Chapter 18
Cecilia
“What if I don’t like what they’ve done?” Cecilia parked the car outside the cottage and glanced at Seth. “I’ll end up keeping the place just to please my grandson.”
“Stop worrying.” He reached for her hand. “Let’s just look round and take it a step at a time.”
His steady, practical approach to everything was calming.
She glanced down at their hands. “These last few days have been—”
“I know.” He tightened his hand on hers. “Unexpected.”
“More than that. They’ve been a gift. I hadn’t realized how lonely I’d been feeling until I spent time with you. I was stuck in a place in my life with no idea how to move forward.”
“And now?”
She smiled. “I’m following your advice and taking it a step at a time.”
Still, she felt ridiculously nervous as they walked around to the front door of the cottage. She was nervous about the transformation, but mostly she was nervous about the fact that she was bringing Seth here. She was making their relationship public, and she wasn’t sure how that would be received by her family.
“Nanna!” Todd had clearly been watching for their arrival because he sprinted down the steps and scooped up her bags. “You’ve been shopping. That’s good.”
“You left me no choice. You told me to stay away while you finished the place, and I hadn’t packed anything.”
“You wouldn’t have wanted to be breathing in paint fumes and tripping over planks of wood. You must be Seth.” Todd gave Seth a warm smile and extended his hand. “Great to meet you. Come in and see the place. Lily is waiting to give you the tour.”
He was so easy with everyone, Cecilia thought. So comfortable and accepting. Her heart sank a little as she contemplated Kristen’s reaction to this latest development. She was unlikely to be so open to this new change in her mother’s life.
Still, that wasn’t today’s problem.
Todd seemed relaxed and for now that was all that mattered. She was pleased now that he’d come to check on her. There was no doubt that her life improved when he was around.
Lily appeared next to Todd. She was wearing a pair of cutoff denim shorts that showed off her long legs, a tiny hot pink top, and her hair was caught up in a ponytail. But what really caught Cecilia’s attention was the smile she exchanged with Todd. It was intimate and loving. Familiar.
She glanced at Seth, who winked at her and urged her up the steps to the door.
“You must be Lily, the artist.” He shook her hand. “I’m Seth, and I’d like to talk to you once you’ve given us this tour.”
Cecilia expected Lily to protest that she wasn’t an artist but instead she seemed to grow a little taller.
“Yes, I am an artist,” she said and glanced at Todd with a little smile, “although for the past few days I’ve been using my paintbrush on walls and woodwork.”
“I’m looking forward to seeing the results,” Seth said, and Cecilia agreed.
She could see how eager they were to show her what they’d done to the cottage, and she was determined to be a receptive audience.
“Lead on. Where are we starting?”
“In the living room, and we’ll work our way upstairs.” Todd opened the door and Cecilia took a breath.
She’d set her expectations low. Not because she didn’t trust Todd and Lily to do a good job, but because she didn’t trust her own emotional response. This place had once been an important part of her life with Cameron, and she didn’t think that a coat of paint and a few clever finds in a thrift store would make much difference to how she felt about the place.
The moment she stepped inside she realized she’d underestimated Todd and Lily.
Nothing was where it had been before. Nothing was the same.
The old hard sofa that Cameron had complained about had been replaced with a new, modern version. She could tell without even trying it that the deep cushions would be comfortable, that it would embrace the person choosing to sit on it rather than rejecting them. It was upholstered in cream and scattered with cushions in shades of green and blue.
“The sofa cover is washable,” Lily said, “before you think I lost my mind choosing cream.”
“It’s perfect. And so is the position.” Now the sofa faced the windows so that anyone sitting there could enjoy the spectacular view.
The large rug was new, but the coffee table was the same, which pleased her because she was the one who had found that table. She wondered how they’d known what to keep and what to discreetly remove.
But the major change in the room was the walls. What had once been a gallery of Cameron’s work until she’d destroyed it, was now floor-to-ceiling shelving that extended over the doorway that led to the kitchen. The shelves were white and displayed books and various objects that she’d collected over the years. A vase filled with shells, a piece of driftwood, a photo of her as a young woman that she couldn’t remember seeing before.
“This is spectacular.” She stepped closer and ran a finger along the shelves. “Todd? Did you build these?”
“I built them, Lily painted them.”
Lily stepped forward. “We chose white because we thought it was more adaptable. You can add pops of color with vases and candles.”
“It transforms the room. Don’t you agree, Seth?” She turned to look at him and found him staring at the one painting that remained in the room.
The Girl on the Shorehung on the wall above the fireplace, the soft colors drawing the eye and bringing the whole room together. It was as if the cottage had been designed around this one painting.
She hadn’t thought about Seth seeing it and suddenly she was anxious about what he might say.
“Let’s take a look at the kitchen.” She turned to walk through to the kitchen, but he caught her arm.
“Wait. That painting—”
“Let’s talk about it later.”
He seemed about to argue and then nodded slowly. “All right. If that’s what you want.”
“It is.”
“You don’t think it looks good there?” Lily glanced from them to the painting, suddenly doubtful. “I love it so much I thought it should stay right where it was. So did Todd. But maybe you don’t want a Cameron Lapthorne displayed with such prominence.”
“We can decide that later.” Cecilia moved quickly into the kitchen. She admired the newly painted cabinets and the blind that Lily had fitted above the back door, but her mind was back in the living room with the painting.
She should have destroyed it along with the others. She should have consigned it to the past.
And now Seth was watching her, and she knew why. He had questions, and she wasn’t sure how she was going to answer them.
She delayed the moment. “I can’t wait to see upstairs.”
She followed Todd and Lily right up to the top of the cottage.
Lily opened the door. “Todd has worked magic with storage space in here.”
“Lily was the brains behind it,” Todd said. “I just did as I was told.”
The room butted into the eaves and Cecilia saw instantly that the room had been transformed.
Lily gestured to the window seat. “You can sit on it and read while looking at the view, it also doubles as a bedding storage area—” she lifted the lid, proudly displaying neatly folded spare bedding “—and it can be used as an extra bed if needed. Isn’t he clever?” She beamed at Todd and Cecilia reflected that while some couples found it impossible to work together, that was clearly not true of Lily and Todd.
Her fondness for her granddaughter’s friend was growing by the day.
“It’s perfect. Charming.”
The second bedroom was equally charming, with Lily’s newly restored bookshelf taking pride of place under the window.
“We’ve saved the best for last.” Lily looked visibly nervous as she stood in front of the closed door of the master bedroom. “Are you ready?”
She’d never be ready.
She’d been dreading this moment. Even though she’d forgotten many things over the decades, the image that had confronted her when she’d opened the door so many years ago had stayed with her.
But Lily was so hopeful and optimistic, and she’d tried so hard to make everything feel different for Cecilia that she pushed past her own reticence.
What did it matter? It was all so long ago. And she wasn’t doing this for herself, she was doing it for Lily and for Todd. There was no limit to what you could do when you loved someone.
She stepped into the room expecting ghosts and memories and for a moment felt disorientated because this wasn’t the room she remembered.
The colors and textures were inspired by the ocean and the natural world, but the design was fresh and contemporary. The pale blue paint scheme that she and Cameron had chosen had gone, and now the room had white shiplap walls, a seagrass rug and glass lamps that reflected the light.
“We tried hard to make it different—” Lily was watching her every reaction, her anxiety palpable “—we bought a new bed. And moved it.”
“I can see that.” Instead of being tucked under the window, the bed now faced the balcony. The old bed had a heavy oak frame and striped linens faded from too much washing.
The new bed had a simple white rattan headboard, and the bed itself had been dressed in fresh white linens and stacked with pillows in toning shades of washed green and blue. Draped across the bottom was a pale sea green throw, perfect for cooler evenings.
The doors to the balcony were open, flooding the room with sea air and light, and offering far-reaching views across the dunes and the ocean.
Cecilia felt an instant sense of calm, and also relief, as if she’d been set free.
There were no ghosts here. No bad memories. Nothing at all to remind her of the past. The room was so tranquil and welcoming she immediately wanted to move all her things from the second bedroom to this one.
“I can’t believe it.” She touched one of the walls, running her hand over the line of the wood. “You did this?”
“Just on the one wall,” Todd said. “We thought it added texture and a slightly ‘beachier’ feel.”
She never would have thought of doing that. She never would have thought that a room could be transformed the way they’d transformed this one.
There were bookshelves on either side of the bed, and they doubled as nightstands complete with reading lights.
Cecilia nodded her approval. “Clever idea.”
“We wanted to maximize use of space. The room isn’t that big. Everything has to work twice as hard.”
“You can enjoy the view while you’re lying in bed,” Lily said. “I never understood why the bed was facing the wall before.”
Because in the beginning, she and Cameron hadn’t cared which direction the bed was facing.
She smiled as she remembered. There had been good times. Many of them.
Todd was watching her. “Take a closer look at the walls, Nanna.”
What had she missed? She’d thought the walls were plain white, and only now did she see the small seashells, hand-painted in a creamy pearlescent shade that caught the light. Each seashell was subtle and exquisitely beautiful.
“Todd! You did this?”
He laughed. “I’m flattered that you think I have those skills. Sadly, I don’t. This is Lily’s work.”
Cecilia stepped closer and traced one lightly with her finger. “It’s beautiful. Did you do this freehand or use a stencil?”
“She did it freehand,” Todd said, and Cecilia heard the pride in his voice.
“Which is the reason some of the seashells are different sizes. And it’s not all shells—” Lily pointed to a spot above the bed. “There is the occasional seahorse, too. And a dolphin or two. I did sneak a killer whale in near the bathroom. I’ve never done anything like this before. It was fun.”
Seth took a closer look. “This is extraordinary. I’m going to hire you to redecorate the room my grandchildren use when they stay with me. Gemma is obsessed with starfish. Could you do a starfish?”
“She can do anything. You see?” Todd gave Lily a triumphant look. “I told her she’d be booked up for the rest of the year once word gets out.” He put his arm round her, not bothering to hide his feelings.
Cecilia glanced from her grandson’s face to Lily, who was all smiles and flushed happiness.
“I wouldn’t complain about that. We’ve had the best time doing this.”
“You’ve both worked so hard.”
She had no idea what had happened between the two of them during the few nights she’d been staying at Seth’s, but it was clear that it wasn’t just her cottage that had undergone a change.
“What do you think?” Lily was nibbling the corner of her nails. “Does the place make you feel calm and happy?”
“I think you’ve done an incredible job.” She walked to the balcony and gazed across the dunes to the ocean. She remembered spending hours on that beach with Cameron, and before that with her friends. And with Seth.
Seth.
She’d only been back in the cottage for a short time and yet everything had changed. She’d felt trapped, like a butterfly in a net, not knowing what to do next.
But now she knew. She knew how she was going to move her life into the next phase. And knowing had freed her.
“Nanna?” Todd stood next to her, waiting, and she reached out and hugged him.
“Thank you,” she said. “Thank you to both you and Lily.”
“It was our pleasure. Come out on the deck and have breakfast.” Todd stepped back into the bedroom. “There’s freshly squeezed orange juice and pastries. I was in the bakery the moment it opened this morning, and I may have overdone the quantity. I hope you’re hungry.”
Cecilia was about to agree that breakfast sounded like an excellent suggestion when her phone rang.
She checked the caller display and felt a flicker of surprise. She answered it immediately. “Kristen?”
“M-Mom?”
Cecilia heard something in her voice and felt anxiety tighten in her stomach. She gestured to the others to go downstairs without her and waited until they’d left the room. “What’s wrong? Has something happened?” She closed the doors onto the balcony so that her voice wouldn’t carry outside.
“I’ve left Theo.”
Cecilia closed her eyes briefly. So she hadn’t been catastrophizing. They really were having problems. Where did Jeff fit into this? Why hadn’t she asked Kristen about it? She should have found a way to offer support. She hadn’t helped, but she could help now. And underneath her maternal anxiety was a feeling of relief and satisfaction that Kristen had chosen to call her.
It felt like a second chance, and she was determined not to waste it.
“You’re upset. Are you driving? You shouldn’t be driving.”
“I’m not driving right now. I stopped because I needed coffee.”
“Where are you?”
“I don’t know. Brewster, I think. I decided that if the Cape could heal you, maybe it could heal me, too. I slept in my car last night.”
“In your car? Kristen!” Her anxiety deepened. “Why didn’t you check into a hotel? Or call me sooner?”
“Because it was already two in the morning when I got into my car. I didn’t have the energy and I didn’t want people to see me like this. Can I come and see you now? I’d really like to talk. I know you’re upset with me, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I threw a party that you didn’t really want.” Kristen’s voice thickened again. “It was selfish and thoughtless of me, and I feel terrible that you felt you had to run away.”
“Oh, Kristen—” Emotion settled like a lead weight in her chest. “You weren’t the reason I left, and you have nothing to apologize for. I’m the one who should be apologizing.” She felt choked. “I’ll explain everything when I see you. But you can’t drive. It isn’t safe. Stay right where you are. I’ll come and get you.”
“No, I’m okay to drive, honestly. I’ve had coffee and the fresh air is helping. Where are you?”
Cecilia gave her the address without hesitation. “We’ll see you soon.”
“We?”
Cecilia thought about all the things that had happened since the party. “It’s complicated. I’ll explain everything when you get here. Drive carefully.”
She ended the call and headed down the stairs to the kitchen where Todd was stacking a tray with mugs and plates while deep in conversation with Seth.
They seemed to be getting on well, and she was about to throw another complication into the mix.
“How many pastries did you buy? Because we have an extra person joining us for breakfast.” And only now did she realize how potentially awkward this was. Kristen was in the middle of a marital crisis and was coming to her for sanctuary and comfort.
Presumably Kristen hadn’t yet told her children that she’d left Theo. Maybe she didn’t intend to.
But Todd was standing right in front of her.
“Your mother is joining us,” she said carefully, and Todd gave her a curious look.
“You told her about this place?”
“I gave her the address. I’ll tell her the rest when she arrives. I’ve had enough of secrets.” Her own, at least. Kristen’s secrets weren’t hers to tell. “Let’s make another pot of coffee. Make it a large one.”
“Is my father coming, too?”
Cecilia added napkins and cutlery to the tray. “I don’t believe so.”
She’d leave that explanation to Kristen.
In the end Kristen was so pleased to see her son she didn’t seem too interested in his reason for being there.
“I was doing a job nearby,” was all he said, and Kristen accepted that without question, and greeted Lily warmly.
“Does Hannah know you’re here?”
“No.” Lily exchanged glances with Todd. “But I’m going to tell her. I’m going to message her soon. I should have done it before now.”
Cecilia braced herself. “And this is Seth, an old friend.”
She held her breath as Seth shook hands with her daughter.
Kristen looked more than a little dazed. “You have quite a little gathering.” She looked uncertainly at her mother and Cecilia walked toward her and gave her a hug. Not a perfunctory polite hug between two relatives, but a tight, comforting hug.
She wondered if Kristen might push her away, but she didn’t. Instead she hugged Cecilia back, almost clinging to her.
When had they last hugged like this? When had they ever hugged like this?
“It’s good to see you.” Kristen sniffed and stepped back. “Thank you for allowing me to come.”
“I’m glad you’re here.” Cecilia had to keep her own emotions in check. She released her daughter and took a closer look at her face.
Kristen gave a crooked smile and tried to smooth her hair. “I’m sure I look terrible.”
“No, but you do look tired.” And she could feel the misery coming off her in waves. “I’m worried about you. Come and sit down. You’re just in time for breakfast.”
If Kristen was delighted to have left Theo, it didn’t show. Her eyes were shadowed, and she looked exhausted.
“Is Dad joining you, Mom?” Todd picked up Kristen’s suitcases.
“No. He has to work. I’m having a few days to myself.”
And that was what parents did, Cecilia thought. They hid their pain from their children. Protected them. But maybe there came a point where it was better to share than to shut them out. A time when it was better to tell the truth.
Kristen forced a smile. “Is there somewhere I can freshen up?”
“Of course. Let me show you around before we eat.” Cecilia gestured to the front door of the cottage but Kristen stopped and stared at the name, freshly painted by Lily on a piece of wood fashioned by Todd.
“Dune Cottage,” she said slowly. “This is the place you used to come to with Dad. When Winston and I were little. You spent weekends here.”
Cecilia was taken aback. “You know about this place?”
“Not specifics. You were always secretive about it, which made me all the more curious. Whenever I asked Dad where you’d been, he’d always say ‘paradise.’ He said that you stayed in a cottage that perched on the edge of the dunes, with nothing but sand between you and the ocean. He told me that each bedroom had a balcony.” She glanced upward, to the balconies and the shingled roof. “I assumed it was somewhere you rented. You own it?”
Cecilia realized how much she had to share with her daughter. “I thought your father had sold it long ago. I only found out recently that he hadn’t.”
Cecilia gave her a summary of everything that had happened and Kristen shook her head, confused.
“Why would he pretend he’d sold it?”
“Because he knew I wanted him to sell it.”
Kristen didn’t ask for her reasons for that. “But he kept it.”
“Yes. It was a shock to discover that.” She expected Kristen to defend her father as she always did and was surprised when her daughter took her hand.
“I don’t understand any of it, but it doesn’t matter.” Kristen squeezed her hand and let go. “So, you’ve been renovating?”
“That was Todd and Lily’s idea. I found it hard being here. They thought that a makeover might get rid of the memories.” The moment the words left her lips she knew she’d misspoken. “I’m sorry—I know you find it difficult that I—”
“No, don’t apologize.” Kristen touched Cecilia’s arm. “Whatever you need to do is fine with me. I feel bad that I didn’t know. That you felt you couldn’t tell me. I should have talked to you more and been more understanding.”
This was a humbler, softer version of Kristen. It was as if this seismic event in her marriage had shaken the foundations of who she was and made her question everything.
They stepped inside and Kristen glanced around her.
“This is a beautiful room. Those shelves. I recognize Todd’s work.” She scanned the space and then stopped, her gaze fixed on the painting. “The Girl on the Shore.” She said it quietly, as if she was talking to herself. Then she moved toward it and examined it closely. “This is it. This is the painting everyone has been asking about.”
Cecilia stood quietly. This moment had been inevitable of course. And now it was here, the sense of dread left her, and she felt only relief. She wouldn’t be able to move on until the whole of the past was cleaned up and this was the last remaining piece.
“Yes. It’s The Girl on the Shore.”
Kristen turned to look at her, questions in her eyes. “The day of the party—you said you thought it had been destroyed long ago.”
“I did think that. I thought your father had destroyed it. He was supposed to.”
“But why would he? It’s stunning.” Kristen studied the painting. She appeared to have forgotten that she’d intended to freshen up. She’d forgotten that she was tired, and sad. She appeared to have forgotten about Theo. It was all about the painting. “The brushwork. The use of color and light. It’s extraordinary.” She pressed her hand to her chest as if she was having trouble breathing. “All these years, it was here?”
“Apparently so.”
Kristen rubbed her hands over her arms and turned back to Cecilia.
“When you discovered it, why didn’t you call me? Do you have any idea of the value? People have been asking.”
“You mean Jeff,” Cecilia said flatly. “Jeff has been asking.”
Kristen’s eyes widened and streaks of pink touched her cheeks. “What do you know about Jeff?”
“I know he has an extraordinary interest in this particular painting.”
“Is that surprising? Its value must be huge.”
“That isn’t why he’s interested. And no one outside this family is ever to know the painting is here, particularly not Jeff.”
Kristen shook her head, trying to clear it. “You have so many of Dad’s paintings that you display openly. What’s different about this one? If it’s from early in his career, then it has both interest and value. Why wouldn’t you want to share that with the world?”
Cecilia stared at the painting. She didn’t know where to start.
“I think I can answer that question.” Seth spoke quietly. “The reason your mother doesn’t want this painting out in the world is because it wasn’t painted by your father. It isn’t a Cameron Lapthorne.”
Kristen glanced at him with a frown. “Of course it is. Granted, it isn’t his usual style, but it’s an early work.” She pointed to the initials. “CL.”
Cecilia felt Seth’s arm settle around her shoulders.
“In this case CL isn’t Cameron Lapthorne.”
“But—”
“It’s Cecilia Lapthorne,” Seth said. “The Girl on the Shore wasn’t painted by your father. It was painted by your mother.”