66. Kai
Kai
She just shows up at my apartment at midnight out of the blue. I open my door and she’s standing there, sopping wet. And I think to myself I am completely gone for this woman.
It doesn’t take long for me to realize she came over here on a whim, much like my quest to fly to North Carolina in search of her. The letter that she’s holding, I know it by heart. I had memorized every fucking line before I mailed it. I started it off cruel and bitter, heartbroken and angry.
I can’t believe you fucking did this to me. To us. Don’t I deserve some sort of explanation? Was our entire relationship a lie? How could you just walk away like it meant nothing? You’re a coward, Ken, and whatever you’re scared of, whatever you’re running from, I hope it was worth it.
But the rest of it is an outpouring of love. My adoration for her.
I miss you the way the earth misses the sun’s warmth in the depths of winter.
If I’m honest, I think I’ll miss you for the rest of my life.
I feel so fucking empty without you. I keep trying to fill this hole inside myself with other things.
But I know it’s useless because the only person who completes me, complements me, knows the shape of my heart is you.
You are my entire world, my whole fucking heart.
Every dream I could ever hope to have. I have never loved anyone the way I love you, as much as I love you, and I probably never will again.
But I think I need to try and let you go.
I’ll love you today, tomorrow, forever, always.
I’m scared that I’ll never figure out how not to.
I didn’t regret writing it, it helped me at the time, albeit marginally.
But I regret the pain she probably feels having read it now, hours ago.
Would this always be our fate? Living in a convoluted mixture of the past and present, doomed to bring up old wounds that would always somehow feel fresh? I hoped not.
But then her lips are on mine, sweet and calming.
And I’m reassured that we can conquer anything, any challenge that comes our way as long as we have each other.
I don’t want her to bear this burden any longer, our downfall, the ruining of our previous relationship.
And she needs to know she doesn’t have to.
I want to move forward with Kendall; I want everything with her.
All of her. I’m about to tell her this when she’s calmed down and I have her cradled against my chest. But suddenly we’re making out again, our tongues fighting for dominance and it’s clear we both have the same idea.
She tells me she wants to break the pact.
Thank fucking god. It’s a miracle we even held out this long.
Our tongues are clashing, teeth clanging, our bodies vibrating with untamed lust. Before I know it, I’m pressing her into the wall and we’re fucking with our clothes on. I’m so turned on and impossibly hard I think I might explode as soon as she wraps her dainty fingers around my cock.
“Fuck, Ken,” I groan into her shoulder. A bead of precum leaks from my tip as she moves her hand up and down.
We bump into the wall, the couch, and an end table on the way to my bedroom.
We’re still kissing and laughing as I set her down at the foot of the bed.
At some point, she shed her pants and shirt, leaving her in nothing but a small triangle of black lace already soaked in her arousal. She is a goddamn wet dream.
Fuck. She is perfect. Her dark curls falling down her back and around her shoulders.
Her hazel eyes that give everything away.
Her pink supple lips and her pert brown nipples.
Her slender torso that’s painted with freckles, eight to be exact.
The soft curves of her hips alone make me weak.
I want to grip them while she rides my cock, her perfect tits bouncing around wildly.
But her hourglass shape and thick thighs are the stuff of fantasies.
I want to wrap my hands around them while my head is buried between her legs.
And her face. Her hauntingly beautiful face. No matter how much I wanted to, I could never forget it. I’m relieved now that I don’t have to. She is so fucking sexy I can’t decide if I want to fuck her or taste her first.
I need to worship her body, cherish it, savor her. And I do.
You know the old adage, you never forget how to ride a bike?
It’s a little like that at first. Clunky and awkward getting used to the rhythm, the mechanisms, and each other's bodies again. But once we find our footing, it transforms into pure perfection. Like we had never separated, never stopped loving each other. And maybe we hadn’t.
Not truly. Maybe this, us, has always transcended time and distance.
It’s years of unfulfilled want and months of insatiable need unleashed in a matter of seconds.
There’s nothing like making love to Kendall, fucking her. The woman of my dreams. Sinking into her again and again, my cock swallowed by her perfect pussy. Hearing her breathless sounds and cries of pleasure. Her internal muscles squeezing me, milking me dry until I see stars.
No one-night-stand or short-term girlfriend has even come close.
There’s something about being with someone intimately that knows all of you.
The shape of your flaws and texture of your insecurities.
Someone you have bared your soul to and who has willingly done the same for you.
That intensity, that passion, that goes beyond sex.
It’s the kind of connection, the type of soul deep love that scares you shitless because you know without a doubt this is your person. This is the rest of your life.
This. Is. Everything.
Love that sets you on fucking fire. That’s what I crave, what I’ve been missing all these years and I finally have it again with her.
***
Two hours later, we’re tangled together in my bed. Two sweaty, happy, exhausted bodies. We just had mind-blowing, earth shattering sex. The kind of sex that you reflect back on and think, Was that real?
She’s lying in my arms, her naked back pressed to my chest, my leg wedged between her thighs.
Her ass is teasing my semi hard cock. There’s almost no part of me that isn’t touching her.
She’s relaxed and sated and mine. I hear her breathing shallowly, softly.
Not quite asleep but not fully awake either.
She must feel me rustle behind her because she reaches her hand back to grasp my neck, her fingers stroking my face. Then she settles in closer to me.
Home.
This is home. She is home. I place my lips on her favorite spot right below her ear and let them linger there. I trace her throat, the hollow of her neck, her shoulder with my mouth, my arms tightening around her. I’m sure it would take a Herculean effort to let her leave this bed.
“Kai,” she whispers.
“Yeah?” I pause, shifting behind her.
“You think we’d still be together if we had met today, at the supermarket or on a blind date or god forbid a dating app?” She laughs.
“Yes,” I respond, without even thinking about it.
“How do you know?” she asks, stroking my forearm curled around her chest with her fingers.
“Because we’re inevitable, Ken. It’s not logical or rational. It just is. It’s like trying to explain the moon’s gravitational pull on the tides,” I say, kissing her hair.
“So, you’re comparing us to gravity?” she chuckles.
“Yeah, I guess so. What about you? Do you think we would be together if we met today?” She doesn’t respond immediately.
“I think so. I hope so,” she finally replies.
“How do you know?” I question with a hint of humor.
“Because my heart would just know.”
“Know what?”
“You. My heart would recognize you, love you, find you anywhere.” And she’s right, I know she is. It’s sheer dumb luck that we grew up next door to each other. But even if we hadn’t, I’d like to think fate would have intervened eventually.
I turn her face towards me so I can revel in her unbelievable beauty.
I cradle her jaw in my palm, my thumb sweeping over her lips and her cheek, before finally resting on her chin.
My lips are on hers and the kiss rapidly turns deep, passionate, and all consuming.
I kiss her like she is gravity, the only thing securing me to earth.
She grinds the seam of her ass against me, tempting me.
I’m surprised she wants to go again already.
“Kai,” she breathes. “I need to feel you inside me again.” I’m instantly hard just from her words. I bring one hand to her clit, and circle it languidly while I drag the tip of my cock through her entrance. Fuck me she’s already soaked.
“Fuck that feels so good,” she moans as my hand moves faster.
“How good?” I press my lips to her throat and suck, swirling my tongue over her flesh.
“So fucking good,” she rasps. “But it's not what I want,” she admits.
“What do you want?”
“I want you so deep inside me that I feel you everywhere.”
Jesus fucking Christ.
I need to put a ring on her. I need to marry this woman yesterday.
“Fuckkk, Ken,” is all I can say. I don’t waste any time.
I don’t have that kind of willpower—or any willpower—when it came to her.
I clamp my teeth down on her shoulder while I ease into her.
I go slow at first, letting her adapt to the tightness, the feel, the angle of me behind her.
Her silken heavenly heat was made just for me.
She’s entirely at my mercy and I think that’s exactly what she wants.
I rock into her again and again, my cock thrusting into her core, my thighs hitting her ass.
But then her nails are scraping the nape of my neck while I knead her tits.
My tongue sliding against hers as she begs for me.
We’re moving together in sync. Her body had never forgotten mine and mine is more than thrilled to remember hers.
“More, please, Kai.”
We’re both feral, clawing at each other.
Grasping for something, anything to keep us in the here and now.
Anything that will make these fleeting moments last forever.
My arms band around her tighter and tighter as I push up into her rough and fast. I’m pounding into her, bracing her body against my chest.
“You okay?” I manage to ask.
“God yes, I’m so close,” she pants.
I’m moving so deep inside her, my pace rapid.
I anchor her to me as I thrust home and bury myself deeper, bottoming out again and again.
I hear the wet slap of our bodies against each other as we chase our orgasms together.
I’m entirely sheathed inside her, lust drowning my cock when I feel her clench me tighter.
Pleasure starts building at the base of my spine.
“Yes,” she cries, “Right there.” I feel her contract and pulse while she explodes around me.
I pull out almost too late—her release of warmth and pleasure leaking out of her—as the orgasm barrels through me, starting in my balls and erupting from my tip in wet hot ropes.
I paint her back with my come and probably hers and groan as the aftershocks course through my veins.
The white-hot orgasm holds me hostage and my soul leaves my body for a few seconds.
Afterwards, I clean her up and we’re lying together again, both on the verge of sleep.
Her curls are tickling my chin and I hear the melodic thump thump thump thump of her heart as I watch her chest rise and fall.
I glide my hands up and down her smooth tan skin.
Kendall is my undoing, my salvation. My perfect piece of paradise.
Her and Akio are every dream I could ever hope for.
“I’m not going to stop, Kendall,” I whisper.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not going to stop. Not until you have my last name. Not until I get to wake up every day next to you. Not until I know you both are mine to keep and you are exactly where you belong,” I decide.
“And where is that?” she asks, drawing circles on my chest.
“With me, always with me.” I whisper.
“Good,” she murmurs.