Chapter 9 #2
“Sorry,” she replies. She pulls back, pulls Akilah’s bag over and yanks out the book she knows is in there. “Did you say my name for something?”
Akilah smiles softly. Predatorily. “I think you’re beautiful.”
Tanner’s eyes go wide, and she smiles, pulling her lip between her teeth as she hides behind the book.
“I can’t believe you want me to talk more and yet you hide whenever I do.”
“I do not,” Tanner replies. She’d pull her knees up to hide her, too, but Akilah is still leaning on her. “Stop being a menace.”
Akilah leans her hand next to her hip on the bench and lifts herself up. Her eyes peek over the top of the book. “Where did you go?”
Tanner takes a deep breath. Tries and fails not to look at her lips. It’s not unfair to think about kissing her in her own mind. She’s not going to act on it. It is cruel for her brain to make it look like Akilah’s gaze dropped to her lips, too.
Tanner should tell her that if she doesn’t want to kiss her, she can’t look at her like that. Instead, she lets Ilah lean closer, her lips against her temple. “Tell me about your mum.”
Tanner huffs as Akilah lies back down like she hasn’t just destroyed her entirely.
“I – uhm,” she starts. Akilah looks at her with furrowed brows. Like she’s stuttering over talking about her parents and not the fact that Akilah was so close she could have licked her lip with ease.
“My parents gave me up for adoption at two,” she says.
It’s not difficult to talk about, but she doesn’t love it.
She shrugs, twisting her fingers together.
“I met them a few years ago, and they had a whole host of other kids. One close to my age, some are not. I dunno. It’s her birthday next week, and I feel guilty for not sending something when she didn’t even apologise for leaving me to bounce around foster families. ”
Akilah reaches for her hands, separates them as Tanner pulls against her own fingers until she relents and lets Akilah hold onto her hand.
“I’m sorry.”
Tanner smiles. “Thank you.”
“I didn’t mean to make you think about it.”
“I’m not thinking about it.”
Akilah hums. “What are you thinking about?” Tanner holds her hand tighter, runs her finger along her hairline.
“I’m always thinking about you.”
Akilah presses her lips to the back of her hand. “Don’t be cute. I’m too overwhelmed to enjoy it properly. Talk to me, though, please.”
Tanner laughs lightly. “Sometimes I don’t have anything to say, but as you begged to hear my voice, she flicks through the book open to where Akilah has dog-eared it.
It takes her a while to get into it. Akilah smiles, lets her stumble over the words. Tanner can read, but it’s much more intimate than she thought it would be. Akilah rubs her thumb over the back of her hand. The methodological movements help the nerves.
Eventually, Tanner must lift her hand to turn the page, and she does so regretfully, only to find the story has ended, the next page blank. The break in contact allows for a sliver of clarity to return to her, and she realises she can’t remember anything she’d read.
How novel, she thought, with a tinge of pride in her own wordplay. It would be worth repeating to Akilah if the explanation didn’t require such a confession. Oh yes, she was simply so distracted by her touch that she couldn't remember a word she said while reading this book.
“The end,” she says abruptly. “Did you like it?”
Akilah clears her throat, sitting up a little bit. “What?”
Tanner looks at the wideness of her eyes, dips to her lips once. The way she settles back into her touch. “Did you like the ending?”
“Oh, I–” Akilah seems embarrassed. Her voice is quiet. “I think I missed it.”
Akilah is never uncertain. Though Tanner thought she’d noticed it a few times, she had an uncharacteristic bout of shyness. Tanner wants to know if it’s because of her. So, she can’t resist pressing her.
“Did I distract you?”
Akilah lets out a quiet sound, a mix of outside and exasperation. Frowns as she lies back against Tanner’s legs.
“I have a headache.” The misdirection of it all. She’s the sweetest thing.
“Is it dark enough? I can find a makeshift eye mask.”
Akilah holds her hands over her face, and Tanner giggles. She has the bizarre urge to bite her. She won’t, she checks the time on the dryer. Twelve minutes to go. Perhaps she should throw some water on her towels to see if they can stay here longer.
Ilah huffs, puts her arms down again. Frustrated. Tanner strokes the side of her head; she figures she’s touching her already and throws her t-shirt over her face. Akilah is stock still for a moment, her cheek resting against Tanner’s stomach.
“Oh,” she whispers, then, “Yeah.” She tilts her head a little and presses her nose against Tanner’s stomach.
“That’s good.” She can feel her lips against her skin and didn’t realise how this might ruin her. “Can you do that thing with your hand again?”
“Go to sleep,” Tanner says softly, her hand reaching under her top to rest against the back of Akilah’s neck. “I’ll wake you when it’s time to go home.”