Chapter 38
LIZZIE
That jar of peanut butter is on my mind all evening as I give the kids their tea and get them to bed, forcing a smile on my face, acting like nothing is wrong when my mind is whirling.
And my thoughts are spinning out of control.
Alison’s to blame, I know she is. Everything has gone wrong since she came into our lives.
Mum’s fall, how weak Mum’s becoming, she’s always so exhausted.
I’m suspect that Alison’s dosing Mum with something and is trying to make me think that I’m imagining things.
She wants to push me to a breakdown, I’m sure of it, and I’m scared how far she will go.
And the way she’s sidling up to Nick, sending him messages, getting him to come over on his own on the pretext of helping to do things she should be able to do herself.
Or could ask Kenny and Sheila to do. They’re always there.
I’m sure she’s trying to cause trouble between us.
Maybe even take Nick from me. Have my mum, my husband.
My life. The ultimate revenge to take everything from me.
Now I do sound paranoid.
A text pings in. I glance at the screen and see it’s from Jodie.
Want a catch up when I’ve got Freddie down?
That’s exactly what I need. Jodie will understand. She knows what went on that day, she understands what I’ve gone through all these years.
Love one. The kids are in bed so call me when you’re free.
I text back.
I grab a glass of wine and curl up on the sofa in the lounge already feeling myself destressing.
Jodie is the one person I can talk to freely about this and who will believe me.
I take a sip of my wine and let the smooth liquid flow down my throat.
Jodie will help me find a way to trap Alison and show everyone what she is doing.
I jump as the phone rings. Jodie is vid-calling me. She grins at me through the screen and raises her glass of wine. ‘Hiya. What’s up?’
‘Nick’s away and I’m on my own and I think Alison is trying to kill my mum and set me up for it.’ The words gush out like Prosecco from a bottle you’ve shaken then taken the cork out of.
Jodie’s eyes widen. ‘Crikey! I didn’t expect you to come out with that! What the hell has she been up to?’
I love how she listens to me and never makes me think that I’m crazy. How she instantly believes me and wants to know more. Jodie is the best friend anyone could have.
‘I don’t know where to start…’
‘Anywhere you want. I’m listening.’
So I tell her everything, it literally pours out of me.
How I think Alison is responsible for my mum’s fall, for how tired she is, how Alison has made threats against Mum, how she’s trying to push me out, how she’s always all over Nick.
And finally about the jar of peanut butter I found in the cupboard.
Jodie shrieks ‘No way!’ at that.
‘She’s out to get her own back because it’s my fault her mum died,’ I say. ‘The trouble is, how far will she go?’
Jodie listens and calms me down. ‘Liz, you have to let this go. You’ll make yourself ill. You were a kid and what happened was an accident. Look, why don’t you and the kids come and stay with me for the weekend? I don’t like you being there on your own without Nick.’
She’s worried about me. I can hear it in her voice. Nick is too.
Am I having a breakdown again?
I’m worried about me too. And I don’t want to stay here alone, so I agree to Jodie’s suggestion of staying with her tomorrow night.
It will be nice to have a chat over a glass of wine and Jodie is good for me, she has such a no-nonsense attitude.
I’m coming home on Saturday night though, before Rob comes back. He doesn’t need me and my kids there.
I tell Nick about my plans when he phones later that night.
‘That’s great. You and Jodie can have a catch-up,’ he says, clearly pleased. ‘I’m hoping I can sort things out up here in a couple of days, love. I should be home by Sunday evening.’
I hope he is. I miss Nick. And I’ve decided that when he comes home I’m going to tell him everything. I’m going to tell Mum too. I can’t keep carrying this guilt around with me.
And then Alison will have nothing on me.