Chapter 28
Twenty-Eight
“It’s been a month. You really aren’t coming back for Christmas?”
“Why don’t you come here?” I asked my mom.
“Kevin wants to do it here, he hates to travel.”
I rolled my eyes. Classic.
“If I come there, where would I stay?”
“We have a couch.”
“That backs up to your bed! You don’t have a wall!”
“So?”
I could probably afford a hotel at this point. Sales for the holidays had been going better than I could have ever dreamed. But the last thing I wanted was to try and stay somewhere in New York in December. I needed to save, not blow hundreds on a room to stay in.
To be ahead for once in my life felt incredible.
“Fine,” I relented. “What if I come the week before Christmas for a night or two? We can do the classic touristy Christmas stuff like the market and Rockefeller. But then I’m coming back. I don’t want Lori to be alone.”
“You two have gotten close.” I detected the tiniest hint of jealousy in my mom’s voice. She’d been the same way when I told her I was staying here for Thanksgiving despite the fact that our only tradition was ordering Chinese food and watching Planes, Trains, and Automobiles every year.
“Mom, I’ve got to go,” I said, huffing out a breath. She’d called me at the worst time. I was packing some of my canvases into my car. I’d been forcing myself to drive it again.
“Fine, bye,” she said flatly, probably to punish me but I knew she’d text me later to continue pressuring me.
My back ached as I picked up the last of my unsold paintings and put them in the trunk.
It had been a successful showing a few towns over. I’d started offering prints for a few of my more popular designs, and I’d completely sold out of those.
It was a new feeling to not be going into the holiday season aggressively broke.
Typically, all the “magic” of capitalism depressed me, but this year it wouldn’t be so bad.
I wouldn’t participate, of course, but at least I wouldn’t have the sinking feeling in my gut that roiled to the surface any time I thought about how the hell I’d manage to get by the following year.
It was late and the moon had started to shine through, but I tried not to look up as I drove down the dark road toward home. It was full tonight. A fact I hated that I knew.
He felt closer somehow. Even though it didn’t matter. Not really.
When I pulled into Lori’s driveway it was dark. I’d been meaning to replace the porch light for her, but I kept forgetting. Until, of course, I was scrambling around in my car, unable to see a single thing.
I picked up two of my paintings and brought them to her front porch. Since it was already so cluttered inside, she let me store my stuff in her dining room. Otherwise the guest cottage might burst with all the new pieces I’d created lately.
On my way back to the car, a stick snapped off to the side. I whirled my head toward the sound but saw nothing.
I scanned the darkness for a minute but even with the brightness of the full moon, I couldn’t make out anything.
I continued putting the pieces inside, leaving the door open and working quicker now. Lori was still at the shop and it was a little creepy being out here on my own. I’d grown used to the remoteness, but it still weirded me out every once in a while.
Then the sound of gravel crunching caught my attention. My gaze snapped up to see a figure walking around the side of the house from back where the guest cottage sat.
I screamed and jumped back, falling over and scrambling toward the front door.
“Josie, it’s me,” the deep voice said a little frantically.
My heart thudded at the familiarness of it. “Theo?”
He appeared out of the shadows, towering over me as I still sat limply on the ground where I’d tripped.
“Are you okay?” he demanded, bending down to grip my elbow, eyes scanning me for injury.
My mouth opened but nothing came out. Was this real or had I hit my head and was now experiencing a hallucination?
Theo was exactly as I remembered him. He wore all black and a concerned stare.
He brought me to my feet, thankfully not letting go of my arm because there was a good possibility I’d still fall over if not tethered to something.
“Wh-what are you doing here?” I finally asked, letting the tote bag I was clutching fall from my shoulder and land in a heap on the ground.
“I’ve been waiting here all day actually. It’s a full moon,” he said as if the light pouring in from the night sky didn’t make that obvious. As if I didn’t know the exact date of the full moon every month for the foreseeable future despite never caring about that fact before meeting him.
“And you thought you’d stop in for a visit?” I questioned, physically restraining myself from leaping into his arms.
He let go of me and rubbed a hand over his face. “I didn’t like how we ended things. I’ve thought about it a few times since I left you.”
I didn’t like ending things period, I wanted to say, but my words were caught somewhere between my mind and my mouth.
“Is it…is it all right that I’m here?” He looked practically in pain.
I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I threw my arms around his shoulders, standing on my tiptoes to burrow my face into his neck.
He let out a tiny oomph of surprise before encircling me in his strong arms and holding me to his chest.
“I missed you,” I said.
His hold tightened more. “I was worried you’d forget about me,” he said into my hair.
I laughed. “Not even close. You should see my paintings.”
He pulled back to stare down at me, eyebrows furrowed.
“I almost didn’t come. I was worried…you’d think it was strange. Me showing up.”
“Why?”
“Because. We hardly know each other.”
And yet, he was so much to me already.
“That was a stupid thing to say,” I admitted, hating that my offhand comment had sunk its claws so deeply into him. I’d thought about it hundreds of times since he left. He probably thought it was my way of casting him aside like everyone else.
“I’ve thought about it a lot. And I’ve realized you’re wrong.”
I nodded. “I was wrong. So wrong.”
“I lied just now. I haven’t been thinking about how we left things a few times…I’ve been thinking about it nonstop.” He licked his lips. “Maybe we just started, but you know me better than most.”
“You know me better than anyone,” I said.
His eyes softened and everything about him loosened.
“What are you doing here?” I finally asked.
He shook his head, dragging a hand over his face, not meeting my eyes now. “I don’t…I don’t really want to be away from you anymore. My realm—The Hallows—it feels even less like home than it used to.”
My heart crumpled watching how tortured he was admitting this. I should have never let him doubt what we had. He shouldn’t be scared to be vulnerable. Because we’d both been lying to ourselves. This thing between us was big—massive, actually. Life changing.
“Yeah?” I asked like the coward I was. Scared to hope. Scared to admit everything I was feeling.
He nodded. “I know we haven’t known each other for long but…”
“But,” I encouraged.
“But I don’t really care.”
A tear slid down my cheek. “I don’t care either. And I’m sorry for not saying that last month. I was scared to admit I needed you.”
Relief flashed in his eyes. “You need me?”
I nodded. “So much. I—I think I might be in love with you, Theo,” I blurted out.
His eyes widened and eyebrows shot up.
I covered my face. “Shit I didn’t mean to blurt it out like that. It’s just I missed you so badly and I regretted not begging you to stay last month and I thought I’d never see you again, but now you’re here and it’s like my head is swimming and?—”
He cut me off, pressing his mouth to mine with a determined kiss. My feet left the ground for a second.
“I love you too, Josie,” he whispered against my mouth. “I wasn’t even sure I knew what it meant, but I do. I think about you. Constantly. It was physically killing me not knowing how you were doing.”
“Same,” I breathed, the weight of it all nearly crushing me.
“I know it’s soon. But I want to stay here. Sure, because I like being an energy healer.” He exhaled. “But I’m not going to lie, it’s you. You’re the reason.”
He bent down and kissed me again. I kissed him back hungrily, throwing every emotion I’d been feeling this past month into it.
When we broke apart I said, “I want to be the reason you stay.”
He smiled and brushed a piece of hair behind my ear. “You’re the only thing that feels like home.”
“I want to be your home.” I held on tight. “You’re mine, okay? And I’m yours. Forget every stupid comment I ever said.”
He smiled. “I’ll happily be yours.”
I didn’t care that it was too soon. My soul was entwined with his and I was sick of fighting it.
For someone used to pushing emotion down my whole life, I wanted the intensity—the highs and the lows—I wanted to feel all of it.
With him.