Chapter 6
After another restless night, I met Hannah at her hotel and drove her to the bar.
I’d expected her boyfriend, Kian, to join us, but Hannah assured me that he wanted to give us our space to work through things on our own.
The car ride was silent, neither of us knowing what to say until I pulled up to the bar.
“What are we doing?” she asked as we got out of the car.
I picked through my keys, finding the one for the front door. I unlocked it, then flipped on all the lights before letting her enter in front of me. The place was deserted, just as Raleigh and Angel had promised. I closed the door and locked it back as Hannah hovered in the middle of the room.
“You still want to learn to mix?” I asked.
She nodded, fighting a smile that came through in her eyes.
“Obviously, I won’t be giving you any alcohol, but that doesn’t change what I’ll be teaching you.
The bar is my safe space. When I’m stressed or frustrated, I can take it out on the drinks.
And no offense, but this is a pretty stressful situation. ”
“None taken.” I led her through the room and behind the counter. She set her bag on the floor, then picked up one of the stainless-steel cocktail shakers. She eyed the bottles in front of her. “What do I put in it?”
I smiled. I had been just as eager when I’d first started out.
Though I’d spent too many nights wearing cocktails rather than mixing them to throw her into the deep end like my mentor had with me.
“Nothing yet. Get used to the weight of it in your hand first, like this.” I grabbed an empty shaker and tossed it a few times, letting it flip in the air.
Hannah weighed her own shaker, concentrating as she threw it a little too hard. She cringed as it clattered to the floor, metal pealing in the silent room. I laughed, bending down to retrieve it.
“I was clumsy at first too. They’re heavier than you think. That’s why we’re not working with liquids yet. Try again.”
I rested against the bar while I watched her.
Her brow furrowed and her tongue poked out of the side of her mouth as she juggled that shaker over and over again until she got it right.
Skill quickly caught up with determination, and I couldn’t hide my smile when she finally tossed it high enough for it to flip three times before she caught it.
She slammed it down on the counter, throwing her hands in the air.
Yep, she’s mine.
God, what was I supposed to do? I was happy here in Vegas. I’d never given a second thought to how I lived. I didn’t know where to go from here, and I only had hours to figure out what Hannah wanted out of this visit. For all I knew, she wanted to go back home and forget we ever met.
Was that what I wanted?
“Ryder?”
I snapped out of it, looking back at her, where she was expertly throwing the shaker into the air, catching it every time. “Sorry, what?”
“Can I try it with a drink now?”
“Oh, yeah,” I said with a smile, pushing off the bar.
I taught her how to mix every drink I could think of—sans the alcohol, of course—while she told me about her life in Salem.
She’d just started her senior year of high school and was gunning for valedictorian.
She was president of the student council, debate club, and Future Leaders of America.
As she’d mentioned before, she held down a part-time job at a pet store and still did the occasional volunteer work on the side.
She was incredible. Sure, I’d only known her for twenty-four hours, but I was an excellent judge of character. Plus, she’d won over Raleigh and Angel in less than a day.
“Hannah, can I ask you something?”
She nodded, bright-eyed and eager as she took another sip of her virgin daiquiri.
I traced a ring of water on the bar from one of the glasses. “What did you need from this visit? I don’t mean to brush you off, it’s just kind of hard to decide what to do without knowing what you expect.”
“I don’t know either. I think I prepared for the worst: that you’d want nothing to do with me. I at least wanted to talk to you, but I was scared to get my hopes up. I wasn’t expecting…” She waved her hand over the glasses on the bar. “This.”
“Did your grandma tell you anything else about me?”
“Just that you left town one day and never looked back.”
I thought about all the things she could have said, all the trouble I’d gotten myself into over the years.
“Would…” She trailed off again, her gaze dropping to her lap. “Never mind.”
“What?”
“Nothing, it’s silly.”
“I’m not easily offended. You can ask me anything.”
She looked up at me again, nervous. “Would it be okay if we kept in touch? I wish I could stay longer, get to know you more. I’d still like that chance. If you want.”
There it was. My chest was getting that tight, squeezy feeling again. Only this time was different: I wasn’t scared. It was accompanied by a warmth spreading through my body. Before I had time to second guess myself, I opened my mouth.
“I’d really like that, Hannah.” I took a deep breath. “Provided your mom is also okay with it.”
She groaned. “I’m so not ready for that conversation.”
I gave her ponytail an affectionate tug as I moved to start cleaning up. “You don’t have to do it alone, kid.”
We fell silent, and for a while the only sounds in the room were glasses clinking and liquid pouring as we cleaned up. Well, and the sound of Hannah tossing an empty cocktail shaker over in her hand. It wasn’t long before Kian showed up to take her to the airport.
I walked them both out and hovered awkwardly by the door while they double-checked that they had everything.
“Be safe,” I said. “Let me know the second you make it home.”
Hannah gave me a smile. “We will.” Her silent boyfriend nodded once.
With nothing else to say, I moved to go back inside the building.
“Ryder.”
I froze with my hand on the doorknob.
“There’s one more thing.”
I turned to see Hannah walking back toward me, but her footsteps slowed a few feet away. “What is it?”
She bashfully looked at the ground. “Can I give you a hug?”
The corners of my mouth kicked up involuntarily. “Sure.”
As if she thought I’d change my mind, she rushed me, her slender arms locking around my waist. Her head fit just under my chin, cheek resting on my chest. Slowly, my arms lifted to embrace her, one resting around her shoulders, the other landing in her hair.
She smelled like coconuts. I held her, not wanting to move until she did.
When my eyes started to sting, I blamed it on the wind. Until I heard her sniffling.
I pulled back to look at her. “Why are we crying?”
“I don’t know!” she said with a blubbery laugh. I brushed the tears out of her eyes with my thumbs. “I don’t know, I guess I didn’t think this would be it. I want more time together. I wasn’t expecting you to be so… nice.”
“Give me five minutes alone with Raleigh and I promise you’ll hate me and never want to speak to me again.”
Hannah sniffed again and scrunched her face up. “If you’re my dad, does that basically make them my uncles?”
I sighed. “I promise I’ll pay for therapy.” A laugh escaped her. “Go on, otherwise you’ll miss your flight.”
The wind caught loose strands of her hair and sent them across her face, but I tucked them back behind her ears. She took a deep breath. “Okay.”
I pulled her in for one last hug. “I’ll figure this out. We’ll figure this out—together. I promise.” I gave her forehead a soft kiss, then pulled back again.
“Thank you for everything.”
“Don’t mention it.” I nodded to Kian as she got in the car, then turned and went inside.
I locked the front door and tidied up behind the bar.
In the privacy of the empty room, I let the tears flow freely, pausing every few seconds to wipe them away.
I was carrying handfuls of glasses to the dishwasher and using the back of my hand to clean my face when I heard the doorway to the guys’ apartment open.
I scrambled to make myself look presentable. Raleigh knew I wasn’t a crier.
When I rounded the corner into the bar area though, it was Angel standing behind it.
“What are you doing here?” I asked. “It’s early.”
His fingers tapped away on his phone. “I saw Hannah leave on the cameras. I came down to tell you the good news: we won the contest!” Only then did he look up, the smile on his face disappearing as he took in my appearance. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” I automatically deflected. “That’s great about the contest. Congratulations.”
“Forget the contest, Ryder. You’ve been crying. You don’t cry. I’ll ask one more time, otherwise I’m getting Raleigh. What’s wrong?”
“You’re right: I never cry. Therefore I haven’t been crying. I’m fine.” He kicked off the bar and made a move for the door. “Wait, okay!” I pushed a hand through my messy hair. “I may not have been entirely ready to say goodbye to Hannah.”
“Aw, look at the proud father.”
“Shut. Up!” I kicked in his direction, but he hopped out of reach. “Seriously, Angel. What if I don’t do this, and I miss out on something? Or what if I do, and I mess her up? I don’t know the first thing about kids.”
“Keeping them alive is a great start.” At my glare, he sobered. “Ryder, I know I act like I don’t like you. Truthfully, I don’t like most people.”
“You like Raleigh.”
“Sometimes.” I snorted, waiting for him to continue. “I do care about you, and I know you’re a good person.” He nodded toward the camera above the bar. “I watched the two of you. You’re great with her. If being a part of her life is something you need to do, why are we still talking about it?”
I gazed at my feet, keeping my head down as another tear escaped the corner of my eye. “How do I know if it’s what I need to do?”
I flinched when Angel unexpectedly reached over to brush his knuckle along my wet cheek. “I think you already know.”
Frustrated, I sucked in a deep breath and straightened, scrubbing at my eyes. “What? Am I supposed to just up and leave? I can’t do that to you and Raleigh.”
“We’re grown men. Of course it’ll suck to lose our best bartender. But you’re our best friend first, and we love you. It’s because we love you that we want what’s best for you. Right now, that might be Hannah. We both saw how happy you two were. You need to chase that.”
I paced in a circle, scrubbing the back of my neck. “How am I going to tell Raleigh?”
A deep voice came from behind us. “You could try these funny little things called words.”
I spun around to see Raleigh, then turned a look on Angel. “How do you live with him creeping around like that?”
“I always know when he walks into a room,” Angel said.
Raleigh didn’t allow my clever subject change to distract him. “You’re leaving, aren’t you?”
I found myself nodding before I realized it. “I guess I am,” I said, throat tight. “I’m…”
“Scared?” Angel finished for me. “I don’t think you’ll find a parent out there who isn’t—regardless of how long they’ve been one.”
“I don’t know how to be a parent.”
“There’re a couple of people in Hannah’s life who do,” Raleigh offered. “They might even be willing to help you, if you ask them.”
My eyes cut to him. “You’re not suggesting—”
“Call her. Nothing good will come of ignoring her.”
He was right, damn it. Long after they’d disappeared back upstairs, I paced the empty bar, tossing my phone back and forth between my hands. I wasn’t sure how much time passed before I dialed the number.
“Hello?”