Chapter 70
Dianna
L ight, bright and shimmering, darted past the window. I zipped up my jacket and practically ran down the steps. The thick boots Neverra had given me made me a little slower. I rushed into the kitchen and abruptly stopped near the island as he rounded the corner.
“You were able to get away?”
The grin on his face deepened. “You asked. I made it work.”
I hadn’t realized how much I wanted this until I heard those words. Relief flooded through me, and I smiled back.
His brows furrowed, and for a moment, I thought he would tell me it was all a joke. I waited for him to rip this away, cruelty much more familiar to me than kindness. He gestured toward me and cleared his throat. “Your hair… It’s lovely.”
I slid my fingers through it. “Oh, thanks. I straightened it. Imogen let me borrow some stuff.”
He swallowed and nodded, but I wasn’t sure he’d heard me. His gaze slid slowly over me, and I felt it like a caress. Was he nervous?
Samkiel cleared his throat again. “Alright.” He placed his hands on his hips, his council garbs flaring behind them. “What ghastly tortures have you concocted for us today?”
I smiled brightly, bouncing on my toes. “You will need warmer clothes for where we’re going.”
One of his brows ticked up. “Oh?”
“It’s going to be pretty dangerous.”
* * *
“So, this is your plan? This is how you are going to finally kill me?” he groaned, sprawled out on his back, his arms and legs extended.
“My, my, the mighty and legendary warrior taken out by blades and ice.” I leaned my hands on my knees and smiled down at him. “Who would have thought?”
The glare he sent me had me laughing so hard that I nearly ended up next to him. Once I had my giggles under control, I extended my hand. “Come on.”
He took it, allowing me to help him up. He corrected his posture, but I kept hold of his hand, not letting go.
“Keep holding my hands.”
He looked shocked, but he obliged, his gloved hands engulfing mine. I started skating backward, and he stayed upright for once. Snow continued to fall while a slow, cheery melody played. Thick foliage lined the rink, and multicolored lights floated around the arena.
“I do not like this.”
I moved a tad faster. “Why? It just requires balance. That’s like your whole thing.”
The look he gave me made me throw my head back and laugh.
“Shoes with a single blade seem like an appropriate weapon, but not a great idea to move around on ice.”
“You got this,” I said as I swayed, grinning at him. “I’m going to let go now.”
“Why?” He almost sounded scared, and I bit back another laugh.
Carefully, I let go of him and continued to skate backward. He wobbled, his arms swinging, but managed to stay upright.
“Don’t flail your arms. You’ll fall.”
“I have fallen eight times already,” he said, shuffling forward.
I grinned and shrugged. “Maybe you need to get rid of some muscle.”
He managed one of those damning glares that set my blood boiling. “Then what would you stare at when you think I am not looking?”
I continued to skate, placing my hands behind my back. “I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about,” I said innocently.
“Mmhmm.”
I made a large circle around him and moved to his side. “Watch me. Move your feet like mine.”
He glanced down, watching my feet slide left and right. He copied the movement, his natural grace kicking in, and soon our feet were in sync.
“Good job.”
He smiled widely, this time glancing at me. “Thanks.”
I extended my hand toward him, and I could feel his surprised pleasure. He took it almost reverently but held it firmly. “How did you get so good at this? You never told me.”
I squeezed his hand as we went around the rink once more.
“Gabby and I came here during the first big Celebration of The Fall we spent together. It was a few years after they opened. I got a week away from Kaden, and we spent every day here. I busted my ass way more than her, though. She was a natural at everything, and I hated her for it.” I smiled, realizing the memory didn’t come with the same sharp pain as before.
“We tried to do this every year so we could get together for the holiday.”
His expression changed, but I couldn’t decipher the emotions.
“What?” I asked.
He shook his head. “While your story is lovely, and I wish you two could have had many more of these adventures, it’s just very strange to me, and I suppose mildly uncomfortable, that Onuna celebrates a day that haunts me.”
I hadn’t considered that aspect of the holiday.
Samkiel had nothing but painful memories associated with The Fall.
“It’s more about the celebration of life, not the destruction.
Everyone was terrified, thinking the world was ending.
I mean, for us, the sky literally fell, but it wasn’t all bad.
Gabby helped me see that. It may have changed our world, but it gave us the technology we would never have developed, medical knowledge that helped cure so much, and people were just nicer afterward.
The Celebration of The Fall is just another way to show appreciation.
It showed us how fragile life can be and to appreciate the ones you love always. ”
I didn’t realize Samkiel was staring at me until I finished. “What?”
“That was… beautiful.”
I smiled softly, bumping softly into his shoulder. “Gabby’s words, not mine. Trust me, I still hated you all and thought you were the scourge of the universe.”
He tipped his head back and laughed. “There she is. I was afraid you might have gone soft.”
“Who?” I pointed toward my chest. “Me? Never.”
We skated, only the sound of our blades biting into the ice breaking the silence.
“Thank you for bringing me here. I know it means something to you. Anything you wish to share with me means a lot.”
My heart leaped at his words. I knew he genuinely meant it.
He always meant what he said and never shied away from how he felt.
I’d been broken into so many pieces, and Kaden had taught me that each shard could be used as a weapon against me.
It was so hard for me to crawl out of that pit and feel safe expressing any emotion.
That was one reason I’d brought him here, away from everyone else. I wanted to try.
I dipped my head, letting my hair fall forward to shield my expression. “You haven’t fallen in almost five minutes. That’s a new record.”
Samkiel allowed the change of subject and nodded proudly. “It’s because you have not let me go yet.”
He squeezed my hand, and I smiled at him.
A dark lock of hair had escaped his hat, falling across his forehead.
He looked so mortal, trying to keep pace with me, so out of his element.
His thick winter coat was black, mine was white, and our jeans were almost identical.
I wondered if he’d intentionally matched his clothes to mine, but I chalked it up to my overthinking brain.
He hadn’t let go of my hand, and a part of me wanted to yank it back, rebel.
The same part that was terrified to experience anything and took comfort in being emotionless and callous
“Can I ask you a question?”
He snorted. “Why would you hesitate now? Don’t you always?”
I bumped my shoulder against his. “I’m being serious.”
He smirked. “Go on, ask away.”
“Why don’t Logan and Neverra have any children? I know celestials can.”
He was quiet for a moment as we skated. We took another pass around the rink before he spoke.
“There was a procedure on Rashearim. Most males, especially those in power, got it to prevent unwanted pregnancy. Many didn’t want heirs from their consorts, and even more, were waiting for their mark before having children.
It’s reversible if you wish, but most don’t. ”
“Oh. I’m assuming you did it too?”
Samkiel chuckled. “Why do you ask? Ulterior motives?”
“No.” I shrugged, feigning innocence. “Call me curious.”
“Yes, I had it done, too. Logan and I both had it done after a… umm… scare.”
I couldn’t hide the coil of jealousy that wrapped around me. I whipped my head toward him, but it only made him laugh.
“Like I stated—a scare.”
“Oh, so there are no tiny Samkiels running around the universe that you may not know about?”
“No.” He glanced at me warily, and I braced myself.
“I had many consorts, and I did not want any more scares during my free time. Also, most wished to bed me for an heir, and I did not want that either. My father might have wished that for me, but after I witnessed what became of my mother with my birth, I would not damn another to that fate, especially one I wished to share life with. I don’t care if it would have benefited the realms. That’s too steep a price. ”
My heart ached for him, even if I didn’t enjoy hearing about his consorts. It was nearly as bad as reliving his blooddreams.
“You really are a knight in shining armor, aren’t you?”
He scowled. “What is that?”
I shook my head. “Nothing.”
“Uh-huh,” he said, obviously not believing me.
“What about you? Do you want children?”
I thought about it, and my heart clenched. “Maybe before, but I’d never damn a child to a life with me.”
I felt his eyes rake over me. “I know you don’t see it, but I don’t think anyone would consider themselves damned with you.”
I didn’t refute him, but I felt the opposite.
Children meant home and family, and I’d given up on that long ago.
If I let myself dream, I could imagine children and a husband, but I’d never want to burden anyone with me.
Even if he said the opposite, I knew the truth.
I hurt everyone I cared about, and I would never do that to my babies.
We swayed side by side, our hands clasped as we slid smoothly over the ice.
“I didn’t mean to upset you,” he said. His voice shook away the thoughts that plagued me.
“You didn’t. Pinky promise.” I gave him a forced smile.
“Then what are you thinking about? You disappear sometimes.”
“Do I?”