Chapter 6
six
. . .
Olivia
Now
I feel the change the moment Lux’s gaze finds mine. Like a switch flipped, her expression morphs from sadness to determination. I focus as she takes inventory of her surroundings before looking back at me.
Swallowing the thick lump of emotion in my throat, I subtly nod at her.
Get me out of here.
It all happens in slow motion as I watch her nudge my cousin, handing her the bouquet of flowers she’s holding. Julie’s brows furrow, confusion written all over her face, as her gaze darts between Lux and me.
Lux steps out of formation and then strides down the aisle with an unrecognizable amount of confidence. I feel James stiffen as she gets closer to me, and when she holds out her hand to me, I have no choice but to take it.
With my palm in hers, I turn my gaze to a clueless-looking James.
“What’s wrong?” he asks. “Are you okay?”
My voice trembles as I try to apologize. “I’m so sorry, James. I’m so, so sorry.”
“For what?”
The words are stuck on my tongue, and when my father appears behind us, I swallow them whole … and run.
Without a single ounce of hesitation, Lux follows me, and we race down the church steps as quickly as our heels and dresses will allow. I don’t look back. I can’t look back.
“Limo?” Lux calls out.
“Limo,” I confirm.
Lux reaches the car before me and yanks at the door. Hiking up my dress, I literally dive in and launch myself onto the leather seat. My heart races and my breaths come out in short, sharp pants as I watch Lux speak to the driver and then climb in after me.
She takes the seat beside me, and within seconds, I feel the car rumble to life beneath me before it drives away. The air is thick, our breaths loud, as we stare at one another.
I get lost in the rise and fall of her shoulders as my eyes well with tears and the adrenaline slowly leaves my body.
I left for James. I left for her. I left for myself.
“We can go back,” she whispers, misunderstanding my tears. She grabs a tissue from somewhere and dabs at the corners of my eyes. “I can fix this up quickly, and we can go back.”
Shaking my head, I cradle her face in my hands, my voice shaky. “I’m not making a mistake. We are not a mistake.”
Lux
I fight against the tears and hold her gaze. I borrow her strength, dragging the words out from the depths of my chest to tell her exactly what she needs to hear.
“It has always been you,” I confess. “At eight, at twelve, at sixteen. At twenty-one, twenty-five, and now. It has always been you.”
Despite the heavy and high emotions between us, a small, relieved smile spreads across Liv’s face as I pour all my secrets out to her. The ones that aren’t fueled by alcohol and lust and desperation.
“At first, I thought it was just because you’re my best friend.
The person I turned to when the rest of the world had turned its back on me.
But then there you were, waiting for your date at senior prom, and the newfound jealousy that sat like a lump of coal in my chest at not being able to slip a corsage over your wrist, or link my arms with yours as we walked into the school auditorium, solidified exactly what this was for me.
“I don’t have anything but myself to offer you, Liv.” My voice breaks as I continue to crack my chest open for her. “You know every single thing about me. The good. The bad. And so much of the ugly.”
As if my words bring on a flood of memories, she instinctively presses her lips to my cheek, the gesture soft and not one of friends but more of lovers.
“And you’re the only one who has ever seen past all that. Muddled through the bullshit with me, and proudly walked beside me to get to the other side.”
I drag her hands off my face. “I know none of this is black and white. I know we land somewhere in the gray, and the aftermath of today is going to be one hell of a clean up.” I bring her palm to my lips and press a gentle kiss to her skin.
“But I need you to know, whatever that looks like, I’m all in. ”
Olivia allows those unshed tears to fall as I continue talking. “I will fight for you, I will fight with you. I want to spend the rest of our lives together, good or bad, happy or sad. I want it all.
“I want to be your other half, and I want you to be my better one.” My fingertips brush against Olivia’s cheekbone, wiping away the tears. “Marry Me?”