Chapter Three
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THOMAS STOOD IN THE supply room, staring at the same bottle of vitamins he’d been holding for the past five minutes. His mind kept thinking about what had happened last week and Rowan’s offer.
Thomas had spent weeks convinced that he had to do this alone and that asking for help would be admitting that he was weak. But Rowan hadn’t looked at him like he was stupid. He’d looked at him like it was normal.
He put down the bottle.
He was drowning. He’d been studying for weeks now, and while some of it was starting to make sense, other parts felt impossible. Math especially. The practice tests made his brain hurt.
Thomas heard footsteps in the hallway and straightened. When Rowan appeared in the doorway, Thomas felt his resolve crystallize. It was now or never.
“Hey,” Rowan said, his expression relaxed. He’d been behaving normally, with no judging looks or pitying glances. “Shane wants us to check on the fox that came in yesterday.”
“Yeah, sure.” Thomas put the vitamin bottle back. “Actually, can I talk to you for a second first?”
Something changed in Rowan’s expression. “Of course. What’s up?”
Thomas’s mouth went dry. He’d faced down people twice his size on the street, but asking for help felt impossibly difficult. Of course, he’d had his family support on the street, so he’d known he’d be safe.
“Last week,” he started, then had to clear his throat. “When you found me in the breakroom. You offered to help me study. For the GED.”
Rowan’s expression lit up. “Yeah, absolutely. The offer still stands.”
“You really meant it? I mean, we barely know each other. Why would you want to spend your free time helping me?”
Rowan leaned against the doorframe. He took his time answering, which was something Thomas had noticed he did. Rowan didn’t just say things to fill the silence.
“Honestly? Because in a way, I’ve been where you are. I finished high school, but I’ve been the person who needed help and was too proud or too scared to ask for it. I’ve also watched people I care about struggle alone when they didn’t have to. My sister, especially.”
Thomas remembered Rowan mentioning his sister. How could he forget?
“Also,” Rowan continued, “I don’t really know anyone in Mayport yet. I work here, I go to the diner, I go home. That’s pretty much it. Having a study buddy sounds nice. It’ll give me something to do besides watch TV and wonder if I should finally learn how to cook.”
That surprised a laugh out of Thomas. “You don’t know how to cook?”
“Not even a little bit. My mom did all the cooking growing up. Now I’m paying for it with my diner bills.”
Thomas felt some of his anxiety ease. There was something comforting about knowing that Rowan wasn’t a perfect adult like he seemed to be. “Okay,” Thomas said before he could second-guess himself. “Okay, yeah. I’d like that. The help, I mean.”
“Yeah?” Rowan’s smile widened. “That’s great. When works for you?”
Thomas thought about his schedule. He’d been trying to study every evening, usually staying late at the sanctuary so that Seth and Ryan wouldn’t catch him. “What about after work today? We could meet at the diner.”
“Perfect. The diner it is.” Rowan pushed off from the doorframe. “Fair warning, though, I’m going to make you explain what you’re struggling with so I can actually help. No suffering in silence allowed.”
Thomas felt his cheeks heat because that was exactly what he’d been doing. “I don’t suffer in silence.”
Rowan raised an eyebrow.
“Okay, fine,” Thomas said with a huff. “But I’m not good at asking for help, or at talking about things I’m not good at.”
“That’s okay. We’ll work on that, too.” Rowan’s tone was light, but his expression was understanding. “Come on, let’s go check on that fox.”
They walked down the hallway together, and Thomas tried to process what had just happened. He’d asked for help. He’d admitted he was struggling, and he felt relieved.
The fox was skittish, pressed into the corner of the enclosure. Thomas recognized a fear he’d felt plenty of times himself. The instinct to make yourself small and hide.
“Hey, girl,” he said softly, crouching down. “It’s okay. Nobody’s going to hurt you here.”
Rowan crouched beside him. “How long before she settles in?”
“Depends on what she’s been through,” Thomas said. “Some animals bounce back quickly. Others take time. You can’t rush trust.”
“That’s true for people too, I think.”
Thomas glanced at him. “Yeah. I guess it is.”
They sat there for a while, letting the fox get used to them. Eventually, she uncurled slightly, her nose twitching in their direction. It wasn’t much, but it was progress.
The rest of the day passed in a blur, but Thomas found his anxiety ramping up as his shift ended. It was one thing to accept help in theory, but another thing entirely to sit down with Rowan and reveal how much he was struggling.
The truth was, Thomas wasn’t just worried about passing the GED. He was worried about what it would mean if he failed. Getting his GED felt like reaching for something more, and if he failed, it would feel like proof that wanting more was pointless.
But then he thought about Rowan’s sister. She’d gotten her GED even after having a baby at sixteen.
With Rowan’s help.
* * * *
WHEN HIS SHIFT ENDED, Thomas gathered his things from the breakroom.
The walk to the diner took less than ten minutes, but Thomas’s heart raced the entire time.
He found Rowan already there, sitting in a booth with two cups of coffee.
When Rowan saw him, he waved, his expression so pleased that some of Thomas’s anxiety eased.
“I ordered you coffee,” Rowan said as Thomas slid into the booth. “Hope that’s okay. Alice remembered how you take it, and I’ve seen you drink it at work.”
Thomas wrapped his hands around the warm mug. “Thanks.”
“So,” Rowan said, sounding casual. “Where do you want to start? What’s giving you the most trouble?”
Thomas took a breath, pulled out his notebook, and flipped to the last page. “Math,” he admitted. “Algebra specifically. I can do basic stuff fine, but this...” He gestured at the page. “This might as well be written in another language.” Chinese, maybe, or Russian.
Rowan pulled the notebook closer. “This isn’t as bad as you think. Algebra is just about finding the unknown. It’s like a puzzle. You have all the pieces, you just have to put them in the right order.”
“That doesn’t make it sound any easier,” Thomas said, but he leaned forward anyway. He had to get this.
Rowan smiled. “Yeah, okay. Here, let’s start with this one. Walk me through what you do understand, and we’ll build from there.”
Rowan was patient, breaking down concepts into pieces that made sense and never making Thomas feel stupid. When Thomas got frustrated, Rowan would give him a break, then come back to it from a different angle.
Alice came by to take their order, and they ended up staying for dinner. As they ate, they talked about work, about Mayport, about nothing in particular. It felt natural and comfortable in a way Thomas hadn’t expected.
“You know,” Thomas said during a pause in conversation, “I still don’t really get why you’re doing this.”
Rowan looked up from his plate. “What do you mean?”
“You don’t really know me. And now you’re spending your evening helping me study.”
Rowan was quiet for a moment, then shrugged. “Maybe this is what I’d rather be doing. I told you that I don’t know anyone here yet. You’re my coworker, yeah, but, well...” He hesitated. “I’d like us to be friends too, if you’re open to that.”
Friends. The word settled into Thomas’s chest. When was the last time someone had asked to be his friend? His found family was everything to him, but outside of them, Thomas didn’t really have friends. He was too busy. “Yeah,” he said. “I’d like that, too.”
Rowan’s smile was bright, and Thomas felt something in him relax. Maybe letting someone in could actually be a good thing.
They stayed at the diner until Alice started giving them pointed looks about closing time. For the first time in weeks, the GED didn’t feel quite so overwhelming. It was still hard and really fucking scary, but at least now Thomas wasn’t facing it alone.
“Same time tomorrow?” Rowan asked as they gathered their things.
“Yeah,” Thomas agreed. “Tomorrow works.”
They walked out into the evening air, and Thomas felt lighter than he had in weeks. He still had to take the exam, but now he had help. He had someone who believed he could do this.
“Thanks,” Thomas said. “For not making me feel stupid about needing help.”
“You’re not stupid,” Rowan said firmly. “Not even close. You’re someone who’s working hard to achieve something important, and that takes courage.”
Thomas didn’t trust himself to speak without his voice shaking, so he just nodded. For the first time since he’d started this, Thomas let himself believe that maybe he could actually do it.
And if he stumbled, well...now he knew he didn’t have to face it alone.
* * * *
ROWAN SHOULD BE MORE focused on the fox than he was on Thomas, but that was proving to be a hard thing to do.
He’d found it impossible not to stare at his coworker as they worked together, getting the room ready for the vet.
They needed to examine the fox and work on its broken leg.
Hopefully, the fox was healthy apart from that.
Rowan had known that working with animals would be hard, but luckily for him, so far, he hadn’t lost any.
It would happen eventually, and when it did, he wasn’t sure what he’d do.
He didn’t have anyone to talk to about those things beyond Thomas, and he didn’t want to burden Thomas with his feelings. The poor man had enough to focus on.