Chapter Seventeen
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Hit Me With Your Best Shot
H e leaned against the living room wall, studying Nadia, who sat Indian style on his couch, wearing one of his Houston Cougars jerseys over lace panties. She puffed on an e-cigarette, holding it loosely with a limp wrist draped in gold chain bracelets, while her gaze focused on the matter at hand. He crossed his ankles, taking sips of his coffee to wash down the lingering taste of pancakes, then placed the cup on the end table. She flipped the paper to the opposite side, continuing to read the creased letter covered in old food smudges and oily disdain that had collected since the moment it was thrust upon him.
With a slow, long exhale, Nadia placed the letter down by her side, picked up his stereo system’s remote control, turned up the music, then went right back to reading the document. Anycia’s, ‘Back Outside,’ featuring Latto, drifted from his speakers.
Minutes grew long in the tooth, and then, it was over. Unsure of her stance on the contents of the letter, he didn’t dare blink. She cleared her throat and delicately folded the paper back the way it was with her pretty little fingers. Shiny, long nails dragged along the folded edge and for a brief moment, a flash of irritation crashed her expression, then faded into a dark smile. Leaning forward, she placed the letter onto the coffee table, sighed loudly, shook her head, and leaned back, arm extended along the length of the couch. A clear look of disgust on her face.
“…And I thought my father was a motherfucker. The devil sho’ is busy, ain’t he? Your grandfather makes my daddy look like Ghandi. Tha fuck?” She chuckled, though it was obvious she was not amused.
Lennox sucked his teeth, laughing mirthlessly while he nodded in agreement. The devil was definitely busy, and the devil was Grandpa. Always on the clock. He sat down beside her, and they remained quiet. He liked these moments with her. They spoke to one another without a need for extra filler. No desire to fill in gaps. Instead, their minds took in the crumpled information and tried to make something smooth of it.
He glanced her way as she looked down at the floor. Sunlight filtered in through the living room curtains, giving her a pinkish halo. Her flawless brown skin with undertones of amber and yellow glowed like a lantern. Soft fine hairs framed her hairline, flowing into a mass of dark brown wavy tresses that were now gathered in a sloppy ponytail after an evening and morning of beautiful, lust-fueled debauchery. She looked simply gorgeous. She stopped his heart just from a mere glance. Her natural state, devoid of the fluttery lashes and dark red lipstick was just as lovely, if not more so.
“…And you have six other cousins going through the same thing as you right now?”
He nodded. Taking another sip of his coffee, he set it back down. “He wants all of us.”
“Why y’all?”
“Because we’re the best, and we told him no. He hand selected each and every one of us from the moment we were born. He watched us closely, making a decision as we grew into teenagers, and then into men.”
“He only chooses the boys?”
“Mmm hmm.”
“So chivalry is not dead after all,” she teased. “He’s got the nerve to be sexist in his evil ways, but in this case, the womenfolk should be happy.”
“He sees it like a war… Women shouldn’t be on the frontlines. He keeps women around in the business for different purposes, but they’re never front and center.”
“So, what usually happens when he decides one of his chi’dren or grandsons is a good fit for whatever position he wants y’all to fill in his company?”
“Most people choose to comply.” He shrugged. “We’re the seven that didn’t.”
“Bad men seem to always want what they can’t have, Len.”
“Yeah… and I wanted you at one time, but knew I couldn’t have you. I agree with what you said. I’m not who I was back then, but he doesn’t seem to believe that.”
“Why do you think you were a bad man, versus confused and hurtin’?” She cocked her head to the side.
“…Because I did bad things. I knew they were bad, and I didn’t care.”
“But you care now, right?”
“I do about most of the things I did. Some of them I still don’t care about.”
“They say, once a gangsta, always a gangsta, Len.” She crossed her arms and glared at him, as if trying to gauge his reaction.
“I don’t deny my bloodline and what that means. I’m just saying that I acknowledge that some of the shit I did back in the day was evil, but in some ways, it was necessary. I just shouldn’t have been the one doin’ it, is all. The difference now is, I’ve made a choice to be better.”
“Maybe being better is being truthful about who you are, too.”
Their eyes locked. His body warmed and his muscles tensed.
“I know who I am.”
“You do, your self-awareness is admirable, but you don’t look deeper into the darker pieces of you, Len. You are so busy tryna run from your past, you ain’t slowed down enough to really see it for what it was.”
“What I did back then, Nadia, was out of character. Up until that point, I had been a good kid.”
“I know that you chalk it up as you mournin’ your mama and actin’ out. That might be true, but everything we do is in character, Len, or we wouldn’t have done it in the first fucking place.” She took his hands in hers and rubbed them, the most peaceful smile on her face, and yet he was filled with so much unease.
“Regardless, none of those things I did will happen again, Nadia. I’ve come too far and I have too much to lose.”
“Fair enough… So, what are you going to do about this little grandpa problem of yours?” She released him and leaned back against the couch.
“I have a plan, just need to get the details down pat. Can’t go in half-cocked.”
“Tell me what your plan is, ’cause maybe I can help you.”
“The less you know, the better. I don’t want you embroiled in this bullshit.”
“I can handle myself just fine. I’ve entertained big time drug dealers and gang bangers… been in a room full of hate-filled horny men with guns, when fights have broken out. Bullets flyin’. Ain’t met a mothafucka that can spook me yet.”
He leaned forward and caressed the side of her face with a gentle hand. She had the heart of a lion, the beauty of a butterfly, and the compassion of a lamb. She was his sword, his sunshine, and his rock.
He glanced at his watch, then cleared his throat. Time to address another situation that couldn’t wait a second longer.
“Not to get off topic, but uh, is there anything you wanna tell me, Nadia?”
She looked at him curiously. “About this letter?” She pointed to the coffee table.
“No, about your life. About anything you got goin’ on right now. ”
“Huh?” she shrugged, then took a draw from e-Cig before turning it off. “I’ve been an open book.”
He grimaced and crossed his arms.
“Let me move back before lightning strikes.”
“Okay, not right away,” she chuckled, “but lately I have. I don’t know what you’re getting at. Just spit it out.”
He pointed to the table. “I showed you that letter so you’d understand that I’ve got a serious situation I’m dealin’ with right now. It was only fair. I can’t be in a relationship with you without you knowin’ that my grandfather is this kind of person. He’s a dangerous man, one of the most known and feared in Houston. He’s got half the damn police paid off to stay outta his business, and he’s never hesitated on blowin’ someone’s brains out if he felt threatened. For most of my life, I have dealt with this stigma. This black cloud.
“That is why I didn’t talk to people at work, and still don’t, about my family, especially him . I’ve been workin’ a long time because I had to make my own money since I kept refusing to join him in his nefarious and often illegal activities. I can’t hitch myself to him. He’ll then own me. My father is one of his many lapdogs. It’s pathetic.” His throat burned as his pancakes repeated in his system. “I don’t ever wanna end up like my old man. So, with all of that, I had to tell you about this. Because I love you, and I’m serious about us being together. He doesn’t have a history of messin’ with folks’ girlfriends and wives, but it still wouldn’t be fair to keep that from you.”
She nodded in agreement.
“He doesn’t have a history for it unless they’re dead.” She pointed to the letter. “Threatening to tell your deceased mama’s family about her little stint in sexual services and ruining her family’s reputation and lives in the process is nasty work.”
“Yeah.” He sighed. “True, but you know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean, baby. Look. Thank you for tellin’ me, but it doesn’t change anything about me. You. Us. You’ve made your decision to stay the hell away from this family business, and I stand beside you every step of the way. I support your decision. Instead of being retired and quieting down, your grandfather seems to be just getting started. Old and evil is a hell of a combination. He don’t know how to love, but he sho’ know how to hate. He does it well. Angels need to be cultivated. Demons never need even one day of trainin’. Funny how bad shit comes to folks so naturally, but being good ’nd righteous we got to work at. Anyway, It’s a lot on yo’ mind right now, and a lot on your table, even without the stress of this mess.”
“Yeah, it is, but I’m okay. I choose to be okay. I have no choice, because I’m laser focused on what I want. Breakin’ down and falling apart won’t fix this shit. Me being smart about my next move will. I gotta plan all of this, all while he’s makin’ my life a living hell. I’m trying to save up the money to open my own gym and get approved for a low interest loan, as I already discussed with you. I just finished two certifications for personal training and I have a business degree that I haven’t used but need to put to work. This is my vision, Nadia, and he’s trying to ruin it, so I can make his dreams come true. He doesn’t care that his dreams are my nightmare .
“I’ve worked my ass off since I was sixteen years old, and I haven’t had handouts from my well-off grandfather. I haven’t always had the support system that I need, either. I’ve got a broken relationship with my father that is goin’ downhill fast, and the truth is it’s because I don’t respect him.”
“Why? Because he works for his father?”
“Because I find him cowardly and embarassin’, and he knows it. Because he is trying to get me to go along with this, knowing it’s not what I want, and it’s not what my mother wanted, either. Dad knows if she was still here she’d kill him before she let this go on. He’s gutless. But he’s still my dad…” He took a deep breath then continued. “Everything family wise is fucked. My sister still refuses to return my calls. Another result of my grandfather’s brainwashing. He’s a wrecking ball.”
“Why is she upset with you?”
“Silva thinks I’m making trouble for no reason. She thinks I should be honored that I was chosen by Grandpa Santa Claus to be in his little Christmas club. Only he isn’t Santa, despite the white beard, and the only thing in that sack over his shoulder are bullets and obituaries. She thinks our grandfather is like Mr. Rogers,” he scoffed. “He never let her see the real him, and she never believed what I’d tell her. Even my father kept her from the truth of his own dealings, and that’s because Grandpa told him to keep the girls out of occupational details. He has enough legit business ventures to lean on and claim that they are his keys to the ponderosa, but it’s all a farce.”
“What does she say when you try to talk frankly with her about y’all’s grandfather?”
“Every time I tried to explain to her that the man is a maniac, she either accused me of flat out lying, getting fake information to try and use to defame him, or insisting that whatever I presented to her wasn’t as bad as I made it seem. Hell, even to this day, she has no idea that the fucker is a career criminal, let alone serial killer as far as I am concerned.” He tossed up his hands. “He’s good at playing different roles for different people, Nadia.”
“Chameleons are smart… They know who to show their true colors, too.”
“Definitely. He’s good at protecting his fake image, too. Silva and I have a lot to catch up on, and I could use her support right now, but she’s dancin’ with the enemy and can’t see the forest for the trees. He will stop at nothing to get his way, unless I come up with somethin’ that’s better, or somethin’ so terrible that he decides to leave me the hell alone. I don’t want any more blood on my hands.” But he may not leave me any choice. “Now, back to you… do you have any loose strings, Nadia? Put it all on the table.”
“No.” She shrugged. “Like what? What are you accusin’ me of?” He could tell she wasn’t lying. She genuinely didn’t seem to know what the hell he was talking about. “I’m not hiding anything.”
“Oh, really? That’s not true according to this.” He slipped her phone out of his pocket and handed it to her. “Looks like you’ve got an ex-boyfriend who can’t take no for an answer.” Immediately, the vibe changed. Her shoulders slumped and her complexion deepened. “And before you accuse me of anything, no, I wasn’t goin’ through your shit. When you were in the shower, your phone kept going off. I saw some of his messages flash on the screen—well, part of them—and I got the gist of it. Now, do I need to handle somethin’?”
“…I thought you said all of that violent shit was behind you. In the past.”
“I’ve evolved. That doesn’t mean that I’m a fuckin’ doormat or pussy. I protect what’s mine.”
She pursed her lips while reading a few of the messages the fucker from her past had bombarded her phone with before putting it down abruptly on the table—next to the letter from Satan.
“Let me put it like this. I have a lot of upset boyfriends, Lennox. I tend to rub men the wrong way when I’m not dancing for them, or doing some performance to cater to their fragile egos. The ‘real me’,” she gestured with air quotes with her fingers, “gets under a lot of men’s skin. Some say I’m too loud. Too opinionated. Too independent. Too unemotional, I guess. None of that is true except the opinionated and independent part.
“What is true is that I have a short fuse for bullshit, and I call out all red flags as soon as I see them. I was a people-pleaser as a child. Life taught me to cut that shit out quick. When I end these relationships, if you want to even call them that, usually I just get a ‘Fuck you, bitch,’ and they go on their merry way. Sometimes I get drunk butt-dials or whatever.” She rolled her eyes. “But it eventually stops sooner than later, and then it’s over. This one isn’t working out that way. This one just happens to be crazy and a little unpredictable. ”
She picked up the remote and turned the music back down.
“Why is he threatening to hurt you if you don’t give him some money?”
“Because LeRon thinks I owe it to him, but we already went to court and the judge ruled in my favor.”
“Then he’s using it as an excuse to still be in contact with you?”
“Yeah, but he really does want the money. I think he wants to see if I’ll break. If I told him right now I wanted him back, I believe he’d drop this.”
“So he wants you more than he wants the money?”
“No. He doesn’t give a shit about me. It’s what I represent. What I can do. Some guys get off by dating strippers. It’s a kink for them. Especially one like me that had to be booked in advance, made a lotta money, and was a crowd favorite. Dancing is highly competitive in Atlanta. I got a lot of top billing for shows. My name was well-known in these stripper streets. He enjoyed that. He doesn’t want me, though, Lennox… not really. He wants the lifestyle.”
“He wants to ride your coattails? This is ridiculous.”
“It is, but it’s true. The riches. The glamour. Atlanta strip clubs hit different. It’s a part of the culture. A way of life. I had a nice apartment. A real nice one. A penthouse, actually, and I had just about all the things that money could buy. I have a nice savings, and he wants a slice. Says he deserves it. Says he helped promote me, get me bookings. He ain’t do shit that I was already doing by myself before I even met him, and I was doin’ it well. I didn’t benefit from being with him. He benefited from being with me. He got to go with me on trips and rent expensive cars to floss in. He’s a schemer and a user. Now he’s callin’ me every week from blocked numbers threatening me.”
“Just tell me his full name. I promise I won’t do anything.”
They both burst out laughing.
“Boy, stop. Lennox, I know you. I ain’t tellin’ you that boy’s name ’cause you’ll end up on the news. You’ve got enough problems as is. Anyway, like I said, he’s not even here, so chill. He’s in Atlanta. I ain’t worried about him.” She scoffed. “And besides, if he is dumb enough to bring his silly ass over this way, I got Dolly and Parton waitin’ for him, and trust ’nd believe, they work 24/7, not just 9 to 5.”
“Who’s Dolly and Parton?”
She smiled at his question as if she’d been waiting to be asked.
“My Glock 43X and Springfield hellcat. They can sing their asses off, too. Got a mouth full of pretty, shiny bullets, and both of ’em can foxtrot through any dancefloor. I hold one in my left hand, and the otha in my right. I say… ‘Jolene, please don’t make me put a hole in dis here man…’”
“Cheers to that.” They tapped their glasses and cups together. “Do you shoot well?”
“Does a bee like honey?”
“Who taught you how to shoot or did you just learn on your own?”
“Didn’t learn on my own. Got it from my mama.”
“Of course.” He laughed.
“…You already know.” Her face flushed deeper and her hi gh cheekbones rounded when she smiled. “She taught me and my brother how to use a gun. I was fifteen. Mama said, ‘Listen you two. Y’all gonna learn how to fight, and how to shoot a person dead, today.’ My brother piped up and said, ‘But we can just call the police like Nana says.’ Mama laughed and put her hand on her hip. “Boy, the world don’t give a fat fried fuck a duck on a truck for good luck ’bout no black folks getting justice in this world. So, we have to make our own justice ’cause it’s JUST US. Now pay attention or you’ll wish you did.’ Mama grabbed some bottles, pop cans, and some of my old dolls, took us out in the mornin’ to a field, and we stayed there for hours until we could shoot those dolls square in the middle of their glassy eyes. There was a lot of tears and yellin’, swearin’ and not caring, but we did it. She made sure of it.”
“Being able to defend yourself is important. I’m glad she taught you two early.”
“Mmm hmmm… I can fight, but fighting sometimes ain’t enough. Too bad I ain’t have that heat on me when I was in college. Woulda made a world of difference. The storm would’ve never came.” Hatred blazed in her dark eyes. “Now, you’d be hard pressed to run into me without a piece on me. You ain’t got to teach me that I can’t have my guard down but one time.” She raised her finger. “Lesson learned.”
“You ever have to use Dolly and Parton? Or have to shoot anyone, period?”
She was quiet for a long time, then reached for her juice and took a few gulps.
“This woman broke in my house one time… said I was messin’ with her husband. I ain’t even know who her damn hu sband was. At first I found it kinda funny, but I was mad too, ’cause she was in my house. My sanctuary. To this day I don’t know how she got in my apartment, she ain’t never say when I asked her, but I got a hold of one of my guns and gave ’er a warning shot. She got up outta there real fast. Thought I was gonna stand there and wrestle with her weird ass. I saw the car she drove off in, filed a police report, and they saw on somebody’s store camera who she was not that long afterwards. She got arrested at her job. Bitch was a whole ass teacher. Throwin’ her good career away over some bullshit.
“Come to find out, her husband was some fella that used to come to the strip club all the time and had gotten a little obsessed with me. He was a chiropractor. Plain lookin’ and too handsy. That’s all I remembered ’bout him. He was lying to himself, and to her, and believed me and him was in a relationship I guess.” She shrugged.
“What happened to the husband after you figured out he was the one that caused this mess in the first place?”
“This fool had the nerve to show back up to the club and try to pretend he didn’t know what the problem was. Had his ol’ lady going crazy over a lie and some movie he had playing in his head. She was in jail, lost ’er job, and he was back at the spot like not a damn thang had changed. I made sure the bouncers had the 411 as soon as I spotted him. They took him out back and beat him down to the mothafuckin’ ground. He ain’t come ’round there no more after that .” She chuckled. “Had to let these mothafuckas know, Len, don’t let the pretty smile fool you.” Her grin faded into the darkest alley and the deepest valley. “I’m ’ bout that life.
“My father was a killa ’foe he got saved and said he was called to preach the word. My mother ain’t no angel, either. She on that eye for an eye type shit. I made it clear to that lunatic that next time I wuddn’t giving just no warning shot to his ol’ lady. I felt a lil’ sorry for her, so I let her live, but there would be no second chances. On soul. Next time, I’ll be shootin’ to kill, and he wouldn’t be walkin’ away from that club if I saw him again, neither. I told him straight up that he’d be leaving in a body bag, and I might toss a few dollars on it.”
She polished off her juice and got to her feet.
“Anyway, baby, I gotta run some errands and what not before work tonight. I know you have to get ready to leave soon, too.” He got up and walked back with her to the bedroom so she could put on her pants she wore the night before, and her shoes. As she collected her belongings, he glanced at his watch one last time. He slipped out of his jogging pants and whistled to her. She turned around, her sock in her hand, and her eyes widened at the sight of him stroking his dick.
“‘Jolene’ ain’t the only Dolly Parton song that needs to be discussed today.”
“Oh, really? I never took you for a Dolly Parton fan. What’s another one we need to talk about?” She put her hand flirtatiously on her hip, tilting her head back as she belted a laugh.
“‘Here You Cum Again,’… because you’re definitely about to be cummin’.” She spun around and burst out laughing. “Take that shit off. All of it. Right now. You’re go nna give me some more pussy before you leave up out of here.”
“You ain’t the boss of me.” She smirked. Taking a few wobbly steps back.
“Ain’t tryna be the boss, just tryna get ya ass ate and ya salad tossed.”
“You a fool!” she hooted, letting that sock slip from her hand back onto the floor.
“Dolly got it wrong.”
“Oh, did she now?”
“Mmm hmm. Tennessee ain’t the only places with mountains. Why don’t you come on over here and ride this Houston peak? I got somethin’ you need to climb up on, and slide down, all right.”
“Lennox! What’s gotten into you?” soft laugh lines creased around her eyes, and her lips curved in amusement.
“Don’t worry about what’s gotten into me, I’m tryna get into you . You got me all worked up, hot and bothered with all that gun and gangster talk. Dolly and Parton ain’t the only ones that like to shoot their load. I’m ready for target practice RIGHT NOW, and trust me, I never miss.”
“So you want a chance to hit the doll between the eyes, too, huh? You wanna play paintball, and tint my face white, don’t you, boy?” She teased, reaching for her panties, and slowly sliding them down her thighs.
“Not your entire face. I would love for you to see me cummin’.”
“Oh, honey, I insist on keepin’ at least one eye open. Just make sure your one-eye soldier shoots me right. I’m picky and hard to please. ”
“I’m hard, too, and I’m reportin’ for duty. Trust and believe, I aim and fire to please.”
With that, he slammed and locked the bedroom door behind him…