Chapter 13
CAMILLE
O ver the course of the next afternoon, more consorts return to the resort.
So do an array of chefs, aestheticians, and massage therapists, several of whom find me and offer their services.
While the pilots’ strike is still going, employees who spent their vacation on neighboring islands make their way back by boat.
“Ms. Neville explained how you’ve been stranded here,” says an earnest young consort named Nico. “Can I interest you in a massage?”
“Ms. Neville?” I’m not actually sure who that is.
“The staff supervisor. Kora?”
Ah, Sybil’s wife. We still haven’t met. “That’s sweet of her to send you.”
“She didn’t.” Nico smiles. “I came on my own. You’ll find me in the app if you’d like to book a service.”
“App?” That’s right, Eve explained how enchantments get booked here. “I guess I missed that step. The whole orientation, really.”
Appalled and a little dumbfounded, the sweet young Italian spends the next several minutes setting me up with a profile.
An hour later, I schedule my first official enchantment for two days from now.
Might as well have it on the books in case the pilots’ strike drags out.
I don’t opt for anything too wild—a regular massage with no happy ending—but I’m browsing the rest of the menu when Eve calls.
“Hey.” I answer the call with my video on, delighted when she does the same. A second smiling face fills the screen beside her. “Sara’s there!” It’s so good to see both my friends.
And then my brother ducks into the frame. “Hey, Camille.” Kit waves from behind them. “I’ve been instructed to exit the room and put on my headphones so I won’t inadvertently hear girl talk. Leaving now.”
“Wise man.” I blow him a kiss as Kit plants a real one on Eve’s forehead. “You guys are good?”
“Yep!” Kit says, already backing out of the room. “And before you ask, our sisters send love. They want you to call when you have time, but they understand you’re busy .” He winces when he says it, like he’d rather not linger on the subject of me getting railed at a sex resort. “Bye.”
“Bye, Kit.”
As soon as he’s out of earshot, my girls scoot closer together. “You look beautiful,” Sara says. “So tanned and relaxed.”
Eve grins. “Like a woman who’s had lots of great sex.”
“Thanks.” Laughing, I tuck some sun-streaked hair behind one ear. “I’m having an incredible stay at Crystal Bliss.”
Sara tilts her head. “Is the resort still closed?”
Even Eve looks befuddled. “You said most of the consorts wouldn’t return for a few more days.”
“And yet, I’ve had an epic sex-cation.” I bring them up to speed on my week, including my hookup with Sybil and Lacy.
By the time I’m done, Sara’s gaping in shock, while Eve looks confidently giddy.
“Told you,” she says, grinning. “Sybil’s fantastic.”
Sara’s forehead scrunches. “Is it weird that you and Eve hooked up with the same woman?”
“Not at all.” I sometimes wish Sara wasn’t so sheltered. “If we all made flowcharts of our partners’ former partners and their partners and got oogey about the crossover, no one would ever fuck anyone.”
Eve laughs. “Beautifully put.”
“I guess.” Sara nibbles her bottom lip. “Sometimes I wish I wasn’t such a prude.”
And now I feel bad for thinking the same thing. “You’re perfect just as you are, Sara. Everyone has different comfort thresholds and that’s fine. Imagine how boring life would be if everyone was the same.”
“Absolutely.” Eve puts an arm around our sweet virgin pal. “That’s the great thing about sexuality. We all make the rules for ourselves. Not for anyone else.”
Hearing her say that cheers me again. It wasn’t that long ago Eve led a life cluttered with purity culture residue. Now she’s happily boning my brother in a loving, committed, somewhat-open relationship. They’re clearly in love, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted for my friend.
Eve swings back to focus on me. “So Ashton Holyfield, huh?”
“Yes.” I’ve already briefed them on keeping this private. “He’s really made this a fantasy trip for me.”
“Sounds like it.” She looks thoughtful for a moment. “Do you have plans to see him again after you leave?”
“I hadn’t really thought about it.” My answer surprises me. I’m usually ten steps ahead when it comes to planning. “I mean, yeah…it’s not like we’re getting matching tattoos and talking about moving in together. We haven’t even discussed keeping in touch.”
As soon as I say it, my gut fills with cold, liquid lead. The thought of never seeing Ash again feels inconceivable.
“Camille?” Eve looks concerned. “You okay, sweetie?”
“You got a weird look on your face.” Sara peers at the screen. “Are you all right?”
“Of course!” Why is my heart pounding like this? Panic wells up in my chest as I picture my life without Ash in it. “I’m great.”
“You don’t look great.” Eve frowns. “No offense.”
“None taken.” She’s right, I feel flushed. Maybe I’m coming down with something.
“Oh.” Sara’s eyes go wide. “Are you maybe catching feelings?”
“No!”
Shit.
Am I?
The realization hits with the subtlety of a flaming semi-truck crashing into a nuclear plant. Is that what’s happening? Is that why the thought of leaving here makes me feel queasy and unsettled? It would also explain why I haven’t thought past the end of the pilots’ strike.
Denial is a powerful force.
Which means it’s conceivable I have caught feelings for Ash. “Oh my God, you guys.”
Eve laughs and lays a flat palm in front of Sara. “Pay up, bitch.” She laughs as a grumbling Sara forks over two twenties. “Told you.”
“Wait.” I watch my friends exchange knowing looks. “You guys made a bet on whether I’d fall for Ash?”
“I mean, to be fair, I did set a precedent.” Eve folds the bills and sticks them in her bra. “I’m telling you, Crystal Bliss weaves some sort of magic spell.”
“Kinda like my snatch,” I mutter.
“What?” Sara gets distracted before I can explain. “Do you think Ashton feels the same way?”
“No! I mean…I don’t think so.” He’s so hellbent on not feeling anything that I’m sure this discussion would terrify him. “It’s just a crush. It’ll go away.”
Eve shakes her head, crossing her arms like she’s ready to lecture. “You’ve spent your last ten years in a relationship that functioned more like a business partnership. I know that’s what you wanted?—”
“What you thought you wanted,” Sara interjects. “But you forgot passion. And now that you’ve found it, you can’t live without it.”
Holy shit. Is a twenty-three-year-old virgin seriously schooling me on passion?
“You’re right,” I mumble, reeling a little. “Some fucking sex therapist I am.”
“Stop that,” Eve commands. “We all have blind spots when it comes to our own issues. Even the queen of sexual healing gets a pass.”
That makes me feel just a tiny bit better, but I’m still stewing. Not on my skills as a therapist, either. “I thought passion was superfluous.” What a ridiculous thing to believe. “A distraction. A detriment to a committed adult relationship.”
Eve chuckles and leans back in her chair. “Then Ashton Holyfield fucked that thought right out of your head.”
Jesus Christ, she’s right.
“So now what?” Sara’s determined to keep us on track. “Now that you’ve tasted true passion, how are you planning to keep it?”
“With Ash or with anyone else,” Eve adds. “If it’s not long term with him.”
Leave it to Sara to ask the blunt question. “Do you want long term with Ash?”
All the thoughts I’ve been pushing to the back of my brain come charging at me like rabid goblins. I’m twitchy and flummoxed and maybe a little bit scared. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” Sara looks dubious.
My mind keeps reeling. “If I tell Ashton I caught feelings, he’ll freak out.”
“Maybe.” Sara folds her arms, too, and I find myself staring down twin professors of passion. “But what’s the worst that could happen if you try?”
“Embarrassment.” That’s honestly not very scary. “You’re right. That’s never deterred me before.”
“See?” Eve smiles. “You’ve got nothing to lose except maybe a blow to your ego.”
“Your self-esteem is healthy enough to take it.” Sara uncrosses her arms and gives me her sweetest schoolteacher face. “I say go for it.”
“Agreed,” Eve says. “Wasn’t it you who coached me on the importance of prioritizing yourself? Your pleasure, your needs, your satisfaction?”
“I hate when you quote me to me.” I don’t really. Sometimes I make decent points. “I’ll think about it.” A call beeps in and I glance at my screen. “It’s Hayden. I should take this.”
Eve frowns. “He’s not being difficult, is he?”
“Actually, no. He’s been surprisingly calm about everything.”
Maybe a little too calm. I’m still embarrassed to acknowledge that his detached, composed response to this breakup kinda stings.
The phone beeps again and I bite the inside of my cheek. “He probably has an update on the house. Can I call you later?”
“Miss you!” Eve blows me a kiss and Sara does the same.
“Be brave, Camille,” she says. “We’re cheering you on from afar.”
God, I love my friends. “Thanks, guys.”
I blow a few kisses, then click off to take Hayden’s call.
“Hey there.” It’s a regular call and not video, so I relax back into my lounge chair. It’s right by the patio door, so I calm myself down by watching the sea. “I wasn’t expecting to hear from you today.”
“Good news,” he says. “The appraiser had a cancellation, so he squeezed us in early. I’ll email you the report. I think you’ll be pleased with the findings.”
“Thank you.” I trust Hayden to be fair and meticulous. Qualities I always admired in him.
It’s not his fault I wanted more.
“Hayden,” I start, not sure how to say it. “Are you doing okay?”
There’s a long, pregnant pause on the line. A stiff stretch of silence that fills up with doubt and uncertainty.
Dammit, he’s hurting. I knew behind his emotionless detachment there had to be more going on. “Hayden?” I hope he knows he can say anything to me. A decade together isn’t nothing. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
He lets out a long, ragged breath. “I’ve gotta be honest, I’m a little overwhelmed.”