Chapter Seven
CHAPTER SEVEN
Mason
On Sunday morning I found myself lurking outside Ryan’s room, trying to pluck up the courage to knock and batting away the urge to press my ear to the door to see if I could hear him moving around. I didn’t think he’d been down for breakfast, but there was an empty mug by the sink I was at least eighty percent convinced hadn’t been there the night before.
Although since Ryan had definitely come home after Jonny and me, he could’ve made himself some late-night coffee. He did say caffeine helped him sleep.
“You can come in,” Ryan said, opening the door and making me jump six feet backwards and yelp. I’d never been good with jump scares, something my siblings had endlessly teased me about as a teenager. Ryan was looking at me questioningly as I clutched my chest. “You okay?”
“Yeah, just… you caught me by surprise. ”
“Shit, I’m sorry,” he said and offered me a sympathetic smile. “I thought you’d heard me calling you.”
“Nope.” I shook my head and chuckled. “Although I’m learning I’m not the most observant man in the world. I found out last night that Devon is gay. Apparently, he’s got the Pride flag all over his boots.”
Ryan grinned as he leant against the doorframe. He was wearing a faded Batman T-shirt and a pair of loose shorts that hung low on his hips. “Yeah… even I knew that.”
“How?” I asked as I tore my eyes away from the thin strip of dark skin I could see between the edge of his T-shirt and the waistband of his shorts. For some reason I wanted to lick it.
“Jonny mentioned it back in, like, June, when Devon moved back from France. He asked me if I knew any places he should recommend to Devon.”
“Huh,” I said, wondering how the fuck I’d missed all that.
“Do you want to come in? Or do you just want to keep lurking in the corridor?”
“Can I come in? Please.”
“Knock yourself out.” He grinned at me as he stepped back and gestured me into his room. “Sorry it’s a bit of a mess. I’ve only just gotten up.”
“No worries,” I said, trying not to focus on the fact that Ryan probably wasn’t wearing any underwear. His bed was unmade, the duvet thrown back, and I chuckled because his sheets had dinosaurs made from constellations all over them. His make-up was still scattered across his desk along with a huge box of colourful gemstones, with his new sword and the giant D20 propped against the edge of it. There was a large backpack open on the floor with a few clothes spilling out of the top where he hadn’t unpacked from last night.
“You were amazing last night,” I continued as Ryan closed the door. He was watching me carefully, like he wanted to see what I’d do. “I love the new look and I, er, I thought the dice worked really well too.”
“Yeah, I’m pleased with it. And I’m glad you liked everything.”
“You looked…” I swallowed, suddenly tongue-tied. “You looked fucking incredible.”
“Thank you.” He walked over and sat on his bed, resting one knee flat on it. “I thought it might be too much, but I don’t think such a thing really exists.”
“No, I don’t think it does. I don’t know if I’m the right person to ask, though.”
There was a pause and I tried to think of something else to say. I didn’t know if I should jump right in to what I’d wanted to ask or if we should try and have a conversation first. It frustrated the fuck out of me because I’d never been this damn confused before.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said. On Tuesday,” I said finally, resisting the urge to pace up and down or fold my arms.
“And? Have you made a decision?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I think I have.”
Ryan tilted his head slightly and raised an eyebrow. “I don’t want think , Mason. I want you to be certain.”
“I’m as certain as I can be,” I said. “Trust me. ”
“Okay then. What did you decide?”
“I want to try this—hooking up—with you.” I bit my lip and sighed, more nervous than I’d ever been. Not even going on my first date had made me feel like this. “I have no idea what I’m feeling or what the fuck I’m doing. I’ve spent every night trying to work out why I’ve never realised I might be bisexual, but the only reason I can come up with so far is that I’m fucking oblivious.”
Ryan tried to hide a smile as he looked up at me. “I think it’s more common than you realise.”
“Yeah, well, it feels ridiculous to me,” I said with a huff. “It’s not like I didn’t know bisexuality was a thing. My best mate is bi and I’ve listened to him rail his boyfriend enough times for the point to stick.”
Ryan snorted and almost doubled over. “I always thought Bubblegum might be loud.”
“You have no fucking idea,” I said quietly. I ran my fingers through my short hair, feeling at a loss with what to do with myself. Was I just supposed to stand here? Should I sit down? Did we need to talk about anything or could we dive straight in?
“I can hear you thinking from here,” Ryan said, patting the bed and throwing the duvet back even further so it wasn’t a barrier between us. “What’s on your mind?”
“How does this work?” I asked as I sat down, feeling his mattress give slightly under my bulk. “Do we need rules? Guidelines?”
Ryan thought for a moment and I studied his face, watching the way a few tiny lines appeared between his eyebrows and the way his mouth pulled slightly in the corner. There were a few bits of glue from the gems still stuck to the side of his head around his ears, and I wondered if it would be painful to peel off, like when our sports therapist pulled our support tape off at the end of matches. That always hurt like hell, especially when it got stuck on the small hairs on the back of my knees.
“Okay, first rule,” Ryan said. “If either of us is ever uncomfortable with anything, we can ask the other person to stop and they will. Immediately. We don’t have to explain or justify why we’re uncomfortable either, not unless we want to.”
“Makes sense,” I said with a nod.
“Good, second rule, we’re not going to rush into anything. I know it’s probably really tempting just to skip everything and go straight to fucking, but if we’re going to explore, we’re going to do it slowly.”
“Okay… any reason?”
He tapped his fingers on his thigh for a second, then said, “I guess I don’t want to rush you. I know you’re an adult and this is all consensual, but I don’t want you to feel pressured into something you’re not comfortable with. Besides, there’s a lot more to sex than just dick in hole, and I want to explore everything with you. I don’t want you to miss anything.”
I nodded and smiled, reaching out to put my hand on his knee, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath my fingers. “Thank you.”
“What for?”
“Taking care of me,” I said. “It’s sweet.”
“Yeah, well, this is for both of us, not just me. ”
It was my turn to frown then. “Have you had bad experiences or something?”
“Not recently,” he said with a tiny wistful smile as he looked down at the sheets. “But my first boyfriend wasn’t the most… patient. We were only like, fifteen, and I consented to everything but afterwards, as I’ve gotten older, I kinda wish we’d slowed down a little. And since this is your first time with someone with a male body, I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret. Also… I’m a demiboy, just to be clear. I know we’ve talked about it vaguely before, but just in case. I’m like, boy-light. Boy but to the left. The body is male, the brain isn’t particularly attached to gender—it was something society and my family gave me, and while I’m comfortable with it, I’m not especially attached to it and it doesn’t totally relate to how I feel. Does that make sense? I still use he pronouns, but I like they too. And I’m still comfortable being someone’s boyfriend… although that’s probably not necessary here. We’re not doing anything that serious.”
I nodded and smiled softly at him. We’d had conversations about gender before, including Ryan’s position on the gender spectrum, but I understood why he wanted to be crystal clear now. But it didn’t change how I felt or how I viewed them.
They were still Ryan. And I wanted to try this with him.
“Then I promise I’ll be honest with you. Anything I’m not sure of, I’ll say. And thank you, for being open with me. If I fuck up, then just tell me.”
“Thank you.” He put his hand on top of mine and squeezed gently. It was such a small gesture but it made my heart race harder than any of Gavin’s torturous cardio training. “But you won’t, I know it.”
“Anything else?” I asked. “Or just those two?”
“I don’t think so. But if you have any questions, want to talk about anything, want to try anything, then I need you to talk to me.” His smile brightened back into the teasing, cheeky one I was more used to. “Communication is sexy.”
“I know.” I slid a little closer on the bed and drew my other hand up to brush along his jaw. I might not know what the fuck I was doing feelings-wise, but this… this I could do. “And it should go both ways,” I added in a low voice. “I can’t explore properly if I don’t know what you want… what you like… what makes you feel good .”
Ryan’s breath hitched as his eyes went wide. “I’ll make sure to tell you.”
“Good.” I moved even closer, my leg bumping gently against his. I could see all the details of his face—the length of his eyelashes, the perfect Cupid’s bow in his plush lips, the bit of make-up still clinging to the skin under his eyes, the softness of his cheeks, and the little scar on the side of his nose. I could feel the first tiny brush of new stubble under my fingers, gently prickling my skin. He was gorgeous in a different sort of way to all the women I’d kissed, but that wasn’t a bad thing. It was just different.
“Can I kiss you?” I asked as I leant slightly closer, our lips inches apart. “Don’t ask me if I’m sure. I am. Otherwise I wouldn’t have asked.”
“Yes,” Ryan said with the barest of nods, their jaw softly pressing into my hand. “Kiss me, Mason.”
I smiled and slowly brushed my lips against his. The kiss was tentative at first because for some reason, I expected him to pull away. But instead he sighed and gently pushed back, his mouth wanting more. Something clicked inside my chest, unleashing a wave of desire that swept through me with devastating intensity.
I gripped Ryan’s chin tighter, holding him against me as my lips moved against his. A groan of surprise echoed in my throat as Ryan’s tongue teased my bottom lip, asking for more and fuck, was I happy to oblige. His tongue licked into my mouth and I moaned, my hand on his thigh sliding down towards his waist. Need bubbled through my chest, making me want so much more.
Ryan had said we’d go slowly because he didn’t want to rush me, but if I didn’t want to stop, would he let us go further?
Our kisses intensified as my initial hesitation burned away, leaving nothing behind but raw desire. My fingers found Ryan’s hip, gripping it tightly and trying to pull him towards me. He moaned and gently nipped my lip, making me gasp because it felt so good. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d just kissed anyone like this, but I’d do this for fucking hours if he’d let me. I wanted to map out every millimetre of his mouth with my tongue, commit every detail to memory so if I kissed a thousand other people, I’d know which one was Ryan.
The intensity of my emotions should have sent me running for the hills, but instead they just pulled me in further and I was happy to be swept away by them, consequences be damned.
Ryan lifted himself up and tilted forward to close the gap between our bodies. I squeezed his hip again and that was all the permission he needed to crawl into my lap, straddling my broad thighs and wrapping his arms around my neck. His body was hot and heavy, the weight of him on my thighs sending need surging up my spine and making my cock throb in the loose shorts I’d pulled on this morning.
Fuck, he’d definitely be able to feel my hard-on through them.
Ryan shifted on my lap as my other hand found his hip, groaning into my mouth as our cocks rubbed together. The feeling of his dick against mine sent another wave of need through my body, and I was so fucking close to grinding against him until I came in my pants. Shit, I didn’t think it would take much to get me there at all.
“Fuck!” Ryan said as he suddenly pulled away from me, leaving me breathless and whining at the loss of his kisses. “We should stop.”
“N-No,” I said, wrapping my arms around him. “Please… this is, fuck… it’s so good. I don’t want to stop.”
“Me neither, but we should.”
“You’re still not giving me a good reason.” I raised my eyebrow and smirked as I noticed how pink and kiss-swollen his lips looked. I felt oddly proud of myself for having done that to him. “We’re both having fun. And I really like kissing you.”
Ryan moaned with frustration, but he still didn’t move to get off my lap. “You’re making this harder than it needs to be.”
“I thought that was kinda the point? ”
They laughed and kissed me again before finally pulling away and flopping onto the bed beside me. Their cock was visibly hard through their shorts, a blot of precum staining the dark material. I wanted to reach out and touch them, to bury my head in their thighs and breathe in their scent, to rub their cock and balls across my face before opening my mouth for a taste.
“Yeah but… we said we’d go slow. I don’t want you to regret anything you did in the heat of the moment.”
“Trust me, I’m not going to regret anything.” I stretched out beside him, reaching out to slowly draw his face towards mine. “Can I at least keep kissing you?”
“Yeah,” he said, his mouth meeting mine, soft and achingly sweet. I wanted to spend the rest of the day getting lost in his kisses, but apparently the world had other plans.
Or at least, Jonny did.
“Mason? Ryan? Where are you?” Jonny’s thundering voice called up the stairs, shattering our peace like a wrecking ball. I groaned and rested my head against Ryan’s shoulder.
“Do you think if we keep very quiet, he’ll think we’re both asleep?” I whispered.
“No,” Ryan said with a grin, kissing me quickly before sitting up. “He’ll just come knocking.”
“Bastard.” I huffed as Ryan climbed off the bed, but it did give me a chance to stare at his ass as he walked to his bedroom door. The fabric of his shorts clung to the round cheeks and I just wanted to squeeze them.
“I’m here,” Ryan called as he stuck his head around the door. “What’s up?”
“I was thinking about going down to the carvery for Sunday lunch,” Jonny said and I heard his feet on the stairs. “Didn’t know if you or Mason wanted to come. I know it’s a bit last minute but—”
“Fucking sold,” Ryan said with a laugh. “I’ll dig Mason out and see if he wants to come. He’s probably got his headphones on.”
“Just make sure you knock,” Jonny said and I could hear the grin on his face. “I bet he’s jerking off.”
“Don’t need to tell me twice. I don’t wanna know what weird-ass tentacle porn he watches.”
Jonny laughed and I heard him going back downstairs. I raised an eyebrow at Ryan as he shut the door and turned back to me, grinning. “Tentacle porn?” I asked dryly.
“Hey, it’s fun,” Ryan said. “Don’t knock it ’til you’ve watched it. Monster fucking is hot.”
I buried my face in the bed as laughter punched itself out of me. “Good to know,” I said, tilting my face to look at him. “Send me a link and I’ll watch some. Just for you.”
“Done. As long as I can watch it with you.” Ryan winked as he reached for the bottom of his T-shirt. “Now, are you coming down to the carvery or do I have to eat all the roast potatoes for you?”
I leapt off the bed and strode towards the door, unable to resist kissing him as I passed. “Nothing stands between me and a good roastie.”
Except… maybe Ryan’s mouth.
If it was a toss-up, I’d definitely choose kissing him over a lifetime of roast potatoes.