Chapter 35
35
Father was really angry now. Worse than she had ever seen him. He had come home from work, screaming that that woman from Nebraska had been at his hospital tonight. Adonijah’s sister. With Agent Lake. Agent Lake had been at the hospital, too—with Reverend Hiller.
Judah had said something stupid. And… it had made everything so much worse.
Whatever Judah had said… it had really angered him.
Judah’s lip had stopped bleeding, but his face still looked like someone had dragged him across gravel. The red mark on his cheek was raised and swollen. He’d have bruises and a black eye.
She hadn’t said much—not yet. She was afraid if she opened her mouth, something worse than anger would come out.
Judah hadn’t cried during the beating, and he didn’t cry now. He’d stopped crying when their father beat him long ago.
She wrung out the rag and moved to his arms. Father had used the belt again. He only did that when he was really angry.
“Hold still,” she said, and her voice came out flat.
He obeyed. He always did.
She wanted to believe there had been a line their father wouldn’t cross, but whatever line there might’ve been had disappeared two days ago. This wasn’t correction or discipline or righteous anger. This was just being cruel. He was good at that.
Hurting others, all in the name of his God.
Just because he could.
‘ Spare the rod, spoil the child.’ That was what he’d always said, justifying how he would hurt them. Over and over again. Because he was the man, and God told him he could hurt those smaller and weaker.
Her anger threatened to boil over. Kailey, at the diner, Kailey had asked Dinah about the bruises once. And had told her it was wrong, that no one had the right to hurt her. And Kailey would help her, if she needed it. She’d given Dinah a book, about abusive men and why they did what they did.
Dinah had bawled while she’d read it, and now… she understood. What her father did to them all was wrong.
Because everyone deserved to be safe at home.
Well, Judah did, too.
Her baby brother wasn’t even five-foot-five. If he weighed even as much as Dinah’s one hundred and forty pounds, it would shock her.
He never could fight back against their father, or Hezekiah, who was just as mean and cruel… and evil… as their father.
She rinsed the rag again. Judah still hadn’t spoken.
She lowered herself to sit on the floor beside him, right there in the bathroom between their bedrooms. The bathroom was small, the tile cracked, the cabinet door hanging on one hinge. It had always been that way, but tonight it felt worse. Like… was this the life she wanted for herself?
Judah finally turned his head. He looked at her for a long moment. His eyes were glassy but alert.
“I didn’t do what he said,” he whispered.
“I know.”
“He was already mad when I got home.”
“I know that too.”
“I wasn’t even there when it happened. Three years ago.”
Dinah waited. Judah never talked about what happened back then. He just didn’t. She’d always thought he was just too afraid.
“I was covering. For Hezekiah. And Jeremiah. And… him.”
Her hands stilled on the cloth. She looked at Judah closely now, really looked at him. So young, and… he couldn’t fight back. He was just too small, too young, too helpless. He would never be able to fight back. He would live in fear of their father for the rest of his life.
Nothing was ever going to change.
“They told me it would be fine,” he said, quieter now. “They said it was already over. That nobody would find out.”
“Find out what?”
“I need… to tell you, so you know. I’m not leaving you. I’m leaving him.” His voice cracked. He sounded so young.
He hadn’t ever really had a chance, had he?
Judah didn’t answer right away. His breath came shallow, as if saying the words might pull something loose.
“Adonijah. I… Daddy was there. And Hezekiah. Adonijah was leaving, taking his kids, and going away. Mad about his wife. About… Father Rei wanting Adonijah’s sister. So he was leaving. And Hezekiah… he thought Hezekiah was his friend, Dinah. But Hezekiah hit him first. I was there… I had dropped Hezekiah off, and then Daddy was there, but my truck wouldn’t start so I started walking home. And then I heard… they said it was Joshua and Caleb and Enoch, but… Hezekiah and Daddy and were there, too.”
Adonijah had been beaten nearly to death. He was still in a facility in Nebraska, last she had ever heard. No one had ever said who had done it for real. Her Daddy had said it was probably the feds themselves to set them all up.
Well, Dinah… a part of her had never really believed that.
He looked at her again, and there was no part of him that still resembled the boy he’d been a week ago.
“I heard the yelling and I went to the window to see. I saw it from the window upstairs. Father had Adonijah on the floor. He was hitting him over and over. Not fast. Just… methodical. Adonijah wasn’t fighting. He couldn’t. Hezekiah and Jeremiah were holding him. And he couldn’t fight back. What if Daddy does that to me next time?” Judah’s voice had gone flat again. Not dead—just detached, like he’d had to pull his soul back behind a wall just to keep talking.
“I didn’t watch the whole thing. I ran home. I think… I think Daddy killed people before. And the Bible says thou shall not kill. But I think Daddy has before.”
“Why did they do it?” Dinah asked.
“Because Daddy helped them take all those girls. Daddy and Hezekiah helped Father Rei take all those girls. I… watched them do it once. Hezekiah made me stay in the truck, but… I saw them do it once. When I was thirteen.”
“And that backpack Father Rei brought?”
“I found it, and I buried it. But… I took some of the money, Dinah. More… a lot more than I told Daddy about. And I kept it.”
“Judah, whose money did you use to buy this house?” Were they living in a house built on blood? Her stomach turned just to think about it.
“I used my money for the house, Dinah. I promise. It was money I earned working on Jeremiah’s farm. It was mine. This house is mine, no matter what Daddy’s said.”
“So what happened to Father Rei’s money?”
I hid it. For… later. And I’m going to use it. I’m going to go away. Forever. You should too. I’ll give you some of the money so you can go away, too. Don’t stay here. Don’t let him ruin your life, please. He’s going to make you marry Jeremiah. As soon as he gets you to Idaho. He said you have no choice, and Jeremiah can punish you if you don’t do what he says.”
Sheer terror went through her. Jeremiah horrified her. He just did. “What’s in that bag, Judah?”
“Notebooks. Lists. An old phone. Things… things I think the FBI was looking for three years ago, but I was too scared to give them. I didn’t want Daddy and Hezekiah to get in trouble. I was… afraid of what would happen to us.”
But would it have been so bad if they had ? She and her mother would have found a way to take care of themselves and Judah. And… they would have been just fine.
“I think Daddy is going to kill me someday.”
Dinah felt something break loose in her chest. Just… destroy her in that moment.
She felt the same way, too. Judah wouldn’t survive their father forever. And neither would she. She had her own bruises, after all. She stood slowly and reached for a clean towel.
She had to think. They couldn’t keep living this way.