Chapter 10
10
CATHERINE
C atherine woke to the soft glow of morning light filtering through the blinds. For a moment, she simply lay there, eyes half-closed, the world still spinning with the aftershocks of yesterday’s revelations. Her body felt heavy, the memory of Lexi—the weight of her touch, the heat of their kiss—lingering in every nerve ending. But as her mind sharpened, guilt cut through the haze. She was in bed with James—her husband, the man she pledged to build a life with—who lay beside her unaware of the storm brewing inside her.
Turning slightly, Catherine studied James, trying to remember what it felt like to be in love with him. He was safe in his predictability, the steady pulse of their life together a comfort she'd relied on for years. But as she looked at him now, there was a hollowness in her chest she couldn't ignore. He was right beside her, yet she couldn't shake the feeling that she was slipping away.
The past few weeks had felt like a constant battle between the life she'd known and the life calling to her. She hadn’t meant for this to happen, for the lines between right and wrong to blur so quickly. But she’d crossed them, again and again. Her thoughts always returned to Lexi, the pull of her presence so magnetic it felt like a physical ache. The connection between them felt more real than anything she'd ever experienced.
The sound of James stirring pulled her from her thoughts. His hand found hers, his fingers warm and familiar. The gesture should have been comforting, but all Catherine could feel was the sharp contrast between his touch and Lexi's—intense, burning, alive.
"Morning," James murmured, voice thick with sleep.
Catherine forced a smile, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Morning,” she replied. Her voice sounded like it belonged to someone else.
James rubbed his eyes and stretched. "So what's on the agenda today?" he asked, his tone casual, as if everything was fine. He had no idea that the person lying next to him had already slipped through his fingers.
"I've got rounds this morning," Catherine answered, her voice distant. "I should be free this afternoon, but I'll probably stay for a full day anyway."
James seemed content with her response, rolling over to check his phone for messages. Catherine stared at the ceiling, feeling the weight of a decision looming. Every passing moment brought her closer to a choice she had no idea how to make.
Later that morning, Catherine found herself walking the halls of Phoenix Ridge Hospital, the weight of her professional persona wrapping around her like armor. She’d always been able to compartmentalize—work was work, home was home—but today, that barrier felt thinner than it ever had before. The closer she got to the surgery wing, the more her mind raced. She knew she had to keep up appearances, but with Lexi just around the corner, it felt impossible to focus.
Lexi was one of the brightest surgeons on staff. Catherine had always admired her drive and talent. But what had started as a professional admiration had blossomed into something far more complicated, something Catherine wasn’t sure she could control anymore.
When they met in the hallway, their eyes locked for a brief moment, and a jolt of electricity passed between them. It was like nothing else existed, not the crowded hallways, not the other doctors rushing past them—just the two of them. The unspoken tension crackled, making Catherine feel both alive and deeply ashamed.
“Morning,” Lexi greeted her, her voice low, just loud enough to be heard over the bustle of the hospital.
Catherine forced a smile and tried to keep her voice steady. “Morning. How’s the new patient?”
Lexi’s lips curled into a brief smile. “A bit tricky, but nothing we can’t handle.” She leaned in a little closer, her gaze dropping to Catherine’s lips before quickly returning to her eyes. It was a brief, fleeting moment, but it was enough to make Catherine’s heart rate spike. She couldn’t deny the hunger in Lexi’s gaze.
They stood there for a beat too long, neither of them moving, as if they were both trapped in a shared moment of desire. But then, the sound of footsteps interrupted their silence, and Lexi quickly stepped back, her professional mask snapping back into place.
“We’ll need to adjust the surgical schedule,” Catherine said, trying to steer their attention back to the task at hand.
Lexi nodded, but there was a flicker in her eyes—a silent acknowledgment of what had passed between them. “I’ll take care of it.”
Catherine watched her walk away, the sway of Lexi’s hips only deepening the ache inside her. She should have felt guilty, but she didn’t…at least, not as guilty as she knew she should be. Instead, the heat of desire burned in her chest, the longing for more of what they’d shared.
Catherine barely had time to think until the workday came to an end. Her mind was still buzzing with thoughts of Lexi when she walked through the door of their home. James stood at the stove with his back to her, not turning around as he spoke.
"You're home," he said flatly. No greeting, no warmth—just an observation.
Catherine shrugged off her coat. "Yeah, I got out a little early tonight."
James didn't respond right away. "Dinner's almost done," he said, still focused on his screen. "You can grab a plate if you want."
The indifference in his voice twisted something inside her. Once upon a time, James would have met her at the door and asked about her day. Now, he didn't even look at her unless he had to.
They ate in silence. James scrolled through his phone, Catherine picked at her food, her appetite nonexistent.
"How was your day?" she finally asked.
"Fine. Same as usual."
She waited for him to ask about hers, but of course he didn't. He'd stopped asking months ago.
"I had a tough case today," she said anyway. "Long surgery, high stakes. It was..." She trailed off, realizing he wasn't listening.
James finally looked at her, but only for a second. "That's nice," he said distractedly.
That's nice.
Catherine gripped her fork tighter. How had they gotten here? How had their marriage become this hollow thing where neither of them could pretend anymore?
"James," she said, her voice quieter now. "Are we ever going to talk about what's happening between us?"
He set his phone down, sighing as if she'd asked him to do something exhausting. "What's there to talk about?"
"Seriously?" Catherine blinked at him.
"Catherine, we're tired. Sometimes people just drift apart. It happens."
Her stomach twisted. "So that's it? We just let it happen?"
"What do you want me to say? That I'll fight for this? That I'll beg you to love me again?" He shook his head. "I'm too tired for that. If you're unhappy, that's your problem."
Catherine felt the words like a slap. The worst part was that he wasn't even being cruel—just brutally indifferent.
"I don't know if I can keep living like this," she whispered.
James let out a dry chuckle and pushed back from the table. "Then don't."
And with that, he walked out of the room, leaving her sitting at the table alone.
Catherine stood up robotically and walked into the bathroom. The door clicked shut behind her, and she stood for a moment in front of the mirror, breathing in the stillness. She couldn't bring herself to look at her reflection.
Her phone buzzed, and the screen lit up with a message from Lexi: Are you still thinking about me?
The words sent a jolt through her chest. She should have put the phone down, but she couldn't. Lexi's presence, even in a message, had the power to make everything else fade into the background.
Catherine hesitated, then texted back: You've been on my mind all day.
Her phone rang almost immediately. It was Lexi.
Catherine took a deep breath and answered, her voice quieter than she'd intended. "Lexi?"
"Catherine," Lexi said, her tone like a caress. "You've been quiet today. I didn't hear from you after this morning in the hallway."
The sound of Lexi's voice sent a shiver down Catherine's spine. It was like an invisible thread between them had tugged, drawing her in despite every cautionary instinct.
"I was busy," Catherine replied, though even she could hear the lie in her voice.
"I miss you," Lexi said softly. "I've been thinking about you. About what we talked about yesterday."
The mention of their promise to try sent a wave of heat crashing over Catherine.
"I can't stop thinking about you, either," Catherine whispered, her voice cracking as she admitted it out loud.
Lexi exhaled slowly. "I can feel it. You're torn, aren't you? I can hear it in the way you're talking."
"I don't know what to do," Catherine admitted, the words falling into the quiet air like stones.
"You don't have to fix anything right now," Lexi said, her voice like a balm. "Just tell me what you need."
Catherine swallowed hard. "I need you," she whispered. The words were an admission of everything she'd been avoiding.
"Then come to me," Lexi said, her voice soft but firm. "Come to me tonight."
Catherine's heart skipped a beat. She was standing on the edge of something she couldn't come back from. But in that moment, the pull toward Lexi was stronger than anything else.
"I'll be there," Catherine whispered, and hung up the phone.
When Catherine emerged from the bathroom, she found James sitting on the couch, flipping through a magazine absently. The familiar, mundane sight of him hit her like a punch to the gut.
"You need something?" he asked without looking up.
Catherine shook her head. "No, just...a long day."
James made a vague sound and turned a page.
"I think I'm going to take a walk," Catherine said softly. "Clear my head."
James didn't even look up this time. "Sure. Whatever."
Catherine turned toward the door, her heart pounding. It was the hardest thing she'd ever done—walking out that door knowing she was choosing Lexi, choosing herself, over the life she'd built with James.
She'd made her choice. If she was honest with herself, she'd made it a while ago.
And now, there was no going back.
Catherine couldn’t quite remember how she got from her house to Lexi’s apartment. Everything had blurred together—the drive, the stoplights flashing by, the weight in her chest growing heavier with every passing minute. But now, as she stood outside the door with the night air cool on her skin, she was fully aware of the choice she was making.
She reached for the doorbell, her finger trembling slightly as she pressed it. The sound of the chime echoed through the hallway, and anticipation pulsed deep in her gut. It was as if the moment she’d been avoiding for weeks, months, maybe even years, had arrived at last.
The door swung open and Lexi stood in the doorway, framed by the soft, warm glow from inside the apartment. Her dark eyes met Catherine’s, the unspoken intensity between them growing with each passing second. Lexi was dressed simply in a loose shirt and jeans, but there was a heat to her presence that immediately pulled Catherine closer, even as she stood still, rooted in place by the weight of her own hesitation.
“You came,” Lexi said softly, her voice like a promise.
Catherine didn’t trust herself to speak. She just nodded, her breath catching as Lexi stepped aside, allowing her to enter. The apartment smelled like fresh coffee and candles—familiar and intimate and completely new. It felt like stepping into another world, one that was separate from the life she had with James, far away from the demands and expectations that had defined her for so long.
Once the door clicked shut behind her, Catherine’s chest tightened with a mixture of excitement and guilt. This wasn’t just a night. This wasn’t just a stolen moment. This was the choice that would decide everything.
Lexi’s apartment felt small and cozy, with low lighting and a quiet hum of music playing in the background. There was a calmness to it, a kind of peace that Catherine hadn’t felt in her own home in years. She felt a strange sense of belonging here, though it was laced with the knowledge that this could all be a fleeting delusion.
“Do you want something to drink?” Lexi asked, her voice soft, almost tender. “Wine? Coffee? I can make you something to eat.”
Catherine shook her head, her throat dry. “No. Just…I need to be here. With you.”
The vulnerability in her voice startled her. It was the first time she’d allowed herself to speak the truth that had been buried under layers of guilt and denial. She needed this. She needed her .
Lexi took a step closer, and Catherine’s breath hitched. The space between them closed with a slow inevitability, and before Catherine could process the shift, Lexi’s hand was on her cheek, warm and gentle, her fingers grazing the skin as she tipped Catherine’s face up toward hers.
“I’ve been waiting for you,” Lexi whispered, and then her lips were on Catherine’s, slow and tentative at first, as if testing the waters, but with an intensity that made Catherine’s pulse race.
The kiss deepened quickly, the urgency between them building as their bodies instinctively drew together. Catherine’s hands found Lexi’s waist, her fingers curling into the fabric of Lexi’s shirt as she pulled her closer. She felt the heat of Lexi’s body against hers, and the pull was so magnetic, so overwhelming, that Catherine could do nothing but give in to it.
Everything else faded—the guilt, the weight of her marriage, her doubts. All that remained was the feeling of Lexi’s lips against hers, the pressure of their bodies, the rush of desire that flooded Catherine’s veins.
For a moment, there was no past. There was just the way Lexi kissed her, as if she’d been waiting for this moment for years.
Catherine’s hands moved to the back of Lexi’s neck, pulling her closer still, as if she could merge with her, become part of the very air they were breathing. Lexi responded in kind, her hands moving down Catherine’s sides, tracing the curves of her body with a reverence that left Catherine breathless.
There was no room for shame or guilt here. It was swallowed up by the way Lexi touched her, the way their bodies seemed to recognize each other, responding with an urgency that both terrified and thrilled Catherine. She wasn’t sure how long they stood there, lips pressed together, lost in the kiss. Time seemed to stretch and bend, pulling them into a space where everything else ceased to matter.
When they finally broke apart, it was only to catch their breath. Lexi’s forehead rested against Catherine’s, her eyes dark with desire, her lips swollen from their kiss.
“I don’t want to stop,” Lexi whispered, her voice raw, the words vibrating between them like a promise.
Catherine’s heart thudded painfully. She didn’t know how to define what was happening between them. But she knew she couldn’t stop, either. She’d already made the choice to be here with Lexi, and there was no turning back.
“I don’t want to, either,” Catherine breathed, her voice thick with the emotion she could no longer hide.
Lexi’s lips ghosted across her neck. It was only the lightest touch, but it sent a shiver down Catherine’s spine. The sensations that were overwhelming her felt so foreign, yet so familiar. She’d never known anything like this before—this feeling of being desired in a way that was all-consuming.
“I don’t care about anything else right now,” Lexi murmured, her hands moving down Catherine’s back, pulling her in until there was no space left between them. “Just you. Just this.”
Catherine nodded, the weight of her own conflicting emotions all but forgotten in the heat of the moment. The pull toward Lexi was stronger than ever. It wasn’t just the physical desire, though that was undeniable. It was the connection between them—the electricity that arced between their bodies, their minds, their hearts.
As Lexi’s hands began to explore, as their kisses deepened and their bodies moved together, Catherine knew she’d crossed a line. She’d made the choice. There was no going back, no undoing the tangled mess of emotions, desires, and choices that had led her here.
And for the first time in a long time, Catherine didn’t feel like she was pretending. She felt alive. She felt real .
The world outside seemed to fall away, and all that remained was Lexi, her touch, and the ache in Catherine’s chest that could only be soothed by this one thing—being with her, here and now.