25. Violet
25
VIOLET
When Isaac opens the door to the small bookstore, the warmth that had been completely focused on the hand that’s holding his now spreads throughout my entire body. The store is cosy, the walls lined with shelves of books, both new and old, and I think I could spend hours here without getting bored. There’s only one other person in the store, an older lady with a wide grin on her face standing behind the checkout desk.
“Isaac?” she says, eyebrows raised in question.
“That’s me,” he says, stepping ahead of me to shake her hand. “Thank you so much for letting me do this.”
“It’s no problem at all, my dear.”
I look back and forth between the two of them, trying to figure out what I’m missing exactly. This isn’t a place I’d have expected Isaac to visit before - not because he doesn’t like reading but because he only ever read the books I told him about.
“What are you talking about?” I ask, still looking at them both, and I notice the smile on her face get even bigger when she looks down at mine and Isaac’s joined hands. I squeeze his hand lightly, hoping he’ll answer me, but he’s completely silent, not even sparing a glance in my direction.
“Oh!” The lady exclaims before pulling a small card out from underneath the desk. “This is for you, dear.” She hands it over to me, and Isaac finally looks at me, chewing his bottom lip.
“Open it.” He nods his head towards it, and I reluctantly let go of his hand to unfold the card.
The last book you told me to read
I look up at him again, and he’s staring straight at me, beautiful green eyes that seem to be saying so much. He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose before swallowing.
“Do you remember it?”
“Of course I do.”
I think back to a few months ago, talking on the phone with Isaac just before exams started and giving him a detailed summary of the book I was reading at the time. He always listened even when he had no idea what I was talking about, and I’ve missed not being able to talk to him about books.
It was the first book in a long fantasy series, one about demon hunters in New York that I thought Isaac might like too. He never minded when I spoiled books for him, he always just paid attention and asked questions so that I could keep talking.
I read the signs above the shelves and navigate towards the fantasy section, scanning the shelves to find the book. A few moments later, Isaac joins me, standing close behind me as I search for the book.
I find it a few minutes later with the help of Isaac coughing obnoxiously to get my attention and pointing his foot towards one of the lower shelves. I bend down to get the single copy available and notice a piece of paper sticking out of it.
Another card.
“Isaac.” I stand up, spinning around to face him with the book and card clutched in my hands.
“Violet.”
I still can’t get over the way he says my name and how lovely and different it sounds coming from him compared to everyone else.
“Don’t tell me you’ve set up a bookstore scavenger hunt.”
I want him to deny it because if that’s really what’s happening right now then I’m scared I’ll have to admit to him just how much I’ve missed him, just how much he knows me like no one else does. I’m scared I’ll have to admit that I hate that we’ve been apart for so long and how much time we’ve wasted. I’m scared that I’ll have to admit that I think I’m in love with him.
“I’ve not not set up a scavenger hunt?” He tilts his head to the side as he says it, his hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck. He looks so adorable that I have to look away from him before I do something stupid like kiss him. “Read the card.”
He doesn’t have to tell me twice because I’ll do anything to avoid looking at him .
The first book you told me to read
Again, I dig into my memories trying to remember a conversation from years ago and then it hits me.
FIVE YEARS AGO
This year, Isaac and I decided to exchange cards. I felt so embarrassed after he gave me a card on our birthday last year, and I didn’t have one for him, so I hurried to make one for him the next day. We started talking more after that, and a few months ago, he told me that he’d discovered a classroom in the science block that never gets used. He suggested that it would be a good place to meet for our birthday, somewhere we could be alone.
As soon as the last bell rang, I made my way toward the classroom with the birthday card I’d prepared for him safely tucked away between two books so it wouldn’t get creased throughout the day. I didn’t want to risk being late by running back to my room to get it, so I made sure I packed it in my bag last night.
When I reach the classroom, I peek in and notice that Isaac hasn’t arrived yet so I enter and take a seat at the desk near the window in the back corner of the room. I’m not sure when he’ll turn up, so I take out the book I’m currently reading and open it to where I left my bookmark.
A few minutes later, the door opens, and Isaac walks in. A big smile appears on his face when he sees me .
“Hi.”
“Hi.” I echo as he approaches me.
I place the bookmark back into the book, putting it on the desk as he takes the seat next to me. He drops his bag on the desk and rummages through it for a few seconds before pulling out a card and I do the same.
We hand them to each other, fingers brushing for just a moment, but it feels electrifying. I try not to look at him as I feel my cheeks getting red and focus on the card instead. It has a drawing of a cake with thirteen candles on it, Happy Birthday written underneath it with careful handwriting. I open it to read the message inside, and the words ‘Happy Birthday Violet! from Isaac’ in slightly messier handwriting with small doodles around it shouldn’t be making my heart beat this fast. I rub at my chest as if it’ll slow it down, but it doesn’t.
When I finally look up at him, he’s holding something rectangular wrapped in green paper.
“You got me a present?” I ask, trying to hide the disbelief in my voice.
“It’s nothing big. I just saw it and thought of you.”
I don’t focus on the last part of that sentence as much as I want to. If I do, it’ll make it obvious how much I’ve been thinking of him this past year, too.
“I didn’t get anything for you though. I thought we were just doing cards.”
“I know but I went home on the weekend, and my mum made me go shopping with her. When I saw it, I knew I wanted to get it for you.” He holds it out to me, and I take it from him. “Open it.”
I take care to unfold the green paper slowly, peeling the tape off to reveal a book. But it’s not just any random book, it’s the sequel to the book I’m reading.
“Wow, Isaac, thank you so much.”
I turn it over in my hands, reading the synopsis on the back, my fingers running over the raised letters on the title on the front.
“I saw you reading last week and the cover looked the same so I searched it up and found out this was the second book. I wasn’t sure if you’d had a chance to buy it yet so I wanted to get it for you.”
“That’s really kind of you.”
I place it on the desk next to the first book, looking at the covers together before looking back at him. “I didn’t think you’d get me anything like this. I only got you a card.”
“Sorry, I probably should have told you, but I wanted it to be a surprise.”
I just smile at him, my heart fluttering at the thought that he’s put into this, but then his eyes widen, and he gasps. “Wait, do you have it already? I knew I should have got you something else.”
“What? Oh no, you were right. I didn’t get around to buying it yet.” I reassure him even though it’s a lie.
I bought the sequel as soon as it came out but the thought of Isaac paying attention to what book I’m reading and putting in the effort to get the second one for me has done something weird to my heart. It keeps beating faster, and it feels like it’s about to pop out of my chest with every word he says. His small panic was enough for me to tell him a small lie so he won’t feel bad, and I’ll happily get rid of my own copy to keep this one.
“Phew, that’s good. I got worried for a second there.” He says, letting out a relieved breath. “I read the back of the first one, and it looked pretty interesting, actually.”
I can’t hide my excitement and the chance to talk about the book that I think will become a new favourite of mine.
“You have to read it. It’s so good. I can give you my copy when I’m done if you want. I can finish it tonight and give it to you tomorrow?”
“I’d like that.” He gives me a small smile and listens as I explain the start of the book to him .
I scan the shelves to find the book and again, it’s the only copy available. I take it down and open it to find the piece of paper.
The first book we read together
I keep following the clues, moving around the store like I’m retracing our history through books, and I have to avoid looking at Isaac so that he doesn’t see what this has done to me. With every book, I have to force back tears as I go through happy memories that are filled with him. I knew he read the books I recommended, but I had no idea he kept track of them like this to the point where he was able to set all of this up.
When I take the paper out of the next book, he tells me it’s the last clue, and even though we’ve been here for a while now, I don’t want it to end. No one else has come into the store, and I wonder if he’s the reason for that, too.
Your favourite boo k
I go to the area where it should be, but it isn’t there. I look over all of the shelves, noting that every other classic I can think of is stored here, but not that one.
“I can’t find it,” I tell him, and I have to clear away the lump in my throat after I say it because I’m worried that he might have got the most important one wrong after all of this.
“Maybe you should ask her for help.”
Isaac doesn’t seem worried at all, standing with his hands in his pockets and looking like he has complete confidence that he chose the right book. He starts walking towards the checkout desk, and I follow behind him, racking my brain for what other book he might think it could be.
“Hi, sorry, but I can’t find what I was looking for.”
“What book is it?”
“Persuasion,” I tell her, hesitating slightly before answering. I glance at Isaac, but he’s not looking at me at all, his earlier confidence gone as he focuses on a spot on the ceiling instead.
“Ah, yes, I have that right here.” She reaches under the desk and pulls out a stunning clothbound edition, one that I’ve had my eye on for a while but haven’t bought yet.
She slides it over the counter towards me, and as I go to pick it up, I notice a small bump in the middle. The lady excuses herself, leaving us alone as she goes to a room in the back.
I open up the book to where the bump is and there’s a small black velvet pouch. I turn to face Isaac, holding on to his arm so that he’ll look at me, and he does, brows furrowed and his bottom lip stuck between his teeth again .
When I lift the pouch, I quickly scan the page it's on to see whether it’s just random or it was meant to be here.
You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me that I am not too late, that such precious feelings are gone forever.
I stop reading, focusing my eyes on the pouch instead, my trembling fingers pressed to the knot where it’s tied. Isaac’s hand covers mine as he takes it from me to open it, and I will my hands to stop shaking so much so that he won’t see how nervous I am.
He turns my hand over, laying it flat before tipping the contents of the pouch into it. At first, all I see is a chain of silver, but then Isaac’s fingers run gently over my palm as he untangles it to reveal a small pendant with the letter I .
I look at his face, and then he pulls the collar of his hoodie aside, reaching in to pull out a matching necklace, but his has the letter V on it.
I squeeze my eyes shut, closing my fingers around the necklace as I feel tears running down my cheeks. There’s a shift in the air as Isaac comes towards me, and then I’m wrapped in his arms, my face buried in his chest where I want to stay forever.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He whispers, holding me tightly, and I let out a noise that’s caught between a half laugh half sob.
Isaac pulls back but he’s still standing close enough to me that our shoes are touching. His hands are on my face as he tilts my head up, thumbs brushing away the tears like I did for him a few weeks ago.
“It’s a happy cry.” He lets out a small laugh, and I open my hand between us to look at the necklace again. “Will you help me put it on?”
“Of course. Turn around.”
I pass it to him and do as he says, lifting my hair as he steps closer to me, placing the necklace around my neck and fastening it. I fiddle with the pendant, making sure the I is centred, even though I want it directly over my heart, and turn around to show him.
Isaac lets out an unsteady breath, his eyes fluttering close for a second before he opens them again.
“How does it look?”
“Beautiful.” He says, but his eyes are focused on mine, and he hasn’t even glanced down at the necklace.
I twist the pendant between my fingers, reaching out to do the same to his, and he lets me, dipping his head slightly so that we’re closer.
“When did you get this?”
“A while ago,” he says, his fingers joining mine as we hold the pendants close together. “I wanted to give it to you on our birthday last year before everything happened.”
I lean up to place a kiss on his cheek, hoping that it’ll say enough, that he’ll understand I don’t blame him anymore, that I forgive him. His answering smile tells me it does.
“I’ve been wearing mine for longer since that first day back last September.”
Surely, he doesn’t mean the day we made things official, but the nervous look on his face confirms it was.
“That long?”
“I thought it might be a bit too much to give to you then, but it’s always been you for me, Violet. I’ve been keeping your one in the inner pocket of my blazer, right over my heart.”
I don’t need to hear anything else from him, and I drop the pendants, closing the distance between us as I throw my arms around his neck and hug him tightly.