14. Lancelot
LANCELOT
B y the time we got to my apartment, I’d worked myself up until I was ready to explode. I was angry with my brother, worried about what would happen to Julian, and unsure whether we could figure out a way to bring down the Carlottis. I was also horny as fuck.
I’d told Julian he could trust me. I told him I wouldn’t hurt him.
If I was going to succeed in that, I needed to put him in the guest room and walk away.
Yes, he’d responded when we’d kissed, and I’d seen desire in his eyes a few minutes ago before we left Remington’s house, but it would be best for me to keep my hands off him.
I had research to do and a big fucking problem to focus on.
Could I do that? I felt a connection with Julian I’d never felt with anyone else.
I longed to take him, to use him, to show him just how much I wanted him, but I knew I should solve the issue with the necklace first. Remington had finally said I wasn’t to blame for things going to hell, but I could’ve handled my assignment so much better if I’d done as instructed.
Instead, I went into the library angry at Remington and indulging my usual impulsiveness.
I’d gotten away with doing what I wanted time and time again, but I’d also fucked some things up good.
I wasn’t ready to admit that my older brother was always right. He wasn’t, but maybe I did need to learn to be serious some of the time.
I pulled into the parking garage next to my building on Julia Street.
“Does anyone care that you have a monkey living here?” Julian asked.
I smiled for the first time in hours. “I own the whole building, and trust me, keeping a monkey doesn’t even qualify as eccentric in this part of New Orleans.”
“Will I get to meet any of these interesting neighbors?”
“Possibly, but not tonight.”
When I pulled out my keys and started to unlock the door, Tony leapt from my shoulder onto Julian’s.
“Hi there, little guy,” Julian said in a sweet baby voice. I glanced over my shoulder and saw him petting Tony on the head. Seeing them like that, knowing Julian was willing to accept Tony, tightened something in my chest. I chose not to linger too long on that feeling.
“I’ve got some of my men watching your place. We’ll go get some of your stuff tomorrow, but for tonight, you can wear one of my t-shirts and some boxers. I’ll show you the guest room.”
My words were stilted, and I felt awkward around Julian now that we were in my home. That was an alien feeling for me. Charming people came easily. I didn’t usually need to work to make them feel comfortable.
“Guest room?”
I turned to look at him. “Did you think I was going to toss you into a cell?”
“No, I thought…” Color rose in his cheeks.
Tony began chattering loudly. I plucked him from Julian’s shoulder, set him down, and told him to head to bed. He scowled at me before taking off in the direction of my bedroom.
I stepped closer to Julian, my heart beating fast. “You thought what?”
He ran his teeth over his lower lip and shook his head.
Instinct had me crowding into his space. I gripped his chin and forced him to look up at me. “Tell me.” My voice was low, rough, and demanding.
“I thought that if I was going to be stuck here, we could at least finish what we started earlier in the car.”
Holy Jesus. My cock went from interested to rock hard in seconds. I’d known there was so much more to Julian than how he appeared in the library. I’d felt it in the car when I’d kissed him and he’d climbed on top of me eagerly, but I’d never expected this.
I put my hands on his hips and pulled his body against mine, letting him feel my erection. “Is that what you want?”
Julian groaned. “Yes.”
“You want me to fuck you, to drive all of this deep inside you?”
“I don’t know… Oh God.”
I pulled back and looked at him. His pupils were huge, and if his pants had been as tight as I wished they were, he might have split the seams. He wanted this, but something was off.
“What is it? Tell me.”
“I… I don’t usually… I did once, and it was…”
I released his hips and laid my hands on his shoulders.
“Take a deep breath and talk to me. You can say anything. I know how to keep secrets.”
He looked away, and I cupped his neck and bent to run my tongue along his jaw, making him shiver. “Julian. I know you’re not what you seem.”
“I don’t usually bottom.”
That surprised me. I’d felt such a need to surrender in him, but it also made me smile. “I don’t always top.”
He looked at me then, eyes wide with shock. “Seriously?”
I nodded.
“You’d… you’d let me…”
I smiled. “There’d be no letting you. I’d demand it.”
I watched the muscles of his throat work as he tried to speak, swallowed, then made a second attempt. “I want what you said, but I… It’s never been good for me.”
“You want me to fuck you?”
“I want…” He looked away. “Shit, I can’t do this.”
I seized his face, forcing him to look at me. He sucked in his breath when I took charge. I’d been right. He did want to surrender. “Tell me exactly what you want. What do you fantasize about? What do you think about when your hand is around your dick?”
“You.”
Jesus. I didn’t think I could get any harder, but I’d been wrong. The idea that he’d jerked off thinking of me—that no matter how much I’d pissed him off he wanted me—was so fucking hot. “What did I do to you in your fantasies?”
“Y-you forced me.”
My brain went offline for a few seconds. It was like he’d been made for me. I had no idea stiff librarians were my type, no idea that the concept of a sex kitten hidden underneath a khakis-and-cardigan exterior was a real thing, not just something from porn. “Tell me more.”
He shook his head, and I pushed into him, forcing him to step backward or fall. I kept moving until his back was against the wall, then I slapped my hands down on either side of his head, caging him in.
“Tell me.”
“I can’t.”
I didn’t move. I didn’t speak. I just held his gaze, letting him see how much I wanted him, letting him know I wasn’t going to back down.
“You pinned me down, held my wrists, teased me, and told me I couldn’t move without permission, then you…” He paused and licked his lips. It was all I could do not to lean in and taste him. I wanted to push into his mouth and suck his tongue like I would his cock.
“More. Keep talking.”
“You sucked me off, but it was like you were forcing me to let you, like I wasn’t in control at all. Like I…”
I leaned close, my lips nearly touching his. “Like you what?”
“Like I belonged to you.”
“You do.”
He shook his head. “I’ll stay with you until?—”
“No. You belong to me now, and I’m going to give you exactly what you want.”
He whimpered as I kissed him. I took his wrists, dragged his arms above his head, and pinned them there as I worked my hips against his, rubbing our hard cocks together.
I liked that he was as tall as me, and I could match his body so perfectly.
He squirmed under me, not exactly struggling but not surrendering.
He would, though. He would give in to me.
He would let me fulfill this fantasy for him.
“Like that?” I asked as I pulled back.
A few seconds passed before his eyes fluttered open. He stared at me as if he hadn’t comprehended my words. Then he nodded. “Yeah, like that.”
“Fuck the guest room. You’re coming with me.” I took his hand and pulled him toward my bedroom.
Tony was curled up in his bed. I wondered if he would wake.
He’d be pissed off if I kicked him out of the room, but nothing, not even my precious baby, was going to disturb us.
I’d never brought a man back here. This was my home, my place, the one thing I’d bought myself without any help or input from my family, and it was Tony’s home too, but he was going to have to get used to Julian.
He already seemed to have forgiven Julian for slighting him when they first met.
I positioned Julian in front of me and pushed at his chest until he fell backwards onto my bed with a gasp. I knelt between his legs, pushing them open, then grabbed his arms and pinned him down again as I lay over him.
“You’re mine. I can do whatever I want with you, and you’re going to submit to it.”
Julian stared at me, mouth hanging open. “I… Oh God, I don’t know if I…”
I ignored him, hands going to the fastenings of his jeans. I opened them quickly, gripped the waistband, and yanked them and his boxer briefs down his legs. His cock was fucking gorgeous: hard, red, and needy with precum dripping from the slit.
I couldn’t resist wrapping my hand around him and bending to swipe my tongue over his head. He cried out, and I knew I could make him come in no time if I gave him my mouth, but I didn’t want this to go that fast. “I know what you need. Let me give it to you.”
“Don’t know if… if I can.”
“Just let go. You can enjoy this. You fucking deserve it.”
“Make me. Make me take what you give.”
He looked so vulnerable, scared yet determined.
I knew that feeling. My brothers thought I wasn’t afraid of anything, that I just leapt into danger, but they were wrong.
I was scared much of the time, but I knew if I held back, I’d never find the courage, so I just did things before I thought too much.
“I will. I won’t give you any choices. Don’t move.”
I ripped off my jacket, my holster, shirt, pants, everything until I was naked.
Julian watched me, eyes big, appreciation clear on his face.
I ran a hand over my chest and down over my stomach.
I didn’t have a six-pack like Remington.
I was stockier, built differently, more like our father, but I was confident in the way I looked, and I could tell Julian was all about it.
“You want to get your hands on me, don’t you?”
He gave a tentative nod.
“Tell me.”
“I want… I want to touch you.”
“Be good for me, do what I say, and I’ll let you.”
He groaned, biting his lip and turning it white with the pressure from his teeth.
I pulled off his shoes and socks and yanked his pants the rest of the way down his legs, throwing them onto the floor.
“Sit up.” I yanked his t-shirt over his head, baring him fully to me.
He was beautiful, pale, lean, his nipples deeply pink.
I wondered how he’d react to me sucking on them.
I was going to find out. I was going to hear every delicious sound he could make, and I was going to torment him and pleasure him until he fell apart.
I wrapped my hands around his wrists again, holding them even tighter this time.
I worked our hips together. He struggled, fighting me, and I loved it.
I wanted him to fight back. I wanted this to be rough and hard.
After the day we’d both had, we needed that kind of release.
He deserved everything he’d ever fantasized about.
I’d sworn I wouldn’t hurt him. And I wouldn’t, not in any real way. I’d leave him with some bite marks, maybe some bruises on his wrists or his hips from my tight grip. My instincts told me he would treasure those memories of what we’d done.
He was leaking so much precum it made sliding my cock along his feel incredible.
He arched his hips, and I couldn’t tell if he was reaching for more or trying to shove me off.
He might not have been sure himself. He wouldn’t succeed in the latter, and if he thought he was going to come anytime soon, he was wrong.
So wrong. He said he wanted to finish what we started, and we would, but I was going to take my time.