Chapter 76
LIZZIE
‘What is it?’ I demand after Alison has left. ‘Are you in love with Alison? Are you leaving me?’ The idea of a life without Nick is devastating and I mentally prepare myself for his confirmation that my world as I know it is about to end. But he shakes his head vehemently.
‘No, Lizzie. Of course not. I’d never leave you. I love you.’ His voice breaks and he swallows. ‘But I haven’t told you the whole truth about the night your dad died.’
What? I lean forward and focus on him, remembering the text I received which mysteriously disappeared. ‘What do you mean?’
I listen, stunned and confused, as Nick haltingly explains that he knew the extension cord was faulty but had been distracted by Alison as he was about to put a warning label on it.
‘I’m so sorry, Liz. If I had put a label on it, your dad would never have tried to plug the photocopier into the socket.
’ He twists his hands together agitatedly.
‘But in my defence it was Friday night and I thought no one would be in work until Monday. And your dad was supposed to be working away so I had no idea he would come back to the office.’ His eyes are on my face, gauging my response.
‘I’m so sorry. He was breathing, Lizzie, and we called the ambulance straight away. It was a heart attack that killed him.’
Shock courses through me. Shock and anger.
‘So while you were having sex with Alison at the office, my dad came back and tried to use the photocopier? The one you knew was faulty, but you were so desperate to have it off with Alison you couldn’t spare five minutes to put a warning sticker on it?
And you didn’t mention that anyone else was there when my dad suffered that electric shock.
’ Rage is flaming inside me. ‘Not only did you flout health and safety procedures, but you also lied to us, lied to the police. And you’ve kept up the lie for years! ’
‘Arthur was alive when Alison left, she had a flight to catch. So when he died I kept her out of it, she was in France by then.’ He reaches out for me but I pull away.
I don’t want to be near him right now. He’s lied to me ever since he came into my life.
Did I ever really know him? ‘More like you didn’t want any questions asked because you knew that you could be charged for not adhering to health and safety restrictions!
You knew that you were responsible for my dad’s death.
That if you hadn’t been so bloody eager to have sex with Alison, Dad would still be alive.
’ Sobs break out, noisy, gut-wrenching sobs.
I put my hands over my mouth as tears spill out of my eyes and step back as Nick tries to comfort me.
‘Get away from me! Keep your hands off me!’
His face creases and he shakes his head again. ‘It wasn’t like that. You’ve got to believe me. I’ve carried this for years, Liz. I tried to make it up to you and your mum, worked hard to make the company a success.’
I remember how he came to our house straight away, told us about Dad’s accident, comforted us both.
How he kept coming around. Was that to appease his guilt?
So no one would wonder why he was there so late that night and why the electric socket hadn’t been marked as faulty.
‘Is that why you married me? Because of guilt?’ I demand between sobs.
‘No!’ he protests. ‘I swear. I love you. I loved you from the moment I saw you.’
I don’t believe him. And I don’t think I can forgive him. He’s kept this a secret for years. And I can’t help wondering if he didn’t take advantage of the situation. Married me so he could get hold of Dad’s company.
‘That text, you deleted it, didn’t you?’ I demand. ‘You wanted me to think I’d imagined it.’ I know by the look of shame on his face that I’ve guessed right.
‘Look, Lizzie, let’s go home. You’re exhausted, you’ve been through a lot.
You need time to digest this, but please believe me that it was a tragic accident.
I was in a panic, scared of what had happened, of what would happen.
So yes, I lied a little. And once I started that lie I had to keep it up.
What good would have come from telling anyone?
And yes, I admit that I deleted the text but only because I was scared of losing you.
’ He steps towards me, imploring. ‘I love you, Lizzie. I’ve always loved you. I’ll do anything to put this right.’
I can’t deal with this. Not after everything that’s happened. My mum was almost murdered, she’s still in hospital, we both almost died in a fire. Now Nick, my rock, has confessed to being a liar and responsible for my dad’s death.
‘You can never put it right!’ I scream at him. ‘My dad is dead because of you. I don’t want you anywhere near me. I want you to pack your things and go. I don’t want you in the house.’
‘Leave you and the kids? I can’t do that! Look, Lizzie, I know you’re upset but we can work through this. You need me. The kids need me.’
There he goes, scared I can’t cope without him.
That I’m going to fall apart and do something.
Well, I’m not. I wasn’t imagining things all this time, was I?
Someone was out to get Mum. Someone did sneak into our house.
Nick was hiding things and playing with my mind.
I was right all the time. That knowledge makes me stronger.
I’d doubted myself but now I don’t. This has knocked me for six, yes, but I’ll cope.
Me and Mum will cope together just like we did when Dad died.
I shake my head. ‘I can’t bear you to be near me. When Mum comes out of hospital today I’ll bring her back to mine. We’ll look after each other.’
‘The kids. You can’t stop me from seeing the kids.’
I reach right down into my soul for strength. ‘I want you to get out of the house and give me space so that I can deal with this. Surely you owe me that?’
His shoulders slump, his whole body sinks like a deflated balloon. He nods slowly. ‘If that’s what you want.’