Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
“With... you?”
Jane blinked, realizing her mistake moments too late.
“Oh – no. No! What I meant was... with us. Reuben and I. I think it is important to spend some time with him, so that he can feel as though he is being thoroughly cared for. He is a child who, up until recently, only had you. I want him to be aware of just how much you love him.” She explained hastily.
“I think we spend enough time together –”
“Hardly, Your Grace,” Jane cut him off swiftly. “How many times a day do you actually see him? Do you actually speak with him?”
“It is hard to do so when he never responds,” Thomas snapped, looking irritated.
“Then you can speak ‘to’ him. He’ll listen. If that is all he does, it counts for something. You cannot dismiss him simply because he is not reacting the way you expect.”
The look he gave her was the coldest she’d ever received from him. Fear started to take root within her but Jane resisted, determined to stand her ground.
“You know nothing about us. Do not presume to understand him perfectly when you have only been here for a handful of days.” He told her, his tone cold and sharp.
Jane shook her head slowly. “I have no desire to be presumptuous, Thomas. He is a child. He only knows what he sees and hears. I and everyone else in this house knows that you love him. We are sure of it, every day that we wake up and interact with you both separately. But does he know that? Does he know that I am here because you asked me to come with you? Does he know that the reason he felt comfortable enough to say that single word to me was because you brought someone who would listen to the silence and fill the air around him with words he might like to hear? You are as responsible for the single utterance we heard from him, even more so than I am. So... I implore you. Just, one meal, for now. Then we will see how we can orchestrate a single mealtime interaction each day.”
Thomas regarded her with a look that spoke of disbelief and confusion in loud volumes and for a moment, Jane feared he might turn down her request.
Then he exhaled deeply, his expression one of annoyance as he pointed out,
“He might not wish to speak to me. He can barely even stand the look of me on most days. What am I to do when that happens?”
“Well, it is a good thing I will be there, perfectly capable of holding a conversation with either of you,” Jane smiled innocently.
He made a noise that sounded like a grunt, before he turned away and began walking past Reuben’s door. Jane, unwilling to relent, called after him,
“Shall we say at breakfast tomorrow?”
She was worried he would not answer but he replied,
“Perhaps.”
“Set an extra place for the duke and Lord Wetherby at the table today for breakfast,” Jane had instructed the housekeeper right after she had awoken from her slumber.
The older woman had looked at her as though she could not fathom what had brought about such an event, but nonetheless, there were three places set by the time Jane had arrived in the dining hall with Reuben.
She had gone to get him from his room once she was ready for the day and had eagerly told him that they would be having breakfast together.
In an effort to surprise him, she did not mention that the duke would join them, but Reuben was clearly eager to spend the morning with her.
So much so, he nearly failed to put on his shoes before he left his room.
Jane’s heart was filled with warmth and light as he reached for her hand once he was fully dressed, leading the way out the door like a gentleman.
When they arrived at the dining table, Jane helped him into a chair, tucking a napkin into his collar to keep him from dirtying his clothes while they ate before she settled down on his right side.
The duke was nowhere in sight, and a wave of frustration nearly overtook her, but she willed herself to be patient.
It was likely not an easy thing for him to subject himself to the gathering when it was clear that he was greatly disturbed by Reuben’s constant choice to ignore him.
Jane could only imagine the bitterness within his heart and she hoped that this.
.. them sharing a meal together would bring them closer.
“We’ll just wait another five minutes darling, and then we’ll dig in,” she promised gently to Reuben who appeared content to simply stare at her.
Jane beamed at him softly, lightly tapping his nose with the tip of her finger, grinning when he giggled.
“Good morning, Your Grace.”
Jane turned around in time to see the servants greet the duke as he walked into the dining room, her cheeks heating up for reasons unbeknownst to her when their eyes met.
“Duchess,” Thomas greeted as he settled down in the spot that had been arranged for him on Reuben’s left side, nodding with a small smile. “Lord Wetherby. Good morning to you both.”
Reuben regarded his father with mild curiosity but said nothing, so Jane spoke up for the both of them.
“And a good morning to you, as well. I hope you had a pleasant night’s rest,” she said, unfurling her napkin to spread it on her lap.
“Did you? I have never asked, my apologies,” he expressed suddenly.
“I,” she blinked. “I do not know what you are apologizing for. Or why.”
“It just occurred to me that I do not know if you have been sleeping well here. It is an odd thought; you must please ignore it –”
“I have. My nights are always restful. Thank you, Your Grace.” She told him earnestly.
Thomas nodded, shifting his attention to Reuben. After glancing at his son, he surveyed the spread of food that had been served for breakfast, then picked a sausage with his fork and lowered it onto the child’s plate.
“Eat, Reuben. You need to eat well in order to grow well.”
The boy regarded the plate with mild disdain before turning to Jane and pointing to it. Jane glanced at the plate for a moment, then took the sausage and placed it into her plate, replacing it with ham for Reuben. She cut it into little pieces and told him softly,
“There you go, little one.”
Reuben picked up his fork and began to eat, where as, Thomas filled up his cup with some coffee, downing half of it in moments. Jane tried to look as kind as possible as she said,
“He prefers ham. And pancakes – but with jam instead of syrup.”
“That’s an odd preference,” Thomas scoffed.
“He is a child. They can be picky or they could love different kinds of foods. Ultimately, he is much better than a child who refuses to eat at all. He is healthy and we will appreciate that,” Jane told him, hoping he understood that she wasn’t trying to belittle him.
Thomas sighed and offered Reuben a pancake. The boy looked at it and then at his father for a brief moment before turning to face Jane. She smiled at him, sending an apologetic expression to Thomas before she cut up the pancake for him.
“Even when I get it right, he ignores me. This was pointless,” Thomas grumbled, serving himself some eggs.
“It has barely been ten minutes since we began eating. He isn’t used to you being by his side. Give him some time –”
“But I have been here. For the past three years, I was here. But just like now, I was as unimportant to him as I am now. No matter what I do, it doesn’t make a difference.”
Jane huffed and lowered her utensils, before reaching out to cover Reuben’s ears with her hands.
“Firstly, I think it would be best if we stopped speaking about him as though he is not here. He is not hard of hearing; he just doesn’t want to speak.
We must be mindful of how we act and speak around him.
Secondly, Thomas, he is a child. I do not think he is doing this – refusing to acknowledge you out of some.
.. malicious intent. You are his father and I am certain he knows that.
I am not a parent, I have never been, but I do have some experience with caring for children.
They love to be the centre of attention, to feel seen.
I know that you have hoped that he and I would grow close, but that is no excuse to neglect him completely. And if this was how you avoided him –”
Thomas rose out of his chair, cutting her off. Reuben jumped slightly at the sudden movement, and looked up at his father, his expression one of confusion. Thomas stared at him for a moment, then he walked away without uttering a word.
Jane sighed as she lowered her hands, feeling bad as she parted her lips to lie to the child,
“Do not fret, darling. Your father has some urgent business to handle, so he needed to leave. I am certain you will see him later.”
Reuben nodded, reaching for his glass of orange juice, continuing with his meal as though nothing was wrong.
They ate together in silence, with Jane occasionally checking to ensure he was doing just fine.
Once the meal was over, Miss Becker came to collecting and Jane said goodbye for the moment, promising to find him later.
She had intending to explore the house and see if the changes she had made were looking as good as she had hoped they would, but when she left the dining hall, the housekeeper was waiting for her with a look of pity.
“Do not feel too disappointed, Your Grace. I imagine the duke felt... a little out of depth. He is not used to anyone having expectations from him. He does his best, and he is a wonderful duke, but he has lived quite a sad life. That usually wears down a person’s ability to trust anyone.
Even themselves,” she told her quietly as she fell into step by Jane’s side.
“I do not understand,” Jane admitted. “I thought... I thought that without his mother, Reuben would be attached to his father. With the duke being his only living parent, they should be inseparable. But Reuben barely looks at him. If I were his father, I would feel hurt too, but I am also surprised that the duke is not more involved in Reuben’s daily life. ”
“I suppose he finds it difficult doing something he’s never committed himself to doing in the past. The late duchess.
.. she was not fond of the duke. Or her son.
Each time she crossed paths with the duke, arguments would be heard for hours, consistently.
We tried to help her develop a bond with the little lord, but she seemed to detest him as well.
In a bid not to upset the duchess, His Grace steered clear of her.
They did not share any meals, did not cross paths – intentionally or otherwise.
They could not even stand to be in the same room.
And because most of the time, Lord Wetherby was close to the duchess’ side, the duke avoided him too.
So... you are not wrong. They are quite unfamiliar with each other.
“After her passing... His Grace did try. He did what he could to ensure that Lord Wetherby would not feel alone. But it is a tiring, heartbreaking thing, not to be seen by one’s ward.
His frustrations are a humane reaction to all that he has encountered.
The duke has endured much more – and I cannot divulge all of his life’s story.
But I implore you. Do not give up on either of them. Especially not the duke.”
Once the older woman had said her piece, she walked away, clearly having other things she needed to attend to. Jane sighed, retiring to the library to distract herself for a few hours at least.
When she arrived, she picked a book she had read well over four times, because she needed something easy to give her time to, without it being too difficult a task. And then she settled in the corner she had been told was favoured by the duke.
She had changed the chair because it had been worn out and replaced it with a soft velvet arm chair. Once she sank in into the cushions, her mind wandered off, trying to think of what she could do to bring the duke and his son closer.
Reuben was not used to having his father around much, so she understood his reluctance to simply accept his presence. However, it would be for naught if the duke were to give up instead of trying harder.
“What they need... is a proper chance to get to know each other better. I need to find a means to bring them together. Perhaps a shared interest? No... I barely know them well enough for that to work,” she mused to herself.
She felt frustrated. Although it was not what was expected of her, she did not wish to leave it be. She could not bear to.
Perhaps because she saw her own strained relationship with her mother in them. If someone else had approached her mother and pointed out how much she had hurt – and would likely cause even more pain to Jane, would Harriet have listened? Would their lives be different? She would never know.
But it was not too late for Reuben and his father. The poor child did not need to lose both parents.
“What can I do?” she groaned, rising to her feet.
She wished she could visit her friend Nora. She was wonderful with children, although she had not birthed her own yet. Nora had been a benefactor for an orphanage home for a while and she cared for each of them as though they were her own. Jane knew she might have some invaluable advice for her.
Unfortunately, she had yet to return, which meant Jane was on her own for the time being.
As she paced back and forth by the window, she continued to think, nearly praying to be struck by divine inspiration. Then, she caught sight of something outside the window and her feet came to a stop on the carpet.
She peered through the window, her brows furrowed in concentration, raising when she realized what she was seeing.
There was a lake that ran along the edge of the estate, its water shimmering beautifully beneath the sun. As Jane wondered how she had not noticed it before, an idea formed in her mind.
Maybe... just maybe, that work.
Clapping her hands in excitement, she quickly left the library, eager to begin preparations to carry out her plans.