Chapter 13
thirteen
. . .
Tanner huffs as she walks along the pavement, laptop and portfolio lugged under her arm. The office space she leases also rents to other companies, who have no regard for the noise they’re making. One ruined customer call and the internet failing again means she’s on the hunt for somewhere new.
If she had the space, she’d work from home. It’s her absolute ideal situation, but her flat is hardly big enough for a sofa and a bed, let alone a desk. She could afford to move somewhere bigger, but she doesn’t want to spend double the rent to spend all her time at Akilah’s house anyway.
She does, however, want to see her girlfriend, and it’s barely even five, so the club won’t be busy yet. When she walks in, Tanner is surprised to find it the same as last time. She’d been expecting their decorating decision to take effect, but the work isn’t scheduled for weeks.
She does see Akilah behind the bar. Sitting on the counter, her knees up with a book, like she wasn’t supposed to be doing something and not reading.
“Hi.”
Akilah doesn’t move. It’s Tanner’s new favourite game. Seeing how many times she can call her name before she realises anyone is there.
“Ilah.”
Nothing. She’s the rudest person in the world. Tanner walks behind the bar, pours herself a drink and places her bags next to Akilah’s under the bar.
“Baby.”
Akilah’s jaw ticks. Tanner’s drops.
“You’re so rude.”
Akilah glances up from her book, her expression unreadable, but Tanner’s learned to look for the subtleties. There’s no frown, no immediate protest, a subtle shake of her head, eyes twinkling – and oh, she knows it’s a win.
“You don’t have to do this all the time.”
“Oh, but I do,” she replies, taking a sip of Coke. “What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t?”
“A less exhausting one.”
Tanner pouts, and Akilah’s jaw twitches. “In my defence,” she says as she slowly puts the book down, even as she clearly reads it still. “You’re usually here after five, and I’m mid chapter.”
“Yeah, the other tenants were annoying again.”
She places her book down with a thud. “What did they do? You should leave.”
“I know,” Tanner replies with a sigh. “I’ll look for something else.”
“I thought you wanted to work from home.” Akilah looks at her properly, spinning until she’s sitting on the counter.
Tanner still has to look up at her, but why change the habit of a hopeful lifetime?
She moves back a step to let Akilah’s legs fall apart.
When Tanner moves closer, she rests her hands against her hips.
“You’re mean,” Tanner says instead of talking about work anymore. If she pouts enough, Ilah might kiss her in public.
Akilah smiles, teeth and everything, as she looks down at her. She tucks her hair behind her ear, her hand lingering under her jaw as she tilts her face to hers.
“So are you.”
Tanner frowns. “What did I do?”
“Why are you my friend and not my girlfriend?”
Tanner smiles. “This morning you practically wished me dead.”
“You put your cold hands on my back,” she whispers as she kisses her nose. Tanner can feel the staff watching them. They’re perfectly nice to her, but they clearly don’t understand their relationship. They think Akilah is rude and strange.
“I missed you.” Weirdos. Akilah is perfect.
“I’ve been here for hours,” Tanner mutters back, slowly standing on tiptoes.
“Liar.” Her thumb rests under her jaw as she kisses her lips. Only once, but Tanner chases it. “Why don’t you take one of the spare rooms at home and make it an office?”
“Have you seen my flat? What spare room?”
Akilah looks away. “Yeah, you’re right.”
Tanner frowns, but there’s someone at the bar who wants something. Annoying because Akilah straightened out her face before Tanner could figure out her expression. Instead, she takes her favourite seat and watches Akilah instead of going home.
When she gets there, she’s going to take a pie out of the freezer and throw the laundry in. Possibly, move the daybed boxes into the sunroom. She might need Akilah’s help, though.
Oh, when Tanner thinks of home, there’s no studio. It’s high ceilings and boots tucked into the porch, and tea mugs on every coaster available. It’s blankets piled onto the armchair and hastily making the bed because she’s late after kissing Akilah too long.
Home is the woman making drinks with that same stubborn determination she brings to everything.
Jaw set, dark brows furrowed in focus, dark hair slipping free from whatever attempt she’d made to tame it earlier.
Perhaps three locs are still tied behind her head.
The fan catches the rest, sweeping them across her face, and instead of tucking it back neatly, she lifts a hand to push it aside.
Her fingers slide through before she lets them fall over one shoulder.
Tanner wants to kiss the exposed skin of her neck.
The lights flash, but Tanner barely registers them as she sees Akilah bathed in an ethereal glow. She watches how Akilah’s lips press together, how she bites the inside of her cheek when she tries to remember an order – God forbid she talk to someone.
Tanner thinks of her house as their home. And far too slowly, she realises that’s what Akilah meant too.
She wants to touch her. For her fingers to linger on the base of her spine so she knows it was a misunderstanding.
Since her home is wherever she is, Tanner will help her with the bar customers.
Because she’s allowed, she’s going to get behind the bar and do the customer-facing part because she misses being close with her.
Then Akilah’s face tilts. Slightly enough to catch the fan again.
Her eyes slip closed for half a second, letting herself indulge in it.
It’s such a small gesture, but it catches somewhere deep in Tanner’s chest — a curious little thing, lodged between her ribs.
It’s preposterous how badly she wants to reach out.
Smooth that furrow between her brows, press her teeth to the pulse in her neck, push back the hair Akilah refuses to tame properly –
“You’re staring.”
“You’re my girlfriend,” she replies, then, “It’s in the contract.”
Akilah smiles as she places the drinks on the bar, taking payment as it wounds her. It’s not fair to spring this conversation on her here, not with strangers around.
“Ilah, can I show you the idea for the private rooms?”
She looks over at the bartenders, then looks back at her with a nod. They don’t touch on the way, but Tanner is giddy with the prospect. She pulls the curtain closed the moment they're alone.
“You meant the spare rooms at your house.”
Akilah puts her hands in her pockets. “I’ve been tricked.”
“I don’t want to trick you,” she says, then, “I do have plans too. If you want.”
“I didn’t mean to – I know you have a house. I wasn’t trying to suggest you didn’t.”
Tanner smiles. “I know.”
Akilah nods. “I love being with you,” she says.
“I love being around you. I love leaving work knowing you’re already there.
If you decided you didn’t want to be with me anymore, you could still use it.
” It looks like it physically pains her to suggest. Tanner loves her so much.
“If you wanted to work at yours too, that would be fine.”
Tanner smiles, walking over to her. Kisses her once, until Akilah holds her closer and kisses her back.
“We can talk about it at home. I’m going to paint it pink.”
Akilah nods, kissing her again. “Okay.”
“Have you ever been on the pole?” Tanner asks when she reluctantly pulls away.
“I don’t dance.”
Tanner gasps.
“What?” Akilah asks.
“I didn’t ask you if you dance,” she says, her fingers tight against her shirt. She pushes back slightly and walks around the room. “I asked you if you’d been on the pole.”
Akilah frowns. “Why would I —” She stops. Her eyes narrow. “No.”
“Oh, come on. One dance.”
“I am not dancing with you.”
“For me.”
Akilah crosses her arms over her chest. “I won’t.”
Tanner sighs, tilting her head with a wistful sort of air. “It would be a shame if I were to be overcome with grief.”
“Would it?”
Tanner smiles. Oh, she’s got her. “You’re terribly cruel, Ilah.”
“I’m terribly practical.”
“Baby,” she says, voice low as she walks towards her. “Get on the pole for me.”
She huffs, looks away. “I don’t understand why you have this power over me.” Akilah loves her. That’s why. Perhaps she doesn’t understand it yet, but Tanner knows it to be true.
She knows because Tanner loves her, too. There’s a desperation to tell her, to shout it from rooftops, but she’s keeping it under wraps until the design is finished in case Akilah doesn’t take it well. It’s not fair to overload her just because her heart likes it when she looks at her.
Akilah walks over and lifts Tanner onto the cabinet with ease. Then, ties her hair back up. The movements stretch her shirt over her breasts, and Tanner leans forward, undoes a few buttons until Akilah holds her hand and puts them behind her back.
“I want to touch you.”
Akilah smiles, kissing her jaw to her ear. “Then you should have negotiated.” She kisses her properly, her hands cradling behind her head as she holds her close. Her tongue takes her apart softly, until she’s a panting mess, biting at her lips.
“You must make the tea all day tomorrow,” Akilah says, and Tanner can barely breathe, but she manages a nod.
Akilah sighs, kicks her shoes off, pumps something sticky onto her hands and holds onto the pole with one hand high above her head. She lets out a breath, tenses her arm and lifts her feet slightly. She turns with unburdened fury, yet she’s the most graceful thing Tanner’s ever seen.
There are a few turns, her legs spread open as she turns upside down.
Tanner can barely look away from the way her muscles tense.
Every time she spins, her eyes lock onto hers.
Oh, Akilah is doing it on purpose. Every movement is supposed to make her want to pass out.
It’s supposed to make her want something she can’t realistically have.
It’s supposed to turn her on so badly she might combust.
It was dangerous and infantile to think this was going to be funny, as if she was going to laugh, clap, and give her the entirety of her bank account.
It’s powerful, it’s sexy, it’s –
“How the fuck have you managed to make a pole dance romantic?”
Akilah laughs, slowing until she spins on her tiptoes. She holds her hand out.
“Come here.”
Tanner squeals, throws her shoes off and climbs onto the podium. Akilah positions her hands around her neck, and Tanner secures them tightly. She picks her up with one arm, holds onto the pole with the other as she spins.
“Don’t distract me,” she whispers.
They spin through the air, and Tanner figures this is why people jump out of planes. There’s an adrenaline rush spinning around weightless that she’ll think about for the rest of the week. Though truthfully, most of the appeal is being this close to the woman she loves.
All too soon, she’s on the ground.
“I might have to schedule this into my daily routine,” Tanner says when Akilah washes her hands. She needs to go home immediately. Preferably alone. Maybe with a long shower.
“You’re coming back early or late?” Tanner asks as subtly as she can.
“Early.” Well, fuck. Still, she smiles. She’ll always want Akilah more than an orgasm. Akilah rarely stays late anymore. She’s hired a night manager, though she’s refusing to give them a key to her office.
“Okay, I’ll wait for dinner.”
Akilah smiles, kisses her lips. “See you later, baby.”
“Bye,” Tanner says. Kisses her once more. “I love you.”
Akilah holds onto her wrists as she spins away. “What?”
Tanner frowns. “What?”
“Say that again.”
“I love you,” she repeats. “Oh.”
Akilah swallows. “You do?”
“Yeah,” Tanner says with a smile. “Of course I do.”
Akilah nods, tapping her thigh quickly as she looks around. Tanner doesn’t mind. She leans up and kisses her on the cheek.
“Don’t overthink it. See you at home.”