Chapter 49 Alar
ALAR
"Truth is like a blade, necessary but sometimes dangerous."
—Commander Brusdick Gorlin, Elite Forces' Vedona Academy
"Istill can't believe that all five of us made it," Morek said between mouthfuls. "What are the odds?"
"Astronomical." I took another forkful of stew. "But clearly not impossible."
Terral, Morek's roommate, leaned his elbow on the table, holding his fork out like it was a pedagogical pointer. "It's unheard of for an entire quintet to be chosen. Were you friends before? Did you feel any special bond forming between you during the pilgrimage?"
I'd been wondering the same thing. Codric and I had met Kailin and Shovia at the bar in the pilgrims' lodge, and I had to admit that the connection had been immediate.
Codric and Shovia had spent the night together right away, and the only reason that Kailin and I hadn't was because we were more reserved people who preferred to get to know each other first. It didn't mean that we hadn't felt the connection like they had. If anything, it had been stronger.
Well, until that commander had swooped her up on his dragon.
But what about Morek?
He'd grown up with Shovia and had known Kailin since she was sixteen.
The three of them had been friends for a long time, but Codric and I had only gotten to know him during the pilgrimage, and I hadn't felt any special affinity toward him.
Frankly, I only felt it toward Kailin, and Codric was my cousin and best friend.
Shovia and Morek were just acquaintances to me.
"We got to know each other a few days before the pilgrimage.
" Codric tore off a piece of bread and dipped it in the stew sauce on his plate.
"But I don't think it had anything to do with our entire quintet getting chosen.
We worked well together, though, so maybe that's why.
Supposedly, they watched us during the trek, and we got graded based on how well we worked as a team. " He smiled. "And we were great."
"Or perhaps something else is going on," I said, too quietly for anyone but Codric to hear.
He gave me a look. "Like what?"
I shrugged. "Fate, providence, whatever you want to call it."
My words were meant for public consumption, not for Codric, but he understood that I couldn't tell him my suspicions in front of the others, and he let it go.
Saphir knew my true identity, and it had something to do with Codric's and my selection.
As for the others, I had no clue. Kailin's brother was a rider, so she had the right genetics, but she was afraid of heights, so she wasn't the best choice.
Shovia was gutsy, resilient, and tenacious, but she'd never wanted to be a rider, and frankly, I thought she would have done better in the Spy Corps.
Morek was a good guy, but not the brightest, and riders needed to be smart, at least in my opinion.
"Can I join you?" A female voice sounded from behind me.
I turned to see one of the cadets chosen from the previous pilgrimages. She was pretty, blonde, and curvy in all the right places.
"Of course," Codric said with a grin, sliding and making room for her between us. "I'm Codric, and this is my much less fun cousin, Alar."
The guy couldn't stop flirting if his life depended on it. How did Shovia tolerate it?
Did she even care?
Would Kailin care if I talked to the pretty cadet?
"I'm Vessa." She didn't seem to mind sitting between us. In fact, she wore the expression of a satisfied cat.
It was low of me, but I made a point of engaging Vessa in conversation and giving the appearance of being interested in her, hoping Kailin would notice and get a taste of her own medicine.
With Vessa doing most of the talking, I only had to contribute minimally to keep the conversation going and could split my attention between appearing to be engaged by her and watching Kailin from the corner of my eye.
She laughed at something Shovia had said, the sound carrying across the space between us, and it made my chest feel too tight. It had been only yesterday that she'd laughed like that with me, and I missed it.
I wanted it back.
Vessa kept talking, and I kept making noncommittal sounds, but if anyone asked me what she'd said to me, I wouldn't be able to recall a single thing.
Eventually, she noticed that I wasn't really there for her and turned her attention to Codric.
I stifled a sigh of relief and loaded my plate with another helping. I was no longer hungry, my stomach having shrunk during the three-day fast, and food wasn't going to fill the gnawing hole in my gut, but I ate everything, and by the time I was done, Codric was ready to leave.
We found our room after only getting turned around once, and when we got inside, Codric flopped onto one of the beds. "Not the most comfortable accommodations I've ever had, but far from the worst."
I sat on the other bed, testing its firmness. "It's fine, but you shouldn't lie down on it with your dirty clothes on. Go shower first."
"I will, and the bed is not made yet." Codric propped himself up on one elbow. "I can wipe the mattress clean with a rag."
"That's just extra work."
"I don't want to go now when everyone is showering. I'll wait for later when it's less busy in there."
There was some logic to that. I didn't like communal showers either, and I preferred to wait until I had some privacy.
"You need to talk to her," Codric said.
I didn't need him to elaborate about who I needed to talk to. "I have nothing to say to Kailin.” I opened my pack and began to organize my belongings.
It was true, whether I was angry at her or not. It was her right to choose whom she wanted to be with, and I had no right to complain. I wasn't her husband or even her boyfriend. She owed me no explanations.
"Then just kiss her. Sometimes that's better than talking.
" Codric shifted onto his back and folded his arms under his head.
"Since no one said anything about fooling around with other cadets being disallowed, I could switch rooms with Kailin.
I wouldn't mind spending the night with Shovia, so you can talk with her friend. "
I paused, a folded shirt in my hands. "Kailin and I are friends, nothing more. But if you want to be with Shovia, I can ask Morek if I can sleep on the floor in his room."
Codric sighed. "Always so noble, Alar. Has it occurred to you that having allies who care about you might actually help your objective, not hinder it? It's obvious that they value cooperation here, and your friendship with Kailin might be an asset rather than an obstacle."
That had occurred to me after realizing that all five of us had been selected, but it was irrelevant to the current situation. Kailin was interested in someone else. Besides, she was a patriot, and I was here to snoop after her people's most guarded secrets.
A knock at our door interrupted the uncomfortable silence, and my stupid heart leaped, expecting it to be Kailin for some reason, but when Codric opened the door, it was Morek standing in the hallway.
"Some of us are gathering in the lounge," he said. "You two want to come?"
I wondered if it meant that the others had already showered and that I could go now.
Codric looked at me, eyebrow raised in question. "You game?"
I shook my head. "I'm done for today. All I want to do is shower and get into bed."
Which reminded me that I still had to make my bed.
"I'm in," Codric told Morek and then turned back to me. "Last chance to be sociable, cousin."
"I'll pass. Enjoy yourselves."
After they left, I intended to hit the showers, but I needed something to calm my nerves, so I pulled out my journal.
I'd been planning to copy the layout of the academy from the sketch someone had left on the wall, and the sooner I did that, the better.
It would help me memorize it so I wouldn't get turned around again.
The academy occupied just a small portion of the Citadel, but the sketch didn't include anything other than the second level, which housed our dormitories and some of the classrooms.
Naturally, I would need to verify its accuracy, but it was a good start.
The task was mechanical, allowing my mind to drift, and my thoughts returned unbidden to the moment when Ravel had approached Kailin with all the swagger and confidence of a commander in the famed Fury Wing.
The recognition in her eyes had been unmistakable, and something about it continued to bother me beyond simple jealousy.
Was he the rider she'd met during the Shedun attack on her village five years ago? Could that have been Ravel? If so, it would explain the recognition.
But it had been more than that.
I was familiar with that awed and besotted look she'd given him. It was the same one that the young ladies at court who had pursued my attention had given me. I had to face my own arrogance and admit that deep down, I believed I was more deserving of such infatuation than the commander.
Frustrated with myself, I rubbed my temples. It wasn't a good feeling to realize that I was more conceited than I had believed myself to be and that my pride and arrogance needed taming.
In here, I wasn't Prince Alaranthus Tekumuton. I was just Alar Tekum.
When a tap at the door interrupted my thoughts, I rose to answer it, half expecting another cadet coming to invite me to the get-together at the lounge, but as I found Kailin standing there instead, my heart leaped at the sight of her.
She wore a determined expression, but I could see the hint of uncertainty underneath it.
"We need to talk," she said.
I was gripped by the absurd urge to pull her into my arms and kiss her like Codric had suggested, but instead, I stepped back. "Please, come in." I gestured for her to enter the room and pulled out my desk chair for her.
"Thank you." She sat down on the edge of the seat and glanced at the journal open on my desk with its map of the academy. "Plotting an escape route?"