Chapter 7
seven
. . .
Lux
Now
Impatiently, I spin the thin silver band around my ring finger. Over and over again.
Olivia’s hand covers mine, her jewelry matching mine. “It’s going to be okay.”
Turning my head, I meet her gaze. “How are you so calm right now?”
“It’s going to go one of two ways,” she says matter-of-factly. “He’s either going to accept it or not.”
“And if he doesn’t?” I ask cautiously.
“Then he doesn’t.”
Her words seem so final and certain, but I still have my doubts. That man is her world, and I know more than anyone how important his approval is, even if she’ll never admit to seeking it.
After running out on her wedding, we spent a week in a nearby town, away from everyone. Secluded and married. Seven days of vulnerability and intimacy, I know I will never have with anyone else.
It was fast and spontaneous, but it was also romantic and whimsical. A week of conviction and clarity that this is our life.
The one we want.
The one we will fight for.
Olivia squeezes my hand, and my eyes dart up to see Ben walking through the automatic doors and into the cafe.
I try to school my features and breathe through my anxiety, but the moment Ben’s eyes land on our joined hands, my stomach drops.
“Dad,” Olivia breathes out. “Thanks for coming.”
Taking a seat opposite us, I watch this usually calm and collected man begin to unravel.
“I want to start off by saying I’m so sor—”
Ben raises a hand, wordlessly silencing Olivia, and I can feel my blood simmering beneath my skin. I’ve never seen this side of him, and I don’t like it.
“I don’t want to hear your apology, Olivia. I want to know why you couldn’t just talk to me, or James, before breaking that poor man’s heart and wasting all that money.”
Liv’s mouth opens and closes a few times before she repeats herself, her voice tired and resigned. “I’m sorry, Dad.”
The silence stretches as Ben’s eyes find mine. “Do you have anything to add, Lux?”
Unsure of what the right answer is here, I decide to put my heart on the line for both of us. I find the courage I need and tell him the truth.
“I’m in love with your daughter, sir.”
“I know that,” he says gruffly. “You couldn’t hide it if you tried.”
Stunned into silence, I swallow the awkwardness and try not to obsess over how easy it is to read to all the wrong people.
“And now, I presume, you love her too?” His question is directed at Olivia, his voice not hostile, but rather flippant and dismissive.
Instead of waiting for her to answer, he adds, “And you couldn’t decide that before the wedding day?”
“And how would you have reacted?” Olivia argues, her patience low and thin. “Better than now?”
“I don’t understand the sudden change,” he says.
“It’s not a sudden change.”
He furrows his brows. “You were in love with a man, no?”
“It’s called bisexuality,” I say for her, knowing that this is the part Olivia doesn’t want to talk to her dad about—the ins and outs of a sexual identity she’s just coming to terms with.
“So, not only are you going against all our religious beliefs, but you can be with a man and you’ve chosen not to?” he asks, the question so painfully hurtful, I feel Olivia flinch.
“I loved her first,” she says, standing, and with my hand in hers, I rise too. “For what it’s worth, I did love him for a time, but I stayed because it was the easier route. Because I knew this would be your line of thinking.
“We’re married,” she blurts out, and his face blanches. “It was a stranger with an online license who performed it, but it’s more real than that church wedding would’ve ever been.”
Olivia leads me away from her father, and with heavy steps, I follow dutifully. This is what I was afraid of. This isn’t what I want for her.
“Wait,” I say, tugging on her hand. “Just give me a second.”
“Lux.” She shakes her head, her chin trembling. “I just want to go back to your place—”
“Our place,” I correct. “And we will. I’ll be right back.”
With a heavy sigh, she releases my hand, and I give her a quick kiss on the forehead before running back to her father.
I slide back into the chair opposite him.
“Lux,” he says.
Clasping my hands together, I lean toward him, holding his gaze.
“Sir,” I say, my voice as steady as I can manage, pushing away the guilt in my gut. “I know this isn’t what you imagined for Olivia, but you raised a beautiful daughter. And if you’re hellbent on focusing on who she loves instead of loving her, you’re going to regret it.”
I feel a hand on my shoulder at the same time Ben’s gaze shifts to someone behind me.
“I know I don’t need your blessing, and it’s too late to ask for it, but I will make sure Olivia is happy every day of her life.” I cross my arm over my chest and reach for her hand. “But I know just how much happier she’ll be with you in her life.”
I don’t wait for a response, nor do I expect it, focusing instead on getting Olivia back home and in a safe space sooner rather than later. If he has anything further to say, he knows how to reach her.
Hand in hand, we leave the cafe and wordlessly make the short trip home. I don’t ask questions or push conversation, knowing how fragile she’s feeling and that she’ll speak to me in her own time.
It isn’t the ideal outcome, but we’d be living in denial if it had unfolded any other way. I just hope and pray that, unlike my parents, Ben’s love for Olivia is unconditional.
Unlocking our apartment door, I hold it open for Olivia and wait for her to cross the threshold, but she stops and turns to kiss me instead.
“Thank you,” she whispers.
Shuffling us out of the doorway, I let it close and then push her up against the wall, my hands firm on her hips.
“What for?” I ask before kissing her again.
Her mouth languidly melds with mine, our tongues lapping at one another.
In the week that’s passed, Olivia’s sexual appetite for me has been endless, and it makes me feel both invincible and cherished. Nobody has ever loved me like she does, and nobody ever will.
“For standing up for me,” she says. “For putting him in his place.”
My thumbs skate across her bare skin, toying with the waistband of her pants. “I told you I was all in. The highs and the lows, the good and the bad.”
She kisses down the length of my neck, sucking and licking at my collarbone before making her way back to my mouth.
“I love you, Lux,” she says, her gaze finally landing on mine. “Your beauty, your strength, your loyalty. You amaze me, and inspire me to live my very best life.”