Chapter Two #3
Rowan nodded. “I’ve heard of small packs like that.
It sounds nicer than what I had to grow up with.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s good that I had the support and safety of the pack, but it felt restrictive.
The alpha is a traditionalist. Hell, I’d say he’s an asshole in some ways.
There are no same-sex couples in our pack, for example.
He wouldn’t have allowed me to marry a man.
He also doesn’t allow any human or other kind of shifter in. It’s wolves, and that’s that.”
Thomas frowned. That wasn’t something he understood, probably because of his family. “Why not? What difference does it make?”
Rowan shrugged. “None, as far as I’m concerned, but like I said, my old pack is very traditional. The alpha’s word is law, and everyone has to submit. I realize that’s how it works with a lot of packs, too, but I wanted more. I wanted something different.”
Thomas could understand that. It didn’t sound like a great place to grow up in, especially since Rowan had mentioned not being able to marry a man.
Thomas wasn’t sure if that meant that he was gay, but it certainly hinted at it.
Knowing that he would never be able to be with someone he loved as long as he remained with the pack couldn’t have been easy for Rowan.
“Well, I hope you’ll find what you’re looking for here,” he said.
Rowan smiled. “I’ve been freer since I moved here than I’ve ever been in my life. My old alpha always tried to micromanage everything in our lives, but I’m not part of that pack now. It’s a risk, but it gives me the freedom I’ve never had.”
Thomas could see that Rowan was happy from his expression.
He couldn’t imagine having to live following rigid rules like Rowan had until recently.
It was incredible to him that the alpha hadn’t allowed other species in.
None of the people he loved were rabbit shifters.
He’d spent the past few years growing closer and closer to dragons, bears, and other species of shifters.
He now lived with a pack that was mainly made up of bears, although not entirely, especially since he and his family had moved in.
He didn’t care what kind of shifter other people were, just what kind of person they were.
What would it change if they were a dragon, a horse, or a cow shifter?
Nothing, at least not to him. He was glad that Rowan had that now, too.
He wasn’t a pack member, but Thomas was pretty sure that he could become one if he wanted to.
Chance wasn’t picky about the people he welcomed in.
As long as they were good people, he was happy to open the pack to them.
Maybe if Rowan realized that he missed being part of a pack, this could be an option for him.
“Well, I’m glad you have all of that,” Thomas said.
“I’m glad, too.” He hesitated. “I’m happy we had this conversation. I know we’re not friends, not yet, but I want you to know that if you need to talk about anything, I’m here to listen. I don’t know your history, and I don’t know why you’re exhausting yourself, but I’m worried.”
Thomas looked down at his cup of coffee.
He was worried, too, but if he wasn’t ready to talk to his family, how could he be ready to talk to a stranger?
Hell, he might be willing to talk to a stranger if he knew he’d never see them again, but he knew he’d see Rowan tomorrow, and the day after that.
What if Thomas told him what he was doing and had to explain that he’d failed?
Thomas didn’t want to be a failure. He didn’t want to disappoint people. For now, he’d feel better keeping his secret. He didn’t know if he’d ever tell Rowan or anyone else, but he did know that he couldn’t continue like this.
“I promise I’ll get more sleep,” he said. “And I’ll be more careful. I don’t want to hurt anyone.”
“I know that you don’t. I’m worried about you, though.”
Thomas had a hard time believing that. He and Rowan barely knew each other, so it didn’t make sense, but Thomas couldn’t deny the way Rowan was behaving.
Maybe Rowan was just a kind person. Maybe he really did care about Thomas, at least enough not to want him to be this tired all the time.
Whatever the reason, Thomas knew he couldn’t continue like this.
Something was going to break if he did, and if it wasn’t himself, it might be someone he cared about or one of the animals he was responsible for.
That wasn’t something he could ever forgive himself for, which meant he had to change.
“I’ll do better,” he promised.
He hoped it would be enough.
* * * *
ROWAN HAD ENOUGH OF eating dinner on his own at the diner, but he wasn’t a great cook.
He should probably learn now that he was alone, but before, it had always been his mother who cooked.
That was how things worked. It wasn’t so much that his family was traditional like the alpha wanted them to be; it was more like it was how all of them had been raised.
Of course Rowan’s father was the only one who worked while his mother stayed home.
Of course she was the only one who cleaned the house and took care of the children. It was tradition, wasn’t it?
That meant Rowan had never learned how to cook, which, in turn, meant that he was relying on the diner to feed him, and it was getting a little old.
He wasn’t sure where to start when it came to cooking, though.
He should probably check the Internet for easy recipes and try them since he had an apartment and a serviceable kitchen, but part of him was afraid.
He didn’t want to fail, even though he knew that it would happen eventually.
It felt too much like admitting that his old alpha had been right when he told him that he’d regret leaving.
But that feeling didn’t mean that he’d regret anything. He certainly couldn’t regret moving to Mayport. Everyone had been nice, both at work and in town. The waitresses at the diner recognized him now, and they always chatted a little bit when Rowan was there.
“Did you want anything else?” Alice asked as she reached his table.
“No, thank you. I’m stuffed. The meatloaf was delicious, as always.”
Alice nodded. “I’ll be sure to let the cook know.”
Rowan reached down for his wallet, but it wasn’t in his pocket where he usually kept it. He looked on the seat, then on the floor, but the damn thing was nowhere to be found. Just to be sure, Rowan checked his pockets once again, but it didn’t make his wallet magically appear.
Alice was watching him with an amused expression. She didn’t say anything or interrupt, waiting for Rowan to sheepishly admit, “I think I left my wallet at work.”
She shook her head with a chuckle. “It happens to the best of us. You can pay with your phone.”
Rowan was thankful for that because it would’ve been humiliating to have to come back later to pay, but he still needed his wallet.
Thankfully, Mayport was small, and the sanctuary wasn’t far from the diner.
It wouldn’t take long for him to go back, grab his wallet, and go home.
Besides, it was a warm evening, and he didn’t want to go home just yet.
The walk back gave him time to think about his earlier conversation with Thomas.
He hoped he hadn’t been too pushy, but something about Thomas’s exhaustion worried him.
It reminded him of his sister and how she’d pushed herself too hard, trying to prove something to everyone, including herself.
Rowan had learned then that sometimes people needed help even when they wouldn’t ask for it.
The trick was offering without making them feel bad about it.
He kicked a pebble down the sidewalk. Maybe he was overstepping.
He and Thomas were just coworkers, after all.
But Rowan had been the new person in town long enough to know how isolating it could feel and how easy it was to convince yourself that you had to handle everything alone.
If Thomas was going through something, maybe all he needed was to know someone cared enough to notice.
The sanctuary was open twenty-four seven.
Rowan had briefly met the other people who worked there, but he mainly worked with Thomas, and he was happy about that.
He liked Thomas. He wished there was more he could do for the man, but until Thomas told him what was up with him, Rowan couldn’t help.
He didn’t expect Thomas to come to him, though.
They weren’t close. He could barely say that they were friends, even though he wanted them to be.
Maybe one day, that would change, but for now, they were coworkers, nothing more.
He walked into the front room, waving at the woman behind the counter.
She didn’t tell him to stop when he slipped into the back and headed to the break room, so she probably recognized him.
He’d check his locker, and hopefully, he’d find what he was looking for.
He really hoped he hadn’t lost his wallet somewhere.
Thinking of the hassle of having to get a new driver’s license and credit cards was enough to stress him out already.
He stepped into the break room and froze.
He’d expected the room to be empty, but it wasn’t.
Thomas was sitting at the table, which was covered in open books, notebooks, and various colors of pens.
Thomas’s head was pressed against the book in front of him, and even from the back, Rowan could tell that he was asleep.
Thomas hadn’t wanted to tell Rowan what was going on with him, but Rowan was pretty sure that this was part of it.
He didn’t know if Thomas would be unhappy with him finding out, so he moved around the room as quietly as he could.
Luckily for him, his wallet was by the sink.
Unluckily for him, Thomas hadn’t been deeply asleep because he jerked up into a sitting position, frantically looking around as Rowan stopped moving.
It was a bit too late to try not to wake Thomas, but Rowan didn’t want to spook him even more than he was.
“What are you doing here?” Thomas asked, sounding accusing.
Rowan raised his wallet. “Forgot this. What are you doing here?”
Thomas looked down at the table and paled. Rowan had seen enough to think that he knew what was happening, and he wasn’t sure why Thomas had wanted to keep it a secret so badly. Maybe he expected Rowan to judge him. Rowan wouldn’t, though.
“Nothing,” Thomas quickly said.
Rowan didn’t call him out on it. He decided to try another way instead. “My younger sister didn’t graduate from high school,” he said. “She got pregnant at sixteen.”
Thomas wrinkled his nose. “Let me guess. Your alpha had something to say about it?”
Rowan snorted softly. “Yeah. She didn’t want the baby, not at her age, but she didn’t have a choice. She didn’t let that stop her. Once the baby was a little older, she got her GED. I was proud of her. I still am.”
Thomas sighed. “So you know.”
“I guessed. I’m not sure why you didn’t want to tell me, but you don’t have to give me an explanation. I just want to offer my help if you need it. I helped my sister, too. I’m not saying that’s the reason she passed on the first try, but you never know.”
Thomas chuckled. “So you’re telling me that if I study with you, I’ll pass?”
“You’ll pass even if you don’t. I just wanted you to know that you don’t have to do this on your own. It’s clear you’ve been struggling, and I realize I don’t know the entire story, but you don’t have to tell me. I’ll help however I can, even if it’s just bringing you coffee.”
“I’m pretty sure that my blood is fifty percent coffee at this point.”
Rowan snorted. “Fair. The offer is there, though. Just let me know.”
Rowan didn’t want to make Thomas uncomfortable, so he didn’t linger.
He waved, then stepped out the door, wanting to give Thomas space.
Thomas hadn’t expected anyone to find out about this, although he probably should have since he’d been studying in the breakroom at work, but he had to be a little overwhelmed.
Rowan was more than happy to let him think about his offer.
Even if he refused, hopefully, it would show him that Rowan cared.
Even if Thomas didn’t need Rowan’s help with his GED, he might need it with something else, and Rowan hoped that Thomas knew he could come to him. Rowan didn’t have friends in town, and while he and Thomas were coworkers, that didn’t mean they couldn’t also be friends.
Rowan was in Mayport to stay. He wanted to build a life here. That meant making friends, and hopefully, Thomas would be the first one.