Chapter 25 #2
“I know, but you need to calm yourself. You are upset and worried but you will not be much help unless you think of this problem objectively. Are you certain it would not be better to fetch your duchess? She might have an idea of where he might be,” Edward pointed out.
Thomas could hardly disagree with the logic of that suggestion, but he had to fix this himself. He was responsible for this problem, so it was only expected that he worked to rectify it himself.
“There is no need to do that. I will find him myself,” he said firmly. “You can either help, or stay out of my way.”
Edward sighed tiredly, muttering something to himself that Thomas knew for certain was a curse upon him, before he nodded ahead of them.
“Fine, then. Lead the way.”
“Out of all the miseries and plagues I could have been struck by, I had the misfortune of being punished with a fool of a daughter. What could I have done to deserve such cruelty?”
Jane fought hard not to tell her father that perhaps it was his tasteless and vile attitude, in addition to his abject refusal to keep his attention on his own affairs that had rewarded him with such a fate.
Unfortunately, after a week of listening to his rage-fueled complaints, she had come to understand it was better to let him say his piece and tire himself out.
“I have never imagined that such a nitwit could exist. You had everything you could ever want in that marriage. A title and he did not require an heir from you. But, like the blithe I have always known that you are, you went forward and ruined it all with your own hands! Know this, girl – I have no intention of housing a spinster!” Arthur snapped, wagging a finger in her face.
“You do not have to, father,” Jane sighed, wondering why she had to listen to his rambling when she had better things to do.
Like miss the warmth of her husband’s touch and the sweet smile of her son.
But... they were never hers. And they never would be. That life was behind her.
“I beg your pardon?”
Jane sighed and faced her father properly.
“You do not have to provide for me. I have my dowry – I can simply use it to start a life of my own. You mustn’t act as though you have been struck by some punishment,” she told him, looking as though she had grown bored of the conversation.
“That!” he sputtered, his face red with anger.
“It was extremely disrespectful for the duke to give you back your dowry instead of returning it to me! I was the one who paid it, believing that the union between him and my daughter would last – an obvious mistake, given your inability to do what is asked of you. You will return it to me right away or will throw you out of this house! You think that meagre sum will sustain you forever? Do you believe any self-respecting man would marry you knowing you have been cast aside by a duke and that you were disowned by your parents?”
Jane was not surprised that her father still did not realize that she was in a position where she could not lose. She had the resources to start anew and the idea of there being no man who would find her desirable for marriage sounded like a dream come true.
Not that she would have wanted anyone other than Thomas.
But of course, Arthur only cared about himself, what people thought and perceived of him.
She glanced to the side at her mother who had been silently watched the altercation.
Harriet had said nothing to Jane since her return – although frankly, Jane was unsure if she would like to hear anything her mother wished to tell her, because she had it in good authority to believe it would undoubtedly upset her.
Still... she was disappointed that her mother had not tried to question her well-being or offer her any support. In the days since Jane had returned to the family house, Harriet had not said anything to her thar was not an echo of her husband’s disappointment.
“Mother,” Jane called out quietly. “What do you think? About all of this?”
Harriet seemed surprised by the sudden request and after glancing between her daughter and husband, she lowered her gaze for a moment, then raised it again.
“Jane... your father is right. It is not an easy feat, providing for one’s household and we had hoped that we would have no reason to worry about you anymore. But this situation has been disappointing, to say the least,” she said calmly.
For once, Jane was not angry or disappointed at her mother. She already knew what to expect, already understood that this was who her mother was and knew that Harriet was more concerned with standing by her husband than how her daughter felt.
And so, Jane felt that she could finally decide on what to do next. In the days she spent here, she felt as though she was waiting for some sort of nudge in the direction she wanted to go.
Finally, she had received the nudge she was waiting for.
“All right. I see that is how you feel. I will give you what you have always wanted and relieve you of the stress of looking after me and I will leave this house, just as you have hoped that I would. The thought of staying here any longer feels like a death wish anyway, so I suppose this is a better alternative for us all,” Jane announced, turning around.
“J-Jane,” Harriet reached out to stop her.
“Do not be so hasty. We are not trying to toss you out on the street – we would never want that for our child. You do not need to leave. If – if you would just give your father the dowry, he will eventually come to forgive the mistakes that led to the destruction of your marriage –”
“You know nothing of my marriage, so do not speak like you do!” Jane snapped angrily.
“You have not once tried to ask for my side of things since I returned – because you would rather remain on father’s good side than show some actual concern for me.
Even though you do not agree with him. I know that is not who you are, and that you have somehow convinced yourself that this is the only way for you to live.
But I am sick of seeing you like this. I am tired of being hurt at father’s expense, of feeling like an insignificant stranger to my own mother, because she prefers to be a sheep with no thoughts of her own.
That is not a life I want and I am sick of witnessing the effects of your choice. I am leaving, and that is final.”
Without another word to either of her parents, she left the room and walked out of the drawing room, nearly colliding with a familiar face.
“I'm sorry, Lady Fenwell. This man claims to be –”
“James?” Jane sputtered, dismissing the butler’s concerned apologies. “What – why are you here?”
Her husband’s valet looked haggard, as though he had been through an immensely stressful situation and it filled Jane with anxiety.
“It’s Lord Wetherby, Your Grace,” James reported. “He’s gone missing.”