Chapter 17
CAMERON
B erta put on a spread of pastries and bacon for our midday breakfast. The dream was a faded memory in the back of my mind, but the fever wasn’t. I needed to do something before it got out of hand.
With Willowman gone, I’d need to turn to Yarrow for magical assistance and Mirrowind for information on the kind of fae blood I might have. I needed to make the connection and fast.
“My Cameron, you think hard today,” Derek said from across the table.
“Just tired.”
“You didn’t sleep well?” Shar asked. “I’m so sorry. Was it the bed? The room?”
“No.” I glanced at the door. Berta had just left the room, so it was safe to speak. “I had one of my fevers last night.”
Shar looked confused for a moment before her face softened in comprehension. “Shit. You think it’s going to get worse?”
“Yeah.”
“What can we do?”
“I don’t know. Serath usually…He was here for me.”
“I can be here for you,” Derek said.
“No!” Shar and I said at the same time.
He looked between us, his diamond eyes clouded. “My Cameron, I want to help you.”
“I know, but not with this. You can’t help with this.”’
“Why not?”
My cheeks warmed. “Because…because I don’t want you to, okay?”
He flinched and looked down at his plate. I shot Shar a help me look.
She gently placed her hand on his arm. “Derek, it’s a sex thing. The kind of thing that lovers do, not best friends.”
He looked up slowly. “I see. My Cameron, you can explain these things to me. I will understand.” Then to Sharniza. “Thank you. And I do have a solution. You can do the sex thing with Levi.”
“No, I can’t. Because…because we used to be lovers and now we’re not, and it would confuse things.”
“For who?” Derek asked.
Damn, he was too astute for his own good sometimes.
“Derek has a point,” Shar said. “What other options do you have? Curi? He’d do it for sure, but he’s already half in love with you, and Touron would probably be sick at the thought. He sees you as a sister.”
“Then some random goyle.” I shuddered.
“Curi,” Sharniza said. “Better than a random guy who might turn into a stalker.”
Derek nodded his agreement. “He is the safest choice if need be.”
Urgh. “I don’t want to. I don’t want anyone but Serath.”
Sharniza looked me dead in the eyes. “Serath is gone.”
I reminded myself of this fact regularly, but hearing it said was a fresh kind of torment. “I know, but…it feels like he’s still here.” My dream surged to the forefront of my mind. “Last night, I?—”
A gargoyle male strode into the room. “Sharniza, when did you arrive?”
Sharniza sat up straighter, her expression smoothing out like glass. “Father. We arrived last night and will be leaving after the funeral.”
This was her father? This tall, wiry goyle with a heavy brow and frown lines that made me think he never smiled? I couldn’t see the resemblance between them at all.
“And who are your guests…” His brows shot up at the sight of Derek. “Miss Basque and her shield, I presume?”
“News travels fast.” I forced a smile. “Nice to meet you.” Although it didn’t feel nice. It felt cold and uncomfortable being in his presence, as if he sucked the heat right out of the room.
He barely looked my way before turning his assessment on his daughter. “You’ve let your hair grow out.” His nose twitched as if he smelled something bad. “You’ll fix that.”
“I’m sorry,” Shar said smoothly. “Things have been busy. I’ll get it cut back at the academy.”
“No need. Berta can do it before you leave.”
A little light bled out of my friend’s eyes. Her throat bobbed. “Of course.”
“Do you want to cut your hair?” Derek asked Shar.
Her father looked at Derek as if he couldn’t believe he’d dared to speak. “Excuse me?”
Derek took his time tearing his attention from Shar and fixing it on her father. Then he simply said, “You’re excused” before dropping his attention back to Shar. “Do you want to cut your hair?”
Shar stared at him for long seconds, as if she couldn’t believe someone was asking her that question. Asking her what she wanted.
“Shar…” He gently touched one of her curls. “Do you want to cut your hair?”
“No,” Shar said softly.
“Then you shouldn’t.” A gentle smile bloomed on his lips, showcasing the tips of his canines. “I’m glad. I think it suits you this length.”
“Sharniza? What is the meaning of this?” her father demanded.
Shar held Derek’s gaze when addressing her father. “It means I’m not cutting my hair.” She smiled, and it lit up her eyes. “In fact, I plan to grow it out. I might even put a pink bow in it.” And there was the twinkle that had been absent since coming to Arcadia.
Her father’s eyes bugged. “Don’t be ridiculous. I won’t allow it. You are a warrior. A guardian, an alpha female who?—”
“Likes pink.” Shar pushed back her chair and stood, eye to eye with her sire.
“I like pink, and heels, and dresses. I like makeup and bows and pretty, shiny things, and I am done denying myself. It’s enough that my nature stripped me of the chance to bear children and put me onto the frontlines of a war that I didn’t choose to fight.
It’s enough that I can never be mated to my own kind. I’ve given enough, and I’m done.”
Her father’s eyes narrowed, his lips thinning. “You would bring ridicule and shame on this family?”
“If my being happy makes you ashamed, then so be it.” She jerked her chin my way. “We should get going. Orix will be here to pick us up soon.”
She strode from the room, but I took my time pushing back my chair and standing. “I’d say it was a pleasure meeting you, but that would make me a liar. But I will give you a piece of advice. Rethink your priorities before you lose your daughter. Trust me, don’t leave it too late.”
I followed Derek out of the room, suddenly eager to be out from under this oppressive roof and go to a funeral.