Chapter 7
Maggie hadn’t been particularly sorry when Samantha divorced Josh. That was a terrible thing to admit, given how distraught
Josh was over the demise of his marriage. But Maggie never felt the woman was good enough for her brother-in-law. And the
fact that she served him divorce papers barely a year after he’d lost his brother said it all.
Josh had initially tried to reason with Samantha, but in the end he didn’t contest the divorce. Didn’t dispute her demand
for their Seabrook home. Didn’t even object to her request for spousal support. It drove Maggie crazy that he rolled over
to Samantha’s every demand, though she tried to hold her tongue since he was so despondent.
When Ethan had died, Josh made the trip to Fayetteville every other week to visit Maggie and later to help with Zoey, who
even as a baby lit up at the sight of her uncle. But his trips soon dwindled to once a month or less, punctuated by phone
calls. Josh never said so, but Maggie suspected Samantha put a stop to his frequent visits.
Upon succumbing to the divorce, he resumed his frequent trips, but he was not at all his charming self. Oh, he put up a good front. But his smiles were forced, his laughter absent. He obviously missed Samantha terribly, though he didn’t confide much in Maggie. He resisted her attempts to pry him open, and eventually she stopped trying. Put her efforts into trying to cheer him up instead.
North Carolina required that a separated couple live apart for a year before obtaining a divorce decree, which took another
sixty days. By the time it was all finalized, Josh was more his old self. Though his eyes had lost their twinkle, and Maggie
hadn’t seen that little brow hitch in months. As far as she knew he wasn’t dating again. Maybe that was what he needed—another
woman in his life.
A few months after the divorce had been final, the holidays were upon them, and Josh arrived with plans to do his shopping
in Fayetteville with Maggie and Zoey. In a few weeks, Christmas would find them gathered in Seabrook at Brad and Becky’s house
for the last time as they’d just purchased a seaside cottage.
Josh arrived on Saturday morning, and Zoey ran to him all smiles, yelling, “Yosh! Yosh is here, Mommy!” They’d just celebrated
her second birthday and her vocabulary was increasing by the day.
Maggie had done most of her shopping, but Josh was on a mission to complete his list in one day. So they hit what seemed like
every store in Fayetteville. Zoey napped in her stroller while Josh picked through jewelry displays for his mom and coatracks
for his dad. The toy store was next. Josh purchased enough gifts to spoil his nieces and nephew rotten, despite Maggie’s admonishments
that Zoey didn’t really need a backyard swing set just yet.
She didn’t fight too hard as he charged up his credit card, but only because she hadn’t seen him so happy in months. He had
such a generous heart. His business was profitable, and if spending his hard-earned money on his family made him happy, who
was Maggie to deny him?
They grabbed dinner out and returned home by Zoey’s bedtime. She’d fallen asleep in the car, so Josh carried her inside and laid her on the bed. Maggie covered her with her Winnie the Pooh blanket and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
“We wore her out,” Josh whispered as they left the room.
“You wore me out. Who does all their Christmas shopping in one day?”
“Smart people, that’s who.”
Maggie pulled Zoey’s door almost closed. “I’d offer you some eggnog, but you think it’s gross.”
“It is gross. But I’ll pour you a glass.” He nodded toward the living room. “Go relax. You’ve earned it.”
“I’ll take you up on that.” In the living room she turned on the Christmas tree lights along with the garland and candles
on the mantel. This was their third Christmas without Ethan and the first she’d gone all out with decorations. Zoey was old
enough to enjoy the lights and hopefully stay away from the ornaments.
Maggie sank onto the sofa, her back loosening painfully. Even though teaching kept her on her feet most of the day, it hadn’t
prepared her for a full day’s shopping with Josh. She smiled at the memory of him tackling the toy store aisles like Santa
on a Christmas mission.
“I can’t stay long.” Josh returned, handed her a glass of eggnog. “I have a part in my church’s Christmas program tomorrow.”
“Do tell.” She took a sip. “Are you playing a wise man?”
He cut her a wry grin. “There are better men for those roles.” He took a gulp of water, looking a little sheepish. “I’m actually
singing ‘O Holy Night.’”
She did a double take. “Wait. You can sing? That’s a hard song!”
“Tell me about it. I’ve been kicking myself ever since Jeff Watkins talked me into this.”
“How did I not know you can sing? Does your family know? Ethan never said a word.”
“I’ve been careful to avoid letting anyone know. And if Jeff hadn’t caught me belting out a tune when I thought no one was
around, my plan would be working just fine.”
“I can’t believe I didn’t know. Sing me something.”
“No.”
“Oh, come on. It’s just me.” Even in the dim lights she could see the mottled red suffusing his neck. “Are you blushing? That’s
so cute.”
“It’s not cute. I don’t like singing in front of people.”
A laugh burst from her chest. “It’s a little late for that, my friend. Come on, just one line. It’ll be good practice. Please?
I won’t laugh.”
He pulled a face. “You think it’s gonna be funny?”
“I don’t know what to think as I’ve never heard you sing .”
He pressed his lips together. Stared her down. “Look the other way.”
“What?”
“I’ll do it, but you have to look the other way. I can’t sing with you staring at me.”
“You’re being ridicu— ” Josh started to get up. “Okay, okay, I’ll look the other way. Jeez. You’d think I was asking you to
pick your nose.”
“That would be less embarrassing.”
She pivoted away from him, staring at the Christmas tree. “Is this good enough, or should I step outside?”
“That would be better actually.”
“Just get on with it already.”
He muttered something, but she only made out the word bossy .
She huffed, waiting. She couldn’t believe he was so self-conscious about this. He’d played several sports in high school.
If quarterbacking a team in front of peers didn’t give a guy stage fright, she couldn’t imagine why singing would. She’d always
wished she had a—
The first tentative notes of “O Holy Night” rang out. She stilled, ears perked. The notes were clear and bright and finished off with a rich and warm vibrato. He finished
the first verse flawlessly, then he was moving into the chorus, his voice ringing out strong and vibrant. The vocals swelled,
sending chills up her arms. The words, his skillful dynamics, carried her away, making her want to fall on her knees right
then and there.
Before she knew it, the last note of the chorus rang out into a shocked silence. She slowly turned and met Josh’s gaze, her
view blurry from tears she didn’t realize had gathered. “That was beautiful.”
He scratched his neck. “You don’t have to say that.”
“ Josh. You’re really good.”
He gave an awkward chuckle. “Well, don’t worry, I won’t quit my day job.”
She put a hand on his arm. “You’re going to wow them tomorrow. You have nothing to be nervous about. I want to come and hear
you sing.”
“What? No, it’s two hours away.”
“I don’t care.”
“ No. That’ll only make me more nervous.”
“But I’ve already heard you sing.”
“I don’t care. You’re not coming.”
She poked him in his ticklish spot. “Now who’s bossy?”
Lightning fast, he grabbed her foot.
“Not the foot!” she said through her laughter, trying to pull away. When that didn’t work, she went on the offense.
“Hey!” He jerked away. Dropped her foot. Leaned in, going for her ribs this time.
“Stop!” She fell back onto the sofa as his weight crashed down on her. “I’m too old for this!”
“You’re never too old to be tickled.”
“You’re so right.” She went for his ticklish spot again and found purchase.
He caught her arm and redoubled his efforts, making her laugh harder. His deep chuckle rumbled against her chest.
“We’re gonna wake Zoey!”
“Promise me you won’t go.”
She squirmed, breathless, batting his hands away even as he did the same. All the while laughing so hard she felt giddy.
He hit his target, making her squeal. “Promise, and I’ll stop.”
“All right, all right, I promise. Jeez.”
Instantly his hands paused. His eyes narrowed with suspicion as their breaths clashed in the space between them.
She was about to reissue her promise when something shifted almost imperceptibly in his eyes. His smile wilted slowly as his
eyes fastened on hers.
He was inches away and suddenly the mingling of their breaths seemed very intimate. The way he stared at her even more so.
Her eyes locked on his as if held by some imaginary force. The air crackled between them. Her heart threatened to burst from
her chest.
His gaze lowered to her mouth, making her lips tingle. He closed the gap between them slowly, eyes seeking permission.
Please, please, please was all she could think before her lids fluttered shut and her lips welcomed his. The soft brush of his kiss set off an earthquake
inside her. All focused on the epicenter of their lips. Moving in a way that gave rise to a tidal wave of sensations. The
gentle sweep of his touch. The sweet taste of his mouth. The low hum of her skin.
His fingers slid into her hair as his lips wreaked havoc on hers.
Feelings of affection bubbled to the surface. She palmed his neck and felt the racing thrum of his pulse. Even as want coursed
through her veins, unwelcome thoughts surged to the surface.
This was Josh. Her brother-in-law.
He was kissing her.
She was kissing him!
As if reading her mind he eased back, only inches away. Their eyes locked, ragged breaths tangling in the space between them.
The dimness hid his thoughts from her.
What had just happened?
Coolness rushed over her skin as he eased off her, moving to the far side of the love seat. Numb, she sat up and rested against
the sofa’s arm. How had that happened? One minute they were laughing and being their usual platonic selves, and the next...
Josh had been so sad lately. He’d just come through a traumatic divorce. It was normal to seek relief from that kind of heartache.
What was her excuse?
Josh cleared his throat, a crack of gunfire in the unsettling quiet. “We should, ah, probably talk about that.”
The low scrape of his voice made something flutter in her belly. She met his gaze across the length of the sofa. At once sorry
and relieved he was so far away. What was wrong with her?
“It’s okay,” she said. “I understand. You’ve been sad a long time, and this is your first Christmas without her. You’re lonely. It’s completely natural you’d want to feel something else—anything else.”
Josh stared at the Christmas tree as if mesmerized by the sight.
The warm, sweet memory of that kiss played back in her head. But she couldn’t let her thoughts go there. The reasons for it
were too confusing, too awful to contemplate. “And I—I miss Ethan.”
She’d just used Ethan’s death to justify a kiss with his brother. At the realization, her hands flash froze to blocks of ice.
What kind of person did that? The fairy lights took on a halo as tears filled her eyes.
***
Maggie’s last words sliced through Josh like a razor blade. All these years of self-control and he’d lost it over a tickle
match. How many times had he imagined what kissing Maggie might feel like? That’s what he got for entertaining the thought.
Maggie wasn’t ready to move on. He’d known that.
But he hadn’t imagined that come-hither look in her eyes, had he? Hadn’t imagined the way her lips responded so readily to
his. The way she’d rested her warm hand against his neck as if she wanted to jump right inside him.
She was thinking of Ethan, you idiot.
A fist tightened in his gut. He’d never been more jealous of his brother than he was right this minute—and that was saying
something. Sometimes it amazed him that he could hurt this much and still go on breathing.
But there was no time to deliberate the realities of heartbreak. He had to get it together and quick if he was going to salvage his relationship with Maggie. He couldn’t let one impulsive moment ruin things between them. At least she’d attributed his motive to loneliness. To longing for his ex-wife.
Oh, the irony.
But she still loved Ethan and was missing him. She was probably feeling guilty about kissing Josh. And that was on him. Bolstering
his courage, he turned and offered a smile.
The sight of a tear slipping down her cheek wiped the smile from his mouth. He reached across the sofa and took her hand.
“Hey, hey. This was all my fault. I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m lonely and it—it just happened. But it won’t happen again.
Please forgive me. You know what a dolt I am.”
She huffed a laugh. Then her chin quivered.
He scooted the length of the sofa and pulled her into his chest like he’d done a hundred times over the past two and a half
years. “Don’t, honey. You’re making me feel like a colossal jerk.”
“You are a jerk.”
He smiled against the top of her head. “Something we can both agree on.” He rubbed her arm. Wondered if she could feel his
heart wobbling painfully in his chest.
“I don’t want anything to change between us,” she whispered.
He closed his eyes, wishing he could shut out those words. Because he wanted everything to change between them. But if he
wanted Maggie to be happy, if he wanted her in his life at all, he had to jump on board this friends-only train. “Let’s just
forget it ever happened.”
“Agreed,” she said so quickly he flinched. But as she pulled back and peered up at him, she looked more like her usual self.
She set her palm against his cheek. “Someday you’ll find someone who makes you forget all about Samantha.”
He lifted his lips in a smile. “I know.”
He already had. Too bad she didn’t feel the same way.