Chapter 77
LIZZIE
The summer has gone by in a bit of a blur.
Mum struggled to take in everything that happened, that George and Kenny had planned to defraud her.
Her only small comfort was that George had stopped Kenny from killing her, so she has convinced herself that he loved her after all, but she finds it hard to grieve George’s death after everything he did.
‘How could I have got it so wrong?’ she whispers to me. ‘They all seemed such a nice family.’
‘People aren’t always who we think they are, Mum. It’s not your fault that you were so trusting.’
‘You warned me that I was rushing into things and you were right.’ Tears spill down her face, and I hold her tight.
I haven’t told her about Nick’s carelessness causing Dad’s death.
I can’t bring myself to add to her grief.
She’s struggling enough as it is. Physically she’s getting stronger, thank goodness.
She can manage the stairs, now, and is sleeping in Grace’s room, while Grace sleeps with me.
I’ve told everyone that Nick is working away.
Even Jodie doesn’t know the truth and I always tell her everything, but not this time.
This is so big that I’m scared to share it, because once it’s out there I can’t take it back, and I don’t know what the consequences will be for Nick.
Can he be charged with negligence or even manslaughter?
Do I want him to go to prison for it? My mind is in turmoil and the only one I can speak to is Alison.
I don’t feel any anger towards her because she didn’t know about the electric socket being faulty and when she caught her flight Dad was still alive. And he would still be alive today if the shock hadn’t given him a heart attack.
Alison is still here, living in Mum’s house, tidying it all up and overseeing the redecorating the insurance company have arranged to be done because of the fire.
She is really supportive to me, talks to me for ages on the phone when I can’t sleep, comes over to help with Mum and the kids.
I know she’s in touch with Nick too, she told me so, but I don’t mind.
I know there’s nothing between them. I wonder if there’s also nothing left between me and Nick too.
My emotions have turned from raging fury to devastation and then acceptance.
I realise that Dad’s death was an accident and that Nick did his best to save him and look after us.
I understand why he was scared to tell the truth.
Like I was when George’s wife died. But I was a child then, I wasn’t responsible for my actions.
Nick, though, was an adult. And I can’t shake the feeling that Nick only married me out of guilt.
The kids are at school and Mum is asleep, so I sit out in my Zen garden, drinking in the calmness and tranquillity.
I remember how Nick worked all weekend to create this for me while I was at Mum’s, too consumed by guilt and anxiety to get out of bed.
I gaze around at the carefully chosen statues, the plants, the bench I am sitting on.
I’ve always loved it here. It exudes peace and love.
Nick’s love. He didn’t have to build this for me, I acknowledge. He didn’t have to do any of the things he did. He didn’t have to come and look after us, arrange the funeral, keep seeing me. Marry me. No one knew what had happened that day except Nick and Alison, and she had gone to live abroad.
Nick could have walked away from it all, got another job. No one would have ever known. Instead he stayed. Tried to make things right. Because he’s a good man who made a mistake. A mistake that probably eats him up like mine did to me.
I don’t know if he married me out of guilt, I guess I’ll never know.
But he loves me now. I can feel it as I sit here surrounded by the proof of his love.
I can see it in his eyes when he speaks to me, I can feel it when he touches me.
And I love him too. I don’t want to live without him.
I have to forgive him, like I’ve finally forgiven myself.
I pick up my phone and send him a text. Then I go back indoors to Mum.
We’re in the kitchen having a cup of tea when I hear the front door open.
Nick comes into the kitchen and his eyes meet mine. He looks tired, drawn and like he’s lost a bit of weight. He holds out his arms hesitantly.
I get up, walk over to him and into his embrace. He wraps his arms around me and I rest my head on his chest. ‘I love you, Lizzie. Never forget that,’ he whispers.
‘I love you too,’ I say.
We’ll get through this. Just like we’ve got through everything else. One mistake doesn’t define us, it makes us stronger. We will find a way to heal and move forward. What defines us is the love we have for each other, the bond we built, the family we have together.
* * *
If you couldn’t put down The Stepsister’s Secret and you can’t wait to read another gripping thriller by Karen King, don’t miss The Mother-in-Law.
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