Chapter Twenty-Four
Sterling
“I don’t know why you agreed to this. Eventually the issue between Adrian and me will work itself out. And frankly, you don’t have to talk with him at all. He’s the husband of your teammate.”
I ran an assessing eye across the large kitchen island.
With three of the four of us living in Brooklyn, and Denis and Rip having practice earlier, it made sense to have the dinner at Denis’s apartment.
It was as much for my benefit as it was for his.
Denis didn’t need the reminder that he used to live with Rip at his place, plus it was where he’d made his ridiculous proposition that had gotten us into this mess.
Denis lay in a chair, one long leg flung over the arm.
“Because enough is enough. And Rip is my friend. He says Adrian is walking around like a sad puppy and he can’t take it anymore.
It’s affected our dynamic on the ice as well as off.
Plus, I’m tired of hearing about it. We’re going to discuss it like adults. ”
I took out the dressing for the salad and the tray of chicken and vegetable kebobs. I’d made sure the dinner would be at least a little healthy because I was certain Denis ate garbage anytime he was away.
“You’ve got more of an issue with him than I do.” I stood staring at the platter. Much as I wanted Denis and Adrian to make up, I had other, more important things on my mind.
“And I fully intend to make sure it will all be solved by the time they leave tonight.”
The buzzer sounded, and Denis hopped up to answer. A few minutes passed before the bell rang, and Rip stood with a visibly nervous Adrian by his side.
“Come in, mes amis.” Denis stepped aside, allowing the two men to pass. “We are all friends here.”
Rip squeezed Adrian’s hand, and they both took off their jackets.
The days were getting shorter and the weather chillier.
I mourned the end of fall, when you could run outside without a jacket, scarf, and gloves and didn’t have only the cold and dark winter to look forward to.
Although now, with Denis to spend my nights with, it might be nice to stay at home and cuddle under the covers.
I blinked. What the actual fuck? I didn’t cuddle.
That wasn’t me, the hard-nosed reporter with a life dedicated to the news.
But realistically, who would’ve thought I’d be in love with a hockey legend whose ego was only surpassed by his talent?
“Hi, Sterling.” Rip approached, and I put on my neutral friendly face. “Busy time for you with the political season heating up.”
“Yes. But Adrian is doing a good job with the reporting.”
My praise did little to alleviate the strain on Adrian’s face.
Denis joined us and pointed at Adrian. “All right. Let’s do this because I don’t feel like sitting around all night waiting for one of us to bring the subject up.
Adrian, I was very upset and hurt that you went to Sterling and told him about something that had been put to bed, fait accompli.
If it didn’t bother Rip or me, why did you feel the need to stir up the pot? ”
My lips twitched. “It’s just stir the pot.”
He arched a brow. “Whatever.”
Adrian swallowed hard. “Well…I’m sorry, but I wasn’t aware you two were serious, and though you’d been nice, Denis, I wasn’t sure you’d changed.”
“And again: I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” Denis said, and behind the mild-mannered facade, I knew he was seething.
“Sterling and I are adults. Older than you. Whatever our personal lives are, it isn’t your business.
If you have a problem with threesomes or any other sexual partnerships, that’s your issue.
But your insinuation to Sterling was that I planned to sexually trap him into something devious and dangerous. ”
“Come on, Denis. That’s a little out there, isn’t it?” Rip complained.
“I don’t think so,” I jumped in. “I didn’t ask for Adrian’s opinion.
He’s constantly tried to set me up with people, but I never asked him to do that.
Adrian, I appreciate you thinking of me and your concern that Denis might not be who he seemed.
But I don’t need your or anyone else’s dating help.
You put your foot in it, and now you have to figure out how to win not only my trust, but Denis’s as well. ”
Adrian met my eyes. “I’m sorry. I was wrong, and if you and Denis are together and happy, that’s all that matters.
” He shifted focus to Denis, who stood with his powerful arms folded.
“Denis. I apologize. I was totally out of line to dig up something that was put to bed. I won’t deny it bothered me, and it’s prevented me from trusting you, but the way I handled it was hurtful.
I can understand why you believed I was sabotaging your relationship.
I thought I was looking out for a friend, but in doing so, I only created more problems.”
Denis remained silent, and I did as well. Both of us had perfected masks of neutrality to hide all the hurt we’d lived with, while Adrian, who wore his heart on his sleeve, grew visibly emotional.
“It was a very foolish thing for me to do, and I hope you can forgive my overstepping. From now on, I’ll keep my nose out of everyone’s personal business and concentrate on my husband and my own life.
” He ducked his head. “I’m really, really sorry.
I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea, but I can’t undo it. I can only move forward.”
Denis was the one most wronged, so I waited for his response. He pushed his hair off his face and blew out a breath. Knowing him intimately as I did now, I sensed his frustration.
“I don’t like conflict. Rip and I play together, and it’s been fucking with my head.
But I do realize most of this is my fault.
I was a fool to bring that ridiculous proposal to Rip in the first place.
And why? Because I was jealous of your happiness at a time when my life was falling apart yet again.
But even then, I knew full well Rip would toss me out on my ass. ”
It was fascinating to see Denis through this lens of love, now, and not scorn. He’d changed so much since those first days together. And so had I.
“We all do things we regret, sometimes even when it comes to love,” I said softly and squeezed Denis’s hand. He returned the pressure.
Denis closed his eyes for a second. “Shall we wipe the slate clean? I was thoughtless, and so were you, Adrian. Now we start fresh. D’accord?” He glanced at me and winked. “That means, okay?”
I pretend-glared. “No shit.”
Adrian leaned over and asked Rip, “Does that mean he’s not mad at me anymore?”
Rip chuckled. “I think so.”
I nudged Denis. “That was nice.”
“I’m a nice guy.”
I picked up the tray of food. “I have to heat these through, but there’s a salad while we wait.”
Denis took out bowls. “I should’ve warned you both ahead of time. Sterling doesn’t serve snacks like chips or all the little appys I love.” He pouted. “He’s a food warden.”
“Somehow I doubt that.” Rip took the tongs and put a generous serving of greens and vegetables in his bowl as well as Adrian’s.
“He looks great, and I’m sure he wants you to be in the best shape possible.
It’s nice to have someone who cares about you, isn’t it?
Especially when your family isn’t nearby.
” He drizzled oil and vinegar on his and Adrian’s salad.
A pang hit my heart seeing Denis pale and quickly turn away. Rip didn’t know Denis’s painful family history or how his casual words would hurt. I sought to change the subject.
“So who has been your toughest opponent this year so far? I’ve tried to watch the games, but I’m still such a novice. I can’t pick up who is in what position. I only know the goalie.” I smiled at Rip. “And the center because I know your number.”
“Well, the goalie is the most important, as you know.” Denis slipped his arms around my waist and kissed the top of my head.
Adrian and Rip ate their salads, trying not to gawk at us but failing miserably.
“What? You’ve never seen a man kiss his boyfriend?
” He settled his mouth over mine, and I held on to his shoulders to steady myself.
He pulled me close. “I know what you’re trying to do,” he murmured in my ear. “Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.”
But I couldn’t help myself. I worried about his fragile state of mind all the time. Denis liked to project a tough-guy image, but I knew how devastated his family’s rejection had left him.
“You’re better than fine.” I rubbed my cheek to his for a second, and he surprised me by catching my fingers with his.
“You too, you know.”
I dipped my head in acknowledgment. “I’ve got to check the food.”
The afternoon might’ve started out rocky, but it all ended up well between us. Adrian even hugged Denis before he and Rip left. When the door shut after them, Denis leaned against it with a sigh of relief.
“I am so glad that’s finished. Come here.” He held out his arms, and I leaned into his chest. “Now are you ready to tell me what’s on your mind?”
Startled, I tipped up my face to meet his eyes. “What’re you talking about?”
“You are a fabulous lover but a terrible liar. I’ve seen you staring off into space for the past few weeks. Now that this nonsense with Adrian is put to bed, we can concentrate on what’s bothering you.”
I made a face. “It’s…I don’t know what.”
“Considering you make your living attempting to be articulate and that made no sense, you’ve got me concerned.”
“Attempting to be articulate?” I pretended outrage. “How about some wine, and we can sit?”
“I won’t say no.”
I poured two glasses and joined him on the couch. I sipped and set it on the side table. “I had a call from a headhunter about a job as an anchor on a cable news network. I should’ve told you, but between your schedule and this thing with Adrian, I forgot.”
A big smile broke across Denis’s face. “But that’s wonderful. It is, isn’t it?” His brow furrowed when I didn’t answer.
“I don’t know. I told him I was interested, but I haven’t received a call back. The job may not even be available anymore.”
“So call the headhunter. Do it now.”
I laughed. “It’s past seven thirty on a Saturday night.”
“So what? I bet he’ll answer whatever questions you have. If I call my agent or lawyer, they always answer me—if not immediately, pretty damn quick.”
Should I point out that he was a famous sports star with a multimillion-dollar contract and sponsorships, while I was a local news anchor with a small following but nowhere near that kind of influence? I tried to be diplomatic.
“You might have slightly more pull than I do.”
He set his glass on the table. “Not where it counts.” He ran his foot on mine. “For instance, I am putty in your hands.”
“You are anything but. Putty is soft and malleable. You are hard as a rock. Everywhere.” At his smirk, I settled into the crook of his shoulder.
“So what do you plan to do about it?” he asked.
My phone buzzed with an alert. I had my notifications set for the top stories of the day. “Give me one minute, and I’ll show you.”
“You’re checking news stories instead of making love to me. We have a lot to work on, mon amour.”
I was frozen. Unable to stop reading what was on my screen.
“Sterling? Sterling.”
When I didn’t respond, Denis plucked the phone from my nerveless fingers and read.
“Merde,” he swore. “What now?”
As I had all my life, I gathered my strength and wits. “Nothing. Why should it matter? It is what it is.”
He held me by the shoulders. “Don’t lie to me. I’m not a stranger.”
“Why would I lie? My mother, who was never a mother, might be dying.” I picked up my phone again and read: “‘Dahlia Dumont has been admitted to the hospital for a serious, undisclosed illness.’ My world isn’t going to be any different.
I’m not going to miss the nonexistent birthday phone call or Christmas present.
” I shrugged. “You expect me to cry and be upset?”
I tried to break eye contact, but Denis cupped my cheek. “I don’t know what I expect, aside from you feeling safe enough with me to be honest.”
To my horror, my lips trembled and tears burned.
“There was a time…I thought maybe she’d want to reach out.
She’d retired from movies and was running her beauty empire.
No one would care if it came out she had a son.
But she never did. I’m sure the moment she wrote that check to me, she forgot I existed. ”
Soft and gentle, Denis kissed me. “I could never forget you. Now, come with me.”
“Denis, I’m fine. Really.”
He stroked my face. “Don’t argue with me, or I’ll have to carry you.”
“Like you could,” I scoffed.
He rose, grabbed me by the waist, and hauled me over his shoulder. “Never dare me.”
“Denis, what the hell.” I did my best to break free, but he paid no attention.
“You’re only turning me on, you realize, with all that wiggling.” We reached the bedroom, and I slid off him. He held me close. “Let me love you.”
I stood like a child as he undressed first me, then himself, and led me to the shower. He washed my hair and dried me off.
“You want your whole regime, mon cher?”
“No, thank you.” I couldn’t trust my voice above a whisper, and he helped me into sweats and a T-shirt. We got into bed, and he wrapped his big arms around me. No one had ever cared for me like that.
“I’ve been so wrong,” I said, and Denis gazed at me, waiting for an explanation. “Being rejected by my mother…I thought I’d be alone forever. I never thought I had a home. Now I realize it’s you.”
With a smile lighting his face, Denis kissed me gently. “I’ve been waiting where I’ve always been. In your heart. I’m here. For whatever you need from me, whenever it might be.”
Eventually, I heard his even breathing and knew he was asleep. Unlike me. I stayed awake almost until daybreak, thinking of everything that might’ve been and now would never come to pass.