Chapter 5
The carnival crowd was dwindling, and they’d been here so long that even Zoey was ready to leave. The blaring music, arcade
sounds, and giddy squeals were giving Maggie a headache. She gave the boardwalk one last searching glance before heading back
to the bumper cars where she was meeting Josh and Zoey.
Hours earlier he’d bought a truckload of tickets, and the two of them had been switching off between riding with Zoey and
searching the crowd.
But so far no sign of the man.
Maggie stopped by a couple who were sharing a dish of mint chocolate ice cream. “Excuse me, have you seen this man?” She held
up her phone.
The woman shook her head. “Sure haven’t. Sorry.”
“Have you tried the arcade? There’s a ton of people in there.”
She’d been in there at least five times. “Thank you.”
A knot pressed her windpipe as she moved on. The tang of pizza carried from the open-doored shop, turning her stomach. They’d
been searching almost six hours and nothing. Not a single sighting. Not even a hint. No one recognized the man who’d been
here only the night before.
What if they never found him? How would she ever live with that kind of uncertainty?
The bumper cars were emptying as she approached the ride. As Josh and Zoey skirted the barricades and headed her way, he sent
Maggie a questioning look.
She shook her head.
“Uncle Josh hit the blue car, Mommy!” Zoey grabbed Maggie’s hand. “The one with a little boy, and he laughed. He hit us, too,
and we banged against the wall, then another car hit us. Uncle Josh said we only have one ticket left and I get to ride the
carousel.”
“Is that right? Well, it’s almost closing time. We’d better head that way so you can get your favorite horse.”
“The one with the pink roses!”
“That’s right.”
“Well, there he is, Cupcake,” Josh said as they approached the ride. “There’s no line and your favorite horse is looking for
you.”
“It’s a she , and it’s not a real horse, silly. Only pretend.”
“Oh, I see.” Josh handed over the ticket, and he and Maggie followed Zoey, who stepped onto the carousel base and scurried
over to the horse.
Josh lifted her up and secured the belt. “Hold on tight. I hear this one likes to buck pretty little girls.”
“You’re silly, Uncle Josh.”
“He sure is.” Maggie stepped away. “We’ll be right over there.”
Josh and Maggie moved outside the barricades while the ride filled. By habit now, she searched the shrinking crowd. “I know
running into him again was a long shot, but I was hoping someone would recognize him.”
“Me too. I feel like we’ve been here for a week.”
“How will we find him?”
“We could post his picture around town.”
“What if Erin saw it? I don’t want to bring her into this. It’s awful—this uncertainty and fear we might never have answers.”
Hopelessness swept over Maggie, making her eyes burn.
Josh wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. “Hey. We won’t give up. It’s only been one night.”
The familiar woodsy smell of his aftershave comforted her. “I know it can’t be him. But at the same time I’m so afraid of
finding out for sure it’s not.”
“I’m right there with you, honey. I’ve stared at that photo till I’m cross-eyed.”
“Did you know the chances of a stranger looking just like you is one in one trillion?” Finding that statistic had only buoyed
her hope that this man could actually be Ethan even when reason told her it couldn’t be.
“Maybe he’s not a stranger, per se. He could be some long-lost relative. Someone could’ve donated sperm, or, God forbid—”
He pressed his lips together.
“What?”
“My dad could’ve had an affair.”
Maggie shook her head. “No way. Your mom and dad are so in love. Plus, he’d never do that.”
“I know. I’m just tossing every possible idea out there.”
“Maybe your mom had twins.”
“And didn’t realize it?”
“I guess that is a little outlandish. All I know is we have to find him. I have to know for sure.” She scanned the crowd.
“But it’s like the tide washed him up onshore, then took him right back out to sea.”
“I was thinking earlier... Maybe we could approach this from a different angle.”
She looked up at him. “Such as...?”
“Let’s just suspend all disbelief here and say that man really is Ethan. What possible scenario would have him here in North
Carolina and not knocking down your door? Why would he be here if not to reunite with his family?”
It seemed too ridiculous to even consider. But they needed to cover all their bases. “I’m not in Fayetteville at the moment
and your parents sold their old house. You and Erin have moved.”
“He could’ve called us, though. And he knows where I work.”
True. She’d actually mulled this over all afternoon, in between calls to her mother—whom she still hadn’t heard from. “He
could have amnesia.” She felt silly saying it out loud.
Josh gave her a wry grin. “Does that actually happen outside of rom-coms?”
“I know, I know. You’re the one who said to suspend disbelief.”
He nudged her. “You gotta stop reading those romances.”
“I did.” For three whole years after she’d lost Ethan. It was too depressing to remember what it was like to have a lover.
“But come on, a girl’s gotta have hope.”
“More like a fantasy.”
She smacked the back of his head. “Hey, you liked the one I made you read.”
“I tolerated it.”
“You said liked . I have it right here in a text if you’d like to fact-check me.”
“Fine, fine. I didn’t hate it. But back to the subject at hand—you have to admit it’s highly unlikely Ethan’s alive and wandering
around Seabrook with amnesia.”
“You hear about it on the news sometimes—someone turns up with no idea who they are. And I actually looked it up—1 percent of men get amnesia from things ranging from strokes to traumatic or stressful experiences. And Ethan was in an explosion.”
“Okay... Are you saying maybe he was just knocked on the head instead of...?”
Being blown up. She winced. “Is it possible? An event like that would’ve created a lot of chaos and confusion on the base. Maybe they couldn’t
find him and only assumed he’d died in the explosion. They didn’t give us any details.” She couldn’t believe she was allowing
herself to go there.
“And then what? He wandered off base to the nearest airport and flew back here, to Seabrook?”
The words released a gush of air from her balloon. “I guess that doesn’t make much sense.” And if he’d lost his memory, how
would he even know where to go? “But he’s here in Seabrook, not Fayetteville. What if he didn’t have his recent memories but
only his very old ones? Then he’d just remember living here.”
“That’s true.”
It would also mean he might not remember her. “That doesn’t solve the issue of how he got off the base without the military
knowing he was alive.”
He glanced her way. Then he fixed his gaze on the whirling carousel, his brows furrowing.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“It’s not nothing. And while we’re throwing out far-fetched ideas, you might as well add to it.”
He returned Zoey’s wave. Then his expression sobered again. “What if they know he’s not dead?”
Maggie frowned. Why would the military tell them he’d died if he hadn’t? She shook her head. “That doesn’t make sense.”
“I’m not a conspiracy theorist, but the military is government run, and who really trusts the government? Maybe there’s more
going on than we know.”
“Like what?”
“No idea. I’m talking nonsense at this point.”
“Did Ethan say something to you? Did you sense something was off?”
“No, not at all. He seemed completely normal the last time I spoke with him.”
“Me too.” She thought back to the last video call. She’d reviewed those moments a thousand times: the low rumble of his voice,
the new fine lines at the corners of his eyes, the smile that tipped slightly crooked. He’d told her he loved her like crazy.
Reminded her she was growing a human being and to make sure she was getting proper rest. Being a medic, he wanted to review
every word her OB had said at her last visit.
“He got to see the baby move. He was so excited to be a daddy.” Her throat tightened. He’d never even gotten to see Zoey’s
precious face or touch her delicate newborn skin.
Josh gave her shoulder a squeeze. “We’ll get to the bottom of this.”
The ride began to slow. Maggie checked her watch. It was closing time and the carny wasn’t sticking around one extra minute.
But her feet hurt and she’d kill for a glass of sweet tea.
However, she wasn’t finished discussing the topic at hand. She hated to ask. Josh had a sunrise cruise tomorrow with a youth
group. But neither of them would get much sleep tonight without some kind of plan. “Can you come over?”
He nodded. “We’ll both feel better if we have some kind of strategy in place.”
***
Josh reclined next to Zoey, reading Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day for the fourth time. Two songs and three books. Her eyes were now closed, she clutched Bunny in her arms, and her chest rose
and fell slowly beneath her Elsa blanket.
He closed the book and eased off the bed. She resembled a little angel in the soft lamplight, her lashes touching the tops
of her cheeks. She had her mommy’s brown hair and doe eyes, but he glimpsed Ethan in her olive skin tone and facial expressions.
He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and shut off the light on his way out. He pulled the door until there was only a
slight gap, as she didn’t like it completely closed.
When he reached the living room, a breeze cut through the open French doors. He joined Maggie on the elevated deck where she
was texting someone. Two glasses of iced tea sat on the small circular table between the chairs.
A million stars twinkled on the sky’s onyx canvas, which melted into a sea as dark as the Black River. The white-crested waves
rolled landward, bombarding the shore with a continuous roar. The scent of burning wood carried on the breeze. Someone was
enjoying a campfire at Freeman Park—fires were illegal on every other beach.
He took the chair beside Maggie. “She’s down for the count.”
“How many stories?”
“Three and a half.”
“You got off easy.”
“No doubt. Ever hear back from your mom?”
“That’s who I’m texting. She’s not answering or picking up my calls.”
“I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.”
“You’re probably right.”
This was hardly the first time Nora had left Maggie hanging. He couldn’t fathom why the woman enjoyed causing her daughter
anxiety—especially when Maggie had already suffered so much. But it sure seemed like she did it maliciously. It was hard to
watch.
Maggie was a kindhearted, generous person. He’d never understand how she’d turned out so wonderfully with Nora for a mom.
Must’ve been the good influence of her aunt. Plus the teachers and swim coaches at school, where she’d been well accepted
and had success, both academically and athletically.
She pocketed her phone and turned a chagrined smile his way. “I haven’t even asked how your business is going or how you’re
doing. I just arrived in town and demanded your time and energy, and as always, you gave it. I’m sorry.”
“I think we can give you a little grace here since you ran into your deceased husband’s doppelganger at a carnival.”
Her husky laughter sent a thrill through him. “I mean, come on. You have to admit it’s completely absurd.”
His lips twitched. “Ridiculous.”
Still laughing, she wiped her eyes. “Leave it to Ethan to cook up a mystery for us.”
“He always did like to mess with me.” When Josh was little, Ethan had convinced him he was adopted. Erin exposed his lie,
but not before Josh put a dead jellyfish in Ethan’s bed. And so it went.
“He sure did love you, though.”
At Maggie’s wistful tone, Josh’s expression wilted. “The feeling was mutual.” As they’d grown older, Ethan had become more the protective big brother. But even with his height, Ethan was more cerebral than physical. And Josh, who’d begun to bulk up for football, could easily hold his own.
He glanced through the doorway to the fireplace mantel where two urns sat—his parents’ and Maggie’s. They would release them
at sea in August on the fifth anniversary of Ethan’s death. His brother had loved the ocean.
But were those actually Ethan’s ashes? He shook away the absurd thought.
“I was thinking while you were putting Zoey down... Just to get some closure here, why don’t we reach out to one of his
friends who was there on base? I remember him mentioning Rocky a lot. That was his best friend over there and he worked at
the field hospital too. I met him once on a video call. Surely he’d be able to give us answers or at least direct us to someone
who could. Maybe even someone who was there when the explosion happened.”
“Ethan mentioned him to me too. Do you remember his last name? Or have any idea where he’d be now?”
“I don’t remember a last name, but he was from South Carolina. His tour would be up by now, though.”
“Yeah, he’s probably been discharged.”
“Maybe there’s something in Ethan’s letters. I lost the emails somehow when my computer bit the dust, but I have the copies
I printed—back at the house, of course. I could ask one of my friends to send them... or maybe I should drive back myself.
I don’t want to risk losing them.”
“I still have his emails too. Let me pore over them and see if I can find anything first. Maybe save you the drive.”
“Okay.” Her tone was full of resolution. She crossed her arms over her chest, seeming to sink in on herself.
“What’s wrong?”
“I guess I was just hoping for a quicker answer. This sounds like it might take a while.”
“Maybe not. I’ll look over the letters when I get home.”
“It’s late—and you probably didn’t get much sleep last night either. This can wait till tomorrow.”
Maybe it could. But he didn’t like seeing Maggie so hopeless. He’d get through those letters if it took all night. He hoped
he could find the answers they needed. He didn’t want Maggie to have to wade through Ethan’s emails and stir up the loss just
as she was starting to move on.
But that ship had probably already sailed.