Chapter 5
five
. . .
Lux
Then
We stumble into my apartment, her lips on mine.
Her. Lips. On. Mine.
“Olivia,” I pant. “What are we doing?”
“Shut up, Lux, and keep kissing me,” she murmurs against my mouth. “Don’t stop kissing me.”
There is every reason to stop, but if she doesn’t want me to, I’m not going to be the one to pull away.
My lips press against hers, my tongue invading her mouth like it has every right to be there.
She tastes like sugar and coconut—her drink of the evening—making her even more addictive.
We move through the living room like two tumble weeds, rolling in sync, carried by the wind that is alcohol and lust and years and years of my repressed and unrequited love.
When we reach the bed, my hands slide beneath her white tank, pushing it up her torso and then over her head.
I know, despite the requests of her upbringing, she isn’t a virgin. But knowing she’s never been touched by another woman’s hands this way makes me want to maul her and mark her.
“Fuck me,” I breathe out, my gaze dancing between her eyes and her exposed breasts. “Can I touch you?”
Olivia’s hands eagerly find the button on her jeans, her eyes never leaving mine. She slowly drags down the zipper. “That’s the whole point, isn’t it? You touching me, me touching you.”
The side of her mouth pulls up into the sexiest smirk I’ve ever seen, a side of her that makes her even more attractive. Somehow, she holds the confidence of the world in that smile; even with all her lack of experience, she has enough determination for both of us.
“Olivia,” I say, trying to regulate my breathing. “Tonight was your bachelorette party. I don’t think this is what your fiancé had in mind when he said to make sure you had fun tonight.”
“Probably not,” she says, reaching for the buttons on my shirt. “But then you told me you love me.”
Her delicate hands push the material over my shoulders, leaving me in nothing but my crop top. “Did you expect me to ignore that?”
The answer sits on my tongue; the tongue that kissed her best friend, the tongue that wants to kiss her best friend again and again and again.
And instead of using that tongue to tell her the truth, to tell her that I have loved her since I was ten years old, to tell her that I have wanted her since my body knew how to want, that I have been too scared to touch and ruin and taint the best person I know.
I blurt out, “You’re too good for me. You’ve always been too good for me. ”
“Don’t talk like—”
Slamming my lips back to hers, I stop her from saying any more. I don’t want to hear about the rose-colored version she has of me, the one that only she can see. The one who would think I’m worthy of her, in any lifetime.
If this is all I will ever have with her, then I’m going to take it. Because I’m not good and I’m not perfect, like she thinks. I’m as selfish as I’ve always been, and now I know how she tastes; the damage is done, because I am forever altered.
Hooking my fingers into the waistband of her black thong, I push it down, past her ass, and to her thighs. Still kissing, she shimmies them down her legs, and my hand instinctively covers her pussy. I drag my finger through her wet folds, and we both groan at the contact.
“Is this okay?” I ask.
“Again,” she murmurs against my lips with a nod. “Touch me again.”
I repeat the motion, brushing past her clit, over and over again. Olivia’s hand covers my fingers, and she guides them inside her.
“More,” she says hoarsely. “I want more.”
There is no request of hers I could ever deny, and I won’t start now. Mirroring my actions, she unbuttons my pants and doesn’t even bother trying to push them off. I use my free hand to still hers.
“You don’t have to. I know this is all new for you, and I’m more than happy to do all the work.”
She ignores me completely, dropping her hand from mine and gliding it into my briefs. Two fingers tease my opening, and my breath hitches in delight.
“Oh my God,” Liv says, gliding her fingers between my folds. “You’re so wet.”
A strained laugh slips between my lips. “You have no idea.”
Liv pulls back just enough to look at me. “Tell me again,” she says.
“What?”
She grazes my clit. “I want to hear you say it again.”
My mind hyperfixates on the way her pussy feels around my fingers and the way mine throbs, desperate to feel hers.
“I love you,” I tell her. “I’m in love with you.”
The declaration feels so freeing that my body pulsates with euphoria. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but for tonight, I’m going to live and love in this bubble. I’m going to give myself to her and take anything she offers me.
I’m finally going to show Olivia my world and just how well she fits in.