30. Violet
30
VIOLET
Isaac and I decide to come back to school a day earlier than everyone else. Every moment we spend together now just feels like we’re making up for lost time, trying to reclaim as much of it as we can. Mum was completely fine when I told her I wanted to go back a day earlier, and when I finally opened up to her about where Isaac and I stood, she was happy for me. Our relationship is stronger than it’s ever been, and nothing can break it now.
I go to his room this time, and I barely have a chance to knock on the door before it’s open, and he’s pulling me into his arms. I let out a huff of air as he crushes me to his chest and stumbles backward into his room, kicking the door closed.
“Isaac.” My voice comes out muffled and he finally loosens his grip on me just enough so that I can raise my head to look at him.
He stares down at me, moving his hands up to stroke my hair a few times, and then he’s holding my face in both of his hands as he leans down to kiss me. I can feel his smile, and it’s still there when he pulls back.
“I missed you.”
“I missed you, too,” I say, because even though we spoke to each other constantly over the break, it doesn’t compare to actually being with him.
I nudge his glasses up the bridge of his nose, and he takes that as his cue to lean down again. As much as I want to keep kissing him, there’s something that I want to talk to him about that’s been bothering me for a few weeks. I hold my hand between our mouths, and he kisses my knuckles instead.
“Okay, did you miss me, or did you miss kissing me?” I tease.
Isaac hums to himself for a second, fingers tapping against my cheeks as he pretends to be deep in thought. He tilts his head to the side, eyes focused on the ceiling, and I playfully shove at his chest to put some space between us. But he doesn’t let go and holds me tighter instead.
“I missed you so much. The kissing is just a fun bonus.”
Then he squeezes my cheeks together, peppering my face with kisses all over until we’re both laughing, and I’ve forgotten why I was pretending to be annoyed with him in the first place.
“Okay, wait, we actually need to talk about something.”
Isaac pulls back, his face lined with concern as he looks down at me. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, don’t worry.” I cradle his face in my hands to comfort him and press a kiss to his cheek before I look into his beautiful green eyes. “I was just thinking, we keep saying we want it to be different this time, and it already is. It’s so much better this time.”
Isaac smiles at me, his face bright because he knows it too.
“But if we want to do it differently, what do you think about telling our friends? I hated that I couldn’t talk to anyone about you before. I kept having to make excuses for why I was so happy all the time.”
I don’t add that I had to make excuses for why I was so distraught when we broke up, but I know his mind goes there, too, because he frowns a little before he kisses my forehead.
“Luke already knows about before. I ended up telling him after we met up that first time to discuss the project. I didn’t tell him everything, though, just that we started talking, and it turned into something more, and then I hurt you.” He lets out a deep sigh at that last part and I stroke my thumbs across his cheeks, give him a small smile to let him know that I’ve forgiven him.
“Avery knows a bit, too. Well, actually, she knows more because I told her about our date. I went to her room after, and I slipped up while we were talking. It didn’t take her long to figure out I was hiding something, so I told her. But I haven’t said anything to her since.”
“I haven’t said anything to Luke either.” He pauses for a second and just stares at me, his eyes moving across my face like he’s never seen me before, and he’s trying to commit me to memory.
Finally, he whispers, “I want everyone to know how lucky I am that I have you, and you have me. I want to stand on the table in the dining hall during dinner, shout it loud and clear so that everyone knows I’m yours and you’re mine.”
I smile at him, basking in his words and the warmth that fills me as I repeat them.
“I’m yours, and you’re mine.”
School starts back up again, and Isaac and I have had conversations with Luke and Avery about what’s going on between us. Avery nearly burst my eardrums when I told her and wanted to know every single detail of what’s happened since we got back together. I told her as much as I could while still keeping the best parts for myself because even though we’re fine with people knowing now, there’s still so much that I want to keep just for us.
In the past, I would tell Avery that I wanted to study alone whenever I wanted to see Isaac, and she’s much more understanding of that now, practically pushing me away from her any time she sees I get a text from him. When I check my phone after my last class of the day, there’s just a single text from him.
Isaac
Can you come to my room?
I walk with Avery until we reach the dorm buildings and then tell her that I’ll catch up with her later as I head toward the other building. The path to Isaac’s room feels so familiar now, and I reach it quickly, fortunately avoiding bumping into anyone because most people still have one period left .
His door is propped open, so I push it open, then close it behind me, locking it because even though Luke knows we’re seeing each other again and we visit each other's rooms, he still has a habit of walking into Isaac’s room whenever he wants.
“Hey, you okay?”
I walk over to where he’s sitting, head on his desk with his hands crossed over the back of his neck. I put my hand on top of his, but he sits up, pressing his forehead to my stomach instead, his arms tightening around my waist. I curl over him slightly, holding the back of his neck and playing with his hair a little while I wait for him to speak.
After a few moments, he lifts his head to look up at me, shifting his hands to my hips instead as he pulls me down to sit on his thigh.
“What’s going on?” I ask, his silence starting to worry me as I wrap an arm around his shoulder to keep my balance.
He lets out a deep sigh, keeping one around my waist while the other rests across my legs to secure me to him.
“I got an offer from Oxford.”
He watches my face for a reaction, but I don’t even know what I’m feeling. I knew he’d get an offer because of how much effort he put into the LNAT and his interviews, so I’ve been expecting this. And after all the conversations we’ve had about it, I know he’s not going to accept it, so there’s no need to worry. But there’s still a tiny prickle of doubt in my mind, the painful thought that he might end up there anyway and that it’ll be the end of us.
“That’s great,” I say, trying to clear the lump in my throat as I place my hand on top of his arm that’s holding my legs. “I’m really proud of you, Isaac. ”
“I can’t decline their offer yet, but I will when it’s time to. I wanted you here so that we could submit my applications for the other universities together.” He lifts his arms and takes my hand in his, joining our fingers together before he presses a kiss to the back of my hand. “Violet, you know I’m not going anywhere without you.”
He lets go of my hand so that he can open his laptop and then brings up the website with his four other university options listed.
“I haven’t done mine yet either,” I tell him, and he squeezes my waist.
“We can do yours after.”
I nod and watch as he slowly scrolls down the page, letting me clearly see his four other options. Isaac knows I need his reassurance, so he’s patient with me as he goes through each of them, double-checking before scrolling to the bottom and confirming his choices as he submits the applications.
He logs out and pushes the laptop towards me so that I can do the same process. It doesn’t take longer than ten minutes for both of us to submit our applications.
We don’t say anything once it’s done, the gravity of what we’ve just done weighing down on us, decisions made for our future just with the click of one button. Isaac closes his laptop and tightens his grip on my waist as I bury my face in the crook of his neck.