26. Julian
JULIAN
I fidgeted in my seat and watched Lance as he drove us back to his condo. I’d been lost in a haze of lust when I’d insisted he fuck me immediately if not sooner.
Now I’d had time to think about what that really meant. Lance. Inside me. Forcing me to submit to everything. I was nervous as fuck, though I was also hard despite having come twice already.
What if it wasn’t good? What if I freaked out? What if…
Lance grabbed my hand. “Whatever you’re thinking, stop.”
“I really am a nerdy librarian. The way I behaved when we…”
“No.”
“Lance!”
“No. You’re not solely either one. Nerdy librarian or sex kitten.” I choked at the term sex kitten, but Lance just grinned. “You’re both. I like it that way. I like both sides of you.
“But you said?—”
“I said I loved you like that when you were rubbing yourself against my dick and begging to be fucked.”
“So I can’t take anything you say during sex seriously?”
“Right.” He shook his head. “No.”
“Which is it?”
“Go with your gut.”
“My gut is telling me to jump out of this car and run.”
“Then ignore it and listen to me.”
“But you just said?—”
“Forget that.”
Tony jumped up and down in his little seat, and I would have sworn he was agreeing with Lance and telling me I couldn’t leave. “Don’t worry, Tony. I’m not going to run. I know I can’t take on whoever these men are that may be after me.”
Lance frowned. “There’s no may about it.”
“But you don’t know for sure if they’ve connected me to the hiding place.”
“No, but now that you’ve been seen with me, you’re most definitely in danger.”
“What?”
He pulled into his parking spot, and neither of us spoke as we got out of the car. Tony settled on Lance’s shoulder, and I seethed as we climbed the steps. By the time Lance closed the door behind us, I was ready to explode.
“You told me that by staying with you I would be safe. You said this was better than me being on my own, that you could protect me. Now you’re telling me you’ve put me in more danger.”
“This is the safest thing for you. I wasn’t going to take any chances. We had to assume they would connect you to the necklace and assume you were involved.”
“But if I’d stayed away from you, if they never connected us…”
“We don’t know what would’ve happened, but we do know you would’ve been unprotected.”
I turned toward the door, and he grabbed my arm. “You can’t leave.”
“Dammit, Lance. I’m not your prisoner. I’m not?—”
He wrapped his hands around my biceps and pushed me back until I hit the wall. I struggled against his hold, but I knew I couldn’t get free. I lifted my knee, intending to slam it between his legs, but he dodged the move and pressed against me, pinning me with the length of his body.
“I’m not letting you leave. These men don’t care about anything but themselves. The things they would do to you…” He shook his head as if trying to clear images from his mind.
I looked into his eyes, expecting to see anger, but I saw pain and what I thought might be fear instead. It was difficult for me to imagine Lance being afraid of anything.
I tried to draw in a breath, but my chest felt too tight. “You should’ve told me.”
“It wouldn’t have made any difference. I would still have insisted you stay here.
” He rubbed his thumb along my jaw. I didn’t want to like it.
I didn’t want to like him. I wanted to hold onto my feelings of anger and betrayal.
I wanted to be afraid of him like any sensible person would be, but my body had reacted with desire from the moment he’d shoved me against the wall. He had me so mixed up.
“You need me.” His voice was low and rough.
“Need your protection or need…”
“Both.”
He was right. I wanted to go back to a time when I wasn’t filled with these chaotic emotions, and yet I’d never felt pleasure like what he gave me.
He’d made me come so hard I nearly blacked out, but what I felt was more than that.
It was freeing to be with him. I didn’t have to worry about all the rules I’d made for myself.
I didn’t have to keep up the facade I used to get through the day.
With Lance, I could be interested in minute technicalities of historical document preservation while also longing for a man to pin me against the wall and force me to do what he wanted.
I licked my lips and met his gaze again. “I don’t want to argue.”
He raised a brow. “Are you sure?”
He was smiling now. The concern and fear had vanished. I wondered if his earlier anger had all been directed at himself instead of me. There was nothing in his eyes now but heat, so much heat.
“I’m sure. I just want…” He shifted his grip down to my wrists then dragged them over my head as he leaned against me, letting me feel how very much he wanted me.
I was just as hard as he was, and I fought to stay still rather than rutting against him.
As much as I wanted him, I also didn’t want to give in.
I didn’t want him to see how much of a slut I really was for him.
“Do you want to do exactly what I say?” he asked.
I shook my head.
“Bullshit.”
He kissed me before I could form a response. The second he did, fire burned through me. I could no longer pretend I didn’t want this as much as he did. I couldn’t hold back anything. I struggled against his hold, but not because I wanted to stop. I wanted my hands free so I could touch him.
As I fought him, I rubbed our cocks together and cursed the layers of fabric between us. I wanted him naked against me, wanted to feel all of him, the heat of his skin, the precum I was sure was leaking from his cock.
He pulled away and stared at me as we both panted. Then, without warning, he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. “I’m taking you to bed now. We’re not waiting anymore.”
He dropped me onto the mattress hard enough to make me bounce. Before I could get my bearings, he was on top of me, pushing me back and spreading my legs with his hips. Just as his mouth crashed down on mine again, I felt the vibration of his phone against my leg.
“Ignore it,” he ordered.
That wasn’t too difficult considering he was forcing my mouth open and pushing his tongue into me like he was fucking me with it. His phone stopped buzzing, but it immediately started up again. He growled and sat back, jerking it from his pocket.
“Fuck. It’s Remington.”
I dropped an arm over my eyes, closing them and trying to force my body to settle. Why the hell did Remington have to call now?