Chapter 37
NICK
I wish I didn’t have to go away and leave Lizzie, I think as I drive up to Leeds.
Alison’s right, she is taut with anxiety.
I’ve seen it building ever since the wedding, actually before the wedding.
Lizzie was concerned that her mum had rushed into marriage with George too quickly, that she didn’t know enough about him.
But anyone can see that they’re happy together.
And they’re both just a couple of years off retirement, it’s only natural that they would seize the chance of happiness while they could.
I agree with Alison, that Lizzie probably feels she’s pushed out by the marriage.
She’s an only child and was adored by both her parents.
When Arthur died, Lizzie and Judith became even closer, and they relied on each other for everything.
I understand that Lizzie would want to hang on to that connection, but she has me and the children now, we’re her family.
Surely she can let go of her mum a bit. And she should be grateful that Alison has stopped to look after her, I know I am.
Lizzie would be run ragged if she had to do it all and that could cause her to have a breakdown again.
She’s already worked herself up into such a state that she’s taken to wearing that damn anxiety band around her wrist again.
She hasn’t worn that for ages. At one time she was never without it, her therapist encouraged her to get one.
It’s basically a coloured elastic band that she snaps against her wrist every time she feels anxious.
The ‘snap’ as the band springs back onto her wrist is supposed to get her ‘out of her head’ and back to reality.
For Lizzie it signifies comfort, a coping mechanism. But for me it’s a cause for alarm.
Because when Lizzie is wound up things start to happen.
Taps left on, doors left unlocked, things put in strange places, cookers and irons left on.
I have to follow her around checking everything.
Once she put Isaac in his pram in the garden then started working and forgot all about him.
Luckily I came home for lunch and found him screaming, Lizzie came down at that moment, her face ashen, saying Isaac was missing from his cot.
‘Oh, you’ve got him, you could have told me!
’ she said when she saw him in my arms. She wouldn’t believe it when I told her I’d found him in the garden.
Absolutely denied it until I took her out and showed her the pram.
Another time she left the iron plugged on and unattended when Isaac was a toddler, Judith popped in and found Lizzie hanging out washing in the garden and Isaac crawling around unsupervised.
I was so worried that harm would come to the children.
Now that worry is resurfacing. I can’t believe that she’s got herself in such a state over a jar of peanut butter.
Of course one of the kids must have picked it up and she didn’t notice.
How else would it get there? She’s on edge all the time at the moment.
And I can’t believe that she’s actually accused Alison of drugging Judith.
And now she’s on her own with the kids. Normally Judith would be there to keep an eye on things but there’s no one. And I’m worried what’s going to happen.
There’s only one thing I can think of, and that’s to phone Jodie. She’s got her hands full, I know, but she’s the only other person who knows how much Lizzie struggles, and she’s her oldest friend.
Luckily my car phone is hands free. I call Jodie.
‘I need your help,’ I say.