Chapter Eighteen
Adrian
“Neil, you’re my brother, and I’m grateful you and I are becoming closer, but I really resent you interfering in my life under the guise of protecting me.”
He started to sputter. “I’m only—”
“I haven’t finished.” I met his eyes, and his jaw snapped shut.
“Okay, sorry.”
“For years, you and I saw each other on holidays or when I’d come home for the kids’ birthdays. You know nothing about my personal life—if I’ve had boyfriends, bad breakups, or had my heart broken.”
Chastened, he hung his head. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I was so wrapped up in my own life, I left you out there without a safety net. But we’re gonna change that.”
“I can smile about it now because I’m past it, but yeah. I can’t lie. It would’ve been nice to have someone to lean on or talk to. I didn’t have many friends.”
Guilt was written all over his face. “I was always there if you needed me. For God’s sake, Adrian. You should know that.”
“Should I? Why? Even now, you want me to blindly listen to you. Take your word as gospel, no questions asked. I don’t hear you listening to me. But if you thought for a moment about what you’re saying, you’d realize that maybe you’re wrong.”
“So you and Rip are together?”
Frustrated, I slapped my hand on the sticky table, sending my silverware flying. “That’s not the issue. Stop obsessing about what Rip and I might or might not be doing and concentrate on what we’re asking of you.”
“Which is what? I’m still not sure.”
“Respect our privacy. Think about our work, because that’s what we’d like to talk about. You barely asked me anything about the show, except with respect to Rip.”
“I-I figured you’d tell me if anything was wrong.”
“What about if it went right?” Rip glared at him before turning to me. “I want to know. What did Rob say? How were the ratings?”
Breaking eye contact with Neil, I gave Rip the full force of my joy. “It was the highest rated premiere they’d had in three years.” Late in the afternoon, Rob had called and given me the news. “The network head loved the format.”
“Yeah, baby.” Rip whooped. “I knew it. Didn’t I tell you that you crushed it?”
“You did, but—”
“But you still doubt yourself, don’t you?
” Neil broke in with the heat of anger. “I can see it in your eyes. I thought the show was terrific, and I’m not just saying that because you’re my brother.
Also, don’t think I’m using my friendship with Rob to push you ahead.
Yeah, I helped you get your foot in the door, but all this is your accomplishment.
And I have no doubt it’s only the beginning. ”
Hearing Neil’s confidence got me emotional. “Thank you.”
Neil frowned. “I don’t get why you have so little faith in yourself.
Considering it was your first show, you handled the questions like a pro, and you’re only gonna get better.
I’m really, really proud of you, Adrian.
I can’t understand why you didn’t succeed at the other jobs. I think you’re a natural.”
I met Rip’s eyes, and he gave me a tiny nod of encouragement. Funny how having the gift of Rip’s friendship and support gave me a strength I wasn’t aware I possessed.
“I never told you, but I didn’t leave my other jobs voluntarily.
It wasn’t because I wanted to try different markets.
” Out of sight, under the table, Rip ran his foot over mine, and his touch gave me the strength to tell the truth.
I set my jaw. “I screwed up. Bad.” I ran down the list, and with each mistake, it was like a weight lifted from my chest. Where I once cringed and would beat myself up for my stupidity, I now could learn and move on without letting it crush me.
“Crap, Adrian. I’m sorry.” Neil’s lips twitched. “But I gotta say, that must’ve been a kick in the balls to Calvin Connelly.”
My brow furrowed. “You knew my news director at KABL?”
“I’ve met him a couple of times throughout the years. A real putz.” He snickered.
Rip took a big bite of his burger and gave me a wink. For the first time, I felt like I belonged in the inner circle he and Neil had created.
“Yeah, he was. I swear he was a homophobe—that’s why he stuck me with the gossip and fashion news. He believes that’s all gay men are good for. He always thought he was a superstar athlete because he played college hockey.”
Rip poured some water into his glass. “Well, we all know that’s not true. Bet Neil could whoop his ass.”
“No shit. I’m pretty rusty, though. I haven’t played in months,” Neil remarked and finished his coffee. “When the season’s finished, we should get together. Have a little one-on-one.”
It was a major part of their lives I’d always been left out of. I finished as much of my food as I wanted and wiped my fingers free of ketchup. “I want to learn to skate.”
Both Neil and Rip wore the same surprised expression.
“What? Why?” Neil asked. “You tried and hated it.”
I raised a shoulder. “I was a kid then. It’s important to you, and I want to try again.” Some of my old insecurities crept in. “Don’t you think I can do it?”
“I think you can accomplish anything you want,” Rip stated, and from the possessiveness burning in his eyes, he wasn’t only talking about skating.
Later on, after we said good-bye to Neil and were in Rip’s apartment, I brought it up once more.
“Do you think I can learn to skate at my age, or were you just humoring me?”
Rip kicked off his sneakers and peered at me with a furrowed brow. “You’re serious about that? Why, all of a sudden?”
“I don’t know. I just…I want something I can share with both you and Neil.
Tonight, sitting with the two of you, I felt seen for the first time.
I wasn’t that annoying little tagalong getting in the way.
” Funny how merely saying it brought me back to those days when I’d watch Neil and Rip, shoulder to shoulder.
No daylight between them. No room for anyone else.
Rip hauled me to his chest, and I grabbed on to his broad shoulders. “Are you kidding me? After everything, you still think that’s how I feel about you?”
It was impossible to answer with Rip holding me so close.
His heat, sweat, and woodsy cologne sent my stomach into free fall, and I dug my fingers into his skin.
His mouth covered mine, tongue seeking entrance, and I sucked it with vigor.
One big hand cupped my cheek while the other clamped on my ass.
I groaned as Rip’s erection slid alongside mine, and he rolled his hips, creating a delicious friction.
“Oh God, how do you do that?” I shivered.
He smiled against my cheek. “Do what?” He moved again, and I clutched his shoulders.
“That, you monster. You know exactly what you’re doing.”
Chuckling, he squeezed one cheek, then the other. “I can stop if you want.”
“I might have to kill you if you do,” I groaned and nipped his earlobe.
“You’re halfway there already,” he hissed, and popped open my slacks. His nimble fingers pulled the zipper and yanked my pants and briefs down. Still kissing frantically, I stepped out of them while Rip lost his sweats and underwear. He pulled me to the bedroom and ripped my shirt off.
“That was brand-new,” I muttered as it fell to the floor.
“I’ll buy you another one. As many as you want.” Rip’s head popped out from beneath his sweatshirt. “Matter of fact, you should have some clothes here for when you stay. Like tonight.”
“Mmm, am I? Staying…ohhhh.” I sighed as he wrapped his rough, big hand around my cock and began to work its length.
His thumb swirled over the sensitive head, and I babbled, “Yeah, that’s a good idea.
Very, very good. Oh, damn.” My head lolled on his shoulder as I felt his blunt, calloused finger enter me.
Its rough caress had me shamelessly begging for more. “Please, don’t stop.”
“You like that? How about this?”
Now there were two, working deep in my ass, and with Rip playing my body like a musical instrument, Shaking, I came, my dick jerking against his sculpted abs.
“Damn, baby. Your face…” He kissed my gasping lips. “Like a fucking angel.”
My long-ago crush was nothing compared to the reality of having Rip in my arms, taking me apart piece by piece.
This complicated man was so much more than muscles and speed.
People only saw that one side of him, but when the cameras turned off and the fans went home, he was like the rest of us—trying to make it in this muddled world.
“I-I need you,” I managed, the words inadequate compared to what I held in my heart.
Under the bruises and scrapes from the game, his gorgeous face lit up, golden eyes sparking with desire. “I need you too. So damn much. Your passion and sweetness. Need to be inside you. Feel you take me.”
I nodded, and he gently laid me on the bed. His fingers teased me, lips kissing my skin, leaving a scorched path wherever they touched. Still in a haze, I watched him roll on the condom, his penetrating gaze never leaving mine.
“Rip.” My lips moved, but I couldn’t be certain any sound came out.
Slowly, he entered me, and I welcomed the stretch as he filled me, inch by thick, glorious inch. A small moan broke free from my lips, and I arched up to meet him.
When he was buried to the hilt, he kissed me, slowly at first, with increasing hunger.
I met him lick for lick. Touch for touch.
He began to thrust, hard and fast. I tangled my fingers in his hair and met him with the same ferocious need.
My nails raked down his back as he pummeled into me.
Rip was everywhere—under my skin, burning through my veins, burrowed in my heart.
“Adrian. Adrian,” he cried out, and I held on as he lifted my legs over his shoulders.
“I’m here,” I answered, my hand working my rapidly hardening dick. “You’ve got me.”
“Don’t leave me,” he begged. “Please don’t leave me.
” Wetness fell from his face to mine, and seeing his tears, my heart shattered.
I reached up, and his lips found mine. Locked together, he swelled and throbbed within me and came, his heavy body pinning me.
I reveled in his complete surrender and held on to his sweaty body.
I love you, I mouthed against his skin. I love you.
“That was incredible,” he murmured in my neck and kissed me.
“Yeah, it was.”
“I meant what I said.” With care, he pulled out and got rid of the condom, then returned to my side. “You should leave some of your stuff here. I like falling asleep with you.” He pressed his lips to my cheek. “And waking up with you.”
“Me too. But since I don’t have anything tonight, I’m gonna have to go home at some point.” The thought of moving from the bed was incomprehensible, but I couldn’t go into the office with a ripped shirt and wrinkled slacks.
“That sucks.” He sounded so petulant, I had to laugh, and he opened one eye and joined me. “I’ll teach you,” he said through his smiles.
“Teach me?”
“To skate.” He sat up and flicked on the light. “After the season, we’ll go up north where I rent ice time, and I’ll teach you.”
Wistful, I swung my legs off the side of the bed and stared at the shiny, dark wooden floor. A soft rug in varying shades of gray and blue lay under my feet. “On the weekend that’ll be nice. But remember, I have a job. I know you’re probably used to being with someone more like you—”
“Someone like me?” His brow furrowed. “Meaning what?”
“I told you, I’ve seen whom you’ve dated—models, actors, athletes. Never anyone with a nine-to-five job, like me. I can’t be with you for months on end, doing fun stuff, or just go somewhere at the drop of a hat.” I chewed my lip. “I’m afraid you’ll get bored. I’m just a regular guy.”
“Regular guy?” He put his arm around me. “Maybe so. But you’re my guy. So that makes you special. Don’t ever let anyone tell you you’re not.”
His words warmed me, but I still pressed on because I had to hear it from him. “And what I said? You’re okay with a different kind of relationship? With a different kind of man?”
“As long as that man is you.”