Chapter 24
The rhythmic beating of the horse’s hooves soothed her racing thoughts as Lily pushed her gray stallion at an even pace. The sky overhead was quickly growing darker, but she judged the clouds far enough away to allow her time to get back.
He kissed me.
Her breath caught in her throat as she recalled the tender gesture.
She had wanted to keep her distance from him to protect her heart.
Yet each passing day made it harder and harder for her not to like him.
He was kind, charming, thoughtful, funny, and even handsome.
He was the kind of prince that she had once dreamed of before her life had been turned upside down.
And then there are the letters from Oliver.
Her heart stilled again as she gripped the reins a little tighter, turning her knuckles white.
She had needed him to fade into this past, yet his continued persistence to find her kept her up at night as she wondered what he would do.
She was not frightened of him but rather of what he would do to take his revenge.
There had been rumors in New York that his father had intimidated men to get his way, but Lily had never thought that Oliver would stoop to such levels.
His alleged involvement with Spain and France had made her second-guess her own views on his character. A man who would betray his country would stop at nothing to achieve his own ends.
“Easy, boy.” Lily tugged on the reins as they neared the mill. She needed time to figure things out. Julian needed to know who Oliver was and just what he was capable of.
The horse came to a stop beside the stream, and Lily was pleased to see that the wheel was spinning unaided. No workers or farmers were in sight to nudge the wheel back into action.
“Good, this will certainly speed up production for all of the farmers.” She said out loud to her horse before dismounting.
A low rumble in the distance made her look back just as she began to soothe her stallion.
“We will have to be quick, but I think we have enough time to look around, do you not agree?” She turned back to the horse with a smile and ran her fingers over its thick neck. A light breeze was beginning to pick up, blowing a few of her loose curls about her face.
After leading her horse to the stream, she left him drinking while she walked the short distance to the mill and opened the door. The door jammed slightly but gave way after a shove.
She was greeted by the fresh scent of hay and milled wheat. “Perfect,” she announced triumphantly, feeling the satisfaction of a job well done. She had not fixed the mill herself, but she had helped with the planning and had urged Julian not to sell the cottage and lands.
The wind picked up again, whistling through the high ceiling above her head as it blew a few leaves and twigs across the floor.
Not wanting to dirty the obviously cleaned floor, Lily quickly closed the door behind her, hearing a loud metallic clink. “Well, I hope that does not get stuck again.” She dusted off her hands and turned to inspect the interior.
Barrels were stacked beside fresh piles of hay, and several dozen stacks of freshly milled flour had been stacked beneath the closed window.
Her burdens lightened considerably as she walked deeper into the building and saw just how well everything seemed to be functioning.
Wheels turned where they should and cogs moved silently in their places.
Seeing nothing else of note, she decided to head back when a loud crack split the sky in the distance. She hurried toward the door, her footsteps echoing throughout the mill. She reached the door just as another bolt of lightning lit up the sky.
Her pulse skittered when the cold iron of the handle stood firm beneath her grip. She tried again, feeling the stiff resistance. Trying to remain calm, she placed her shoulder against the wood and pushed.
Nothing.
Panic began to set in as she tried more frantically to unjam the door, then suddenly, she realized what had occurred; the latch on the other side had shut. The loud metallic clank she had heard had been the bolt locking itself into place.
Her heart thrummed in her ears as she searched for a way out. She needed to get to her horse and get back home, or at least lead him to safety if she needed to stay.
“Open!” She gripped the large iron handle with both hands and repeatedly yanked.
The door stood firm, unyielding to her demands and efforts as she stood back and placed her hands on her hips, trying to still her racing heart.
“Well, at least we know that the door is secure from the elements, but what will I do now?” She looked around the entry room, considering all of her options as hot tears began to prick the back of her eyes.
I need to get back to my horse.
She began to pray that Julian, or anyone at all, would come looking for her before the worst of the storm began.
As if the elements could read her thoughts, a soft drizzle of rain began to pelt the earth, creating a symphony of bad news as the drops beat against the windowpane.
***
Quite some time seemed to have passed as Lily sat on a pile of hay, her legs drawn up to her chest as she hugged them tightly. She had given up hope of finding a way out but hoped instead that her horse had gone under the shelter beside the mill.
It will be too dark for anyone to find me, she lamented hopelessly in her mind until a knock suddenly sounded at the door.
Jumping to her feet, Lily rushed to the door.
“I am here!” Images of Julian on the other side lifted her spirits.
“I have been waiting for you.” She waited a moment, then another, but nothing happened.
Hope faded again as she sighed. The wind must have blown something against the door. She sank to the floor, shivering, and pulled her coat tighter around her shoulders.
I should not have come.
She pulled her legs up again as the wind howled furiously beyond the walls.
“Lily?!”
She looked up.
Nothing but the howling of the wind and a slight tapping coming from the door as it shifted by the hinges.
“Great, now I am hearing things out of desperation.” She sighed even harder.
“Lily, are you in there?” The unmistakable sound of Julian’s voice cut through the wind.
“Julian?” She lifted her head and pricked up her ears.
“Lily, can you hear me?!” His voice drew closer to the door.
Jumping to her feet, she hurried to the door and placed her ear against the wood. The unmistakable sound of the iron bar lifting made her pulse race.
“Julian!” She almost cried as the door began to give way. Without thinking, she rushed into his arms, feeling the warmth of his chest against her despite the cold of the storm behind him.
His arms moved around her, drawing her closer as he spoke above her head. “What happened? I was so worried about you.” He gently pushed her away, looking into her eyes as he held her upper arms in a gentle embrace.
The concern in his eyes made a single tear fall down her cheek.
He was worried about me.
Lifting a hand to her cheek, he cupped her face in his palm and used the pad of his thumb to wipe away her tears.
“I…” She began to stammer, feeling as if he could burst from relief.
“You can take a deep breath now. I am here.” His voice was filled with quiet encouragement as the corner of his mouth tipped up into a warm smile.
Something beneath her ribs stirred as she almost melted against him. He was far kinder than any man she had ever met, yet she still felt unworthy of being someone he cared for. Had she told him before about Oliver, it would have made matters much easier.
Sucking in a sharp breath, Lily pulled away from him, clearing her throat as she tried to create a distraction from the nagging feeling in her chest that she was falling in love with him.
“I was silly, really. I wanted some time away from all the guests, and I thought checking on the mill would be a good idea. I am used to the storms in America, so I should have known better.” She forced her lips into a smile, fidgeting with the edges of her cloak on either side of her body.
Thunder rumbled in the distance as it ushered in even heavier droplets of rain.
Julian nodded in understanding, though disappointment flickered in his eyes.
Is he disappointed that I came, or that I drew away from him?
Conflicted feelings warred in her chest as she wondered if he felt the same way about her. Did he think of her when they were not together, and when he looked in her eyes with those hazel depths, did he consider her more than just a bride of convenience?
The moment between them dragged on a little longer until Julian turned his head to look at the window.
“Well, it does not matter how we got here. We are here now, and by the sound of things, we will have to wait out the storm. There is no use in getting struck by lightning when there is an estate to be saved.”
A slight laugh escaped her lips as he turned back to her. He was so easy to be around. She never had to watch what she said or did, and that alone made her adore him even more. Without even realizing it, Julian had become her safe space. Her home away from home and her quiet amidst a raging storm.
“The horses!” Lily’s heart suddenly leapt into her throat as she recalled the poor creatures outside.
Stepping forward, Julian shook his head once before taking her hands in his. “They are safe. I led them both to shelter before coming to find you.” The warmth of his hands seeped into hers, reminding Lily of just how cold the storm was outside.
Her breath caught in her throat, making her all too aware of how good it felt when he held her hands. “I think we had better make ourselves comfortable.” She quickly withdrew her hands and averted her gaze, not wanting him to see just how much his presence affected her.
I cannot be a fool again.
She tried to compose herself as she made her way over to the pile of hay where the indent of her figure still shaped the area.
Picking the same spot, she sat and drew her knees up to her chest, pulling her cloak around her as she waited for Julian to sit.
It was difficult being in his presence when there was so much she wanted to ask him and even more to tell him.
Yet the past nagged at her, telling her not to fall in love again lest she end up back where she was. It was far too dangerous to trust the unsteady beating of her heart.
“May I join you?” he asked, hesitating as he hovered over the small pile of hay.
“Of course, I did not mean to be rude.” Lily quickly shifted aside, making space beside herself.
“Much obliged.” He closed the distance between them, lowering himself onto the pile of hay beside her, leaving just enough space between them that their knees were barely touching.
An awkward silence set in around them in which nothing but the raging of the storm and the pelting of the raindrops could be heard.
I should tell him now.
Her pulse quickened with anticipation as she imagined how he would react. Would he be angry with her for not telling him sooner? Or would he want to protect her?
“Did you…” They both suddenly blurted out at the same time.
Chuckling under his breath, Julian smiled. “You go first.”
“No, no, you go first, I insist.” Lily could feel her heart racing as she took a deep breath. Why was it so difficult to tell him about her past and the man who was still chasing her, no matter where she escaped?
Allowing his smile to broaden, Julian encircled his knees with his arms and looked at his boots. “I just wanted to say that I was very proud of you for how you played cricket this afternoon. You did very well for someone who has never played before.”
Her fears eased a little as she looked at him. “I had a lot of fun, but I am afraid that I cost us the match.” She shrugged apologetically.
“That does not matter, you certainly showed Miss Everet what you were capable of, and cricket is not all about winning. Well, if you are only playing among friends, that is. Some Englishmen can be quite competitive.” He laughed.
Eleanor.
Lily had completely forgotten about the conversation they had shared in the garden.
“Julian, if you do not mind my asking, but did you ever propose to Miss Everet? I only ask because she mentioned it to me in conversation.”
His face suddenly fell as his brow creased into a frown, creating two furrows above his nose. “Miss Everet and I have never been engaged. I have never felt more for her than just a kinship, but even that has started to wane since our engagement and subsequent marriage.”
“I do not understand why she would say it if it were not true…” Her words trailed off as the pit of her stomach knotted with tension, and the thought came to her.
She is lying.
Lifting his gaze, Julian seemed to be searching her face quite thoughtfully. “Have you always been this trusting?”
“To a fault, I am afraid. I have been burned in the past by always wanting to see the good in others. I like to think that I have learned my lesson by now, but in many ways, I think I am still quite na?ve.” She shook her head, feeling foolish despite her best efforts.
Julian had no reason to lie to her about Eleanor, yet Lily had not fully learned to let go of her trusting ways.
I can trust him.
Her heart clenched painfully as she looked into his honest eyes. If there was anyone who had earned the benefit of her doubt, it was Julian. Had he not been there for her and kept his word from the start?
She took a deep breath. “Julian, I…”
Lightning lit up the sky before a thunderous roar seemed to split the earth in two.
Jumping into his arms, Lily buried her face in his shoulder, allowing Julian to place his arms around her shoulders.
“It is all right. Do not speak now. Just breathe. The storm shall soon pass.” He soothed her gently, pulling her tighter against his side.