Chapter 49 Alar #2
"Learning my surroundings," I said, pulling out the chair from Codric's desk. "So, what is it that couldn't wait until tomorrow?"
I hated the petty words that had come out of my mouth. I knew why she was here, and I admired her for having the guts to do what I should have done, but some contrary part of me didn't want to make it easy for her.
"Why are you avoiding me?" she asked.
The directness of the question caught me off guard. "I'm not avoiding you. You're the one averting your gaze every time you catch me looking at you."
"Because every time I looked, you were glaring at me like I'd offended your mother and spit on your ancestors' graves."
I chuckled. "Did you borrow that phrase from Shovia?"
Kailin blushed. "So what if I did? It fits."
I couldn't argue with that.
"What happened, Alar?" she whispered. "On the pilgrimage, we were...I thought we were..."
"Friends," I supplied when she trailed off.
Her eyes flashed with annoyance. "Is that what we were?"
The question hung in the air between us, loaded with unspoken implications. I could deny it, maintain the emotional distance I'd been trying to establish. Or I could acknowledge the truth—that what had grown between us during the pilgrimage had been more than friendship.
Instead, I opted to go on the offensive. "Who is he to you?"
"Who?" she asked.
"Commander Ravel."
She blinked. "He's my brother's commander."
"And?" I pressed.
"And what? That's it."
"You recognized him when he walked up to you, and you looked at him like he was the embodiment of Elu. Did your brother introduce you two?"
Anger flashed in her eyes. "Is that what this is about? You think there's something between me and Ravel?"
"I don't think anything. I'm just telling you what I saw."
She shook her head. "Commander Ravel was there the night the Shedun attacked my village. I recognized his dragon first and then him. That was the only time I had seen him or spoken to him before the Circle of Fate. Naturally, he left an impression on me that traumatic night."
The explanation aligned with what I'd already guessed, but it still felt like there was something she wasn't telling me.
"That doesn't explain the besotted look on your face when you looked at him," I said, aware that I sounded petulant but unable to stop myself. "Was it just hero worship or something more?"
"Maybe it was the surprise of finding out that he was my brother's commander and marveling at the coincidence of it all?
Maybe it was fear of getting on the back of a dragon for the first time and launching into the sky?
Or maybe both? Did any of these occur to you before you jumped to conclusions? "
I searched her face, looking for signs of deception.
As an Elucian, she was supposed to adhere to the Precepts of Truth, but omitting information was not lying, and the truth could be cloaked in many different ways.
"So, there's nothing between you two," I said, part as a statement and part as a question.
"Nothing whatsoever. He's my brother's commander, and even if he weren't..." She paused, her cheeks coloring slightly. "Even if he weren't, he's not the one I..."
She trailed off, but the implication was clear enough to make my heart rate quicken.
"Not the one you what?" I asked.
She met my gaze directly, challenge in her eyes. "You know what."
I did know, or at least I hoped I did. But part of me needed to hear it said explicitly, needed the confirmation that I hadn't imagined the connection between us.
"I need you to tell me."
She sighed. "I don't want misunderstandings between us, Alar. Things are different now that we are both at the academy. It's no longer as hopeless as we both thought it was before and during the pilgrimage. We can allow this thing between us to grow. We can give each other another chance."
"I would like that." The tight knot in my chest began to unravel.
"I admit that I've been hasty in jumping to conclusions, but it was hard to interpret the scene differently from where I stood.
You barely spared me a glance before climbing his dragon, but I understand now that you were overwhelmed. "
A small smile played at the corner of her mouth. "An apology from the mighty Alar? I should mark this day on my calendar."
"I didn't actually apologize," I pointed out.
"It was implied." She rose to her feet and took a step closer to me. "So, are we friends again? Or...whatever we were?"
The question was an opening, an invitation to define what lay between us.
I hesitated, knowing the wise course would be to maintain distance and focus on my mission, but looking at her now, so close that I could count the faint freckles across her nose, I knew that reason was not going to prevail because it was a poor substitute for what my heart wanted.
"I'd like to find out," I said, standing up and offering my hand to her.
She took it, and a bolt of electricity arced between us.
"Did you feel that?" Kailin asked.
"Every damn time."
I wanted to pull her into my arms and kiss her until she forgot not only Commander Ravel but also her own name, but I didn't want to jump into anything yet. I needed more time to process and decide if I could or should take our relationship any further than this.
If I cared to be honest with myself, it had been convenient to be angry. It had made things easier. The decision had been taken away from me, and all I had to do was brood and feel sorry for myself.
Now the ball was back in my corner, and I needed to take responsibility for it.
We stood there for a moment, the air between us charged with possibility. I started to raise my hand to cup her cheek when another knock sounded at the door.
"Alar? You in there?" Morek's voice sounded through the wood. "Jarren is kicking us out of the lounge, saying that curfew starts in half an hour. Codric asked me to tell you that if you want to shower, you'd better do it quickly."
I had a feeling that the warning wasn't about my shower, which Codric would have assumed I had already taken, but about Kailin needing to leave.
She stepped back, the moment broken. "I'll see you tomorrow, then."
I nodded, reluctant to see her leave. "Breakfast date?"
She smiled. "You got it."