Chapter 6
“Thank you for coming along,” Maggie said to Josh, whose promise to nap in the car had gone unkept. Zoey, on the other hand,
was sound asleep in her car seat.
“Didn’t have any plans beyond watching the Braves game.”
“How was the sunrise cruise?”
“The kids were fun. The youth leader did a devotion after the sun rose, then I narrated the rest of the tour.”
“It was nice of you to do it on your day off.”
She wasn’t sure he’d gotten any sleep last night. He’d texted early this morning saying he’d found no clues about Rocky in
Ethan’s emails. So they were headed back to Fayetteville. Maggie wasn’t looking forward to reading the letters again.
She turned into her neighborhood, an older subdivision containing modest brick ranches with small, well-kept yards.
“Do you want to read them here or take them back to Seabrook?”
“Might as well do it here.” If they both read, it would go twice as fast. She wouldn’t mind Josh reading the messages, though
of course there was a fair share of flirtatious banter and innuendos. She’d leave that up to him.
A minute later they pulled into the paved drive. She and Ethan had bought the house prior to his deployment. She was well estab lished at Fayetteville High School by then and able to afford the mortgage even without Ethan’s pay. The plan was for him to pursue a medical degree after he was discharged. From the Army to med school, Ethan seemed determined to follow in his father’s footsteps. He’d been raised with a great sense of patriotism. A strong sense of gratitude for this country’s freedoms. From the time she’d begun dating him, she’d known he planned to serve, but that hadn’t made it any easier to let him go.
When she shut off the ignition, Zoey stirred in the back seat.
“We’re home, sweetheart.”
Dazed, Zoey glanced out the window. “Can I visit Pokey?”
The next-door neighbor’s schnauzer was Zoey’s favorite plaything.
“If he’s outside.”
Inside the house Maggie went straight for the thermostat. “Let’s get some air going in here.”
“Uncle Josh, come see my room.”
He’d seen it a hundred times already but he followed Zoey anyway. “I’ll keep her company while you read.”
Maggie watched him go. He was such a good uncle. He doted on both of his nieces and his nephew. Probably at least in part
because he was unable to have children himself. And that was a shame because Josh would’ve made such a wonderful dad.
An hour later, Maggie was sprawled on the sofa with a stack of emails. The threads continued for pages and pages. She’d initially
tried skimming them for Rocky’s name, but she soon got caught up in Ethan’s words. She blinked back tears and made two discreet
trips to the restroom to blow her nose. She’d found nothing helpful yet.
Josh entertained Zoey with a puppet show. Then they went outside for a while, making use of the swing set. Judging by the happy barking that followed, Pokey had come outside to chase Zoey around the yard. Now Zoey and Josh watched Frozen II on the Disney+ app.
Maggie read for what seemed like hours as Josh came and went with Zoey. Sometimes Maggie forgot she was even looking for clues.
She got so caught up in Ethan’s world. But unlike the last time she’d read them, his words didn’t drag her deep into a vortex
of suffering. Instead she smiled wistfully at his familiar phrases and tired jokes. She warmed at his declarations of love
and blushed at his innuendos. She missed him so much and couldn’t keep her mind from straying into dangerous territory, because
having him back again would be the kind of miracle she’d dreamed of.
She read on. Her husband was a good storyteller. He never mentioned anything grisly in his letters or calls. He mostly just
told her about the pranks the guys played on each other or funny anecdotes about things that happened on base.
And in the more recent letters he talked about the baby. She remembered the video call when she’d told him they were having
a girl. He was so happy that his eyes teared up and a big goofy grin spread across his face. In the email she was now reading,
he suggested the name Zoey . Maggie had loved it but later they’d tossed other ideas back and forth. She didn’t decide to use his favorite until after
she’d gotten word of his death.
“Hey, Mags...” Josh said from across the room. “How about if I order pizza? The cupboards are pretty bare.”
“Great idea.”
“Cheese for Zoey, deluxe for us?”
“Perfect.”
She resumed reading, getting caught up once again in Ethan’s words. Before she knew it, the pizza arrived and she took a break for the first time since she’d begun reading. Zoey chattered endlessly and insisted Uncle Josh cut her pizza, not Mommy. Maggie was so grateful they had him in their lives. Besides Zoey’s papaw, he was her only male role model.
After Maggie finished her second slice, she stretched her neck, feeling a pull on her tight shoulder muscles. Josh turned
from helping Zoey wash up at the sink. Seconds later his large hands kneaded her shoulders.
She gave a low moan. “That feels so good.”
“You’ve been hunched over those letters for hours.”
Zoey sang as she played in the kitchen sink, probably making a mess. But Maggie couldn’t bring herself to care, what with
Josh’s hands working magic.
“How are you holding up?” He wasn’t referring to her muscles.
“Reading those letters makes me miss him more. I’d forgotten about his expansive vocabulary.”
Josh chuckled. “He did know how to throw around those fancy words.”
“He was so smart.”
“But he read the most boring books.”
Maggie laughed because Josh was right. Ethan hadn’t read fiction like she and Josh did. He fancied hefty nonfiction tomes
he found in secondhand bookstores. The remembered detail opened up an ache in her chest. What else had she forgotten about
him? She wanted to remember everything so she could relay every detail to Zoey as she grew older.
Then again, was there any chance at all Zoey could know him personally? Dare Maggie even hope for that? She glanced over her
shoulder at Josh. “Is there any way it could be him?”
His hands stilled and a silent pause followed. “I honestly don’t know what to think. No matter how many times I work it around in my brain, I can’t make sense of it.”
“I don’t want to hope.” Her eyes stung. “Losing him hurt so much the first time. I’m not sure I could bear that kind of disappointment.”
He gave her shoulders a squeeze. “You’re stronger than you think. You’re the strongest person I know. And I’m right here with
you, honey. Whatever happens, we’ll get through it together. I promise you that.”
The words comforted her, as did his gentle touch. At the thought she eased away from him, grabbed her plate, and stood. “Thanks,
Josh. I should get back to the letters.”
She joined Zoey at the sink and helped her with the words to “Show Yourself” as she soaped up her own hands. When they heard
Pokey barking outside, Maggie helped her dry off so Josh could take her outside to play.
Maggie retired to the living room and dug back into the letters. But she had trouble focusing on the words. She could still
feel Josh’s hands kneading her shoulders with such care. He’d been such a comfort to her. A warm, steady presence in her life.
He was such a good guy. But so different from Ethan. Not as handsome in the traditional sense. Though Josh had nice thick
dark hair and a physique he worked at, his face was rather average with its symmetrical features. There was nothing particularly
memorable about his eyes or nose or mouth. But when his face broke into a grin, his left eyebrow did this little involuntary
bounce. Something was so alluring and mesmerizing about that quirk. Something so endearing.
But it wasn’t his looks that had women beating down his doors—and they did. It was his irrefutable charm. And with so much attention from the ladies, who could blame the guy for moving from woman to woman the way he always had? The bigger surprise was that he’d ever settled down at all.
Of course, his marriage to Samantha had eventually gone down in flames. Maggie had never faulted him for that failure, though.
Not Josh, who was so devoted to those he loved. So good at making everyone feel special.
But the truth was, Josh was the special one.
Maggie gave her head a shake and redoubled her efforts to concentrate on the words before her. Because if she wasn’t careful,
her thoughts just might veer back to that night two and a half years ago when Josh had kissed her.