Chapter Two #2
The measurement on the syringe was wrong.
Thomas had drawn up more medication than he should have.
Rowan was sure of it because he’d watched Thomas do this yesterday, and he was certain the dose was supposed to be much smaller.
His heart sank, and before he could think better of it, he stepped forward and reached out.
“Wait.”
Thomas froze, his hand hovering over the bottle. He turned to look at Rowan, his expression wary. “What?”
Rowan gestured toward the syringe. “I think that might be too much. I’m pretty sure the dosage was smaller yesterday.”
Thomas’s eyes dropped to the syringe, and Rowan saw the moment realization hit. The color drained from Thomas’s face, and his jaw tightened. He set the syringe down carefully on the counter, like he was afraid he might drop it if he wasn’t careful.
“You’re right,” Thomas said quietly. His tone was flat. “I wasn’t paying attention.”
Rowan didn’t know what to say. He could see the embarrassment in Thomas’s expression, but also the guilt. Thomas’s hands clenched into fists, and for a moment, Rowan thought he might snap. But Thomas didn’t say anything. He just stood there, staring at the counter.
Rowan cleared his throat. “It’s fine. No harm done, right? I caught it before anything happened.”
Thomas didn’t answer. Rowan stayed where he was, but he wanted to help. “You know what you need?”
Thomas finally looked at him. “What?”
“Coffee,” Rowan declared. “A lot of it. I mean, can’t exactly take a nap in the middle of the workday, but coffee might help.”
Thomas blinked. Rowan could see the tension in his shoulders relax just a bit, but then it came right back. Thomas opened his mouth, and Rowan braced himself for the argument he knew was coming.
“I don’t need—”
“You do,” Rowan interrupted. “Come on, Thomas. You’re exhausted. I can see it, Shane can see it, and I’m guessing you can feel it. You just almost gave that cat the wrong dose. That’s not like you.”
Thomas’s mouth snapped shut, and he looked away again. For a moment, Rowan thought he might lose the fight. Thomas was the type to push through and keep going until he collapsed, and Rowan didn’t want to see that happen.
But then, to Rowan’s surprise, Thomas’s shoulders sagged. He let out a long breath and rubbed a hand over his face.
“Okay,” Thomas said. “You’re right. I need coffee.”
Rowan hadn’t expected Thomas to agree so easily—or at all. He’d been prepared to push harder, but Thomas had given in. It was unexpected, and it made Rowan wonder what the hell was going on with him.
“Good,” he said. “Let’s go get some, then. I’ll make a fresh pot, and you can sit down for a few minutes. The cat can wait.”
Thomas nodded slowly. He picked up the syringe and carefully emptied it back into the bottle.
Rowan could see the trembling in his fingers.
When Thomas was done, he put the bottle down and turned to follow Rowan out of the room.
They walked back into the break room in silence.
Rowan wanted to say something to make Thomas feel less self-conscious, but he didn’t know what.
Instead, he focused on making the coffee.
Thomas sank into one of the chairs at the small table, his elbows propped up and his head in his hands.
Rowan glanced at him. He’d only known Thomas for a couple of days, but he could see that the man was pushing himself too hard.
Whatever was keeping him up at night was taking a serious toll.
Thomas would never have forgiven himself if he’d hurt the cat by giving her the wrong dosage.
The coffee machine beeped, and Rowan poured two mugs. He carried both over to the table and put one down in front of Thomas, then sat in the chair across from him.
“Here,” he said.
Thomas lifted his head and reached for the mug, wrapping both hands around it like he was trying to absorb its warmth. He took a long sip, his eyes closing briefly, and Rowan saw some of the tension leave his expression.
“Thanks,” Thomas murmured.
“No problem.”
They sat in silence for a while. Rowan sipped his coffee and watched Thomas out of the corner of his eye, relieved when the man’s shoulders slowly relaxed.
The coffee was helping, but Rowan knew it was only a temporary fix.
Thomas needed rest, and Rowan had a feeling he wasn’t going to get it anytime soon.
Finally, Thomas put his mug down and looked at Rowan. His expression was still guarded, but there was something softer in his eyes now. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “For almost messing up with the medication. And for snapping at you.”
Rowan shook his head. “You don’t have to apologize. Everyone has bad days. And like I said, no harm done.”
Thomas nodded, but he didn’t look entirely convinced. He took another sip of his coffee, his gaze dropping to the table. “I can’t afford to make mistakes like that. These animals depend on us. They trust us to take care of them, and if I mess up, well...”
“You won’t,” Rowan said. “You’re a good person, Thomas. And you’re good at your job. But you’re also human, and you can’t run on empty forever. You need to take care of yourself, too.”
Thomas looked up at him. For a moment, Rowan thought he might insist that he was fine and didn’t need anyone’s worry. But then Thomas nodded, his lips pressing into a thin line.
“I’ll try,” Thomas said.
It wasn’t much, but it was something. Rowan gave him a small smile and raised his mug in a mock toast.
“To coffee,” he said.
Thomas huffed out a laugh, and for the first time that day, Rowan saw a smile on his face.
“To coffee,” Thomas echoed, clinking his mug against Rowan’s.
They sat there for a few more minutes, drinking their coffee in silence.
Rowan felt something warm and hopeful settle in his chest. Maybe Thomas didn’t trust him yet, but it was a start, and Rowan was willing to be patient.
He’d wait as long as it took for Thomas to let him in, because he had a feeling that once Thomas did, it would be worth it.
For now, coffee was enough.
* * * *
THOMAS DIDN’T KNOW what to do or say. He didn’t want to think about what might have happened if Rowan hadn’t noticed he was about to give one of the animals the wrong dosage.
He wasn’t a vet, so he didn’t know for sure, but he couldn’t imagine it would’ve been good.
He would never have forgiven himself, especially because he knew why he’d been making that mistake.
He was exhausted. He had too much on his plate and not enough support, and that was entirely his fault. Hiding that he was getting his GED from his family had been his choice, but he was starting to wonder if it had been the right one.
What did he have to be ashamed of? His family already knew he didn’t have his high school diploma.
He’d been living with them on the street since he was barely more than a kid.
They knew he hadn’t finished high school.
Actually, Thomas was surprised that none of them had suggested he do it yet.
They wouldn’t care if he failed, either.
They’d be sad for him, but they’d support him, whether or not he wanted to try again.
Besides, there was no way for him to know if he’d fail.
He might feel like an idiot when he studied sometimes, but he knew it was just a feeling.
Well, it wasn’t right now. He had been an idiot about this. He’d risked hurting one of the animals in the sanctuary, and he hated the thought.
“Are you going to report me to Shane?” he asked.
Rowan blinked. It was as if he hadn’t expected Thomas to ask that, which Thomas didn’t understand. Of course he wanted to know. He didn’t want to lose his job, but maybe he should.
“No,” Rowan said. “It was a mistake, and nothing happened, anyway. You shouldn’t be punished for that.”
“I should be if I put a life in danger.”
“Thomas, no one’s perfect.”
Rowan leaned closer. He didn’t get too close, for which Thomas was glad, but it made him wonder how Rowan could know that he wasn’t comfortable. Was he that easy to read, or was it a Rowan thing?
“I don’t know what’s going on with you, and you don’t have to tell me, but I think you’re beating yourself up way too harshly. Yes, the mistake you made could’ve been disastrous, but it wasn’t, and I’m sure you’ll be more careful from now on. You know what’s at stake.”
He was right. Thomas would ensure he never hurt any of the animals here.
He’d double and triple-check every dosage.
Hell, he might ask Shane to assign someone else to do it.
All of this medical stuff was overseen by vets, and for some reason, they trusted Thomas, but he wasn’t sure he trusted himself anymore.
Rowan leaned back. He seemed satisfied with what he’d said, and something told Thomas that as far as he was concerned, the conversation was over. That was why he wasn’t surprised when Rowan started talking about his birth pack instead of focusing on Thomas’s mistake.
“We don’t have this kind of place where I’m from,” he explained.
“I don’t think our alpha would ever use pack money for something like this.
Of course, he’s very traditional, so there’s that, but still.
I think he doesn’t believe that animals are worth it, which is kind of weird considering that we can turn into wolves. ”
“Why did you leave?” Thomas asked, happy to have the spotlight away from him.
“Have you ever lived with a traditional pack before?”
Thomas shook his head. “This is my first real pack experience. There was the pack I was with before, but we’ve integrated into the Mayport pack, and we were never a real pack, anyway. We were more like family.”