Chapter 2 #2
“About my attitude over the last couple of days, I have something to tell you.” I adjust my tie and clear my throat. “It’s about the call I took.”
“If the expression on your face is any indication of what you’re going to say, maybe we should postpone any work conversations. I want the rest of the evening to go well.”
I furrow my brow. “My expression?”
“Yes. You have a look of sorrowful resolve. There’s almost a defeated aura around you.”
“I never feel defeated. Stretched and out of my comfort zone, yes. Never defeated.”
And there’s no way I’m losing you forever.
She studies me intently, taking a sip of wine while seeming to ponder something. There’s no doubt in my mind that she knows something she doesn’t want to hear is coming.
She places her wineglass down but keeps her fingers on the stem, twisting the glass in a slow, circular motion. “What do you need to tell me, Jax?”
The server once again interrupts and takes our order. As he steps away, I give him a pointed stare, telling him to give us plenty of time before he returns. He gives me a subtle dip of his chin in acknowledgment.
I shift my gaze back to the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. “You know I care deeply for you.”
“I do.” Her breath shallows. “What’s going on, Jax?”
I brace myself for one of the most difficult conversations I’ve ever had to have. “One of the companies I’ve heavily invested in is under attack. Some issues need my immediate attention.”
“Meaning?”
“I’m leaving for Malaysia tomorrow. I’m sorry, Livianna, but it’s got to be my number one priority.”
“When did you find this out?” She fixes a look of concentration on me, like she’s watching me for the slightest crack of deception.
“Yesterday morning.”
“Then why wait until tonight to tell me? Why dress it up as a romantic date?”
I swallow with my chest burning. “Our date is not a ruse. This evening is meant to be one we’ll both savor.”
Her eyes narrow. “You’ve been referencing Paris. You brought me to a French bistro, and you just said you hope we don’t forget each other. Not only that, but you were acting strange on our walk on the beach last night. Cough it up and tell me what this is really about.”
“Before I explain, understand that you’re not losing me for good. It’s just best if we take a breather while I’m away.”
She flinches back. “How do you go from showing me how much you care to taking a break?”
“Mon trésor, I feel deeper for you than I’ve ever felt about anyone. The issue is I don’t know how long I’ll need to be away. There are security issues with government agencies, tech moguls, lawyers, and more hands than I can count involved. It could take…”
She rubs her lips together and sits straight. “How long?”
I shake my head with my heart emptying. “I don’t know. Likely a month, maybe more.”
“And you can’t be in a long-distance relationship with me during that time?”
I stand, move my chair next to hers, and sit. She’s reaching for her iron mask and that’s the last thing I want.
I pull her into my arms and hold her. “Of course I can, but from what you’ve shared about your past, I don’t want you worrying about anything.”
She softens in my embrace. “But you’re different. You’re nothing like he was.”
I wish I knew who this he was, because if I did, I’d make sure he got taught a lesson on how to treat a woman. This guy royally fucked Livianna up for a while.
When I met her, she was a wild child with nothing but self-destruction in her sights. She’s never told me who he was, just the circumstances of their relationship. It was toxic as fuck and she’s lucky she made it out of it alive.
I keep her secure in my arms for a moment so she can feel how much I care for her. The server approaches but quickly passes by when he realizes he’s not welcome. I allow her to stay where she is until she’s ready for some space.
A few moments pass and she sits back but turns so we’re close and face-to-face. “I trust you, Jax. This situation is miles apart from what I went through.”
“I understand, but hear me out. Truly consider what I’m saying.” I take her wrist in my hand and with my thumb I trace small circular movements over the scars hidden under the tattoos. “You’re a strong woman, Livianna, but you have some deep wounds you’ve never resolved.”
“Yes, I have. That part of my life is history.”
“Just because you’ve moved on doesn’t mean the pain isn’t there. Just look at what the run-in with Zara Blackthorn did to you.”
“I’m not sure I see your point.”
I brush Livianna’s hair behind her shoulder and caress her neck. “You told me you dated someone who was in the entertainment industry and that he had to travel a lot. You said it created problems because people got involved, tabloids ran stories, and you couldn’t reach him half the time.”
“What’s that got to do with us?”
“I’m going to Malaysia, and it’s on the other side of the world. We’ll be in opposite time zones. You have a fall collection you’re working on. And I’ll be buried in meetings, paperwork, and possible litigation.”
“So?”
“There are bound to be stories about both of us in the news. We have no clue what spin they’ll take, but you can rest assured that the gossip columns will try to make something out of nothing. And most importantly, when are we going to find time to connect?”
Her eyes roam around my face like she’s seeking a rebuttal to my explanation even when she knows I’m right.
She leans into my palm where I’m massaging her neck. “Can we try?”
My stomach hardens. “We can, but I won’t hold you back. You’re young. If you meet someone, you should explore your feelings for them with no guilt or worry about doing something wrong.”
She pulls away from me and removes my hand. “Is that what you plan on doing?”
“Livianna, I’ll be working sixteen to twenty hours a day. When do you think I’ll have the space to meet someone when it will be nearly impossible to speak to the only woman I want?”
“I don’t know, but I’m sure there will be times you’ll be able to push work aside and have your own fun. Who knows? Maybe you’ll end up finding a colleague attractive.” Her suspicious tone tells me everything I need to know.
Trying to make this work with her while I’m across the world will end with her doubting me and destroying the trusting foundation we’ve built. I need her to understand that reality.
“Listen to yourself, mon trésor. You’re already looking for my deception, and I’m sitting right in front of you. Imagine a month from now, when I’m on the other side of the earth, how your mind will play tricks on you, making you believe I’m being deceitful or unfaithful.”
“But—”
“No. We both know it’ll happen, and I don’t want to ruin the likelihood of making it back to one another. If our trust is broken, we’ll never have another chance.”
Her eyes gloss over, but she blinks rapidly to distract either me or herself from the agony of my truth. “Jax, does this mean we’re over?”