Incident 7 Come, My Minion, Leave Your Master Alone #2
Mama Vampire—she couldn’t be anyone else—was stunning. Her deep, auburn hair was swept up and over a shoulder, contrasting the cashmere green sweater dress she wore. She was unusually tall for a woman, forcing Ross to look up into her eyes—dark green eyes that looked him over with intense interest.
“You must be Ross,” she said in a deep alto, a smile breaking over her face. “You’re lovely. I can see how you caught my son’s attention.”
“I think it was more that I’m hard to startle,” Ross denied with an answering smile. He could feel the switch flick in his head as customer service mode engaged. “I’m sorry, are you Glenn’s mother? Surely not at your age.”
“Oh, you are smooth,” she said approvingly.
Glenn rounded the front of the car quickly, coming to stand at Ross’s side. “Máthair, you didn’t warn me you were coming.”
“No, indeed, I heard disturbing things and came to see if I could help. But first, introduce me to your paramour.”
His what, now?
Glenn’s expression tightened, but he made the introductions. “Ross, this is my mother, Fiadh. Máthair, this is Ross. He serves as both my personal assistant and the clan’s Function.”
“Yes, I’ve heard stories about him.” She took Ross’s hand in one of hers, still weighing him with her eyes. “You’re rumored to be quite capable, you know. But if you’re so capable, I do wonder why you left so many behind.”
“I’m sorry? What?” Ross felt suddenly like he’d failed a test he didn’t know he was taking.
In a flash of vampiric speed, she was gone, and then back again.
Ross had no idea where she’d managed to drag him from, but Hairy the Minion was here and in the flesh.
He had his hands tied in front of him, a pitiful look on his face as he knelt at her feet in the driveway.
He did not look like a man who had any life expectations outside of the next ten minutes.
Oh. Missed some. Got it.
“I heard about Man-Shik,” Fiadh informed them, her lips pursed in aggravation. “Too late, I fear. I didn’t know he was targeting you again, my dear son. I came to head him off, only to find you’d already taken care of him.”
“So I have,” Glenn answered tightly. “So, why did you round up his minions?”
“Because they were causing trouble. Well, this one was intent on running away, but I caught him anyway.” Fiadh cast poor Hairy a disapproving glare, as if running away had inconvenienced her.
Ross had a terrible, terrible feeling he knew where this was going.
Ruthless, Glenn had described her. She wouldn’t take it well that they hadn’t completely wiped out all of Man-Shik’s people.
She saw that as a threat not properly neutralized, that was clear.
He now knew what the test was. But how to pass it? While not spilling blood?
Glenn’s hand found his, and he gave it a warning squeeze. “Máthair, I assure you—”
“It’s not for you to say what’s done with this one,” Fiadh informed him loftily. “The injury was done to Ross directly. He should be the one to say what’s done.”
Ross’s life currently moved at fifteen WTFs per hour.
He stared down at Hairy, who stared right back with a pleading expression.
Which was an interesting expression on that half-Ogre face, like a bulldog who was trying to smile and couldn’t quite figure out the mechanics of it.
He didn’t think Hairy was necessarily a bad guy.
A little slow on the uptake. Not exactly the brightest crayon in the crayon box.
Definitely easily swayed, which was how he had ended up under an evil sorcerer’s employ. But not necessarily evil.
Did he want to save this man?
Fiadh’s smile was pure challenge. “Well, Ross? Will you do the honors?”
You know what? Fuck it. Ross employed some of the grit that had landed him this job to begin with and looked her right in the eye. “Why would I kill him and waste a perfectly good opportunity?”
She blinked, a slow, lazy blink, like a dragon contemplating ravaging a village. “Opportunity, you say?”
“Why kill him when I can easily flip him?” Ross looked down at Hairy and ticked things off on his fingers. “Salary, 401K, health plan. Two weeks’ vacation time each year. How about it?”
Hairy sat there, non-plussed for a long moment. Then he asked, “Does the health plan include dental?”
“It does.” Ross grinned at him, amused Hairy remembered their conversation.
Hairy nodded firmly. “I’ll take the job.”
Ross nodded back. “You’ll start tomorrow. I’ve got stuff to sort out today. There, Fiadh, see? He’s easily won over.”
Her expression was no longer challenging, but instead absolutely delighted. “Oh, I like you,” she breathed, practically bouncing on her heels. “Truly, nothing really fazes you. How will you use him?”
“There is more than enough work to go around, trust me,” Ross drawled. In truth, he hadn’t a fucking clue. He just hadn’t been able to think of any other way out of this. “Can you untie him?”
“Oh yes, yes,” she answered, reaching readily for the chains around Hairy’s wrists.
Mental note, learn Hairy’s real name.
Glenn leaned into his side and whispered, “Marry me.”
Impressed him by handling Mama, had he? Ross kissed him quick, amused. “You have to finish wining and dining me first.”
Glenn’s answering grin was wicked with amusement. “I can do that. Assuming people leave us alone long enough to date.”
Fiadh tossed the bindings carelessly aside into the grass before coming back to them. “What does that mean? Long enough to date?”
“We can’t seem to actually get on a first date without being interrupted,” Glenn explained to her wearily. “You’re the latest reason we had to come back before the date could truly start.”
“Oh dear.” Fiadh’s lovely brow gathered in confusion. “No, I don’t understand. I thought you were already lovers. Isn’t that why Man-Shik kidnapped you, Ross?”
“Man-Shik jumped the gun,” he answered. Part of his mind was trying to figure out where to stash Hairy for the night. “I hadn’t asked Glenn out at that point.”
Her frown morphed into another delighted smile. “You asked my son? Not the other way around?”
“Right.” Ross didn’t understand why that was so interesting. Did it make any difference who asked?
But this apparently made sense to Glenn, as he answered his mother like she’d asked a more pointed question.
“You see? He’s not at all easily intimidated.
And you know the insanity my clan finds on a regular basis, and he doesn’t even lose his temper most of the time. Just handles it with deadpan humor.”
“Oh, I do see.”
Maybe those two did, but Ross certainly didn’t.
Again, he felt like he was in the middle of a test. Only he didn’t know what he was being tested on, and he certainly hadn’t studied for it.
Were vampires always this cryptic and confusing?
Or was this more a family thing, with Glenn and Fiadh inferring as much as they said aloud?
Fiadh leaned in a little, a wicked invitation in her expression. “Ross, why don’t you join me?”
Urk. Uh, no. Hard pass. “I’m very attached to your son. And gay.”
She threw her head back on a laugh. “You really have no fear. To turn me down to my face! But no, my dear, that’s not at all what I meant. I mean, I want you to join the family.”
Um, what?
“Become my son and let me turn you,” she clarified, that delight making her practically bounce in place again. “My Glenn clearly adores you, and you’ve got the right personality to take this world on without being rattled by it. It’ll be perfect.”
Was she seriously buttering his toast like this?
This sudden invitation was alarming. She’d barely been on scene five minutes and she was already making offers?
And it wasn’t like Ross had ever seriously thought about becoming vampire.
It might have crossed his mind a time or two, but he was very aware of both the pros and cons after working for Glenn for several months.
It wasn’t something he was going to dive casually into.
He decided not to treat her offer seriously. It’d clearly been extended on a whim. “Well, your son hasn’t finished wining and dining me yet. Why don’t you check in with me next year and ask again?”
“Oh, you are perfect.” Fiadh patted Glenn on the cheek. “You’ve done well with this one. About time. I feared you had no taste in men at all after the last three.”
Glenn looked long-suffering and resigned at the same time. “Thank you. I think.”
Laughing, she turned on a heel. “I’ll let you get back to your date. I’ll come and play again tomorrow, after I’ve rested. Oh, and Ross?”
Please leave. Ross had an upset vampire to cuddle. “Yes?”
She looked at him over her shoulder, a promise in her eyes. “I will turn you. Amusing things are not allowed to escape me.”
“I’m warned.” What were the odds she’d actually remember that promise a year from now? Ross wasn’t sure whether to believe her or not. And he wasn’t sure how he felt about the offer/threat/promise. Maybe he really should think about it?
Glenn leaned into his side and muttered, “You’re not allowed to break up with me before we even go on a date.”
“You’re lucky you’re cute. That’s all I’m saying.” Ross pointed at Hairy, still kneeling uncertainly on the ground. “You, come with me. I’ll settle you somewhere safe for the night.”
Hairy popped up, a hopeful, happy smile tugging his mouth up. “I’m really your employee now?”
“It’s either that or death, and I think you’ll prefer working for me.” Ross pointed a finger at Glenn. “Do not go anywhere. I just need five minutes. You still owe me dinner.”
Glenn’s expression lit up with relief. “I’ll change our reservation while waiting.”
“Good.” Ross grabbed Hairy by the elbow, hauling him along even as he made a quick plan of action. He could put Hairy in the Den for the night. There were lots of comfy couches to sleep on. And the werewolves could keep an eye on him.
Hairy followed with a pep in his stride, taking in the clan with eager eyes. “You all live in such nice houses here. Will I live in one too?”
“Yes. The whole clan lives here.”
“That’s amazing. I’ve never lived in a nice place before. I’ll do the best job ever for you. Uh, but, what will my job be? What work will you have me do?”
Ross stopped and looked at him. Well, now, that was the fucking million-dollar question, wasn’t it?
You know what, he wasn’t going to worry about it. That was a question for Tomorrow Ross. Today Ross had a date to get to and a sexy man to handle. In all the ways. “We’ll discuss it tomorrow.”
Hairy answered cheerfully, “Okay.”
Brain, you are hereby ordered to think of something by tomorrow morning. Something brilliant. No buts, either.
Date first. Minions, later.