Chapter 7
“Surprise!”
I flinched, snapping my head up from my phone to see Double Trouble standing in the middle of the bar along with the rest of the staff surrounded by… pink balloons. A sparkly banner along the back wall read, “It’s a Girl!” My eyes landed on Raleigh, who stood with a shit-eating grin on his face.
It had been a few weeks since I decided to move back to Salem, and Raleigh and Angel had been supportive while I figured everything out.
It had taken a lot of time, patience, and money, but I finally secured a two-bedroom house and a promising job interview.
I still wasn’t entirely sure I was making the right decision, but I couldn’t ignore the pull to return. To be there for my daughter.
“What the hell have you two done?” I asked, stomping over to the couple in question with a glare. Everyone else lined up at the bar where Jack was mixing drinks.
Angel answered with a shrug before stepping away. “Don’t look at me.”
I switched my gaze to Raleigh, who shrugged. “Going away parties are depressing. This seemed like more fun.”
“Except the baby’s already been had,” I said. “A long time ago.”
“I told Angel we should’ve found a sign that said, ‘It was a girl.’ This isn’t a baby shower, it’s a… bar shower? Here. I know you like presents.” Raleigh ducked under the table and pulled out a frilly pink basket overflowing with chocolate, pajamas, teen magazines, and—
“Tampons?” I asked, picking up the box in the corner like it was going to bite me.
Raleigh held up a similar one. “Pads too. You never know.”
I rolled my eyes and tossed the box aside, then cocked a brow at him when I found the bottle of scotch hidden beneath everything.
Raleigh dropped his voice to a whisper. “That’s one of the bottles we bought the night we closed on this place. It was Angel’s idea—he wanted you to have it.”
“Wow, Raleigh. I don’t know what to say.”
He snorted. “Whatever you do, don’t start crying again. I’m not used to that.”
“Neither am I,” I said, forcing a laugh.
I could feel warmth in my chest, but luckily it stayed away from my eyes.
I never expected that leaving Vegas would be so hard.
Despite all my best efforts to keep things casual, I’d come to think of it as home.
“Thank you,” I said, investing the simple words with as much heart as I could muster.
Raleigh gave my shoulder a squeeze and steered me toward the bar. “Let’s drink.”
It was my last day working for The Devil’s Hopyard, where I’d planned to lose myself in a busy shift.
Raleigh and Angel surprised me, though, closing the doors for the night and keeping the place to ourselves.
Soft music played from the speakers, less aggressive than the usual stuff we were subjected to.
Raleigh put quite a few drinks away, but it was Angel who surprised me.
He rarely drank, and I’d never seen him completely let loose.
It wasn’t long before he was drunk, hanging off his husband like they were the only two in the room.
For a while, I sat back and watched. That tight feeling in my chest returned, but not the one that made me feel sick.
The one that made me question everything I thought I knew about myself.
I loved Raleigh, but I wasn’t in love with him.
Seeing him and Angel, the way they were made for each other, made me think that maybe I did have it in me to love someone like that.
Talking to Erin had been even more terrifying than speaking with Hannah.
I’d been so distracted with my own nerves that I missed much of what she was saying.
I’d asked her to repeat herself so often that I’d been convinced she’d tell me to forget it and hang up on me.
It’d been a long, exhausting conversation, and by the end of it we only agreed on one thing: Hannah was our priority.
Erin admitted that she’d never seen Hannah happier than when she came back from her trip to Vegas—even after finding out she was grounded.
Raleigh’s heavy biker boots landed in front of me, pulling me out of my memories.
“Don’t brood in the corner with me,” I said, staring into my drink. “Go dance with your drunk-as-hell husband.”
Raleigh laughed and sat down next to me. “My drunk-as-hell husband is currently dancing on the bar with Jack. I’m not the jealous type, but if I was, the wicked hangover tomorrow will be punishment enough.” When I fell silent, he nudged me with his elbow. “What’s on your mind?”
I gave a bitter laugh. “So much.”
Raleigh put an arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his side. “You’ll be a great dad, Ryder.”
“She already has a dad. She doesn’t need another one.”
“Says who? Aren’t you always saying two is better than one?”
I gave him a dry look. “That’s not what I was talking about and you know it.”
“I wasn’t talking about that, either,” he said softly. I followed his gaze across the bar to his husband.
“No way,” I said, pulling his attention back to me. A smile crept across his mouth. “Kids?”
He took a deep breath. “I mean, Angel still has a long way to go, but we’re talking about it.”
“I guess if you can do it, so can I. Right?”
“Consider yourself lucky. You missed the crying, screaming, puking phase.”
“Hey, mine’ll be drinking soon. If she’s anything like me, she’s already started,” I laughed.
Raleigh shook his head. “Nah, she’s a good kid. Who knows? Maybe she’ll bring you down a notch.”
A loud laugh broke through the bar, followed by a crash. Angel had toppled off the bar, pulling Jack down with him. We let out sighs of relief when they both got up unscathed.
“Go put him to bed,” I said.
“What about—”
“Nope. We’re not doing the big goodbye. You know you haven’t seen the last of me.”
Raleigh stood, placing a hand on my shoulder. “You know I’m just a phone call away if you need me. I can be in Salem overnight.”
I covered his hand with mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I know,” I said, feeling an uncharacteristic tightness in my throat. “Thank you.”
With that, he retrieved his husband, and the two disappeared upstairs. Everyone else was preoccupied with their drinks and each other, giving me the perfect opportunity to escape without a fuss.
I stood and placed my empty glass on the bar. I pulled my black satin vest from my back pocket, straightened it out, and laid it across the polished wood. With one last look around the place, I snuck across the room and slipped out the back door.
I chose a great time to travel across the country.
Between severe weather in the Midwest and a blizzard in Chicago, a three-day road trip took me a week to drive.
The silver lining was that I was too busy dodging tornadoes and black ice to dwell on the magnitude of the decision I’d made.
It wasn’t until I crossed over the Massachusetts state line that my hands grew clammy against the steering wheel.
By the time I entered Salem’s city limits, my heart was pounding.
Everything was exactly how I remembered it.
Fall was in full swing, and the small, Halloween-centric town celebrated the season with decorations on every storefront and lamp post in sight.
As I waited at a stoplight outside City Hall, someone on the street waved at me.
I shouldn’t have been surprised. I hadn’t changed much in fifteen years, aside from filling out a little around the middle.
Still, I slumped down in my seat and turned my attention elsewhere.
Had Erin said anything about Hannah and my return? Even if she hadn’t, my homecoming was sure to start the rumor mill. That realization was enough to make me forgo stopping until I arrived at my new place.
I pulled up to the two-bedroom, two-bathroom house, killing the ignition and sitting in the driveway longer than I cared to admit.
I stared at the brick building with its freshly painted red door until the cold from outside crept its way into my car and forced me to decide between freezing to death or getting my ass in gear and heading inside.
The place was mostly furnished. I hadn’t wanted to bother with a moving company, so I paid extra to have the place ready.
Besides, the contents of my tiny studio apartment in Vegas wouldn’t have filled all the extra space.
I unloaded what I’d brought with me and organized it by room.
Though exhausted, I started on Hannah’s room rather than crawl into my new bed.
My daughter was the entire reason I’d rented a two-bedroom in the first place.
I hadn’t spoken to anyone about her staying with me, but if she chose to—even for a night—it was important that she had her own space.
She’d have her own bedroom and bathroom, separate from mine.
Other than the kitchen, she wouldn’t have to cross paths with me at all.
I took the idea of Raleigh’s “teenage survival kit” and sort of went wild with it.
There was a twin bed in her room and I’d bought extra sheets for it, storing an extra-extra set in the closet (with an assortment of neutral colors because I had no idea if she was a frilly-pink girl or an all-black-everything girl).
I folded spare pajamas and stored them away in her dresser, and even hid the sweets Raleigh had bought inside.
When every inch of her space was immaculate, I stood in the middle of her bedroom, taking it all in.
I started to feel a little less scared and more…
excited? I’d probably gone overboard, and there was a chance Hannah wouldn’t want anything to do with any of it, but I still couldn’t wait to show her.
Too wired to sleep, I got to work on the rest of the house, putting things away in the kitchen, bathroom, and my own bedroom. The early hours of the morning crept by, but I didn’t care; I was relishing in the excitement of this new chapter in my life.
I had a job interview tomorrow at a local bar. I could’ve chosen something more stable, but bartending was what I knew and loved. It was also the only part of my old life I could hold onto here.
I dug through my suitcase to find my white button-up shirt and my best pair of jeans, feeling a sudden pang of loss: they looked lonely without my Devil’s Hopyard vest. I looked from the clothes to my phone, having a sudden urge to call Raleigh.
I shook the thought away. I needed to learn to do things on my own.
It was just me now.