Chapter 48 Kailin
KAILIN
"When caught between powerful magnetic currents, even the wisest dragon may lose its bearings."
—Ancient Elucian Teaching
The double doors to the dining hall swung open, and I nearly stumbled backward at the unexpected sight. Unlike the austere stone corridors we'd just traversed, the chamber before us was alive with warmth and mouthwatering aromas.
Three long tables stretched across the room, laden with platters of steaming food—roasted meat, mountains of vegetables, baskets of fresh bread, and pitchers of what looked like some kind of juice or wine.
But more surprising than the feast was the reception. The staff stood in the back of the room next to the door leading to the kitchen, and the cadets who had been selected in the two previous pilgrimages stood next to the tables. The moment we entered, they broke into applause.
"Welcome, new riders!" called a stout woman who appeared to be the head cook, given the pink pointed hat covering her hair.
I felt awkward, not knowing what to do other than murmur my thanks for the feast and the warm welcome, but with Shovia by my side, my awkwardness didn't last long.
Never one to hold back, she extended her hand to the nearest server, a young man with a nervous smile.
"Thank you so much! I'm Shovia, and this meal and your warm welcome mean the world to us.
" She moved to the woman standing next to him.
"This was the most grueling experience of my life.
" She moved to the next. "Did you know that we almost lost half our group in an avalanche? "
The cook nodded. "We would love to hear all about it, dear, but the food is waiting, and everyone is hungry. Eat first. Talk later."
Given the many murmurs of agreement, the cook was right, and even though the tea had made me forget about the hunger, I wanted to sit down, eat, and relax.
It had been a long and eventful day, and I was exhausted physically and mentally.
"They always do this," said a female voice behind me. I turned to find one of the cadets from the previous pilgrimages sitting backward on her bench so she could talk to us. "I'm Lilah. Second pilgrimage of this year."
"Kailin." I stretched my arm across to her.
She shook my hand and then Shovia's. "The kitchen staff consists mostly of people who failed rider training or got injured and couldn't continue.
They wanted to stay, so they took on auxiliary duties.
" She looked around as if she was about to tell us a secret, then leaned forward.
"Most have a partner who's a rider, and some even have kids.
The Citadel is not just a military installation. It's a community."
"That's nice." I wondered why Dylon never mentioned any of this.
Was it really a secret that only riders were privy to? Or did he want to avoid Gran's prodding about finding a nice rider girl to settle down with?
"Yeah." Lilah waved a hand at the table. "Better start eating or Darma will swat you with her spatula."
I chuckled. "Wouldn't want that."
As I turned around and started loading my plate with all the goodies on offer, I caught the formidable head cook looking at me with a small smile, lifting her full lips.
I couldn't help but look for the spatula Lilah had mentioned, but Darma's hands were empty, and I was ready to dismiss it as a joke when I saw it tucked into the pocket of her apron.
Did she really go around swatting people for not eating what she'd prepared?
Next to me, Shovia was stuffing morsels of food into her mouth while regaling several staff members and cadets with the story of our treacherous crossing of the makeshift bridge.
From where I was sitting, I had a clear view of Alar, who chose to sit at the next table over with his back to the wall.
Codric and several other male cadets were sitting with him, and so was Morek.
Occasionally, I caught him flicking his gaze in my direction, and each time I met his eyes, the coldness there made me look away quickly.
What had happened to the man who had kissed me with such tenderness in the cave?
"What did he do?" Shovia asked.
I hadn't even noticed that she'd finished her stories and had turned her attention to me.
"Who said he did anything?"
She chuckled. "The tension between you two is so sharp that it could cut down trees. So, what gives?"
I'd never heard that expression before, but coming up with unique and oddly appropriate phrasing was one of Shovia's many talents. I could imagine a metal string stretching between Alar and me, pulled so tightly that it could serve as a garrote.
"Nothing." I busied myself with stuffing my mouth with a piece of perfectly roasted potato.
"Right." She rolled her eyes.
"I think he's jealous," I finally said.
"Ah." Understanding dawning in her eyes, Shovia nodded. "Commander Tall, Dark, and Brooding can make most men insecure in their masculinity, so you can't really blame poor Alar for feeling that way."
I'd told her about Ravel and my strange reaction to him, but Shovia hadn't thought it was strange at all. Her words had been, "I would do him in a heartbeat. He's mouthwateringly yummy."
I hadn't told her about my ability to communicate with Ravel's dragon, though. Did it mean that Ravel and I were meant to be together? Or was it just a fluke, and I could communicate with other dragons as well?
I nodded miserably, taking a bite of the tender roast. It was perfectly seasoned, but I barely tasted it. "It wasn't like that. I felt a connection, but it wasn't romantic."
"Right." She seemed amused. "Because you are just too sanctimonious to feel what every other hot-blooded female in your place would."
As always, Shovia was spot on. "I couldn't help the attraction, but that doesn't mean I wanted to take it any further than that." I rubbed a finger over my pulsing temple. "That strange connection is so damn confusing. I'm getting a headache."
"It's that damn tea," Shovia said. "We are experiencing withdrawal symptoms."
It was my turn to roll my eyes. "We didn't get addicted to the tea, so we can't experience withdrawal."
A giggle from across the table drew my attention to a petite girl with a riot of brown curls that had a reddish hue to them and eyes that were a startling shade of green.
"Sorry," she said. "I'm Neera, and I couldn't help but overhear your conversation. I agree with your friend. Commander Ravel could make even Darma blush."
"See?" Shovia nudged me. "It's a perfectly normal biological response and nothing to feel guilty about."
"I'm not feeling guilty." I took a deep breath and smiled at Neera. "I'm Kailin, and this is Shovia."
"Nice to meet you, Neera," Shovia said.
As the two launched into gushing about how hot Ravel was, I found my gaze drawn back to Alar. He was engaged in conversation with a blonde cadet, a pretty girl with high cheekbones and a musical laugh I could hear across the dining hall.
Watching her touching his arm, her long fingers resting occasionally on his bicep, something uncomfortable twisted in my stomach, and suddenly I understood how Alar had felt about Ravel whisking me away on his dragon.
"That's Vessa," Neera said, following my gaze. "Second pilgrimage of this year. Enviably, she has both beauty and brains, and she's Captain Odinah's favorite."
The twist in my stomach tightened. Of course, Alar would be drawn to someone like her, a top-of-the-line candidate.
Only the best for Alar.
"Don't worry about her," Neera said, misreading my expression. "She flirts with all the guys. It's just a power play and doesn't mean she's interested. She just enjoys all of them drooling after her."
That wasn't much of a comfort. I didn't want Alar drooling after anyone but me.
Forcing my attention back to my food, I was determined to enjoy my meal and not obsess over what was going on in Alar's head, and whether he was flirting with Vessa to get back at me or was truly interested in her.
"So, what's the training like?" Shovia asked, skillfully changing the subject. "They told us it's intense, but what does it actually mean?"
"Forget about sleeping for the first month," Neera said bluntly. "Physical conditioning starts before dawn, theory classes all morning, practical application all afternoon, then study groups or solo cramming until lights out. Some nights you'll be so exhausted you'll fall asleep at your desk."
"But it's worth it," the guy sitting next to Neera added quickly. "We get to be riders and form a unique bond with the most magnificent creatures in the world."
The passion in his voice was genuine, and since I experienced a taste of the bond with Onyx, I wondered what a full bond would feel like.
The conversation with Ravel's bonded dragon hadn't felt any different than any other I had except that it had taken place inside my mind, but the connection I felt to Onyx and to his rider was undeniable.
As my eyes drifted to Alar once more, I heard the guy who'd said it was worth it introducing himself as Davin and then naming the other cadets who had arrived before us.
Tarren, who was brilliant with languages but hopeless in physical combat. The twins, Rula and Rylon, who finished each other's sentences. Helsa, who was more brawn than brains.
Alar must have felt my gaze and lifted his eyes, stunning me with the clear anger in his expression. It made me flinch, and I quickly averted my gaze.
"Don't take it too seriously," Shovia murmured in my ear. "It's just wounded pride. Men are simple creatures. Bruise their ego, and they turn into sulking infants."
I turned to her. "Did you see how he looked at me?"
She sighed. "Sweet, naive Kailin. Do yourself a favor and stop thinking of him as a man and think of him as a toddler. Things will become much clearer then."
I had no idea what she meant by that, but then I knew as much about toddlers as I knew about men, which wasn't much, and Shovia knew a lot about both.
"But I didn't do anything," I protested. "He has no right."
"He thinks he does," Shovia said. "Because of what happened in the cave."
"I hate you," I muttered, but there was no heat in it.
"You adore me," she corrected. "Just talk to him, and if that doesn't help, slap him and tell him to snap out of it."
I didn't know if she meant for me to slap Alar literally or metaphorically, and I didn't ask in case she meant the former. I wasn't about to do that.
When I caught him glancing my way again, his expression had changed to something unreadable, but the twist in my stomach didn't loosen.
In fact, it tightened.
Not that it was going to deter me from having a talk with the stupid man about making presumptions based on mere impressions.
Whatever was happening with Ravel and the strange connection I was experiencing with him didn't change what had grown between Alar and me during the pilgrimage.
I wasn't going to let him throw it all away because of petty jealousy.