Chapter 34
34
Cam’s partner showed up at the Ranch for dinner, along with Kyra’s father Bert and her stepmother. It put Emerson on edge immediately. Gunn was torn between acting as a buffer for his friend, and spending time with Ayla and his family. But after one look at his friend’s face—Emerson’s needs won out.
He was hurting so much.
And Gunn didn’t know how to fix it.
The crowd at the ranch was a large one—they had people in every available space imaginable. But his family had built this house to shelter as many friends and family as it could. They all somehow fit.
They were all sitting down to eat when the door opened.
Guthrie was there. He’d gotten called back to the hospital for an emergency birth—there were a lot of babies being born in Value lately, Gunn thought. But Guthrie wasn’t alone.
Guthrie strolled into the middle of the dining room—where most of their guests and family were sitting, including Gunn’s parents, and all of Ronnie’s siblings and their families—and called for attention. It really wasn’t needed. “I want to introduce you all to Mr. Georgiano Maxwell Hiller the fourth, and Mira Aubrey Hiller, the one and only. Everyone, the newest Hiller babies.”
“Lake Monsters. It’s a given,” Cam had to add.
George and Ronnie and the babies had arrived.
In the commotion even though he thought everyone had already met the babies at one time or another, Gunn saw movement out of the corner of his eye.
Emerson was heading for the patio door.
Gunn just followed.
Then he was outside and just watching his closest friend on the planet. Just waiting.
“You are really lucky,” Emerson finally said. “I didn’t have that. ”
“I know.” Emerson had told him a few things. About how his father had been. Autocratic, demanding, borderline cruel, to his sons. He’d liked it when they’d won or triumphed over competitors, liked it when they’d fought. Said it had made men out of them in a world gone soft. He’d be more likely to slap his sons than to hug them.
To Gunn, it had sounded abusive. But Emerson had never come out and said that. He didn’t know if his friend ever would.
“I thank God for my family and my friends, my community, every single day.”
“I want that. I want to find a woman to love the way your brothers love those women in there. I want a house full of kids of my own. I want to come home to something different than the TV every night, and occasional burger with my brother.”
“I understand that.”
“I don’t know how much longer I can lead my church, Gunn. I don’t know that I’m still the right man for the job.”
“Have you prayed about it?” His blood chilled at the look in Emerson’s eyes. At the confusion, the pain.
“Until my knees are raw.”
“And? What is your heart telling you?”
“Just to keep getting out of bed every day. To just keep going. Helping people where I can. But… I’m angry. So angry sometimes I can’t see straight.”
“With God? With Rei and his followers? Or with yourself?”
“All. All. And I don’t understand what it is I am supposed to do next.” He started pacing around the patio garden, more upset than Gunn had ever seen him. Except once. Then.
Three years ago. When Emerson’s world had come burning down around him.
All Gunn could do was listen.
She knew they had disappeared almost the instant they did. The air felt different without one Gunn Hiller nearby. Ayla looked up, just in time to see him going outside after Emerson.
She shifted a little. She wanted to follow him, to make sure he was okay. But… it wasn’t her business. Emerson needed him right now. Her arms tightened around baby Mira, as the women around her kept talking. Her back had been hurting her a little; Greer had noticed and made her sit down before popping a teeny tiny baby into her arms. Greer could hover like a pro, rather like her big brother. Ayla didn’t mind—it was nice to have people care about her. Besides Aubrey.
It had been just her and Aubrey for far too long. Genny was hovering over Aubrey now, too.
Jake’s sister and her friend from St. Louis were on the couch with her. They were talking quietly between themselves. Ayla was just listening, sitting next to Jake’s wife Celia, who held her on baby girl.
She knew Celia really well, too. Celia was an in-home physical therapist, who worked out of the same office where Ayla did her regular PT sometimes. Occasionally, Celia would fill-in for her regular therapist. And Celia was in the library with Jake all the time. Celia and Jake had two little boys and a baby girl. Jake’s sister had the little girl Kimber, who was currently chasing after her older cousins and the rest of the kids everywhere. Kyra’s redheaded friend Leina had four kids—two girls, two boys and she was three months pregnant again. She was married to an agent she worked with, too.
Giavonna was there, talking to them all.
Aubrey was curled up in a chair, resting quietly on Guthrie’s orders, a blanket Guthrie had covered her with pulled up to her chin. Her sister was recuperating, but… she still looked very puny.
Guthrie was taking care of her, completely. He hovered just as well as his youngest brother and sister—and his mother. Ayla suspected she knew where they’d gotten it from. Gunn’s mother had hovered over her and Aubrey both, every time she was out at the ranch. Ayla absolutely adored Gayle Hiller.
“You are thinking something,” Giavonna said, looking at her for a long moment. Greer was sprawled over half of the large ottoman, Hala right next to her—glaring across the room at Grady. “Talk.”
The other women were looking at her, too. “I am just thinking how lucky you Hiller creatures are to have each other. And how… nice it is here. How you welcome people. Not everyone is like that, you know.”
“No, they’re not,” Leina said. “My family certainly wasn’t.”
“This place became my safe place after my… family died,” Hala said. She very rarely mentioned the loss of her parents and slightly younger sister in an auto accident when she’d been eighteen. Now, she just had her older brother Hudson, little Ryan, and Ayla had met a cousin named Micah, once. A cousin who now worked in St. Louis with Cam Lake and his wife and Leina.
Interesting coincidence, that. There were so many connections between people in the world. Sometimes, that was hard for someone with very little connections to understand.
“I used to wish for a big family like this. When it was just me and Sleeping Beauty over there, in foster care.” No use denying it. She was okay with their story, and okay talking about it. Sometimes, she thought she was more okay with it than Aubrey had ever been. But… Aubrey had had far more responsibilities in their childhood than Ayla had, too. Aubrey had always been more her mom than her own mother had ever been. What had happened to them had forced them to grow up fast. “I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately, really. What makes families, and everything.”
“I suspect we’re going to be family, soon,” Greer said, nudging Ayla’s knee lightly, with one socked foot. She still looked a little green around the gills—Genny had made her sit down before she totally tossed the cookies. “As soon as Guthrie carries Aubrey off into the sunset, and Gunn carries you away so romantically.”
“He certainly likes to carry Ayla around,” Hala said. “Scoops you right up, doesn’t he? I don’t see you doing much complaining about it, either.”
“He does. He’s very good at it, too. I am not going to say I mind one bit.”
“You two are very cute together,” Celia said, quietly, her own baby girl Nadia in her arms. The two-month-old was sound asleep now, and had a shock of dark hair sticking straight up on her head. She had Celia’s face—and Jake’s hair and green eyes.
“Thank you.” What else was she supposed to say here? She looked at the baby in her arms. Mira looked just like Genny— and Gunn. And was utterly beautiful in every way. Tiny, too. She didn’t even weigh five pounds yet. “You three are all happily-ever-aftering with your guys, right?”
She looked at Jake’s sister. She had the same green eyes and dark hair as Jake—and her stomach was seriously round . “I think I’m going to ask the age-old question here… how do you know when he’s the right guy for… forever? Hala, Greer, and Gia don’t get to answer.”
It was Leina who answered. “You just… do. I knew it the day a pair of idiots involved in a cult abducted me and my friend, shot my other friend in a hospital parking lot, and I just knew, trusted, that Ken was out there looking for me. I knew… I wanted a chance to try forever with him. I’m glad I took that risk. My world… changed, then.”
Kyra laughed softly, one hand on her stomach, rubbing. “I am not sure I ever didn’t know. When I got in trouble down here, and I called Cam… I knew I could trust him. Completely. Before I even dialed the first number. When I was… trapped… underground with Bailey… I knew. I just knew I wanted a chance forever. No matter what happened, I wanted the chance to even try.”
“Same. I just knew,” Celia said quietly. “Faster than I would have ever thought possible.”
“Great. So… forever love is just like a big whammy upside the head?” Hala asked, drily. She knew Kyra pretty well, she’d said. Even though they weren’t close. Kyra had been heavily involved with Hala’s cousin Micah for several years. Before she’d become involved with Ronnie and Celia’s brother. “Sounds a lot painful.”
“Love is definitely painful,” Ronnie said, from where she’d been sitting in one of the armchairs, nursing Max. “But… it’s worth it. I would do it all over again, to capture my own Hiller man. Except the part where he and Giavonna got shot, anyway. That was not something I want to repeat.”
“Me, either, considering,” Giavonna added, turning her arm and looking at the scar there.
Ayla had heard the story. “I really wish there was a how-to guide here, you know. Gunn is kind of hard to figure out.”
“Honey, every Hiller man on the planet is. Something you and your sister definitely need to be aware of,” Ronnie said, wrapping Max up after burping him—and then passing him to Greer. Ayla handed Mira over to her mother. The baby was fussing and wanting her turn. Ronnie so had this love and family thing figured out. “Complicated Hiller brain doesn’t even begin to describe it.”
“We resemble that remark,” Giavonna said. “Gunn can be hard to figure out sometimes, though. The other brothers… pretty simple creatures, honestly. But Gunn… there’s a different layer to him. Not better than the other boys, just… different. He sees things in a different way than the rest of us. But… I know he’d never do anything to deliberately hurt anyone, Ayl. It’s just not in his makeup. He hurts… when those he loves hurts. Case in point.” She waved a hand toward the windows.
Ayla looked toward the patio door. She could see them out there. “Emerson is really hurting. And that hurts Gunn, too. I wish I could make it better, easier for him somehow. Both of them.”
Ayla’s eyes met Leina’s. She was just watching the two men, too. Then she stood. “If you’ll excuse me, I think… I think Emerson Riordan and I seriously need to have a talk. ”
She walked outside, just like that. Ayla looked at Kyra. “What is that all about?”
“Emerson and Leina grew up together. And… we all have our ghosts from our pasts. They’ll work it out,” Kyra said. Then, right before Ayla’s eyes she paled, and stiffened.
Her hands went to her stomach, instantly. “Oh. Well. That’s… early. Far too early.”
“Kyra—” Celia started, standing. She passed her daughter over to Ayla. Ayla just cuddled the baby girl in her arms, as Aubrey sat up quickly. Guthrie and Chad were nowhere to be seen.
And neither was the woman’s husband or her brother.
“I think someone better go find Camden Lake. His son’s about to make his appearance now,” Celia said, helping her sister-in-law stand. Ayla saw the woman’s wet pants then. Well, okay. “And hurry.”
Aubrey was there, going into doctor mode immediately. “How many weeks are you?”
“Thirty-six weeks. I’ve had… complications. From… previous injuries,” Kyra said. Her face was bunched up. It was obvious she was in pain. Then she just… relaxed. “No false labor, though. Not this time.”
“Let’s get you to the ER,” Aubrey said, so calmly. “We’ll get you taken care of. Dr. Lewis is on tonight, I think. He’s a wonderful OB.”
“Dr. Lewis delivered me, ” Kyra said. “And Jake.”
“Full circle, then,” Aubrey stepped back, when people came running in. Her sister didn’t like crowds, one bit.
Kyra’s husband was there, with Guthrie. Just like that, Cam scooped her up and held her close.
Ayla could actually see the love between them.
That was exactly what she wanted for herself someday. And to be honest, she didn’t care if it was far sooner than what she had planned.
And there was only one man she really could see having that with.
Cam Lake was the father of an eight-pound, fourteen-ounce, beautiful baby girl within six hours of Greer rushing out on the patio to tell him, Emerson, and Leina that Kyra Lake had gone into labor. Jake had called the ranch and given everyone an update, after the baby was born. It turned into an extended celebration. All of Cam’s family had headed toward the hospital, to wait, just minutes after Cam had driven off with his wife. Kyra’s father had taken their daughter to the hospital an hour before her sister had been born.
Everyone had been convinced from ultrasound photos that the baby was a boy. But… even with technology what it was, God had a way of making surprises.
Caia Faith Lake was one of God’s surprises, one of His miracles. Gunn knew what Kyra Lake had suffered at the hands of monsters. And now, she and her husband had two beautiful baby girls under the age of fifteen months. When… there had been no hope before, now… there was.
It made a man think.
Gunn had been elected to drive Ronnie to the hospital, to sit with her family, after she had tucked the twins and her four older girls in for the night. She’d left supplies with George, and told him she would be back to the ranch when she could. That, with his sisters around, he should be just fine with two babies. George’s arm was still in a sling—he’d probably need all the help he could get.
The Lakes were as close as the Hillers. He had long known that. Things were a bit strained with Ronnie’s parents and their children—the abduction of Ronnie’s sister Celia when she’d been twelve had changed their relationship with their remaining children forever, but they were still working through that. Building something now. It would just take time.
He had counseled Ronnie’s parents several times before. To help.
He would stay at the hospital, until it was time to drive his sister-in-law back to the ranch. And in the meantime, there was a vending machine in the cafeteria.
Gunn had had just settled in with a package of slightly stale cookies and a bottle of milk, when Kyra and Cam’s friend sat down across from him.
Gunn just studied her for a moment.
This woman haunted Emerson. There really wasn’t any denying that.
“I used to think that Emerson and Collin Riordan were monsters, you know.”
Gunn just nodded. Emerson had told him about how he had been as a child. “I’m sorry. I know he wasn’t very kind to you.”
“He wasn’t very kind to anyone. Emerson or his brother Collin.”
“Emerson isn’t like that any longer. And I think… his childhood weighs on him probably more than it does… others.” Emerson had admitted to him before—he’d been a mean bully. He had earned his father’s praise by being tougher than other kids. By controlling them. Until it had become who he was.
He and his brother weren’t like that now.
“He still feels like the little boy who knows what he did was wrong, but doesn’t know how to make it right.”
It wasn’t Gunn who said it. It was her. But it was true. “He feels… guilt. For your brother. For how he acted as a child. And for… JD Rei. It’s eating him alive. And I don’t know how to help him. He isn’t getting any help from his father, that’s for sure. And his mother is in assisted living. All Emerson has is Collin… and me, now. He’s alone. And… it’s hurting him so much. I don’t really know what to do to make it better.”
“I hate to hear that. People… spoke highly of him. In his church.”
“He lives his words, his faith. Since I have known him, he has. We’ve been friends for almost a dozen years now. But a part of him still feels… unworthy. Like he did something somehow, to earn what JD Rei did to the people Emerson was trying to lead. Like… he was being paid back for his sins.”
“He wasn’t. JD Rei had a type and he had a territory. It just so happened Evalyn, Nebraska was in it.”
“He fully believes he let people down. And… he’s being haunted by three years ago. The fire at his church. Your brother’s children especially weigh on his heart.”
“They are doing fine, you know. I promise.”
“I don’t think it’s me that needs to hear it. Will you talk to him?”
“If I get a chance, I will. It’s time we all put the past behind us. Let go of the guilt. And move on.”
Gunn watched her as she left, headed back to wait with the rest of the family. And he wondered.
Just what he would have to do to help his friend move on from the nightmare?
He just didn’t know.