25. Lancelot
LANCELOT
J ulian looked utterly wrecked, his lips red and swollen, his face glossy with cum, spit trailing down his neck. I wanted to lick him clean. I wanted to wrap him up and hold him. I wanted to keep him.
I would keep him. He was mine. No one was going to hurt him, and I was never going to let him go.
“Are you all right, baby?”
He gave a barely there nod against my thigh. I wanted to pull him back onto my lap, difficult as that was in the confined space. I wanted to hold him. I wanted to tell him how I felt, but I didn’t want to scare him.
He wasn’t scared when you stuffed your dick down his throat and wouldn’t let him breathe. You think he’s going to be scared now?
But there was a big difference between enjoying sex together, being well matched in bed—or in a car you borrowed—and wanting to truly be with someone, to stay with them… to love them.
I didn’t know if he was ready to hear what I was feeling, and I wasn’t going to misstep this time.
I always dove right in and took exactly what I wanted.
Hell, I’d been doing that with Julian from the moment I’d met him, but not with this.
This time I was going to have some restraint.
I could wait until the exact right moment to tell him my heart was in this too.
“We should drive back.” Julian’s voice was no more than a whisper, roughened by the way I’d abused him.
I wished I had a bottle of water with me.
Remington would. He would have everything he needed at hand.
He would’ve made a list before taking Henri out, but would he have had this much fun?
Maybe now with Henri, but before that, never.
Henri was good for him, and I was beginning to believe Julian was good for me.
“We should head back, but not until you’re ready.”
“How are you so… calm?”
“Baby, I’m nowhere near calm. I’ve just learned how to fake it when I’m in a dangerous situation.”
“This is a dangerous situation? Because someone could catch us?”
“No, babe, because of you.”
“Me? I’m so not dangerous. I couldn’t even keep you out of my house, and when there was someone in the library?—”
“You’re dangerous to me. To my sanity and my self-control. If I let myself go, I’m going to fuck you right here, and this isn’t the right time.”
He sat up and looked at me then. “Do you seriously want me that much?”
“How can you doubt that after what you just did to me?” He looked at me quizzically, and I wondered if he realized how close to losing all my control I’d been.
He probably thought I’d let go like he had, but I’d been holding back to keep from hurting him.
“I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything. ”
“I want you too. I don’t know why.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at that.
“I guess that sounded…” He covered his mouth, then he laughed too. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. You’ve said it before. I’m an arrogant asshole. I get what I want. I don’t listen to anyone. I have a pet monkey. I’m not always an easy guy to like.”
“And yet somehow…”
“Somehow what?” My heart pounded. I felt eager in a way I hadn’t for anything that didn’t involve violence in a long time.
“Somehow you’re easier to get to know than anyone I’ve met before. It usually takes me a long time to get close to anyone. I mean…” He gestured between the two of us. “This counts as close, right?”
I leaned down and kissed him ferociously, loving the way I could taste myself on him. I licked his chin, sucked on his lips, and seized his mouth once more. He whimpered and clung to me. I reached between his legs and started working his cock. He was already hard and ready for more.
“Come here. Let me taste you.” I slid down farther in the seat, and somehow he managed to position himself above me. I sucked him, licked him, pleasured him until he shattered, pouring himself into my mouth.
We managed to untangle ourselves once we could both breathe again. I positioned a mostly asleep Julian in the passenger seat and let my phone’s GPS guide us back to Beau’s shop. When we arrived, I realized I didn’t really remember the drive.
Julian’s eyes fluttered open when I stopped the car. “Thank you. This car… it’s like a dream.”
“We’ll do this again.” He smiled, but I could tell he didn’t believe me. I meant it, though.
“Beau will sell the car and…”
I bit back what I wanted to say. “Then we’ll borrow a different one. We’ll drive all the cars. Test them out for him.”
Julian smiled. “I don’t think he’s going to let us do that.”
“We brought this one back safe and sound.” Beau was lucky. Sex with Julian was intoxicating. I doubt I should have driven when I was that high on him.
Julian unbuckled his seatbelt and reached for the door handle.
“Are you going to be able to walk?”
He smiled. “Yes, but I hope I won’t be able to later.”
I sucked in my breath. “You want more?”
“You said we needed a bed to do what you wanted. We’ll have a bed at your house. We are going back there, right?”
“Right.” The idea that he was that eager to be with me, to give me something he hadn’t wanted to give other men, something he’d had a bad experience with before made my chest feel tight.
I wasn’t going to let him down. I was going to protect him, care for him, love him.
I wanted to tell him he was mine, but I swallowed those words.
I could take this slowly. I didn’t have to jump in and dive down to the bottom with no plan and no gear. Not this time. This was too important.
I opened my door and circled the car to help Julian out.
Despite his reassurance, I wasn’t at all certain he was going to be steady on his feet, especially considering how little sleep he’d had the night before.
I brushed his hair off his forehead and stroked his cheek.
“You’re staying at my house. I won’t let you be alone. ”
“Until all of this is over. Until I’m safe again.”
“Until I say you can go.” Which was going to be never. “I want you stretched out on my bed, open for me, ready for anything, but I know you’re tired. We don’t have to rush.”
“I don’t want to miss my opportunity. You have to move quickly to get rid of your enemies, so I might not get many more chances. I want to know if it really can feel as good as you say.”
“Oh, baby, it can. It will, and you can have all the chances you want.”
“How do you know you’ll want…” He looked away, and I hated the sadness in his eyes. Before I could answer him, Beau called out to us.
“You really did bring her back in one piece.”
“I told you we would.”
He laughed. “If I’d really thought you wouldn’t, I would never have given her to you.”
“Asshole.”
“Are you disparaging my man?” Corbin asked. Tony leapt from his shoulder and ran to me.
“He’s disparaging me,” I said as I scooped up the little monkey.
“I can’t blame him,” Corbin said. He turned to Julian. “Did he treat you right?”
Julian coughed and cleared his throat, and I was sure he was thinking about exactly how well I’d treated him just a little while ago. “Yeah. Um… yes. He’s keeping me safe.”
Corbin glanced at me and then back to Julian. “If you have any issues with him, come stay with Beau and me. We’re pretty good at protection.”
“No,” I snarled. “Julian stays with me.”
Julian reached out and laid a hand on my arm. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to hold me back because he sensed the anger racing through me at Corbin’s suggestion or if he was letting me know that he wasn’t about to leave me. I hoped it was the latter.
Corbin rolled his eyes. “The offer still stands. I might be smaller than him, but I’m even deadlier.”
I huffed. “Like hell you are.”
Beau just crossed his arms and flexed his muscles.
“Yeah, yeah. You’re scary as hell. I get it. No one would dare cross you, not even scary, drug-running mobsters who think they own everything. Never.”
“So that’s what we’re up against? Some organized crime family that even scares you?”
“I didn’t say anything about being scared, but I’m also not stupid. If these guys weren’t the real deal, we’d have taken them out long before now just for daring to steal something in our territory.”
Julian rolled his eyes. “Of course you’d be territorial. I can just imagine you marking the boundaries with your scent.”
Corbin and Beau laughed so hard I was worried they’d hurt themselves. I stared at Julian. “Are you calling me a dog?”
Corbin wiped tears from his eyes. “Maybe he thinks you’re a werewolf.”
“Don’t push it, Corbin.”
Julian shook his head at our antics. “You’re just so… big alpha male commanding his territory.”
“Damn right I am.” Julian was my man, and no one else could have him. I laid my hand over his where he’d kept it on my arm. “Are you ready to go home, baby?”
I noted the way Corbin’s eyebrows went up at the term of endearment. “He’s mine. I’m not fucking around about that.”
“So that’s how it is?” Beau said.
“Yes.” I glanced at Julian. He was staring at me like he couldn’t believe what I’d said. I’d meant to be less of a caveman, but he brought that out in me.
He didn’t seem to mind. He made no move to pull away, though maybe that was because he was so tired.
“Thank you for letting us borrow the car,” Julian said, looking at Beau.
“You’re welcome. It seems like you’re a good influence on Lance, so anytime you want another ride, you just let me know.”
I snarled at Beau. He was deliberately turning on the charm and flirting with my man. Corbin didn’t care. He was laughing, and I knew Beau wasn’t serious. He was just trying to get to me, but I wanted to punch the shit out of him.
Instead, I took Julian’s hand in mine and pulled him toward my car. “It’s time we got out of here. I need to get you home.”
“Home sounds good.” He had that breathy catch in his voice again, the one he’d had right after I’d made him come.
My dick was telling me Julian wasn’t going to get a lot of sleep tonight either. I’d have to convince him to stay home from work tomorrow so he could rest.