36. Violet
36
VIOLET
The weight of something moving next to my head on the pillow rouses me from my sleep. I crack my eyes open slightly, but then they widen as soon as I see Isaac’s face so close to mine. He’s fast asleep, his face completely relaxed. He looks so peaceful, but he still has his glasses on. I try to move my hand to take them off and then realise his is resting on top of mine in the small space on the pillow between us. I don’t want to let go of him, so I take my other hand out from under the cover and slide his glasses off his face before placing them on the pillow above our heads.
I’ve always thought Isaac was handsome since I first saw him. Even at eleven years old, there was a balance between soft and sharp in his features that made me want to write stories about him just so I could try to nail down exactly how to describe him. There’s a softness in his cheeks and the tip of his nose, perfectly balanced with the sharp line of his jaw and his almond-shaped eyes. But now, when he’s fast asleep, he just looks gentle, a more grown-up version of the boy I started liking when I was thirteen - maybe even before that.
If I went back in time and told the younger me that I would be in a relationship and sharing a bed with Isaac right now, she wouldn’t believe it. For so long, I thought my crush on him was one-sided, so I tried not to read too deeply into every nice thing he did for me. But over time, I realised that he felt the same for me, too, and something about that revelation was so freeing. It changed our relationship for the better, and even now, I don’t think I regret the breakup or think too badly of it, no matter how much it hurt at the time.
Everything that’s happened between us in the past is what’s led to this moment right now, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
I graze my fingers along the side of his face, content to just be here with him and be able to touch him like this. I shuffle under the covers to get closer to him, and that’s when I realise he’s sleeping on top of them. It’s not exactly freezing cold in my room, but it still isn’t warm enough to sleep without a blanket. The way he’s curled up tells me he was probably a little chilly before he fell asleep.
I back away from him a bit and attempt to figure out a way to get the covers on both of us, but he’s lying on top of them in such a way that makes it impossible. I don’t want to wake him up, though, either, because I know he’s still struggling with sleeping properly. I shift around a bit more, deciding to sleep on top of the covers with him instead, but then he lets out a small sound, and his eyes start to open.
“Hi,” he whispers, the corners of his mouth turning up and his voice hoarse with sleep .
“Hi,” I reply softly, smiling back at him. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“It’s okay. I was missing you anyway.”
My heart skips a beat at his words and then I’m leaning up on my elbow to press a kiss to his cheek.
He turns his head to face the ceiling, his eyes closed and a wide grin on his face as he says, “One more.”
I roll my eyes at him, but it doesn’t stop me from doing what he says. I kiss his lips, and I can feel his smile as I do it.
“Tell me I’m not still dreaming.”
“This is real life,” I tell him and myself because I can’t believe it either.
“Wow.”
He opens his eyes to fully look at me, and I can see so much adoration in them, so much love for me in them.
I drop my head back to the pillow and tug at the covers.
“Get in. You’ll get cold if you sleep on top.”
“It’s okay. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he says, his voice soft.
“I’ll be more uncomfortable if you sleep like that. Come on.” I tell him as I lift the covers again, and then he’s moving around, sitting up and pulling the covers back before lying down and tucking them around us.
We’re still sharing the same pillow even though I have other ones he can use, but it’s like the thought hasn’t crossed either of our minds to put some space between us. I want the complete opposite, in fact, so I move closer to him, tucking my head under his chin as he wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer to him.
I’ve never shared a bed with anyone like this before. Any sleepovers with Avery, we both kept to our own sides of the bed, mainly because she sleeps like a starfish, and I valued not being woken up by her kicking me. But being like this with Isaac, the way my head fits perfectly under his chin, how his arm curves perfectly around me, the sound of our hearts beating in perfect sync, it’s a completely new feeling that I want to experience over and over again.
I feel the way he moves his head slightly, the light pressure of his mouth on the top of my head.
“I love you so much,” he whispers, reaching in between us to take my hand and hold it.
“I love you, too,” I tell him, squeezing his hand before I fall asleep in his warm embrace.