10. Curiosity
10
Curiosity
Amelia
O h shit. Maybe he was just joking at dinner. I feel my face heat up again.
"I… well, I mean… If you want."
"What about you hating me?"
"I told you I don't feel hate. I feel nothing." Contrary to what I've said, my heart starts pounding faster, and a flurry of butterflies dance in my stomach. But that's just because I'm anxious he might say no, I'm sure. I genuinely want to try this submissive thing now that I've set my mind on it. And once I've made up my mind there's no turning back. If he were to say no now I'd be deflated.
"Okay. Not sure feeling nothing is much better, but I think I get what you mean." His voice is quieter than a minute ago.
"If you don't want to, Ben, I would underst—"
"No, that's not it. Sure, okay, fine." Uh, thanks, don't sound quite so excited, why don't you?
"As long as you don't call my dick a baby mole," he adds and I grin. He remembered. And he’s joking. That's a good sign, right?
"Scouts honour."
"You were in the cubs."
"Fine, cubs honour." I relax back against the headboard as a sense of relief engulfs me. Smutty decides to give up trying to attract my attention and struts out of my bedroom with one last disapproving look back. I scramble off the bed to close the door. "So, how do we do that?" I nervously nibble on my bottom lip as the door clicks into the lock, shutting out Smutty and stopping him from judging me.
"Well, tell me what you’d like to try."
"I don't know. Not hitting."
"Spanking. Hitting is something different, but I get it, no spanking. Any other nos? Or anything you are particular interested in? Actually, let me ask you this: what fantasies made you want to give this a try?"
"I… I don't know." The bed sags under me as I crawl back onto the mattress.
"Amelia, you need to be open with me if you want to try this. I need to understand what you’re hoping for and what you don't want. There’s no right or wrong answers. We’ll only do what you want, what excites you. Your taste may change over time. Something that sounds exciting now, might not be quite so appealing once you have tried it, or things you don't want now might get interesting. All of this is fine but you need to talk with me about it."
"No spanking," I object again.
"I know. I got that," he replies patiently.
"The thought of not being in charge excites me. The idea of not having to be the strong person, the person in control. I like the idea of someone taking care of me. Of telling me what to do." As I say the words out loud a warm feeling spreads through me. Yes, this is definitely what I want. "Please tell me if that is just weird, or not what you do, or—"
"Amelia as I said, there’s no right or wrong. But your idea of letting someone else control your pleasure fits exactly with what I do and what I enjoy as a… PD," he chuckles as he uses my abbreviation for pleasure dom.
"It’s weird, but if you told me what to do in life I would probably tell you to go and fuck yourself because I’d hate it. I hate when people tell me what to do like I'm an idiot or a small child. But when it comes to sex, the idea…"
"Gets you horny?" he finishes the sentence for me.
"Yes," I agree, blushing deeply again.
"No, it’s not weird, Amelia. But do you understand this will require trust? Can you trust me?"
His question hangs heavy in the room. Can I?
"I get that and yes, I think I can trust you with this."
"Okay, so now tell me your fantasies." My mind is racing. There are so many things, and I'm clearer on what I don't want.
"No spanking."
"Amelia, I promise you, no spanking," he assures me again.
"I like the idea of doing stuff in public but I don't want to be caught. I don’t want to be embarrassed or humiliated." There is no response. "And, and I have used a butt plug sometimes whe—" I stop talking. I'm mortified that I just admitted that.
"With other men?" There’s an edge to his voice.
"No! On my own… It feels good." I bury my face in my hands.
"Okay, got it. Just toys?" he asks with no judgment in his voice. The fact that he doesn't laugh at me calms me down a little and I lean back again.
"Well, I haven't tried going full in the bum, so to speak. So for now just toys back there, I think."
"Darling, anything you want."
"Was that public thing too much?"
"No." He doesn't elaborate on why he stayed quiet. "What about being tied up?"
"I'm not sure. I definitely don't like the idea of handcuffs or ropes or anything like that. It feels quite brutal to me personally. No judgment," I add in panic in case he’s into that.
"None taken. It’s not for everyone and requires an extra level of trust."
"Oh, okay."
"Amelia, I don't say this lightly, but you can trust me."
"I'm new to all this," I admit sheepishly. "I mean, I've read books and watched movies, but never actually done anything other than vanilla sex."
"That's perfectly fine," he insists. "Everyone starts somewhere. And exploring your desires is all about taking things at your own pace."
His words are comforting and make me feel less anxious. Maybe this won't be as scary as I thought.
"But enough talking," he says suddenly, interrupting my thoughts. "I want you to do something for me."
My heart skips a beat at his commanding tone. What does he want me to do?
"I want you to touch yourself," he says simply.
I freeze for a moment, not sure I heard him correctly.
"You want me to do what?" I stammer.
"Touch yourself," he repeats firmly. "I want you to masturbate while we talk."
I feel the heat rising to my cheeks as I process his words. This is definitely not what I was expecting.
"I... um... I don't know if I can do that," I mumble, suddenly feeling shy and self-conscious.
"Amelia, it's okay," he says gently. "I'm not trying to pressure you into anything. But exploring your sexuality is an important part of this. And what better way to start than with some self-pleasure?"
His words make sense, but it's still a bit overwhelming. I've never had phone sex before.
"Take your time to think about it," he adds. "There's no rush. We can continue talking and see where things go."
I take a deep breath and consider his offer. This is an opportunity for me to step out of my comfort zone and embrace my desires. I wanted this and he’s giving me the first chance to explore my fantasies.
"Okay," I finally say, surprised at my own boldness. "I'll give it a try."
A smile tugs at the corners of my lips as I hear the satisfaction in his voice.
"Good girl," he says approvingly. "Now put your phone on speaker and tell me, are you wearing any underwear?"
He’s straight to the point causing a thrill of excitement to course through my veins.
"Yes, sir," I reply breathlessly. I don't know where that came from. He hadn't asked me to call him anything different, but in this moment I just felt like it. It was my way of showing him I am at his command.
"I want you to take them off," he instructs.
My fingers tremble as I reach down and pull my knickers off, dropping them on the bed beside me.
"Now lie back and close your eyes," he continues. "Let your hand slide over your breasts and tweak one of your nipples."
I shudder a little and not because of the cool air in the room. For a moment I panic, but then I remember it is Ben on the other end of the phone and I relax.
"Move your fingers lower, Amelia." I love hearing him say my name. "Imagine that it's my hand between your thighs, teasing and pleasuring you."
A soft moan escapes my lips at his words as I do as he says, letting the image fill my mind.
"Now touch yourself," he commands gently. "Start by running your fingers along your folds, feeling how wet and ready you are for me."
I let out a shuddering breath, my fingertips gliding over my slick heat.
"That's it," he murmurs. "These are my fingers stroking your pussy, circling your clit, driving you wild with desire."
His words are like delicious torment, intensifying the sensations lighting up my body.
"Are you enjoying this, Amelia?" he asks.
"Yes, sir," I gasp.
"Darling," he purrs. "Now focus on your clit. Rub it in slow circles, increasing the pressure with each stroke."
I moan loudly as I follow his instructions, pleasure building within me with every touch.
"I can imagine how beautiful you look right now," he says huskily. "Lost in pleasure, all because of me."
His words send a jolt of desire straight to my core, pushing me closer to the edge.
"Let me hear you, Amelia," he demands.
I part my lips and a tiny moan escapes me.
"Mmh, tell me what you’re thinking."
"I wish it was your hand, sir," I whisper.
"It soon will be, darling," he exhales.
Just at that moment, Smutty decides to scratch on the door to be let in. I grab the pillow next to me and throw it against the door with my free hand shouting "Fuck off!" That bloody cat! I was so close.
"Sorry?" a confused Ben asks.
"Oh, not you, it was Smutty… my cat on the door."
I hear Ben chuckle.
"Ignore your cat, Amelia, and focus on your pussy. Rub your clit for me,” he demands. “But don’t come yet.”
I whimper at the thought of being denied an orgasm but do as he says, rubbing my swollen nub in slow circles and trying not to let myself get too carried away. I've never had much control over my release and I'm not sure if I'll be able to hold out much longer.
“That's it, darling. Now slip a finger inside yourself.”
I moan as I push one finger between my wet folds, moving in and out slowly whilst I continue to rub my clit with my other hand.
“Faster,” Ben commands. “Fuck yourself faster.”
I obey, picking up the pace as I pump two fingers into my pussy. My breathing is laboured and every so often a groan escapes me.
“That’s it,” Ben says approvingly. “Just like that. You’re doing so well for me.”
I moan at his praise, feeling myself getting closer and closer to the edge with every stroke of my fingers.
“Are you ready to come?” Ben asks.
“Yes, sir,” I gasp.
“Stop touching yourself.”
I freeze at his command, whimpering in frustration as I deny myself the orgasm that is just within reach.
“Tell me how wet you are.”
"I think there is a wet stain on my bed." Lovely. Total dirty talk failure.
“Hmm, all for me,” Ben doesn't seem to be put off by my words. “Now touch your clit again. But don’t come yet.”
I groan at his words but do as he says, resuming the slow circles on my clit that had been driving me wild just moments before.
“That’s it,” Ben says encouragingly. “You can do it. Just a little longer now.”
I whisper his name as the pleasure builds once again, this time even more intense than before. I can feel myself teetering on the edge of an orgasm, so close that it hurts, but I force myself to hold back, not wanting to disappoint Ben by coming without his permission.
“Are you close?” he asks.
“Yes,” I gasp.
“Yes, what?" Oh fuck , looks like I'm not the only one who likes the sir game.
"Yes, Sir," I moan.
"Good girl." I shudder at his praise for me. "Now pinch your nipples for me.”
I whimper at his command, reaching up with one hand to tug at my sensitive nub while I continue to rub my clit with the other.
“That’s it,” Ben says. “You’re doing so well for me. Just a little longer now.”
The pleasure is almost unbearable, radiating out from my clit and spreading through my entire body like wildfire. I'm ready to explode and I know that I won’t be able to hold back much longer.
"Let go, Amelia," he whispers. "Give in to the pleasure and come for me."
I cry out his name as ecstasy crashes over me like a tidal wave, sweeping away all thoughts and worries.
As I come down from my high, panting and sated, I can hear the satisfaction in Ben's voice.
"Well done, Amelia," he says warmly. "You did beautifully."
"Thank you," I say softly. "I mean it, Ben. I didn't think I could do this without dying of embarrassment."
"Thank you for trusting me," he says casually but I can't help thinking there is much more to his words.