Chapter 9
Vanian
“Nonna is gonna kill us if we don’t get home in time for dinner.”
I’m pressed against the window of a sex toy shop, contemplating going inside when Nantes reminds me we’ve been out for hours.
“One last stop. Then we’ll go.”
He gives me a weary look. “You want to go into a sex toy store?”
“I need lube.”
He chuckles. “Fine. I could use some too.”
I loop my arm through his and drag him into the store. We’ve spent the last five hours running all over Madison, from downtown to some of the neighborhoods. I’m having the most fun I’ve had in years being with my former best friend and for once not thinking about work.
The store is bigger than I expected, with rooms that curve off in different directions.
I’m mildly curious about what kind of toys Nantes would use, or if he uses anything at all.
I’ve always been good with my hand and some lube, but I do get curious what else is out there.
Especially when I’m going through a dry spell like I am now.
We pass a wall of dildos next to a display of vibrators. I notice how Nantes lingers in front of both, taking in all the options before he tears his gaze away and continues walking to the lube section.
“You can pick something out if you want to. I won’t judge you.”
Nantes chuckles. “Thanks for the permission, Doc. I’m good though. Just curious.”
“Do you, um, do you use props?”
Nantes seems to freeze, swallowing hard enough for me to notice. “Uh, sometimes. Depends how horny I am.” He clears his throat. “You?”
“Never have, but I’m curious. I have been for a while, I just never make time to look into stuff.”
“Here’s your chance, then.”
Nodding, I turn my gaze back to the toy wall, overwhelmed by the sheer amount. “Wouldn’t know where to start.”
“Do you guys need help?” A clerk appears behind us. They have pink and yellow hair and lots of facial piercings, and I wouldn’t be able to tell their gender without asking, which I never do.
“What would you suggest for a first-time toy for a guy?” Nantes asks.
“Hmm.” The clerk taps their chin, taking us both in. “I’m a big fan of prostate vibrators if you have one.”
“Have one?” I ask.
“A prostate.”
“Oh.” I chuckle. “Um, how does that work?”
“Come here.” As the clerk passes me, I notice their name tag: Roux. That’s pretty cool. “Here they are. Slender, ribbed for his pleasure. The focus is the prostate and not so much the penetration. If you’re into that, you’d want to find something with more girth. I can show you.”
“Uh, no. I’m never—I’m not—” I blow out a breath. “Never done butt stuff.”
“Stone top. Got it.”
Nantes cackles, slapping his hand over his mouth. “My friend isn’t gay.”
Roux shrugs. “Who says you have to be gay to do butt stuff?”
“That’s fair,” Nantes concedes. “Anyway, he’s not looking for girth.”
“Okay. So you can get a prostate vibrator, which will blow your mind if you’re not acquainted with that part of your anatomy. Or you can get a masturbator. Sounds like what it is.”
Roux shows us a few examples of Fleshlights and Fleshjacks. I notice right away that the difference is in how the anatomy is presented.
“Do they, um, feel different, based on the style?”
“Not really, no. It’s more about what turns you on.” Roux leans closer. “Straight people do butt stuff too.”
Nantes chuckles again, lowering his head.
“I’m aware, thanks,” I reply. “I’m new to toys, that’s all.” I turn to Nantes. “What would you suggest for a first timer?”
His expression is hard to read, even for me. I can’t tell if he’s embarrassed or excited. “I’m a fan of a good prostate vibe. I use that and my own hand for the rest.”
“Okay then. I’ll do that.”
Roux pulls a box off the shelf. “This is my favorite. Long battery life, pretty quiet, and it’ll send you to the moon.”
Chuckling, I take the box. “Great. Lube?”
“Right behind you.”
Roux leads me in that direction while Nantes hangs back.
I notice how he looks at a few items then chooses the same one Roux gave me.
He also picks up a hefty dildo on display, bouncing it in his hand, then choosing a boxed one.
It looks like a cock, thick and veiny, and my stomach does a weird flip.
I guess it’s odd seeing your friend’s sexual preferences in this way.
Nantes joins us and quickly grabs a purple bottle of lube. “This is my favorite.”
“Okay, I’ll take that too.”
Roux nods. “Great choices. Anything else?”
I shake my head. “I think this is good for today.”
“Yeah, I’m good,” Nantes says.
After paying, we walk back to his car in silence, but once we’re inside, we both dissolve into juvenile laughter.
“Pretty brave step, Van. A prostate vibrator?”
“I have no idea what I’m in for, do I?”
“Nope, but I’m proud of you for being adventurous.”
“I’m not afraid of butt stuff, I’ve just never had a partner suggest it.”
“And you didn’t? I heard a lot of straight guys are always trying to get girls to do anal.”
“I’m pretty big into consent. Kind of a therapist thing.”
He laughs again as he starts the car. “Fair.”
“Besides, I’ve had anal sex, but I wasn’t on the receiving end.”
“Also fair. I’ve known plenty of straights who liked to be pegged though.”
“How does that conversation come up?”
“Alcohol.” Nantes chuckles. “Late nights in medical school. Fascination with things not often talked about.”
“Not my colleagues. We keep all our secrets to ourselves.”
“I have a friend who’s a therapist and they have a therapist. She told me it’s common.”
I nod, fastening my seat belt. “It is. I’ve found other ways to deal with the stress.”
“Not in therapy?”
“No.” By killing bad guys. “I used to hold on to it all and it affected my health. I had trouble sleeping for years.”
“I’m glad you worked through it.”
He didn’t ask how. That’s good. I don’t know how I’d answer.
“Hope you’re hungry. Nonna probably has a feast planned.”
I pat my belly. “Works for me.”
On the drive back, we blast Nantes’s playlist with hits from our teen years, singing at the top of our lungs like kids.
I can’t believe we let our friendship go dormant when it feels this good.
I’ve thought of him plenty of times over the years, but I guess I thought too much time had passed, and that it was better to remember us how we used to be than be disappointed, but I was wrong.
We’ve picked up right where we left off, but we’re better now—wiser, more mature, and we have adult money.
Nantes pulls onto the property and stops in front of the main house. I guess dinners are still held here.
“Do you have dinner together every night?” I ask as we exit the car.
“No, it’s a couple of times a week now. Always on Sunday unless we have a good excuse to miss it.”
“That’s nice. I hope you know you’re lucky to have a family like this.”
“I do. I’m grateful. I took it for granted when I was young, like all people do, but they keep me grounded.
” We walk towards the house together. “In fact, when I first got my residency, I guess my head got a little big, and Nonna put me right back in my place. She called me out and said a man’s integrity was more important than his title, his money, his things.
How we treat each other is all that matters.
Then she threatened to knock me off my high horse if I didn’t get down on my own. ”
I chuckle. “Nonna is savage.”
“She is, but it was the wake-up call I needed.”
As we enter the house, the scent of homemade sauce tickles my nose, and I’m hit with a wave of memories of just how many times I ate dinner here. It was so common that they just assumed I’d be here and always made enough.
Nantes pauses, pulling his phone from his pocket. “Oh, one sec.” I watch him reading his screen, a slight smile tugging at his lips. “It’s my friend, Lex. He does DJ gigs on the side and invited me out to a club he’ll be working at tonight.”
“Tonight?”
“Yeah. You’re probably tired though.”
“I’m not. I’d be up for it.”
“Really? I don’t know the place, so no clue what kind of vibe it is.”
“Then we’ll find out together. Sounds fun.”
“Cool.” He nods, typing out a response to his friend. “Okay, he says to come around ten.”
I chuckle. “Can’t remember the last time I purposely left my house at ten p.m.”
Nantes grins. “Same, actually. It’s been a while, but you’re on vacation.”
“I am.”
We turn the corner and we’re immediately bombarded with Benedettis. Giuliano is here, and his face lights up when he sees me. He walks over to greet me with a friendly hug.
“Hi, Vanian. How the heck are you?”
“Good. Really good. You?”
“All good. It’s been a long time.”
“Too long.” I glance at Nantes, who is already kissing Nonna’s cheek and helping carry dishes to the table. There’s a man sitting quietly at the dining table, looking down at his phone.
“Oh,” Giuliano says. “Let me introduce you.” With his hand on my lower back, he guides me over to the man, who looks up, smiling with relief.
He’s attractive in a very pretty way, with long lashes, glossy lips, and pink cheeks. His hair is short though, almost shaved, so his features are highlighted even more. He stands, and I see he’s several inches shorter than me.
“This is Jacob. We’ve been seeing each other for a few months. Jacob, this is Vanian. He’s the family friend I told you about.”
“All good, I hope,” I say, shaking Jacob’s hand.
“All good,” Jacob says. He has really pretty light brown eyes, and I can see why Giuls is into him.
I’ve never had trouble recognizing attractive people, regardless of gender presentation. Well, not since I got to college and grew the fuck up, anyway.
“Oh, look at this.” Nonna holds her hands to her heart. “All my babies are here, and we keep growing.” Her eyes settle on me. “I’m so happy.”
“Now, don’t get all emotional, Mom,” Larry, Nantes’s dad says, but his tone is affectionate as he rubs his mom’s shoulder. “Good to see you, Vanian.”
“You too, Mr. Benedetti.”
“You can call me Pop.”