EPILOGUE
It was a swelteringly hot day in June. The first weekend in a while when wall-to-wall sunshine and unbroken blue skies had been predicted across the whole of the UK.
Skye had invited us to the cabin for the day, Ada, Rori and me, but it had felt a little awkward. We were stepping around each other politely and laughing far too loudly every time someone made anything approximating a joke.
In theory, we were there to make the most of the peaceful setting and the cool river and the welcome shade of the trees – but in reality, it seemed more of a chance to start mending family bonds that had been very much tested in recent weeks.
I wandered away into the trees at one point to phone Billy. He’d promised to cook dinner for me later, when I got back.
‘How is it?’ he asked rather tentatively.
I groaned. ‘A bit tense. We’re all being ever so polite with each other.’
‘Better that than at one another’s throats! I suppose you have to start somewhere.’
‘I guess so. Have you been to see your dad?’ He’d told me he’d be calling in with a card and a present for his dad before heading off to the supermarket.
‘Yep.’ He hesitated. ‘What about yours?’
‘My what?’ I snapped.
‘You know what I’m saying.’
I sighed. ‘I know what you’re saying, Billy. But as I keep telling you, it just doesn’t feel natural. Gary was a friend. You know? And it’s such a huge leap from seeing him as a mate to thinking of him as my dad! I mean, how do I do it? I really don’t know.’
‘Well, again . . . you have to start somewhere.’
Tears sprang to my eyes. ‘It’s all very well for you to say that. But you’re not me!’
‘Look, I know I’m not.’ Billy’s tone was so gentle, which just made me feel more emotional than ever. ‘And naturally, it has to be up to you... when you decide to let him into your life.’
‘If I ever do!’
‘Yes. Exactly. If you ever do. Your decision, Blossom. No one else’s.’
I sighed. ‘He hasn’t been in touch since that day at the hospital. I thought he would have been, but I think maybe he’s just stepping back and giving me time to adjust.’
‘He seems like a very wise man.’
‘He is.’
‘Look, whatever happens, I’m here for you, okay?’
I swallowed. ‘Okay.’
‘So I’ll see you later?’
‘Of course. I wish you could join us here, Billy. You’d bring some genuine fun and liven up the proceedings.’
It was Billy’s turn to groan. ‘No, no, no. Couldn’t take the pressure.’
I laughed and returned to the cabin to find everyone changing into swimwear for another dip in the river’s natural pool.
‘Anyway, I’ve got some news,’ said Ada, as we made our way through the trees to the river.
‘News?’ asked Rori.
We dropped our towels on the riverbank and started wading into the shockingly cold water, prompting shrieks of delighted horror.
‘So, come on, then, Ada,’ said Skye, as we ducked our shoulders under the water and bounced up and down. ‘What’s this news?’
‘Well... Geoffrey’s been in touch. He wants to see me. He says he’s missed me and he wants us to try again.’
‘That’s great.’ I smiled, thinking of my chat with Geoffrey on Sunnybrook High Street the day before. I’d told him just how much Ada had been missing him and how I thought she’d mellowed in the months since they’d split.
‘I had a feeling he wouldn’t be able to stay away forever,’ said Rori, looking pleased.
‘High five!’ Skye reached out and Ada obliged with a flushed face. She was trying hard to be cool about it but in the end, she couldn’t help a delighted smile breaking through.
Skye grinned. ‘You know, I used to hate people who high-fived each other. So common! But Saul does it all the time.’
‘You used to hate a lot of things until you met Saul,’ smiled Rori.
‘I suppose I did. I feel much more... relaxed and free to be myself now. I’m so lucky to have met him.’ Smiling, she slid backwards into the water and floated like a starfish on her back.
‘I feel like I’ve known Kurt forever,’ said Rori. ‘We just seemed to gel almost as soon as we met.’ She gave a blissed-out sigh. ‘I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it now.’
I grinned at her. ‘That’s so romantic.’
‘It has to be a first,’ pointed out Ada happily. ‘All my daughters in love at exactly the same time – and with decent men as well!’
She glanced at me and her face fell. ‘I mean... well, you know what I mean,’ she muttered, turning and swimming away from us.
During the awkward silence that followed, I exchanged a tense look with Skye and Rori. With one casual comment by Ada, mentioning the ‘daughter’ word, the fragile bond between us was in danger of fracturing again. Was it always going to be like this?
I flopped onto my back and floated for a while, staring up into the endless blue yonder. As humans, we were just tiny specks in this infinitesimal universe. Life itself was brief in the grand scale of things – and so precious because of that.
Family was precious.
It was up to me to make things better...
‘We’re all lucky, really,’ I said, standing up and smiling over at Ada. ‘I’m so looking forward to seeing Geoffrey again.’
Ada swam back over, a nervously hopeful look on her face that softened my heart. She’d been my mum my whole life. She still was... and that would never change.
‘I think I’m the luckiest of all of you,’ I said with a little smile.
‘How’s that, then?’ demanded Skye, pretending to be offended. ‘I mean, Billy’s lovely and everything, but...’
‘I didn’t mean that. I meant... well, I’m lucky because I’ve got not one but two mums!’
In the electric hush that descended, all you could hear was the splash and gurgle of the river. I looked at Rori and she had tears in her eyes as she waded towards me.
I saw Ada and Skye glance at each other, and the emotion in their faces made my heart swell with hope and happiness.
It was going to be all right . . .
Rori was hugging me, and I held out both my arms to draw in Skye and Ada. And we stood there for a long time as the water glugged around us. I’d rarely seen Ada crying, but she was sobbing as if her heart would break.
‘Love you,’ she gasped.
‘Love you, too. All of you.’
We drew back, laughing at our soggy faces.
‘Mind you, it’s going to be a bugger on Mother’s Day,’ I joked. ‘Two cards and two gifts! I just hope the gardening business is thriving by then so I can afford the expense.’
Then we were all smiling at each other and Skye dipped her arms in the river and hurled water into the air so that the falling droplets glinted like diamonds in the sunshine and soaked us all.
The last remnants of tension between us drifted away, carried off on the flowing river along with the sound of our laughter...
*****
On the way to Billy’s later, a diversion took me past Argent’s Garden Centre, and I saw Gary pushing a row of trolleys towards the entrance.
He looked sad, as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, and emotion tugged at my heartstrings, thinking of everything he’d been through in his life. He’d be locking up the building in half an hour, closing time, then driving back to his flat for an evening alone.
I drove on and when I got to Billy’s, he let me in and I ran up the stairs to his flat. Seeing my face, he drew me into a hug and let me sob on his shoulder.
‘Oh, Blossom. Was it that bad?’ he murmured, stroking my hair.
‘No. It was good!’ I gasped.
‘Yeah?’ He pulled away gently. ‘So why the tears?’
I laughed and dashed them away. ‘It was just such an emotional day at the cabin. But I think we’re all right. In fact, I know we are.’
‘Brilliant!’
I sniffed. ‘Sorry for soaking your T-shirt.’
‘Any time.’ He grinned. ‘Come in and I’ll dry off and pour you a glass of wine.’
‘That would be lovely. But I’ve just got... one thing I need to do.’
‘Oh. Okay.’
‘I’ll explain when I get back. I won’t be long.’
He nodded, looking bemused, and I ran back down the stairs and out to the car.
When I got to the garden centre, Gary was just locking up, but he turned and saw me getting out of the car. I was too far away to see the look on his face but he stayed where he was, and I could sense his uncertainty.
How had he been feeling since that day in the hospital? He’d come to see me, so happy to have found out he had a daughter, but in my confusion, I’d sent him away.
My heart was breaking for him now.
I started walking towards him and when I got close enough, I saw his neutral expression. He was unsure about why I was there, not wanting to welcome me in case I was still angry at him.
‘I know I said a lot of things at the hospital that day,’ I called, hurrying closer. ‘But there’s just one thing I want to say to you today.’
He straightened up and nodded, as if he was bracing himself for more rejection.
I stopped in front of him and my face melted into a tender smile. ‘Happy Father’s Day.’
A look of amazement crossed his face and we both laughed.
Then I saw the happy tears in his eyes.
‘I really thought you hated me,’ he murmured, his voice breaking.
I shook my head. ‘Never. You’re not just a good friend. You’re my dad. And we’ve got a whole lot of catching up to do.’
He nodded, and as we bridged the gap between us and hugged each other tightly, I was weeping freely.
‘Sorry!’ I gasped at last, as we drew apart. ‘Honestly, I feel like I’ve been crying all day.’
He pointed inside. ‘I’ve got a box of tissues in there,’ he said, ever Mr Practical.
I smiled. ‘It’s okay. I’ve got some in the car. I told Billy I wouldn’t be long. But I just had to come and see you.’
‘I’m very glad you did.’
‘How about we go out for a meal tomorrow night? A belated Father’s Day dinner?’
His eyes twinkled. ‘Need to check my diary first.’
I laughed, appreciating the joke. ‘So I’ll see you tomorrow night, then.’
‘See you tomorrow night.’
I was walking away when I remembered something and turned. ‘You know, I was so upset because I didn’t have my dad at my twenty-fifth birthday party. But it turns out, I actually did!’
He smiled. ‘I’ll be there for many more. If I’m invited.’
‘Of course you’ll be invited.’
‘In that case, consider me a regular fixture.’
He stood and waved as I left, and I drove almost in a trance, smiling as I thought about how incredible it was that I’d finally found my father, the missing piece... the adventures that lay in store for us... and how much we would bring to each other’s lives in the coming years.
I was still smiling when I arrived back at Billy’s.