Chapter Twenty
A fter talking to Gia, I fell asleep and took a long, much-needed nap. I didn’t know how that was possible since I’d been unconscious for a day, but that nap turned into sleeping for a few hours.
I woke up at one point to find Landon and Max in the room with me, where they must have accidentally fallen asleep. On opposite sides of the room and as far away from each other as possible, of course.
But then, I realized why.
Landon leaned against the doorjamb facing the patio doors, his legs stretched out in front of him, like a barrier to anyone who might try to cross. Max had taken up the back left corner of the room, his body between me and the windows and angled toward the bedroom doors. Both had their arms crossed over their chests.
My heart clenched, and tears pricked my eyes as I took in their positions. My two sleeping protectors, covering the entrances and exits, ready if anyone tried to enter the cabin or the bedroom while I slept.
Even if I woke them and tried to convince them to go back to the couch, or get in the bed, neither would take me up on it.
So, I settled back down onto the pillows.
Staring at their sleeping faces and feeling the ache in my chest grow tighter, but not because of fear. Until, finally, I couldn’t help but fall back asleep.
* * *
When I woke again, I had no idea what time it was, but the sun was still out and my two sleeping guards had left the room. Probably not wanting me to know they’d watched over me together while I slept.
I really had to pee. And shower.
Pushing myself to get out of bed, I struggled to make it to the edge. I sat there, pathetically, and stared at my feet. I desperately needed to shower and wash my hair after last night, but I still felt disoriented and a little dizzy.
I would’ve lain back down, but my bladder insisted.
My legs wobbled as I stood for the first time. A rush of dizziness overpowered me, forcing my butt back onto the bed.
A creak sounded by the door.
When the room stopped spinning, I forced my eyes open and glanced over my shoulder.
Landon and Max stood in the doorway.
Scratching behind his ear, Landon stepped into the room. “We had a feeling you wouldn’t call for help.”
I huffed. “Yeah, I’ve found relying on myself to be a safer bet. Go figure.”
Landon’s brow drew down as he froze instead of coming farther into the room, and I frowned, unsure why that had come out so harshly.
Max thought I’d nailed the delivery, though. From where he leaned against the doorframe with arms crossed over his chest, he huffed a laugh. He wore a deep frown, clearly still angry with me. But, of course, he got past it for the chance to rub in my anger toward Landon.
I opened my mouth to say something before shutting it and turning back around.
Max’s anger in the midst of my confusion only reinforced my need to put up walls against him, circling back to the point I’d made right before he kissed me. His hot-and-cold behavior kept us from finding solid ground.
But that behavior wasn’t solely on him, and…Even if the memory was hazy, I remembered how it felt to be in his arms last night. To kiss him. To have his hands all over my body.
I couldn’t erase it even if I wanted to, and I didn’t want to.
Whether I admitted it out loud or not, things had changed between us over the days we spent together.
But it was too fast. Too unexpected. Too strong to be stable. Wasn’t it?
It scared me.
But Max hadn’t lied to me or deserved an accusation of that nature to be leveled against him so easily. He had every right to be mad. I possessed the wherewithal to see that.
I just hadn’t risen above enough to openly admit it.
So, I said nothing and stared at my dirty bare toes.
Feet padded heavily on the wood floor as Max came to stand in front of me. He lifted my chin and forced me to look at him, his dark eyes scouring my face. I wondered if he was waiting for the apology stuck in my chest.
After a few minutes of our silent standoff, Max heaved a heavy sigh. He shook his head, flicking his eyes to Landon, who’d moved near the end of the bed. Then, he nodded.
And I did not like the idea of them silently communicating over my head. Especially since I assumed the conversation circled around me being a stubborn mule. But before I could tell them to quit it, Max hoisted me up by my underarms.
“Max!” I screeched. “Stop that!”
“You stink.” He set me on my feet and gave me a second to get my bearings, holding me steady and crouching slightly to watch my face for signs of dizziness. “And you’re too goddamn stubborn for your own good.”
“I’m fine,” I bit out.
Landon’s soft chuckle snapped my head in his direction. He pressed his lips together and put his hands up. “Sorry. Just never thought I’d agree with the guy.”
I glared at him, then turned to Max, who loosened his hold on me. I instantly swayed on my feet. Gritting my teeth, I dug my nails into his biceps as I fought to stay upright. Sweat broke out at my temples, and my breaths came out in tight bursts. But I finally got through the wave of nausea that followed the dizzy spell and stood straight up.
Releasing Max’s arms from my death grip, I shifted my weight on my feet to make sure I was steady.
It took a minute to be sure, but I didn’t sway again.
I smiled triumphantly. “See. I told you I was fine.”
Max stepped out of the way and waved a hand toward the bathroom door.
Keeping my head held high, I walked past him to round the bed. I kept my fingers on the edge of the mattress, assuming Landon would either move out of the way when I got there or be barreled into as I passed. Walking faster than I should’ve, I made it all of two steps before I swayed again.
I nearly crashed to the floor, and I would’ve hit the ground.
But, of course, Landon caught me under the arms before I fell, and Max gripped my hips to steady me, having followed right behind me in the hopes of proving his point.
“Yep,” Max said over my head. “Stubborn as fuck.”
Landon fought a grin. “Oh, I know.”
“Stop that right now. The both of you.”
They shared another look over my head.
I’d wanted them to get along not that long ago. Although, at that moment, I couldn’t remember why. I didn’t particularly care for them finding common ground over one of my many glowing and positive attributes, given my current state.
Grumbling to myself, I let the two of them guide me without further protest. Max kept one hand steady on my left hip. Landon supported me on the right.
When we finally made it to the bathroom, I stared longingly at the large tub and the shower stall, but I let go of that dream.
The idea of either of them helping me bathe or shower threatened to unleash some latent sex goddess inside me, one who purred dramatically at the mere thought.
Even though I could barely stand without help.
Max, rather unhelpfully, pointed that out in the most patronizing way possible. “I’m not leaving you in here to fall on your ass or crack your head open. Or fucking drown in the tub.”
Then, he picked me up and plopped me on the counter.
Before I could protest, Max’s phone rang. He made sure Landon had a secure hold on me before digging it out of his pocket. As he stared down at the phone, the loud ring echoed in the bathroom.
His dad’s name flashed on the screen.
“I have to take this.” He sighed before pinning me with a pointed look. “Are you good with him helping you in here?”
“What the fuck does that mean, Dread?”
Max ignored Landon, holding my gaze.
The way he prioritized my comfort made me all warm inside, but his inherent distrust of Landon, even though I understood where it came from, made me sad.
I didn’t want him feeling like he needed to protect me from Landon or take a stand between us.
As much as I should’ve been done with Landon after what he did, I wasn’t. If Gia was right, and I’d feel some inevitable change in my gut that told me it was over, I hadn’t felt it yet. I was still angry and hurt, because he hadn’t chosen me.
Although, he hadn’t said anything.
And he had stayed.
Either way, what happened between us was our business. Our issues were mine and Landon’s to sort out.
No one else’s.
“I’m good with him, Max.” I nodded, keeping my eyes on him so he wouldn’t doubt it. “Take the call. I’ll be fine.”
He nodded, shooting a glare in Landon’s direction as he stepped up beside me to keep me secure on the counter. With one last look at me, he left us in the bathroom.
Landon stood beside me on the right, his left hand hovering over my thigh and the other hand inches from my side. Both very carefully not touching me but poised to do so.
In case I fell like an invalid.
A feeling of defeat registered, and I broke the silence between us. “I hate this. Being too frail to clean myself up. Vulnerable enough to get drugged. Too weak to…”
Even just starting that sentence had emotion suddenly bleeding out of me.
Tears built in my eyes, and a sob racked my body as forcefully as a subsequent wave of shivers. I had no idea if this was the drugs working their way out of my system, the exertion, or my conflicting emotions.
But I hated it.
My teeth chattered, and I couldn’t stop shaking.
Keeping my head down, I only cried harder when tears landed on my mud-caked feet and the dirt smudged like partially dried paint.
Landon pulled me against him, wrapping his arms around me. He did it tentatively at first, but when I didn’t protest—unable to deny how good it felt—he hugged me tightly.
My whole body shuddered, tensing slightly before it all released, and I sank into his arms.
The tears came harder as I pressed my face into his shirt. Unable to reconcile how my heart could’ve been so crushed by him when his arms felt like the one thing I needed to put it back together.
How he’d hurt me but also healed something broken inside me. Something I thought I’d never fix again after my dad died. I couldn’t understand it.
I couldn’t?—
“You’re alright,” he whispered into my hair. “He got to you in time. The drugs are working their way out of your system…You’re alright.”
I cried harder, and the whole time, he stroked his hands up and down my back, drawing patterns across my skin that I’d almost memorized.
He ran them over my hair. His fingers snagged in the tangles, but he didn’t stop. He just kept stroking my hair until I’d cried out everything I was feeling.
And when my tears subsided, a question remained on my lips that I didn’t think I could keep inside anymore.
I sniffled into his shirt, trying really hard not to make too much of a mess on it, until he eased me backward and examined my face with a sad smile.
But he didn’t say anything.
He guided one of my hands toward the edge of the counter, and I grabbed onto it. I held myself upright, even though he never let go of me as he dipped to open the cabinets beneath the sink.
He found a washcloth and wet it before turning back to me. Swiping the warm, damp cloth under my eyes carefully, he wiped away my tears. He got rid of the stray streaks of old mascara that had to be there.
After cleaning my forehead, my cheeks, and my chin, he ran the cloth under my nose at the very end.
I sniffled again once he was finally done, studying him as he discarded the used towel in the sink. When he lifted his eyes to mine, the question sprang free before I could stop it.
“Was any of it real?”
I hated how my voice shook and that I asked him instead of waiting it out.
But I hated more how Landon’s eyes pressed shut at the question, how he didn’t respond, and the pain etched across his features that made it all even more impossible to understand.
I didn’t understand why he couldn’t bear to look at me.
But I couldn’t give him time to answer, backtrack myself, or even deflect with a perfectly timed joke, because Max stormed back into the bathroom with a muttered curse.
He narrowed his eyes on us, taking in the change in our position with a healthy dose of suspicion. None of it directed at me, but still paining me.
“The doctor should be by soon to give her the all clear.” His tone was clipped as he spoke to Landon but softened just slightly when he turned to me. “Can we tame that nest on your head for now if I promise you can take a shower or bath after she clears you?”
I pursed my lips at his delivery before nodding.
It was better that way, anyway.
Maybe tonight, without any pressing commitments or the possibility of interruptions, we’d be able to cross the divide between us.
It occurred to me, as they worked to corral my hair into a respectable bun, that I hadn’t been thinking only of the divide between me and each of them. But also, the one separating them.
A divide they were bridging slightly, without my help.
I had to believe that was a good sign.
Although, I had absolutely no idea why the words orgasm sandwich popped into my head as Max held my hair together and Landon looped the scrunchie around it.
Nope.
None at all.