37. Isaac
37
ISAAC
When I wake up with Violet still in my arms and realise I wasn’t just having the best dream of my life, I have to take a moment to thank every kind of higher power for making this happen. I don’t know what time it is, but sunlight has started creeping in through the closed curtains, and the room has lightened up enough that I can see Violet’s pretty face clearly. I watch her for a while, not wanting to wake her after everything that happened last night.
I don’t think I really processed what she said last night, but in the cold light of day, it’s hitting me now - the project is gone. We’ve spent months working on it, I put so many hours into making sure everything about it was perfect because I wanted to impress her, and it’s all just gone in the blink of an eye.
The deadline is in just a few weeks. It’ll be impossible for us to recreate it, and honestly, I don’t have the energy to do it all over again. Working on it while I was already stressed about applying to universities meant that I exhausted myself, and as the year is drawing to a close I feel completely drained, especially after what happened with my parents.
I know that everything is going to work out even if I don’t have their support, but I can’t deny that if I think about it for too long, it hurts. Even though it resulted from my choices, it feels like I’ve been completely abandoned for no real reason.
I’ve been running myself thin trying to juggle everything at once, and now that it’s close to the most important exams I’ll ever take in my life, I know I need to get my priorities in order. Figuring out what we can submit for the project is at the top of the list right now.
I let out a sigh and hold Violet closer to me, hating the fact that she was blaming herself for it. If anyone’s to blame, it’s me for making a rookie mistake and not backing it up anywhere else. A soft noise escapes her as she snuggles closer to me. All the thoughts that have been muddling my mind for the past few minutes just disappear at the feel of her in my arms.
“Jaanu,” I whisper into her hair after I notice the change in her breathing that tells me she’s awake now.
“Five more minutes,” she mumbles, burrowing her head into my chest to block out the light from the sun as I let out a soft laugh.
“I’ll give you ten,” I tell her, raising my hand to hold the back of her head and pressing her closer to me while I try to figure out a way to get rid of the sun for ten minutes so my girl can sleep.
She presses a kiss to my chest, right on my heart, and I hope she doesn’t feel the way it skipped a beat or the way it’s racing now.
We lay there like that for a while longer, and I don’t make any more efforts to wake her up, happy enough to just be in this moment with her.
I must have drifted back off to sleep because when I open my eyes again, the other side of the bed is empty. I panic for a moment before I hear the sound of water running in the bathroom. Rubbing at my eyes, I get out of bed and pick my glasses up from the desk to put them on. I don’t remember taking them off, and my heart flutters at the realisation that Violet must have done it for me. God, I love her.
The bathroom door is open, so I walk towards it and find Violet washing her face. Her long hair is tied back and she has the cutest pink headband on that has bunny ears. I watch her for a few seconds while her eyes are closed, but she must be able to tell I’m next to her because she says my name, and it’s one of the most beautiful sounds in the world.
“Stop looking at me. I look like a drowned rat,” she says with her eyes still closed as she turns the tap off and reaches for a small towel.
I step closer to take the towel from her, and she doesn’t stop me when I start patting her face dry gently. Instead, she just leans her hip against the sink and holds on to my arm until I’m done.
When she finally opens her eyes, I stare into them, giving her a small smile as my gaze traces her face, and I take in how pretty she is. Then it hits me all over again that she’s mine. I can’t believe how lucky I am .
She snatches the towel from me and covers her face with it, leaving me confused as to what just happened.
“What’s wrong?”
“Don’t look at me like that?”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know, your eyes went weird.”
I gently pull the towel away from her face and dip my head down to look into her eyes.
“I think I was looking at you like you’re the love of my life.”
Her shoulders slump as her mouth turns downwards, and I worry that I’ve said something wrong. I know we’ve said we love each other, but maybe she didn’t mean it the way I did. That insecurity disappears when she steps towards me and wraps her arms around my waist, pressing her cheek against my chest. I put my arms around her, cupping the back of her head to hold her closer to me.
“You need to start giving me some kind of warning before you say stuff like that, especially this early in the morning.”
“Is it not past ten right now?”
“Exactly, it’s extremely early,” she jokes, tipping her head back to look at me.
“Well, you need to get used to it because you’re the first thing I think of every day when I wake up, and I don’t get any kind of warning. I have to pinch myself every morning to remind myself that I’m not dreaming.”
She moves her hand to the back of my neck and pulls me down to her, but I don’t let her get too close and put my hand between our mouths.
“As much as I would love to kiss you right now, truly do not want anything more than to do that. It would be the highlight of my entire life, the best way to start this day, the-”
“Okay, so stop talking and do it,” she says, trying to push my hand away.
“I cannot kiss you until I’ve brushed my teeth,” I say, fighting every urge in my body that is yelling at me to just close the distance between us.
Violet huffs out a breath as she lets go of me. She then opens the little drawer under her sink, fumbling around it until she pulls out a pack of toothbrushes. She opens it, handing one to me and passing the toothpaste over, too.
Violet stays right next to me as I brush my teeth, and as I look at the image of the two of us side by side in the mirror, I let my thoughts get carried away. I start imagining our future, where this is a daily occurrence, where I can fall asleep and wake up with her, every day starting and ending with my greatest love. The simple domesticity of it is enough to have me lifting a palm to rub at my chest because it feels like my heart is going to beat out of it.
I finish up and then wash my face, too. Violet watching my every move in the mirror, and I hope she’s thinking the same thing as I am. I hope she wants it as desperately as I do.
“Okay, now I can kiss you.” I turn to face her.
“Hmm…” She taps a finger to her chin. “I don’t want to anymore.”
She crosses her arm and slides past me to leave the small bathroom. I follow after her instantly, like that invisible string between us is making me chase after her.
I hold on to her wrist to pull her towards me, and she lets out a small oomph when she collides with my chest. Violet looks up at me, gorgeous brown eyes piercing mine as a small smile tugs at the corners of her lips.
“Just kidding.”
I dip my head to hers and catch her mouth with mine, our teeth knocking against each other for a second because we’re both smiling too wide. When we separate, she steps into my arms again and lets out a sigh, her demeanour completely changing.
“What are we going to do about the project?”
I wanted to avoid discussing it with her for as long as possible until I could figure out a solution, but I know she’ll want to help, too.
“I have a few things we can use, maybe. But a lot of them need tidying up and finishing.”
“You’ve already done so much. Won’t that be a lot of work for you?” She looks up at me, a crease between her brows as she frowns. “I feel like I barely contributed anything, and I know you’ve got a lot going on right now, and I don’t want you to get sick again, and it’s my fault-”
“Stopping you right there.” I bring my arms from around her waist to hold her face instead, wanting her to look me directly in the eyes as I say the next words because I need her to really hear them.
“It was not your fault. You couldn’t have known that would happen, so please stop blaming yourself. I told you from the start that I was happy to do most of the work, and that hasn’t changed. We can go through my other stuff and find something that’ll work. It’s all going to be fine.”
I kiss her forehead, and she tightens her grip on me, hands moving to clutch at the back of my shirt. When she looks at me again, she just nods her head, and I don’t need words to know that she’s putting her full trust in me. One more kiss to her lips, and then I tell her that I’m going to text Luke and ask him to bring my stuff over. She steps away from me, grabbing some clothes as she tells me that she’s going to finish getting ready in the bathroom.
Once she’s in there, I grab my phone from the desk, where she has it charged. I can’t remember what I did with it once I saw her last night, but again, she’s taken care of it, just like with my glasses.
Isaac
I’m going to ask you for a favour and you aren’t going to say a single thing about it.
Luke
That’s so ominous
I’m in
What do you need?
Isaac
Can you go to my room and get my laptop and two hoodies
And also get some snacks from my drawer and bring them to the girls’ dorm
Luke
Isaac Evans, are you telling me you’re in Violet’s room right now
Isaac
I didn’t say that
I could be with Olivia for all you know
Luke
I highly doubt that considering I was just talking to Jinhee and they were togethe r
I stare at the screen trying to figure out what excuse I can use but in the end I realise there’s no point in lying anymore.
Isaac
Bring it to Violet’s room
Luke
I knew it
Isaac
You’re insufferable
Luke
Wild thing to say to the guy who’s about to go in your room and choose something for you to wear in front of your girlfriend
Isaac
I will end you
Luke doesn’t respond after that mild threat to his life, so I just take a seat on Violet’s bed and wait for her to finish getting ready.