Chapter 9
Lila’s head swam. It felt heavy and clouded and—
She jumped up, despite the pain. When her eyes finally adjusted, she saw she was back in her room—her cell—in the Viper Morada. Again. Morning had come and based on the limited light in the room, it seemed it was around noon. She was lying in her bed, under the covers . . . almost as if nothing had happened.
When she reached up to her lips, the blood had been cleaned, but the two small puncture wounds were faintly there.
Lila was still shaking. All the fear from her night coiled inside of her and she couldn’t stop. As she pulled the blanket closer, she tried to remind herself of another night her fear nearly got the better of her.
Ambrose’s large wings cocooned her in the Arachnid Estate the night before Sanktus Pernox. He held her till she stopped crying, till her limbs weren’t shaking. She had been so warm then. So comfortable. So . . . happy.
Lila felt her heart pang at the thought of him. Yes she just saw him, but it wasn’t enough. She just missed him so much. She longed to see his face, to hear that low, golden voice—especially now. To hear him laugh. To hear him moan her name. Lords, she loved making him moan. Loved making the monster of Malvania simper with need for her.
She kicked her legs and groaned.
She just wanted to be wrapped up in his arms, safe.
They had just professed their love for one another, and they couldn’t even use their own voices to do so.
“I love you, Ambrose. I love you, I love you, I love you.” There. At least now it was out in the world and not just festering in her mind.
She tried to shut her eyes again, tried to go back to sleep to ignore her wants and fears. But after a few moments, she was still wide awake and her heart still ached. Her lips had been tainted by another and it hurt her very being to think of it.
Every time her eyes closed, she saw Hektor there, against her. Kissing her. Trying to take her.
But she wouldn’t let him. She already belonged to another—body, soul, and heart.
Lila needed comfort. She needed distraction. If not, she feared she may just combust. If her shaking limbs were any sign, it seemed like she was nearly at a breaking point.
Maybe . . . maybe she just needed to talk to Ambrose. See if he was awake by some chance.
There had been many days like these in her three months. Days when she almost gave up her quest to prove herself. Days she almost begged him to come get her. Those days were harder than most—and much more frequent than she’d ever admit. But on those days, she’d been able to call to him, and he had been there, in her mind, and though it didn’t quite quench her thirst, it did what it needed to.
Ambrose?Are you awake?
Moments ticked by. It had to be nearing the afternoon. He was probably asleep.
Yes, Little Crow? The voice in Lila’s mind was thick. It sounded like he’d just woken up. And then, more urgently, Why are you awake? Are you okay?
Yes, yes. I’m fine, she thought quickly.
And you’re awake because?
Lila blushed, hesitating. This damned vampire drove her to utopia with his tongue on her clit, yet she still felt embarrassed telling him how she felt. Not to mention, she didn’t want to tell him about her horrible night.
Not her town, not Rebekkah’s confinement, not Drusilla, not Ciro, and definitely not Hektor. If she had, she didn’t think Ambrose would be able to stop himself from coming to steal her.
It didn’t matter that her eyes were still stained from the bloodshed she saw.
It didn’t matter that she still felt Hektor’s touch on her skin.
What mattered was him.
Because . . . I miss you.
She heard his chuckle tickle her mind. And do you know how absolutely mad I’m being driven waiting for you? Lords, Lila. I miss you. You’re all I think about.
Lila smiled and suddenly felt warm all over. I want to go to you. I want to go home.
Do you mean that? Or are you lamenting again?
She hesitated. Both. I do want to go home. But not yet. I just—
I know, love. I know.
There was a heavy silence. She still felt him there, somehow. But neither said anything.
I have an idea, Ambrose mused. Lila heard his coy smile and it sent shivers down her body.
Yes?
You’re all alone, correct?
Mhm. In my room.
Tell me, love. Do you want a distraction from thinking?
The damn vampire knew her too well. Even when he couldn’t read her emotions with his powers, he still somehow read her as though she were an open book.
Desperately.
He chuckled, the hum of his laugh trailing down to her core. I want you to take those pretty hands of yours and play with your nipples.
Really?
No questions, darling. Do as I say. You’re going to be a good girl, right?
Lila blushed. Yes. I’ll be a good girl.
She dragged her hands up her body, feeling the thin fabric roll under her skin. How she wished she could have worn this for Ambrose. He would love it moments before he tore it off of her. She would love to pad around in the Crow Court for him. Love to tease him endlessly with the slip of a nipple, the curve of her ass, every time he saw her.
But the idea had been tainted. This dress was like a shackle to hell.
Are your hands there? Ambrose asked. His voice did funny things to her stomach and though she wasn’t physically hearing it, it still had the same effect.
Yes. She groped herself, squeezing and pulling how she knew Ambrose liked. She fiddled with one nipple between her fingers before pulling on it roughly.
Mmm. Good. Now—
Wait. What are you doing with your hands?
Ambrose choked. What do you mean?
If I’m doing this, you have to also. I want you to touch yourself, Ambrose Draven, to the thought of me.
Darling, he scoffed. I have done that every night since you’ve been gone. Sometimes, I don’t leave my room because the thought of you is all consuming.
Lila warmed, feeling a familiar wave of heat centralize between her thighs. However, it was stronger than ever before, hotter, tingly, and more intensifying. She felt like lava coming to life. You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to touch myself. How much I’ve wanted to think of you and just . . . but the Reinicks. If they found out, they’d—
You don’t have to explain, darling. I would rather you be safe than horny.
Lila giggled. He knew how to lighten her mood so easily.
Well, you want control? Tell me, love. What should I do to myself?
Lila grabbed her breast hard, squeezing it to the point it turned a shade reminiscent of her hair. I want you to grab your cock and think of my mouth on it. Remember how my tongue felt as it glided up your shaft. How it felt when I sucked down your head.
Lords. Remind me to make you talk dirty next time I see you.
Stroke. Now.
Lila, he pleaded. She could imagine the red glowing in his eyes, his cheeks hot to the touch with desire as he watched her touch herself. But she knew he was doing it.
When his voice returned, it was hoarse. Leave one hand teasing your nipple but drag the other slowly down your body. Slowly. She did as he told her. Her nails grazed against the plain of her stomach as her other hand pulled and toyed with her hard nipple. Tell me when you’re there.
With the apex of her thighs exposed, Lila thought back, Ready.
Good girl. Now take those fingers and run it through the soft, warm folds of your pussy. As he said these things to her, Ambrose’s voice became more and more rushed. Desperate. Are you wet, Little Crow?
Mhm. Ah—Ambrose. Let me—
Not yet. Tell me how wet you are.
Lila hesitated, she hadn’t realized how turned on she had become. Her body acted as though it were starved for him, and now it was reacting so quickly. M-my fingers are slick.
Do you feel yourself dripping?
She let herself feel her body. Yes. Ambrose—please.
Please what, love?
Let me touch myself.
Ambrose groaned into her mind. Fuck. Okay. I want you to stick your middle finger inside.
Lila moaned into her pillow, muffling the sound, as she drove her finger inside herself.
How warm is it?
Lords, it’s so hot.
What I’d give to be buried inside of you right now. Ambrose sounded desperate, his voice shaking.
You have yet to know that heat, Lord Draven, she teased, knowing just how wild it’d drive him.
Fuck, I need to feel you.
Are you still stroking? she asked.
Yes.
I want you to think of how hot and wet I’d feel on your cock. I want you to feel me riding you. To feel yourself inside of me.
Fuck, Lila. He paused for a moment, then, Slip another finger in.
She did and immediately moaned his name, curving her fingers to hit the exact spot she liked.
Get your fingers nice and wet for me, love. And when you’re good and ready, take them and draw circles on your clit.
Lila yelped as she did so, rocking against her own hand as her damp fingers pressed against the bud between her thighs. The pressure was insane and it made her rock her hips farther against her.
I’m turning over. She turned, laying on her stomach and used the bed as leverage for her hand. The farther down she pushed, the more beautiful pressure on her clit. Ambrose, I’m close.
So am I, love. Tell me what else you want me to do.
I want you to think of my hand as yours, and your hand as mine. I want you to think of me stroking that huge cock of yours, and your fingers to be the ones circling my clit.
Fuck, yes.
Squeeze harder, Ambrose.
Ah—Lila. Rub your clit, baby.
Lila did. She swirled quicker and harder, feeling herself on the edge of a precipice she hadn’t felt in three long months. She bucked into the mattress below her. Ambrose!
Love,she heard the smile in his voice before she even heard the words, I want you to stop.
What?Her fingers hesitated, confused.
I want you to grab the stake I gave to you. Is it near?
The stake? Lila slipped her fingers from her core and raised herself on her elbows. Why do you want me to grab that?
He snickered again. You’ll see. Do you have it yet?
She reached under the mattress of her bed and pulled the wooden weapon from its hiding place within the hay. The wood was smooth in her palm, the design mesmerizing her just as much as it had the first time she saw it.
This weapon had been Ambrose’s once upon a time, and then he gave it to her. She felt her strength tied to this weapon, her very being.
I have it, she said, having the slightest of inclinations as to where this was going and flipping back over on her back.
The smile was still in his voice, I want you to take it between your thighs and grind the pretty little clit against it for me.
Though she had the feeling, his words still shook her, still made her toes curl. Her immediate thought led to splinters in the worst place ever—but she knew Ambrose’s craftsmanship was better than that. The weapon had been waxed and sealed, and was as smooth as her own skin. Probably.
Lila?he questioned. Are you doing as I say?
She tentatively placed the handle of the stake between her thighs.
Yes. It-it’s there.
Good, darling. Now, I want you to move those hips. Move them like you were grinding against my cock.
A wave of heat spread through Lila’s body and she swore she felt even wetter than before. She slowly rocked her hips, grinding the weapon between her thighs.
Her clit rubbed against the corner of the handle in the perfect way and Lila let slip a moan into the room.
Fuck, it’s good.
I knew you’d like it, Ambrose said. When you’re good and ready, I want you to go faster.
Lila waited a moment, savoring the slow, torturous friction against her, and then she did as she was told.
Ah! Ambrose—It’s so . . . she trailed off, too encompassed by the feeling building inside of her.
You’re such a good girl, you’re taking my orders so well.
The praise sent what felt like another shock wave to her system. She rocked against the stake, feeling it press against the bud growing more and more sensitive once again.
Will you take my cock this well?
Ambrose, your mouth—my lords.
She once again heard the smirk in his hoarse voice. Last I checked, you loved my mouth. Especially when it was feasting on you under the stars.
Lila moaned once again at the memory.
I want you to try something for me, he said.
Lila didn’t hesitate. She knew she’d like whatever he’d ask of her. Anything.
I want you to press the stake into you. Not all the way, but I want you to feel as though I were about to fuck you senseless.
Her back arched as she dipped the stake lower, immediately following his orders. She pressed it to her core, swirling the edges of it at her entrance. She held the sharp end in her palm, and rocked against the wood, letting it drive into her just a little bit farther each time.
Do you remember my cock at your entrance that morning?
Lila felt her entire body heat, her cheeks felt like they were on fire. She thought the stake might catch fire if she got any hotter.
I can’t stop thinking about it, she admitted. How close we were.
Imagine how I feel. I got the briefest glimpse of heaven before it was yanked away from me. Lords, you were so fucking hot and tight. I can’t wait to pick up where we left off.
Lila dipped the stake just a tiny bit farther, bucking against it as her clit rubbed against the edge.
Ambrose, I want you to fuck me till I forget everything. I want you to take me and never let go.
Darling, I can promise you, even if you want me to let go, I never could. Once I have you, I won’t ever stop. You may get sick of me, but I will keep going. I will make you orgasm till your body gives out, and then I will give you more.
She imagined what he promised her, and it made the heat coil in her belly. Her toes curled and her body shook violently.
Fuck. Yes. Rub your cock, Ambrose. I want you to fill me with your cum until my body is just as much you as it is me.
She felt him with her, right on the edge, ready to dive over.
Fuck, Lila. I love you.
And that was what did her in. She came on her stake—his stake—as he said those three words that made her heart full, feeling her slick wetness.
Her entire body felt like it was vibrating and as she pulled the stake away, it was hot to the touch.
Heavy breathing filled her mind. Lila? His voice was so hoarse and Lila just couldn’t get enough of it. Did you finish?
She had a hard time even thinking of words. Yes.
Her nipples were sore from how much she pulled on them, her clit throbbed, her entrance was slightly sore, and she still shook from the euphoria. Did you?
Lords, yes. And I made a proper mess in my coffin thanks to you, he chuckled.
She giggled then wiped the stake off on the edge of the bed sheets and tucked it back into its hiding place.
As she rolled back on her side, she said, Can you stay with me today? Keep the Concord up?
A beat passed and Ambrose’s tender voice filled her mind. Of course, love. I’d like nothing more.
Lila smiled to herself. She knew she could rely on him, no matter what the situation, no matter what emotion she needed from him—he was there for her.
She cuddled into the thin blanket and stared at the wall, picturing him there next to her. I’d like to pretend . . . that I’m with you. At home. I want to pretend it hasn’t been three months, or that the other day was the first I’d seen your face since. I want to pretend I’m not at the Morada and that we’re not apart, but together. In the same room, the same bed. Under the same blanket—preferably under your wing.
She heard him snicker. We can do that. Though, as I think I’ve made clear, if you were here we would be doing anything but sleeping.
You rake. You just had me coming at the thought of you and you’re already having dirty thoughts again?
Darling, when it comes to you, every thought I have is dirty.
Lila blushed and snickered into the blanket. Well, after we have the most mind-blowing sex imaginable—
I like where this is going already, Ambrose cooed.
I’d make a small burrow for myself right in your arms and never leave.
And I’d hold you like my very undead life depended on it. You’d be so warm pressed against me.
So warm, we wouldn’t even need blankets. Just each other . . . and wings, she giggled. We’re going to need a coffin big enough to fit your monstrous form and me.
Darling, I had one made within a week of your departure. I haven’t slept in it yet. I’m waiting till our first day together again.
Lila’s heart fluttered in her chest, but not even a moment later, a pang shot through her as well. Lords, she missed him. She missed being with him. And more and more, she was feeling like she’d made a huge mistake by coming to the Morada for her “redemption.” She knew sowing the discord between Ciro and Hektor was working. But at what cost? We’re pretending I’m already back, remember?
Ah, of course. Then I’m sure we’ve already sullied our new coffin and will shortly need a new-new one.
Of course, of course. I’m in it now. As soon as the words left Lila’s mind, she truly did feel heavy with sleep. Her eyelids had already closed, and as she cuddled into the blanket—pretending it was Ambrose—she felt like sleep just might take her.
If we were in it, I would kiss your cheek, your eyelids, your forehead. I would shower you with kisses until you fell asleep. I would whisper my confession of love like a lullaby.
Interest peaked, Lila mumbled back, Why don’t you?
She heard a breath of laughter. All right, get ready to fall in love all over again.